Thank you everyone who gave my new story a chance and to those who took the time to read it and then tell me your thoughts. I really appreciate hearing your thoughts.
Much love and many hugs go out to my amazing beta Dawn. Thank you bb, xo.
I don't own Twilight.
Chapter 2
I released a huge sigh the moment the wheels touched down on the runway at SeaTac. I was never one who enjoyed flying; the seats were always uncomfortable with not enough leg room and my back ached afterwards. Even if I wanted to sleep, I couldn't because there was a screaming child. To pass the hours, I read a new Nora Roberts book.
Once inside the gate, I sent off a couple text messages, letting people know I had landed safely; I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I then rolled my bag to baggage claim and pick up area. The airport was quite busy with people who I assumed were getting an early start on the Thanksgiving travel.
If only that was the reason why I had spent the morning traveling instead of getting ready for work.
Alice told me she'd be waiting. I thought it'd be a little difficult to find my short friend, but I was wrong. Above the crowd, I saw the black haired, petite woman standing on some chairs, waving her hand wildly. I shook my head and waved back as I headed in her direction.
I watched her jump down and swiftly make her way through the people towards me. Her eyes were already watery.
"Please don't, Alice. I don't want to cry anymore," I murmured, hugging her.
"I'm actually crying about your appearance. You look like shit. Did you get any sleep?"
I looked down at my oversized, old, ratty sweatshirt, yoga pants and UGGs before chuckling a little at her comment. I welcomed the little bit of humor she provided. If everyone around me was going to act sad, sympathetic and worried, I'd be having an emotional breakdown by the end of the day.
"Oh, Gidge, what am I going to do with you?" Alice asked, shaking her head with a slight smile.
Besides the smile, I knew she wasn't really upset since she used my childhood nickname.
Alice, Rosalie, Angela and I each had one. We would use them to write notes to each other in school so no one would know what or who we were talking about. We chose our names based on our favorite classic movie character—Alice was a big fan of Audrey Hepburn as Sabrina, Rosalie liked the strong-willed Doris Day as Jan in Pillow Talk, Angela loved to sing along with Julie Andrews who played Maria in Sound of Music, and I always liked Sandra Dee in Gidget. I liked how she was girly and tomboyish at the same time. Eventually we began to call each other these names out loud and it just stuck, with other friends and family picking them up.
"And you wonder why I put up such a fight when you told me you were moving across the country," she added.
"I normally don't dress like this, Sabrina," I contested. "I wanted something simple and comfortable. Plus, I don't have warm clothes anymore."
"Well, I can help you remedy that easily. Just say the word and I'll be there with my walking shoes ready to shop."
"Thanks," I smiled hoping she'd realize that I wasn't only thanking her for her offer to take me shopping.
"Anytime and you know that's what I'm here for. Okay," she said, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Do we need to wait for any bags?"
"Nope, just this one," I pointed to the rolling suitcase.
"Okay, let's get you home. I know your mom is eagerly awaiting your arrival. I talked to her this morning and apparently Eminem is already getting on her nerves. She says he's being overbearing," she giggled.
"That sounds like Emmett. He tends to hover and overdo it when he doesn't know how to handle a situation. You should see the way their kitchen looks when he and Rose get into an argument. He keeps the florist shop in business," I explained.
She led me out to the parking garage and to her new red convertible Mustang.
"Nice car, Sabrina."
"Thanks. I got a bonus after this lavish party I helped plan, which covered the down payment. I figured it was time to turn in that old Eclipse and get something a little more stylish," she explained, popping the trunk. "Let's put your bag back here, there isn't much room in the back seat."
I threw my bag in and shut the trunk while Alice got in the driver's side. She was starting the car as I opened the passenger door. We were quiet as we exited and headed towards the freeway, the only sound coming from the radio. I leaned my upper body against the door, resting my head against the window and stared out at the passing scenery.
Alice was the first to break the silence.
"So, I don't mean to bring up his name, but does Riley know?" she asked, hesitantly.
When I didn't immediately respond, she turned to look at me briefly before turning her eyes back to the road.
"Yes," I sighed as I sat up straight. "He came over last night and stayed."
Her eyes widened and her mouth opened ready to say something, but I stopped her. "Nothing happened. He was just there for me, held me together, Alice."
"You know I'm just looking out for you."
"I know. He must be feeling really brave because he wants to come out for the funeral. Just because my dad isn't here it doesn't mean Emmett won't take his place with the rifle or my mom won't be there to give him a piece of her mind."
