Well, last update before I go on my trip. Leave me lots of reviews to greet me when I get back!
DJ joined in on the pranking off camera, btw. Just thought it'd be a waste to write the scene.
So this chapter's actually kinda short, compared to the past few. Hope it's adequate. Next chapter will have more, fo sho. :D
Well, please read, review and, of course, enjoy!
"And welcome back, TV audience!" Chris greeted to the camera, grinning his signature grin. "During the break, we took the liberty of challenging a few more campers. Let's see what you missed!"
LeShawna quietly slipped a pair of rubber gloves on, biting her lip. She took the lid off of the glass aquarium in front of her, lifting a squishy jellyfish out. Regretful for choosing to do this, she puckered her lips and slowly pulled the jellyfish closer to her face, until her lips touched its surface, shocking her immediately. She dropped the blobby fish on the ground, her long ponytail sticking straight up and her left eye twitching. The buzz of failure buzzed, since she had not kissed the jellyfish for ten seconds straight. Marina rushed over to the jellyfish immediately, putting the creature back in it's aquarium.
Sighing, she removed the gloves, tossed them to Chris, and headed to the Loser Stands, trying to smooth out the stiff mess she now called her hair.
Selena slid the headphones over her ears and got comfortable in her seat. She looked content with her decision at first, until 'Surfin' Bird' started blaring from the headphones. Selena screamed, ripped them off, and threw them as far away from her as possible.
Tamyra had to come get her and take her to the Loser Stands. Mainly because Selena wouldn't get up, too busy rocking back and forth in the fetal position.
DJ took one look at the dog in front of him, turned back to Chris and said, "You know what, there's no way am I Frenching this thing!" The buzz of failure buzzed.
Jovie, kneeling on the ground, gulped as Owen removed his shoe. He took a seat and stuck his foot out at her. She stuck her tongue out, and the tip of it didn't even touch the bottom of his foot before she turned around and threw up. The buzz of failure buzzed.
Cody looked over the two slips Chris had handed him for the fifth time. He looked back at the host and cocked an eyebrow at him. "Chris, neither of these things are legal."
"There are in some countries," Chris told him matter-of-factly.
"Not in Canada, though!"
"Are you gonna do them or not? We don't have all day, man."
Cody sighed, handed him the papers back, and went to take his new seat. The buzz of failure buzzed.
Marilee was sitting on a stool, with the farm girl herself, Beth, standing right in her face. She was repeating the same phrase over and over. "Thhe thold theathells by the theathore, thhe thold theathells by the theathore, thhe thold theathells by the theathore, thhe thold theathells by the theathore-" She continued the mantra for a while, and Marilee calmly flinched with each bit of spittle that splattered her face. After a while, however, her eye started to twitch in annoyance. She clamped a hand over Beth's lisping mouth, stood up, and walked to the Loser Stands without a word. The buzz of failure was heard.
"Just one chip?" Owen asked, staring at the large bowl of potato chips before him.
"Yes." Chris nodded and held up a finger. "Just. ONE."
He chuckled. "Big deal!" The lovable oaf took a chip and gobbled it down. He grinned triumphantly at the camera and gave it a thumbs up. Then he looked back down at the chips.
The chip he had was really good. It wasn't too greasy, like most chips. Even he didn't like too much grease. It burned his lips… But that chip didn't. Beads of sweat were building on his forehead as he longingly stared at the tempting bowl. So crunchy… yummy… potatoey.
It wasn't long before Owen dumped the entire bowl in his hungry mouth. He munched happily, making 'om nom nom' noises. The buzz of failure buzzed.
"What?" Owen questioned as his teammates angrily glared at him. "They were potatoey!"
"Fun, right?" Chris asked, grinning bigger than ever.
"You're not the one who had to listen to Surfin' Bird!" Selena yelled from the Loser Stands.
"Chris!" Tamyra yelled. "How could you find any of this fun?"
"Yeah, just look what happened to the poor jellyfish!" Marina protested, getting a glare from LeShawna.
