I hugged him, his body was so cold against mine, then I turned around and left the room.

Shane:' are you okay?' I didn't even answer, I just kept walking, not knowing where to go, tears streaming down my face, the picture of my dad's dead body never leaving my sight. I walked and walked with no destination, I walked trying to escape from the pain, trying to leave all that behind, but it was in my heart, I couldn't escape from that.

Suddenly I found myself in the graveyards, where Ashley was buried, I walked to her grave and fell on my knees right infront of it.

Me:' Ashley.. Ashley dad is dead… I can't believe I lost him too! I am so lost without him Ashley! Is he with you? Can you see him? If you can.. tell him I love him.. tell him I needed him.. tell him… tell him that his loss is too hard on me Ashley! I don't know how to go home without him there! I don't know how to sit down and eat without me and him fooling around.. I don't.. I don't know how to live when he is not alive Ashley!' I was weeping. I cried so much that night that I accidently fell asleep right infront of ashley's grave. I was woken by the sound of the morning, cars, people, life. So I rubbed my eyes, and then I stood up and left. Then I remembered, today is my dad's funeral! I couldn't miss it! So I ran back to the hospital hoping that I'd find any of them but it was too late, they were gone! Then I ran home, opened the door and called on her but she didn't answer, I didn't know what to do. I took out my phone and dialed shane's number.

Shane:' mitchie?'

Me:' shane, don't tell me I missed the funeral!'

Shane:' no mitchie! But where are you? We have been worried sick!'

Me:' it is a long story.. I'll tell you later.. where are you anyway?'

Shane:' at the police station..'

Me:' why?'

Shane:' we were worried about you.. so we came to report you missing!'

Me:' no shane.. come back home..'

Shane:' okay mitchie.. bye' then I hung up. I went to my room and changed into a black dress and put my hair into a pony tail, I grabbed black shoes from my mum's locker then I sat on my bed waiting for them. Then I heard the front door opening, I walked down the stairs.

Mum:' God mitchie! Are you okay?'

Me:' yeah mum..' then I hugged her tight.

Shane:' where were you?'

Me:' it doesn't matter.. mum.. are you okay?'

Mum:' I don't know mitchie… I don't… really understand..' I didn't understand either.

Me:' mum, when is the funeral?'

Mum:' oh my God.. funeral.. now we are preparing a funeral instead of a welcome home party for our girl..' then she pushed her chair into the kitchen and brought back some decoration that said "welcome home baby girl" that was what he called me.. baby girl.. I looked at my mum with tears in my eyes..

Me:' you were already preparing for it?'

Mum:' he was…' I turned around to face shane, handed him the decoration, and then walked pass him out of the house. I sat on the porch, shane came and sat next to me, he took my hand.

Shane:' mitchie.. I am.. beyond sorry… I don't know what to do to help.. you are putting yourself in a shell and shutting the world out.. I am here for you mitchie.. so let me..' I looked at him with a painful look.

Me:' my dad.. died.. yesterday… how opened should I be? What do you want from me?'

Shane:' calm down mitchie! I don't want anything from you! I just want you to open up to me and let me help you!'

Me:' open up? You want me to open up? How shane? How can this pain.. be described in words? How can I say how much I miss my dad? How shane?' he pulled me close into his arms and hugged me tight, I cried on his shoulder, he patted on my back and kissed my forehead.

Shane:' I am sorry if I am pushing you.. but it breaks my heart seeing you like that.. and I don't know what to do to help.. I am sorry mitchie..' he hugged me for a while more, then we went back into the house, to find my mum in the living room, watching TV while holding a picture of my dad.

Me:' mum.. what are you doing?'

Mum:' we were sitting here.. watching TV.. watching this movie.. when suddenly his heart stopped? And now… now he is dead? How is that possible mitchie?'

Me:' mum.. please… PLEASE don't do this to me.. I need you mum! I am losing you too and I can't take it! Please mum.. lets help each other get through this! But please.. don't let me face this alone.. I am begging you…' and I walked towards her and put my head on her lap and cried, she patted my head.

Mum:' you are right.. I am sorry..'

Me:' I love you mum..'

Mum:' I love you too sweetheart..' then I gave her a hug, and shane helped me get her to her room, she wore her pijamas and went to sleep.

I went downstairs and shane was looking through the window, but when he heard my footsteps he turned around and faced me.

Shane:' how is she?' I just hugged him, he hugged me back.. tight.

Shane:' we are working on the preparations of the funeral, don't worry..'

Me:' we?'

Shane:' yeah mitchie.. me, Jason, nate, Caitlyn, Margaret, uncle brown, barron and sander..'

Me:' I can't believe it.. thank you shane..' then I kissed him on the cheek. We sat in the living room, not talking, he just sat there with me, to let me know he was there, I was still wearing black, and no matter how many times I tried to forget why, I couldn't.. I was wearing black because I was getting ready to burry my dad.