Chapter 7
Yay!
AHHHHHHH!SEVEN! Hm…six technically? Naw, I'll say seven!
And you guys keep getting better! SEVEN!
Sorry for not updating sooner!
And, here we go, thanks to!
xX-LadypersoN-Xx- AHAHAHA! I don't know what else to say to that except…Oh dear…well…I'm glad you like it! XD
MissusTodd- Oh! I've been bravoed! Thanks!
xDazedandConfusedX- Story with Ella and Nellie? Hmm…and you reviewed twice! I was like…she reviewed chapter 6? And then chapter 5? But then I read it and…yeah…ok! I got it!
Sheila Chiaroscura- Ah yes…Albert was being a real idiot…
Sweenylovett101- It's ok as long as you got to reading it! Glad you is liking it!
and
Lovely- I'm glad you brought the donuts! Thank you =) Thanks also for the great reviews, I always look forward to yours.
So, in addition to all of these, I would quickly like to thank my reviews of the drabble I wrote, Name.
Thanks- Saphire Skyle, Sheila Chiaroscura, ShellyMay, sweenylovett101, and Lovely!
Now read on!
May 2nd
The days are finally warming up as the flowers bloom and the trees come to life again. The smell of fresh rain lightens the air and the Londoners seem to walk a little happier-with a spring in their step. I love simply being outside and filling my lungs with the moist air- I love it so.
Let's see…what has all happened in the past few weeks? Well…your father's funeral was on a dark rainy day. Dreary really…nobody really showed up…It wasn't much of anything. Not a memorial-not a place for mourning-it was just another day.
Hm.
Well…I suppose the days have been different. Quieter, lonelier…but still…it's not all necessarily that bad, is it now? I mean, you're still her. Not here yet to hold and see, but you're still here…and that's enough to make the days easy enough to get through. To just make me…happy.
I don't bother and try to hide my lack of sadness for my suddenly very empty house. The only people that I really interact with now is the Barkers-which is why this particular letter might seem long and boring-cause I have nothing better to do until you come!
Hm…
I've finally gone to a midwife. Very kind, she is. Scolded me tough for still wearing a corset! Don't worry, I stopped wearing one now…now that Albert isn't here anymore. Over seven months she tells me I am…pinning the day you will come somewhere during a hot day in the middle of June.
I count the days until you will come. I simply can't wait!
Since Albert had his…accident…Benjamin sometimes walks downstairs during the day to check on me. He's ever so caring. I swear I feel you get excited every time he speaks. I always knew you would love him.
We spoke earlier today. I remember I was in a particularly good mood. The sun was so bright and the weather so perfect. It doesn't seem we get too many days like this in dreary old London. Well, I went and sat in the booth in the pie shop. Feeling specially relaxed, I leaned back and laid down on the hard wooden seat. My hair curled over the edges of the side and onto the floor, but in the moment, I didn't mind much. I just smiled at how it made me feel like a girl again. The windows were open and warm sunshine fell through the glass and splayed on my face. I remember just closing my eyes and smiling, loving how everything just seemed so perfect.
I hadn't ever noticed any knocking or even the door opening. I wasn't even aware of Benjamin until he said something.
"I hope you don't mind, but the door was open…"
I gasped as my heart raced. My eyes shot open, but I didn't bother to try getting up.
I knew that sweet voice by heart.
"Oh, sorry…did I startle you?" I heard his apologetic voice.
"Just a bit," I replied with a smile, "Forgotten I left that door open, that's all. It's just such a beautiful day…"
Now I could see his smile as he looked down at me still laying on my back. I wish you could have seen him in that moment, my darling. The sun grabbing his features and illuminating them as his lips pulled up. And the breeze coming through the door and flying through his smooth brown hair…
"Are you alright?" he asked with a chuckle and a smirk.
All I found I could do was have a big foolish looking smile spread across my face and burst into laughter!
Laughing along with me, Benjamin offered his hand and I took it so I could sit up.
"How are you on this fine day?" he said to me after I was up as he slipped into the stool on the other side of the table.
I smiled and nodded in a response, "and you?"
"Smashing…Wonderful day, plenty of customers for the shop. Lucy and Johanna went to the market so I thought I'd stop by to ensure that you were doing alright."
"I'm just fine…we're just fine," I answered placing my hand on my curved stomach, feeling you move below my fingertips. Before he could get anything else said, I went on, my child-like excitement shocking exhilaration into me. "My midwife say's she'll be here in the middle of June. That's almost a month!"
"You're beaming," he mentioned and I pressed my lips together in an attempt to stifle my embarrassing anticipation.
I suppose it didn't really work. "You seem very thrilled!"
I didn't try and stop the happiness this time and I let the smile you constantly cause me freely slide across my lips.
Silence fell over us and I let it wash over and calm me. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath of the fresh, clean air, listening to the pleasant singing birds outside. It added to the cheery moment.
All too suddenly though, a different kind of feeling came over me. You tumbled and turned and I think that's when it finally hit me…Hit me straight in the face. It slid down into my chest until it struck my heart and then continued to fall into the pit of my stomach. It stirred up butterflies that rippled from my stomach through my veins to the rest of me. Suddenly I was chilled-I was nervous.
You would be here soon. I'd be a mother…a single, lone mum with time tight…and money tighter.
Benjamin must have noticed as my expression fell. "Wot?" he asked, capturing my declining gaze.
"I'm going to be a mum…my god…in almost a month…" only now my voice wasn't filled with enthusiasm, it was coated with…shock…awe...something else…fear? I suddenly became aware of the fact that my eyebrows were pulled together so tight it hurt.
"I'm not sure I know how to be a mum…I'm not sure I can…". Sitting there and thinking about it, I found myself wishing, for the first time probably ever, that Albert was here. I've never felt so alone and lost. I mean, really, even now, writing this to you, I don't know how everything's going to work out. My mum died before she taught me much…I don't know anything children.
I only want the best for you…
I was on the verge of bursting into tears when Benjamin leaned over and put his hands on mine where they now sat fidgeting nervously on the table. My small, cold hands got lost in his and I followed the loving gesture up to his eyes. He smiled his oh-so wonderful smile and what he said next I'll never forget…I swear it.
"Unconditional love, Mrs. Lovett. Love no matter what. Always be the light in a dark world. Always be the place for refuge, no matter what she's done. That's all that you need to know to be a parent-unconditional love."
I haven't got much to offer, but I've got a roof over our heads, and a whole lot of unconditional love that I want to give all to you, my sweet little girl.
Ella.
Ella Elizabeth Lovett.
I eagerly await the day.
I count the days-the hours-the seconds till you come.
With a smile, a beaming, eager face, arms wide open, and unconditional love- In waiting.
Oh so patiently waiting…
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And I've decided on more chapters but shorter ones, so I hope it doesn't kill you!