Alice reached out and took my hand in hers when she noticed my face fall at the mention of my dad.
"We'll get through this. It's not going to be easy, but I'm here for you. I'll be the strong one."
I squeezed her hand and then looked up putting a small smile on my face.
"So, when do you go back or you don't know?" she asked.
"I don't know. I booked a one way flight. I don't even think Charlie made arrangements or anything. I know he and my mom made out wills, but I don't think that information is there. Then there is Thanksgiving in a couple days so we can't do anything before then. I just, I just…" I answered, my voice starting to rise towards the end as the stress began to creep up.
"Okay, okay, calm down. Take few deep breaths."
I did as she suggested and felt some of the tension leave my body.
"I was just wondering because if you're here next Friday, I wanted to ask you a favor."
"What?" I eyed her suspiciously.
"Oh, don't look at me like that. It's nothing bad."
"Again, what?"
"My father is setting me up on this blind date with one of his colleague's sons. The only reason why I'm doing this is because my mom says the guy is really cute and charming. I know, I know, what has gotten into me, but I figure what the hell, ya know?"
"I guess. So, what do I have to do?"
"Well, I've spoken to the guy a couple times. His name is Jasper. I know his family lives in Forks, but you can never be too careful so I told Jasper I wasn't comfortable going on a blind date with just him. I asked if he could invite a friend and I would do the same. Turns out he has a brother who is around the same age or something. I was going to invite Angela, but if you're in town, I'd much rather take you."
"Um," I stated as I thought about the idea. Do I really want to go on a blind date after the week I'll be going through? Will I be ready for something like that?
"Can I think about it?"
"Of course. I'm sure that head of yours is just spinning out of control and you can't make sense of anything."
"Are you reading my mind?"
"No, I just know you, Bella. This is what you do. I mean when you and Riley broke up, you called to let me know but then you didn't answer any of my phone calls or texts for two weeks. You like to hide inside your head or behind some book. I'm telling you…you can't do that this time. You need to talk about what's going on in your head, even if it doesn't make sense. I need you to talk about it." Alice grabbed my hand again, this time entwining our fingers like we used to do when we were kids.
"I can't make promises, but I'll try. You just need to give me time to get over the shock. I still think this is all a bad dream."
"It'll be easier to process it all once you get some sleep, put your mind at rest."
"I hope so," I said, sighing. "Well,Dr. Alice, it's nice to see that your dad's career has rubbed off on you a bit."
"That's what happens when you're the daughter of a psychiatrist," she shrugged.
The rest of the ride we ignored the elephant in the room—or car, as it were—and talked about how her job was going. She animatedly told stories about some of the more interesting parties she helped plan or worked. She also asked about a few of the articles I had written over the past few months.
Turning down the street that led to my childhood home, I felt a wave of nostalgia hit me. The last time I had been down this road was a few months before. Charlie bought me a ticket to fly home to celebrate my birthday, which arrived a week after Riley and I ended things. My dad didn't want me to spend the day alone and miserable. He always made my birthday special without turning it into a spectacle—my twenty-sixth birthday was spent on the lake, fishing in the morning then a barbecue in the evening with family and friends, followed by a late night of playing Wii in the family room.
When we finally arrived at my parent's two-story house, my heart was beating a mile a minute and my stomach was in knots. I wasn't ready for it all to be a real. I wasn't ready to hear the story or see my mom cry.
Alice got out of the car first and went to the trunk to get my bag. I slowly took off my seat belt then opened the door and got out. I stretched and unconsciously looked around trying to decide if things felt different; they didn't. I was still waiting for my dad to open up the front door and say 'There's my little girl. How was the flight?' and then wrap me up in one of his big hugs that always took my breath away.
I felt the sadness start to seep into my body, looking for a way out, but I crossed my arms over my chest trying to keep it at bay. Alice, once again, took action, placing her arm around my waist and leading me to the front door.
I turned the knob and opened it, finding no one; the only noise we could hear was the sound of the vacuum cleaner. We ventured further into the house and found Emmett and Rose sitting in the family room and my mom cleaning the kitchen.
I walked up to her and waited for her to notice me. When she did, she didn't bother to turn off the machine before throwing her arms around my neck and crying into my shoulder. I held her as tight as I could.
"I'm so sorry, Mom." I repeated over and over.
"He was too young, Bella, too young," she sobbed. "How could this happen? It just makes no sense. I want him back. I just want my Charles back."