"Seriously, Chris, couldn't you give these people a break?" Holly asked
Chris actually looked hurt by their comments. "It's like you girls don't know me at all…" He regained his happy demeanor, turning back to the camera. "Well, there are only five campers left!" He motioned to Candace, Duncan, Zack, and Keith, then his eyes widened when he realized someone was missing. "Wait, just a darn minute… Where's Izzy?"
*T*S*R*
Izzy slowly crept through the bushes, her camouflage cap on and a tranquilizer gun in her hands. She adjusted her protective orange glasses and peered at her prey.
"Jamal, get down here, you big crybaby!" Mia yelled up at the muscular wimp, who was clinging to a very high tree branch in fear.
"No! Th-The wasp might come back!"
She rolled her eyes and told him, "I already put the stupid wasp back, so calm down and get your butt back to the amphitheater!" Jamal still shook her head no.
Izzy jumped out of the bush, yelled "BONZAI!" and fired, hitting the target perfectly.
You know, if her target had been Mia instead of Jamal.
The brunette woozily swayed back and forth, until she finally couldn't stand anymore, falling back. The tranquilizing dart had been shot right in the back of her head. Izzy stood frozen, looking at her mistake.
"Whoops…."
"I was just trying to help Mia out!" Izzy said, shrugging. "Jamal seemed too wiled up to handle by herself. And, being shot by many tranquilizers in the past, I knew that would help her out big time." She scratched her chin and shrugged again. "I guess I didn't calculate for the wind… Oh, speaking of wind, this one time my grandma ate too many beans and-"
*T*S*R*
Chris shrugged. "Oh, well." I guess she forfeits." He turned back to the stands and said, "Candace, I'm actually surprised you made it this far."
She happily blushed and said, "Nothing much really bothers me, is all…"
"Well, let's see if this bothers you…" Chris pulled out two new slips and read, "Would You Rather… wear a suit of armor or an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini for the rest of the challenge?"
Tamyra regretfully dragged out a suit of armor, a small bikini hanging off of it.
Candace shrugged and walked down, grabbing the bikini and heading to the washrooms to change. A few of the guys were extra glad she had chosen that one, high-fiving each other, except Owen, of course. He was too busy licking the bowl formerly filled with the chips clean to even notice his sister's challenge.
She returned, clad in the bikini, and happily sat down next to Keith, who couldn't help but stare at her cleavage. He received an angry glare from Marilee in the Loser Stands.
"Me and Keith?" Marilee asked. "Puh-leeze!" She waved a hand. "That's ridiculous. I wasn't jealous or anything. I just didn't want him ogling sweet, innocent Candace." She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Why would I be jealous of the fact that I was pretty much the only girl here who's boobs he ever looked at, and now he was looking at somebody else's chest?"
Her anger melted a little, and she actually looked disappointed. "I mean, it was actually sort of flattering, a boy only having eyes for your boobs… Having him hit on you the most…" She realized what she just said and her eyes widened. "No, wait, I didn't mean that! I want a do-over!" She punched the camera and yelled, "Gimme that tape! I need to destroy it!"
"Chris, that's just demeaning!" Holly protested, walking up to the host.
"Yeah, seriously!" Tamyra agreed.
"Sheesh," Chris mumbled. "Last year's interns weren't so spoken-minded…" He shrugged and added, "Granted, none of them were hot, so… It all evens out."
Duncan looked down at Zack from the top row, trying to glare a hole into the back of his head. Crossing his arms, he looked over to the Loser Stands, where Geoff and DJ were sitting in the back row. They noticed that he was looking at them, so they shrugged, as if to ask, 'Now?'
Duncan nodded in response, a smirk on his lips.
DJ and Geoff silently slipped out of their seats and snuck behind the curtains of the stage. Geoff took one jar off its table, and DJ the other, both making sure that only their hands could be seen, at the most. They put new ones in their places, going pretty much unnoticed.
"Okay, it's you turn, Zack," Chris stated, walking over to the replaced jars, pulling out two slips. After he did, Geoff and DJ replaced the new jars with the originals again.
