Chapter4:
the whole drive home I was fighting with myself, nothing was right! I was supposed to love Edward and that's how things should be! So what's wrong with me! Why aren't I feeling the same as before this whole victoria thing? Everything was so much easier and…..less complicated! I want to love Edward but I cant…not anymore, with all this mess I saw his true-over protective self, and I don't like it even one bit, maybe sometimes your boy-friend wants to protect you and you feel all giddy and special but this isn't one of those times and it feels more like…like…Edward is protecting his property! Like I'm just a piece of wood with no emotions! And I DO NOT like his behavior! I mean even if we were soul mates shouldn't we be like Rose & Emmett, Carlisle & Esme, Alice & jasper? What me and Edward have is nothing like theirs…..maybe it was at the beginning but now…..i don't even know what we have! Its all so confusing some part of me doesn't want to lose him and the other…..well wants to kill him or kick him outta my life!
Finally im home! Yayyyyyyyy! I don't know why I was so happy but this drive looked like it took years and plus I really needed a hot shower.
I parked my car and went straight upstairs .
*****after shower*****
Now lying on my bed with my fave book on my chest I felt a tinsey-winsey better but still as we know showers won't make your problems go away, you should still face them and….well its hard to do so specially in my case. i just wish my best-friend/everything was here and when I say everything I really mean it he literally was my everything my first boyfriend ,best friend, first kiss and well the part that I never mentioned to Edward or um maybe lied? I mean I knew it was wrong and all but still I just wanted to start fresh, leave my life in Arizona behind me and act like I was still a virgin, but well im not. All those stuff that I did…well long story short ,I wasn't like this before I was like the it girl fashion, party's, cheerleading and boys were the center of my universe and I was more than glad when René and Phil went on tour I mean why wouldn't I be? My party's were like the best! Everyone would have killed to get invited but boy the hangover was such a bitch beside the cleaning I might add. I mean it would have been like an episodes of survivors when me and my friends cleaned the house so René wouldn't find out!not that she would flip but she would give me the safety speech and god it was embarrassing!
But I really need Rilz to give me an advice he's advises were like the grandmother I never had, seriously he was like a bf/fortune cookie! Oh god what a good times we had…..everything was great, in place like it should have been, like a real fairy-tale, I almost had my happily ever after but I should have known it wouldn't last that long…that every good thing has an ending, that after a fan-fucking-tastic 17 years of life something would happen to change it all or ruin it to be exact ,but of course aside from Rilez leaving, that's the 1st worse thing that had ever happened to me, if he hadn't left none of this would have happened in the first place, not that I blame him for anything, just like my old English teacher always said: our actions set things in motion, and what I did made my life hell cause of it! The 2nd thing that I did to screw my life was…well I let loose you know? When Rilz had to leave, my world came crashing down, I lost myself, I felt empty or maybe its better to say broken, like the other half of me was gone and when Edward left…well everything came crashing down and it destroyed me….again, well as I was saying I let loose and started to sleep with every one of Rilz friends or better yet stranger in bars, and yes I have an fake id! Who doesn't? and then…um things got out of control… I was the head cheerleader but some jack-ass that wanted to screw up my life even worse dosed my water with some kind of an drug and well I fell down from our "human pyramid" as our couch put it .and I shattered every bone in my left leg as that creepy nurse joked about. She joked! I broke my leg in 2 different places and she was joking about it! Can you believe it! I just wanted to slap her and sew her lips together! And well that's what changed my life completely, not the leg or being disqualified from the team but that phony DOCTOR, every time I think about it I wanna throw up! Ewwww (shudders).
-bellaaaaaa!
Charlie's voice interrupted my thoughts. Oh riley where are you? He was supposed to call and txt me, but he never did and every time I called no one answered! The pain I was trying to keep locked up is out again and it meant one thing, I had to find him,riley.
I got up from my bed and placed the book on my desk and went downstairs
-what is it Charlie?
-alice is here!
I could see his smile in his voice
-oh
When I reached the kitchen alice was sitting crossed legged in front of Charlie with a big smile plasted on her face
-hey guys .sup alice?
What was she doing here?
-just wanted to hang out with u tonight if you don't mind everyone's out camping tonight and I didn't want to go and you know how scared I am to be alone in that big house in the middle of the jungle
Alice smiled apolitically to me, ohhhhh Edward set her up to this! God!
-sure alice
I forced the words to come out of my mouth
-but before we go upstairs I have to ask Charlie something.
-what is it bells?
-would You do me a favor? please?
-sure bells anything for you.
Charlie offered a smile to me
-I had a friend once in Arizona but they moved to Seattle but then I couldn't reach him or contact him since then, could you um run his name in your system and see what comes out? Maybe an address or phone number?
-sure bells let me get a paper and pen so I wont forget his name…give me the name…
-riley, riley biers.
Charlie froze so did alice, what was going on? Did they knew something I didn't know?
-ah bella are you sure that's his name?
-yeah im sure, what's wrong?
-what does he look like?
-um…dirty blond hair, brownish-hazel eyes, his about 6'3…..
I looked at them, they both looking at me with concern. Was he dead? What the hell is going on? My heart beat was taking a fast pace, my palms got sweaty
-bella calm down!
Alice said and was by my side in a flash
-what is it?
My voice was shaking, tears welding in my eyes
-bella he's been reported missing for over 13 months now. Where you two close?
I just nodded tears found their way down my cheek and there was no way I could stop them now
-Bella…I'm sorry….lets go upstairs and talk about it, huh?
-yeah that's a great idea
Charlie said, he was never good with tears
I didn't know how but I was sitting on my bed, riley was missing over a year? What does this mean? Was he dead? Or ran away with a hot girl? The last one made me jealous so let it go.
-how did you know about this?
I asked alice.
-bella…..
DUDUHDUHDUUUUUUUUH DUMDUM DUM DUUUUUMMMM!
SO WHAT DOES ALICE KNOW?
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