"I know, Mom. Me, too," I said as water pooled in my lids.
Don't cry, Bella. Stay strong. Your mom needs you right now, stay strong.
I rubbed Renee's back until she calmed down and we pulled apart slowly.
"How was your flight?" she asked, wiping her tears and sniffling.
"Long, tiring, the usual," I answered, leaning against the counter. "It was weird to arrive and not have Dad be there waiting," I mentioned.
"I had big shoes to fill," Alice added sadly, and then moved to hug Renee.
I greeted my brother and sister-in-law as they joined us in the kitchen. They both looked tired; there was so much pain in their eyes.
"Hey, Gidget," Emmett said, enveloping me in his warming embrace.
"Hey," I smiled, weakly.
"I see that you didn't sleep a wink either."
"Nope. Hey, Jan," I said to Rose, trying to keep the reunion as lighthearted as possible.
We hugged for a few minutes before Alice joined to make it a group hug.
"It sucks that we have to be reunited under these circumstances," I commented.
"If only our Maria could be here with us right now. Then the group would be complete," Alice mentioned getting us to laugh at our childhood nicknames.
Emmett broke up our reunion, suggesting we move to the family room to sit. While the four of us tried to get comfortable, Emmett got us all drinks.
"So, you're missing one. Where is Angela?" my mom asked, continuing the conversation.
I looked from Rose to Alice, asking the same question. I briefly spoke with Angela the night before, just telling her the basic information. I explained that I didn't want to get into anything over the phone, which she understood. I hadn't heard from her since, but I knew she had to work.
"She told me she'll be driving down after work tonight so she should be here by seven or so. However, she said if business was slow, which I doubt it will be, seeing as we are just days away from Thanksgiving, that she'll close up shop early," Alice explained.
"Sometimes, I wish I took her up on her offer to work together. Then I would have been closer these past couple years, instead of across the country," I mumbled to myself, but Renee heard me.
"Oh, don't start that, Bella. You know you wouldn't have been happy planning vacations for people. You would go stir crazy having to sit in front of a computer all day, just waiting for the next customer. Your job gives you the opportunity to meet new people, go on adventures and enlighten your readers," Renee said, basically hushing me.
"Here are some drinks for you all," Emmett said, carrying in a tray with five glasses of what looked like juice.
"Thanks, Emmy," Rose said, taking a glass.
I took a gulp feeling parched and nearly spit it out. It was juice with a lot of something extra mixed in.
"Did you make us vodka cranberry?" I asked.
He looked at me sheepishly. "I figured we could all use something to take the edge off."
"I won't deny that, but forewarn a sister next time. I mean, what if I took some meds earlier to calm the nerves?" I questioned, taking a sip this time.
"Did you?" he asked, raising a brow.
"Yes, Emmett, and I'm going to continue drinking this," I answered, shaking my head. "Of course not. I'm not that stupid."
"Okay, just making sure. You can never be too careful. I had to check with mom first since she takes that migraine medicine every now and then."
The room went silent, each of us taking frequent sips of our drinks. I think we would have been better off with shots the way we're going. Every few minutes, Emmett's phone would vibrate but he didn't move to answer it.
I glanced around the room, really looking for the first time since I had arrived home. The room screamed Charlie with Renee's feminine touches thrown in here and there. There was the brown leather couch that Alice, Renee and I were sitting on, the matching oversized chair that Rose was relaxing on and the old wooden rocking chair which was occupied by Emmett. The rocking chair was the only constant piece of furniture in this room.
At least once a year, Renee felt the need to move the furniture around and every couple of years, she would drag Charlie to the store to buy new pieces. Renee's family moved around quite a bit before settling in Forks when she was fourteen. Even though it had been decades since she last dealt with a move, she still had that constant need for change instilled in her body.
Charlie may have grumbled, having to pay for new furniture, but he did it because he loved Renee; plus she would always let him choose what he wanted, knowing he would get the most use out of the room. She would add a throw blanket on the back of the sofa and the pictures of Emmett and me growing up around the room. The focal point wasn't those pictures though; it was his big screen TV that got plenty of use between baseball and football seasons.
"I called him, multiple times and he never answered, which was unlike your father," Renee started, pulling me out of my reverie. "He was supposed to be home from work at four-thirty, but I didn't worry until a little after five. I know how Charlie can get bogged down with paper work or get to talking with the other officers. I called his phone several times over the next thirty minutes, leaving a voicemail each time. I remember the last message was really frantic. I finally called the police station at five-thirty asking one of the officers to take his route home. Maybe an animal ran out into the street and he drove off the road and he was knocked unconscious in an accident.