Selena, who was too afraid to watch her friend be tortured, looked to the side, seeing that Geoff and DJ, who had been sitting right beside her, were gone. When they came back a few seconds later, she asked, "Where'd you guys run of to?"
"W-what?" Geoff stuttered, poorly trying to hide his nerves. "We, uh, went, uh… bathroom!"
Selena raised an eyebrow. "You couldn't have been gone for too long. I just asked if you had any munchies on you, like, a minute ago."
"Uh, we, uh, you know, um," Geoff played around nervously with his hands, trying to think of a good lie.
"You're the world's worst liar, you know that, Geoffy?" Selena smirked, crossing her arms.
"What Geoff means to say," DJ interrupted, slapping a hand of Geoff's stammering mouth, "is that we went, uh, you know, number one." He nodded. "Lot quicker for guys."
"But there's like a two minute commute from here to the washrooms and since you went there and back-"
"You ask a lot of questions about people's trips to the bathroom, you know that, girl?" DJ asked, still trying to cover.
"I really hated lying to Selena," Geoff said, slumping guiltily. "and I knew DJ hated it just as much as I did, but we knew we had to. After all, we were only pranking Zack to defend her honor. Duncan's my bro, so that makes Selena my, uh, sis, I guess. Now, you guys know I'm pretty chill, but hearing what Zack did to her really makes me mad!" He adjusted his hat and continued, "She's so sweet and caring… She kinda reminds me of Bridgette, in a way."
He covered his mouth and added, "Not that I'd want to date her or anything! I mean she's pretty and all but-" He slapped his forehead a few times in frustration. "No no no! I'd never date her! She's, like, four years younger than me! Ew!" He shook his head again. "Not that I find her gross or anything! If she were a few years older… Wait, no! I mean-" He slapped himself in the forehead again and groaned, "Man, I hope Selena and Duncan don't see this…"
"Hmm," Chris mumbled, reading over the slips. "I don't remember writing these two…" He looked back up at Zack and asked, "Would You Rather… Be kicked off the island immediately or try to survive in the steel death cage with Eva, a bear, and a wasp for ten seconds?"
Zack looked about ready to pee his pants, and everybody gasped, except Chris and Duncan. Even DJ and Geoff. They had had no idea what torturous task Duncan had stuffed into the jars.
"Okay, maybe I'm starting to wander too far out of pranking territory," Duncan admitted, shrugging. "and more into homicidal territory… But, hey, he needed to pay. And that seemed like a good price range to me."
"So, Zack," Chris began, looking pretty euphoric for what was to come. "What'll it be?
*T*S*R*
Trent bit his lip as he stared at sick little Grace, who was laying on a lumpy cot looking into space with lazy eyes. He had no idea what would come of her. And Chef wasn't much help, with his harsh idea of tender, loving care.
"Okay, maggot," Chef began, walking into the infirmary tent. "Time for the mini maggot's shot."
"Aw, man," Trent winced. "The shot. I hated the shot." He started rolling up Grace's sleeve, until Chef stopped him.
"What do you think you're doin'?"
"Um… getting her ready. You had to roll up my sleeve for my shot last year."
Chef got out his needle, watching the purple fluid wade around in it. "Well, this medication's different than last year's. Apparently the one I gave you last year could cripple someone her size, so I had to go with a weaker one. But this one don't go in her arm."
Trent arched an eyebrow. "Okay, uh, where does it go, then? Her leg?"
Chef shook his head no.
"Uh… Back?"
"You're getting warmer…"
Trent sympathetically frowned at his sister. He started flipping her over and she groggily squealed her disapproval.
"Man, poor kid…" Trent scratched the back of his head. "She won't be able to sit down for a week…"
*T*S*R*
"Okay, I knew the first challenge wasn't an option," Zack began, nervously shaking his head. "Sure, I'd probably die dealing with Eva and all them, but at least I'd pass the round and not get voted off!"
