Hey guys
This is only a small chapter, It is pretty late round here, but either way, I warn you this is a sad chapter :/
Chapter 10 – Tiny Little Pieces
I lay there stunned.
He could have said a billion different things, maybe a joke or a comment about my hair...oh I don't know.
But, I love you?
My heart soared and the happiness that engulfed me was almost uncontainable, he actually loved me! But in the same moment, my heart sank to my feet, in fact my heart fell through my body and into the ground below. I had to leave him.
Without meaning too, tears started spilling down my face uncontrollably, no, this can't be happening, please no this can't be happening!
"Bella? Jeez Bella surely you're not that surprised...are you? Have I upset you? Bella please tell me what's wrong!" Edward flew off of me and tried to calm me down, tried being the key word. I simply couldn't control the emotions that were pouring out of me; I couldn't control the gaping hole that was starting to fill my chest...I couldn't...I couldn't...
I slowly sat up, trying to contain the sobs that were attempting to escape my chest, and looked up at Edward's panic stricken face. His eyes were full of fear and sadness, the worry of my reaction painted plainly on his face. I lifted my shaking hand up to his cheek and stroked it, feeling his smooth skin under mine. I knew this day was coming, but I didn't realise it would be this soon. I knew I loved him too, but if I told him, Friday would be the most painful day I would ever experience.
I had to make a sacrifice, and if that meant Edward didn't hurt so much, then that was reason enough.
This was going to hurt.
I took a shuddering deep breath and tried to put on a calm face. "Edward...," I swallowed hard trying not to cry. "We can't be together. I can't love you. I..." The look on Edwards face nearly made me stop right in my tracks. "You're the best friend I have ever had, but it has to stop there." I literally just felt my heart crumble.
Tears shone in his bright green eyes, as he sat down on the grass, his jaw set and nostrils flaring. His hands were clenched into tight fists and his arms were shaking under the pressure. What had I done?
"You...you don't love me?" His gaze was fixed to the ground as he spoke, his voice trembling a little. It was impossible to reply, the broken pieces of my heart ached and threatened to release all my pent up pain. You're doing this for him Bella, he'll move on from you, he'll find another wo... A few tears spilled out of my eyes, he'll be happier.
"Then what was that kiss? Was it fake? Were you just doing it out of g-guilt?" More questions I couldn't answer. Why did I think this was going to be remotely easy? I took one more shuddering breath and said ever so quietly, "Edward, promise me something?" His now red eyes stared up at me; tears were falling down his face freely. His voice was croaky as he whispered in reply. "Anything for you Bella."
I gazed at my beautiful Edward one last time. Eyes look your last; arms take your last embrace... "Promise me you'll be happy, and you find someone who deserves you more than I do. I will never forget you Edward...never." If only life was like Shakespeare and I could take a dagger to my heart like Juliet? It wouldn't hurt half as much as this. I turned my back to Edward, and with my crumbling heart and empty soul, I walked away from him through the forest, hoping to escape the emptiness that threatened to break me into tiny, broken, forgotten pieces.
"I love you too." I whispered. I had no idea where I was going, but why did I care? All that I ever loved or cared about was back in that clearing, and I couldn't go back there. I had to move on, I had to live, I had to forget I ever loved Edward Cullen.
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