That night I didn't get ANY sleep, Caitlyn slept over but shane went home to stay with his brothers and uncle, all night I was thinking about my dad, and all the promises we made, about my graduation, my wedding, my first child, my first job, and so much more. How come this isn't going to happen? I was still shocked by the fact that I won't see him again.. ever.
The next thing I know, Caitlyn is waking up, she rubbed her eyes and then she looked at me, I was awake.
Caitlyn:' mitchie.. you didn't sleep?'
Me:' no..' Caitlyn came closer and gave me a hug, then she went to the bathroom to get ready for the funeral, she wore black jeans and a black shirt with a grey jacket, and she wore black shoes too, then I wore the same black dress I wore yesterday, and the same shoes, then we were both ready. I went to check on my mum, she was sitting on her bed, with my dad's picture in her hand.
Me:' mum? Are you ready?'
Mum:' ready? I will never be ready to let him go mitchie..' I walked towards her, sat next to her on bed, and put my head on her shoulder.
Me:' me neither mum..' a while later she went to get ready, she wore a black suit, and a black hat, she also brought her black glasses to hide her swollen eyes. We walked downstairs and found Caitlyn sitting in the living room with shane, nate, Jason and mr. brown. I helped my mum sit next to them, then I walked towards shane, he hugged me tight, then I welcomed the rest of them.
Shane:' so we have 2 cars, mine and uncle brown's, jason's car is with barron and sander, they will take Margaret with them and wait for us there..' I nodded.
Shane:' whenever you guys are ready..' I looked at my mum who was looking down, I kissed her on the cheek and felt her tears on my lips, I wiped them away, then I took her hand and helped her stand, she leaned on me until we got to shane's car, we both got in, my mum in the back and me in the front next to shane. Caitlyn went with mr. brown, nate and Jason.
Nate:' so how is she holding on?'
Caitlyn:' she didn't sleep all night, her eyes are swollen from all the crying, she is really messed up nate..' nate sighed.
Mr. brown:' we have to be there for her and her mother.. no matter how long it takes..'
Nate:' of course! We are all they have got now..' Caitlyn nodded.
20 minutes later we got to the graveyards, shane helped me with my mum who could barely walk, and the rest of them followed us. Barron, sander and Margaret were already there, they hugged me then we walked towards my dad's grave, right next to ashley's. as they were putting my dad down into the grave I felt like I couldn't breathe, like my soul was drained from my body, tears were streaming down my face. But my mum… my mum was falling to the ground, I was barely holding her, she was weeping and screaming! She wanted to run towards him but shane and I stopped her, my mum was in so much pain. After he was put into his grave, we slowly helped my mum back to the car, she laid down in the back seat, I stood infront of the car with my back to it, shane came and stood next to me.
Shane:' I don't know what to say…'
Me:' just hold me..' he came closer to me and held me close. Tears were falling on his shirt. So he tightened his grip. After I cried for a while nate came.
Nate:' how is your mum doing?'
Me:' I don't know nate.. I don't know what to do..' nate hugged me.
Nate:' you are not alone mitchie, we are all with you..' I nodded.
Mr. brown:' mitchie.. who would you like to stay with you tonight?'
Me:' no need mr. brown, we are out of the hospital now.. so..'
Mr. brown:' mitchie we won't let you face this alone!' I forced a smile and nodded.
Mr. brown:' so yesterday Caitlyn stayed with you, so she must go home to rest today..'
Shane:' I will stay with her..'
Nate:' me too!'
Me:' thank you guys..' they both hugged me. Mr. brown drove the rest home, and nate got in the car with us, I sat in the back with my mum's head on my lap, and nate sat in the front next to shane. I was patting on her hair, and tears escaping from my eyes. Shane would look at me from the mirror, and flash a smile if I looked back.
15 minutes later we were at my house, I put my mum into bed, and went back down to sit with shane and nate, shane put his arm on my shoulder, and kissed me on the cheek.
Shane:' hold on mitchie..' I nodded, but when I felt tears falling on my face again I quickly wiped them away.
Me:' so anybody hungry?'
Nate:' mitchie…' he saw my tears.
Me:' no no guys.. please.. what do you want to eat?'
Shane:' peanut butter and jelly sandwich?' I nodded. Then I walked into the kitchen, I got the bread, peanut butter, and jelly out, I brought a knife and started making the sandwiches, I was crying, tears falling on the kitchen table, then I had a flash back, once my mum was out and I was with my dad at home, we got hungry, so we went to the kitchen we started laughing because we didn't know how to do anything! We ended up making a big mess! That day was so much fun! I missed him… so much… and as I was remembering I lost my concentration and cut my hand. I yelled in pain, then I threw the knife and fell to the ground crying. Shane and nate came to the kitchen running, they saw me on the floor with tears drops and blood on the floor.
Shane:' God mitchie! What happened?'
Me:' I can't do this! I need him!' I was weeping. Shane pulled me close into a tight hug, nate ran to bring me a wet towel, he wiped away the blood, then he tied a bandage over it to stop the bleeding. I was crying the whole time, with shane holding me. After nate tried stopping the bleeding, shane carried me to the living room, and nate cleaned up the kitchen and made the sandwiches.
Nate:' here you go..'
Me:' thanks nate.. but I don't feel like it..' nate bent on his knees infront of me.
Nate:' mitchie you have to eat.. you haven't eaten for days now.. you have to stay strong for your mum at least.. and for us mitchie.. look! We are all around you.. but we are scared to death of losing you! Please.. eat..' I took the sandwich and nodded. I took a bite, then nate smiled and so did shane. They finished up their sandwiches while I barely ate half.. but atleast I ate.