"I was antsy, I couldn't sit around and wait, so I decided to also make the drive. I grabbed the keys and went outside. That's when I saw the police cruiser, sitting in the driveway, empty. I walked around the front of the car and that's when I saw him. He was just lying there, so still and I knew he was gone. I felt it in my heart, but I couldn't let go, I had to do something. I screamed his name and ran to him. He was so cold. I gave him CPR, though it was useless, until an officer arrived at the house. He immediately called 9-1-1, and then joined me on the ground.
"I remember him telling me to stop, saying it was too late, but I couldn't stop. The officer had to physically remove my hands. He was so nice, it was one of Charlie's new guys. He let me scream and cry. He didn't leave my side until Emmett showed up. I'll have to bake him some cookies or something as a thanks," Renee finished.
"Did Dad ever mention having any problems?" Emmett asked.
"No. I know he was busy with end of the year paperwork, wanting to get it all done before he took two weeks off for Christmas and New Years, but nothing out of the ordinary. I'll have to talk to his doctor. I just keep thinking…what if I had gone outside sooner instead of waiting. I would have seen his car and went looking for him. Maybe I could have saved him," she disclosed.
"You can't think like that, Mom. It will drive you insane if you do," I cautioned.
"Yeah, Mom. You heard the coroner, he's pretty sure dad was dead before he hit the ground," Emmett added. "Hopefully by tomorrow, we'll have the autopsy results to prove that."
"Please, don't dwell on the 'what ifs', Renee," Rose repeated.
Renee nodded her head, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that those thoughts weren't going to go away.
"Okay, so I don't really want to talk about this, but what are the plans?" I asked. "I mean, I know what you want, but not him."
"Charlie and I didn't really talk about his wishes. I figured the three of us can come up with something. We have an appointment with Drennan and Ford Funeral Home tomorrow afternoon."
"Well, I know Dad would want it to be more of a celebration of his life than a sad funeral," Emmett commented.
"I agree," Alice seconded. "Charlie would want a party in his honor. He wouldn't want tears of sadness."
"Whatever we decide to do, it'll have to wait until after the holiday, most likely Saturday. Until then, I have some phone calls I need to make. If you all will excuse me," Renee said, standing up and walking towards the stairs.
We listened as she walked up each step, most likely headed to the office.
"How is she really doing, Eminem?" Alice and I asked in unison.
"Jinx," we said together out of habit.
"She slept on the sofa last night. She said she can't sleep in their bed. She asked Rosie to grab some clothes out of their room this morning. I haven't seen her step one foot in there. Their room smells like him, like his cologne."
"Yeah, I can smell it sitting in this room. I'm sure it's much stronger in there. Just sitting here, you expect him to come walking through the front door any minute with a cooler full of fish or a crazy story from his day at work," I added.
"Last night, when Rose and I stayed over, my mind kept fooling itself into believing that he was working the overnight shift and he'd be back in the morning."
"I know the feeling," I said, shaking my head.
"I don't know how she's going to stay in this house if she can't even sleep in the bed. Everywhere I look, I picture Dad doing something in that spot, saying something, and she has more memories than I do," Emmett mentioned.
"I guess we'll take it one day at a time and talk to her about it all once we get through this week," I replied.
"I will say this, Renee is always looking out for her kids. Even through the entire trauma of last night, she was in a way pimping you out," Rose said. "That officer she talked about, she asked if he was dating anyone and if not then her daughter would be perfect for him."
"Oh Lord," I shook my head as Alice laughed. "She did not."
"Yes, she did. Lucky for you, though, Officer Cullen said he was seeing someone."
A/N: Officer Cullen? Hmm...
I'm sorry that I wasn't able to reply to all of your reviews, for some reason FanFiction isn't letting me. Please know I read each one and I appreciate you taking the time to write your thoughts/feelings about the chapter.
Nicknames:
Bella-Gidget Gidget
Alice-Sabrina Sabrina
Rosalie-Jan Pillow Talk
Angela-Maria Sound of Music
I've already started work on the next chapter but not sure when it will be posted. For those that have asked, I don't have a posting schedule, but after next week I should have more time to devote to writing. I want to try for once every two weeks, but I'm not going to make any promises.
Let me know what you think by hitting that review button.