Zack fearfully got up from his seat, taking his place by Chris. The handsome host, still grinning like a kid about to get a new toy, yelled, "Bring the cage back out!" Everybody waited a few seconds, but none of the remaining interns came out. "Um… Didn't you hear me?"
"Oh, we heard you alright," Tamyra told him as she stormed on stage with Holly and Marina close behind.
"Yeah, and we're drawing the line!" Holly yelled, getting ready to smack him with her copy of Twilight, until she realized what it was, then started petting it, whispering her apologies.
"You can't keep doing this to these people," Marina commented, looking angriest of all. "Especially to these animals! First the wasp, then the jellyfish, then the shark that Herbie had to bite, then the crab that Zoey had to step on, then the pig that Owen had to wrestle…" She looked down at her feet. "Poor thing didn't stand a chance…."
"I'm not exactly a pro wrestler, so I just did a move that I know best…" Owen happily laughed, then rubbed his belly. "Oinkers was tasty…"
"You could get sued for harming those animals, you know," Marina told him, glaring.
"Nope, I really can't." He pulled out a giant stack of papers, tossing them to Tamyra, who almost fell down from the weight. "Those critters all signed medical waivers, saying I wasn't responsible for any harm that came to them… Or if they got eaten." The girls looked through the documents, seeing almost all of them littered with paw, tentacle, hoof, stinger, fin, and claw prints, right where the signatures should have been. "Their little animal lawyers can't touch me!"
"… Crap." Tamyra mumbled, thrusting the papers back into his hands. "Guess he's got us beat." All three walked off stage to retrieve the cage. They returned almost immediately, rolling the cage back into it's place. Eva, who had never been released due to fear that she'd attack the first person she could get her hands on, was madder than ever. The recently added bear actually looked scared of her. Not to mention the wasp, who was hiding behind the bear to protect itself from scary Eva.
Zack took a deep breath, steadily walking over to the cage, which Chris eagerly stood by, ready to open the cage door. Sweat was clearly visible on his face, and his expression further proved his obvious fright. Selena looked very freaked out, too. She couldn't even watch, having to bury her face in Geoff's arm.
Just after Chris opened the door, a wild cry echoed throughout the amphitheater. A familiar cry.
Izzy came bursting the curtains, ripping them off the rod and dropping them on Chris and Zack so they both disappeared from sight. An unconscious Mia was tossed on one shoulder, a still jittery Jamal on the other, which was a miracle considering his muscle mass made him over twice her size.
The redhead flung Jamal into the cage and slammed the door shut. "Brought him back!" She let out a Tarzan-like cry, thumped on her chest with her free hand, and added, "Now, I have a paralyzed meanie to help!" She tipped her camouflage hat at the others, and raced off without another word.
Jamal stood up, rubbing his head that had been hit during the fling. He looked at his cage mates, Eva and the bear, who both growled at him, striking menacing poses. "Oh…" He waved coolly. "Hi."
The wasp slowly peeked out from behind the bear's back, and the weight-lifter's eyes widened. He screamed, rattling the cage bars furiously. "LEMME OUT OF HERE!"
Zack removed the curtain, watching and flinching as Jamal quickly got attacked by the three menaces. "To heck with this…" He walked to the Loser Stands, fearful eyes as big as saucers.
Duncan snapped his fingers disappointedly.
Geoff looked down, seeing that Selena was still burying her face into his arm. "Uh… It's over, bra. Zack chickened out. You can let go now."
She didn't budge. Instead, she sniffed his sleeve, let out a giddy sigh and, though muffled, said, "You use Febreeze, don't you?"
*T*S*R*
Chef slapped a bandage on Grace's butt, even though her skirt had already been put back on after her shot. As she gurgled in pain, a little more barf oozed out of the corner of her mouth.
Trent winced. "Ooooh, sorry, kiddo. I know that hurts… Must hurt more for you, though… Considering where it was given."
Suddenly, Izzy came bursting through the tent flaps, throwing Mia facedown onto one of the other spare cots. She had traded her hunting cap in for a nurse's hat, much like Chef's. "Don't die on me, dang it!" She slapped her on the side of the head, which made her yell muffled things into her pillow. "What?" Izzy flipped her over so she could talk more clearly, though her mental paralysis made her speech a little foggy.
