A while later I was starting to calm down, Caitlyn was still holding me, I wiped away the few tears left, then I looked at Caitlyn who gave me a warm smile, I forced a little smile too.
Caitlyn:' so what now?'
Me:' I don't know.. I thought about leaving camp but that way I would never see him again.. and I am not ready for that yet.. so I guess I will love him from a distance..'
Caitlyn:' oh honey.. I hope everything turns out just fine..'
Me:' yeah me too..' then I walk to the bathroom to wash your face, I stay in my room the rest of the day, and Caitlyn stays with me,I watch a bit of TV and Caitlyn tries to make me eat but I just don't feel like it. Now it is getting dark, and Caitlyn had to go back to her room, she kissed me goodnight and left. I laid on my bed, closed my eyes trying to sleep, but ended up thinking about shane and tears falling from my eyes, I miss him, I just wish he knew that I'll always love him.. that night I didn't get any sleep, I cried the whole night, and wrote for a while just trying to let it out, I was so hurt, and broken hearted, I just hoped he was doing better than me. I sat on my bed and suddenly I saw the sun rise, it's weird how time flies when you drift away to another world! I brushed my teeth and got dressed, I wore a green t-shirt that said 'I am a rock star!' and my blue jeans, I wore green because it reminded me of him, then I put on my cap and left my room. Caitlyn saw me so she came, gave me a hug, I hugged back.
Caitlyn:' you didn't sleep, huh?'
Me:' what! Why are you saying so?'
Caitlyn:' because I can see through your make up! Your eyes are swollen mitchie!' I looked down.
Caitlyn:' just take care of yourself.. ok? For me!' I nodded, then we walked together to a new class, drumming class, I walked inside, introduced myself and saw the counselor, fortunately it wasn't shane, but unfortunately it was nate, shane's younger brother! I shook his hand and he smiled a little at me, then he introduced himself to the class, it was a fun class because it was so new to me! And nate was so passionate when it comes to music, just like his brother.. I ached whenever I remembered how shane believed in me, now I was back to the start line, alone.. without even realizing a tear escaped my eye, nate was staring at me.
Nate:' mitchie, are you okay?'
Me:' what? Yeah.. I am!'
Nate:' but you are crying!'
Me:' no nate.. trust me.. I am fine!' he dismissed the class, and as I was leaving he signaled to me to sit next to him, he was smiling at me but I had teary eyes so I was too busy fighting those tears to smile back.
Nate:' so mitchie, you won't tell me what's wrong?' I wiped away my tears and forced a smile.
Me:' nothing nate.. I am fine..' he put his finger under my chin and pushed it upwards to face him.
Nate:' mitchie? Come on! Tell me..'
Me:' nate.. can I ask you a question?' nate nodded.
Me:' how is… how is shane?' nate smiled.
Nate:' he is.. trying to cope mitchie.. but he is confused! Why did you break up with him mitchie?'
Me:' nate.. I REALLY can't talk about it.. just.. do you trust me?' he nodded again.
Me:' then know that I wouldn't have broken up with him if it wasn't for his own good.. nate.. I am hurting as much as he is.. if not more..' nate hugged me tight.
Nate:' okay mitchie.. just think about talking to him.. help him understand!' I nodded, but deep down, I knew I couldn't tell him. Then I walked to my room, Caitlyn was waiting infront of my room, she hugged me.
Caitlyn:' so what happened with nate?' I told her what we talked about.
Caitlyn:' I think he is right.. you should talk to him..'
Me:' Caitlyn! I told you before!'
Caitlyn:' but mitchie.. it is his right! Okay.. if you were in his place.. would you accept the fact that he breaks up with you without telling you why?' I sighed, because I knew she was right.
Me:' Caitlyn, I have an idea..' then I talked to her for a while about my plan, then we headed to mr. brown's office and asked him for permission, he gave it to us!
That night I was getting dressed in my room, I wore a pink dress with black heels and you curled your hair and put a little bit of makeup, you walked out of your room and headed towards the lake.
Caitlyn to shane:' shane come with me quickly!'
Shane:' Caitlyn I am not in the mood, I want to sleep!'
Caitlyn:' shane.. it is something important! Come on!' then she pulled him after her to where the whole camp was, at the lake. Shane saw lights, sound system, and a stage, he wasn't sure what was happening! Then he saw me going up the stage..
Me:' ummm… well… it is the first time for me.. on a stage.. so.. it isn't easy.. I just came here for a really special person to me.. only for him did I face my worst fear and came up on the stage.. I just.. I need to explain..' then I turned to the band and whispered something to them, nate and Jason were with me on stage too, I was shaking, I opened my mouth and no words came out, I looked at nate who smiled at me and nodded, then I saw cailyn, who gave me her warm smile that always gave me strength, then I looked at shane, I missed him! I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes.
Me:' I know you don't understand..
I know.. you feel confused..
But I had to choose..
I .. never meant to break your heart..
Never wanted us to be.. apart
But now we took our separate ways
But I'll never forget your gaze
I'll never forget
And I don't regret!
So everytime I look up at the sky
And see our star shining in the night
I'll remember you.. you pulled me through
And I'll make another wish upon it
I just want you to know..
That.. I'll always love you
But you have to go your own way
And I can never stay
I never meant to let you go..
I never meant to put out your glow..
And.. I am sorry.. if I broke your heart
But in my heart.. there will always be your part
Just keep on singing
Just keep on believing!
And try to remember
Your smile so tender
I'll never forget
And I don't regret
So get ready.. get set
Now.. go..
Now… go..' when I finished the song I was almost crying, so I looked at shane who also had teary eyes, then I ran off the stage and Caitlyn caught me and took me to my room.