"Ah sheid ah'm nod daad!"
"She's delusional!" She slapped her in the face and yelled, "Breaker-breaker! 10-4, good buddy!"
"Wud ur yew dalging abood? Dad'z drugger dalg, fweag!"
The psycho shook her wildly and screamed, "Mi gato está hecho de orina! Me gusta poner en mi ropa interior panqueques!"
"What the Sam heck is goin' on around here?" Chef stormed over to the two and Izzy dropped Mia back on the cot, facedown again. Trent watched curiously from a distance, while Grace continued to leak her bile.
"Somebody accidentally shot Mia in the back of the head," Izzy explained, poorly trying to hide the tranquilizer sticking out from the side of her skirt.
"Mmhmm. Let me see." Chef grabbed her hair and flipped her over, making her gurgle in pain. He inspected the dart sticking out of her head, nodding. "I see." He tossed her back down and started reaching toward the dart. "Okay, this needs to be done slowly… slowly…" His hand crept closer and closer, until he finally got a gentle grip on it. "Gently now…" Despite his own orders, he yanked the dart out quickly and harshly, causing a groggy scream coming from Mia.
He carelessly tossed it behind his back, causing another groggy shriek. "Chef!" Trent yelled.
"Oh, what do you want n-" When Chef turned around, he saw that the dart had landed perfectly on Grace's butt, jabbing the bandage. Her eyes were crossed and her tongue was sticking out stupidly. She was semi-conscious and fully paralyzed.
"Whoops…"
*T*S*R*
Jamal had finally been removed from the cage, and placed into the medical tent to treat his wounds an wasp sting. It was Keith's turn now. The skater boy walked up to Chris, who had taken off the curtain and was digging into both jars. He rubbed his left arm anxiously.
"Somehow, I was the only one left on our team," Keith explained. "I guess I had lucked out and gotten a bunch of easy things. But, hey, I've made it through seven rounds, how bad could the eighth be?"
Keith stared in horror at the bed of hot rocks right next to his feet, and the flame-retardant suit covered in raw steaks in Chris' hands. "Okay, put the meat suit on, buddy." He tossed it to him, still grinning. "Just roll around on the rocks for about fifteen minutes, until the steaks are about, say, medium well. And try not to burn your face. Or hands. The medical tent is already bursting at the seams."
Keith took one look at the rest of his teammates then flung the suit back at Chris and headed over to the Loser Stands. His teammates groaned in disappointment, and the Killer Bears cheered victoriously, rushing the stage.
"Dang it," Chris whined, looking sadly down at the meat-covered suit. "That was gonna be our dinner…"
"Really?" Marilee asked. "We lost a third time?" She paused, then threw her hands up in the air and yelled, "SERIOUSLY?"
Candace ran out of the stands, still in her bikini, and death-hugged the nearest teammate, which happened to be Cody. "Yay! We won!"
With his face practically crammed into her breasts, Cody flushed seven shades of red. "… Yaaaaaay…"
Cody looked around embarrassedly, then back at the camera. "Don't judge me…"
"Wow," Chris mused, looking at the Rabid Wolves. "Yet another loss. Why am I not surprised?" He got beamed in the head with Owen's chip bowl. "Ow!" He clutched his head and glared as the losers laughed at his pain. "Who threw that?"
Keith and Marilee, in the back of the group, high-fived. "Nice arm, Mar!"
Chris shook the pain away and turned back to the camera. "Well, there you have it, folks! Tune in next episode to find out how our injured pals are doing, who will be voted off, and if I'll become handsomer by the time we get back."
He grinned, until someone off camera, sounding much like Marilee, shouted, "Don't worry, he won't!"
Chris mumbled something inaudible under his breath and sighed. "Whatever. Just tune in."
Bonus points to anyone who can translate Mia's mumbles or Izzy's Spanish! :D