XIII. Mistake 11—Eating Chocolate for the Wrong Reason

Things are back to normal. Not only that, this week it's Halloween.

Finally!

After this horrible month of October (due mainly to the idiocy of Sirius Black) I have found myself looking forward to October 31st at last. I was trying to convince Potter to hold a Halloween ball but neither he nor Dumbledore really liked my idea.

Apparently Dumbledore thought it would get out of control.

Potter thought my masquerade idea was lame.

Well, I would be more insulted, but Dumbledore said we'd still get the annual Hogsmeade visit, so that's good enough for me, I guess.

Anyway, the most surprising thing happened today. Benjy asked Marlene out.

I still thought he was dating Nicolette. Apparently I was wrong. Marlene claimed they'd been broken up for an entire week. Apparently I don't pay attention to the social hierarchy and dating chains here at Hogwarts and I should be more interested in everyone's business. That's what Mary told me anyway.

So now, it's just Selene and I going to Hogsmeade together which isn't bad, but she doesn't enjoy Honeydukes nearly as much as Marlene and I do.

This was my plan anyway until Selene had to come and ruin it.

"Lily!" Selene was beaming when she entered the common room. I'd been reading, avoiding my Defense essay for the moment, sitting in my favorite armchair by the fire.

"Hey Selene," I said putting down my book. Marlene had ditched me earlier, so I was happy to have someone else to hang around with. Ha. Little did I know.

"You won't believe it!" she said eagerly, "Guess what?"

"Er—you ate an entire chocolate frog on your own?" I suggested.

"No," Selene said giving me a weird look, "You know I don't even like chocolate frogs…but that's beside the point!" she said happily.

"Okay," I shrugged giving up, "What is the point?"

"Amos Diggory asked me to Hogsmeade."

That Hufflepuff prat? I almost said it out loud. Oh no. I'm starting to sound like Black.

"Er—wow," I managed.

Okay, I actually didn't hate Amos Diggory. He was just a bit…pompous at times. It's irritating after five minutes. Trust me. We had to be Potions in Herbology in fifth year. He was a total ponce.

"I know! I mean, I never thought in a million years that he'd fancy me—"

"Don't say that, Selene," I said, grinning, "You're quite the catch."

Selene blushed and sat on the arm of my chair, still grinning, "I'm just…" she sighed happily, "You know," she said, giving me a curious look, "If you ever did fancy Sirius, I wouldn't be upset if you dated him…now," she added smiling sheepishly.

Really? Is she really bringing that up now?

"You don't have to worry," I assured her. Urgh. Didn't everyone realize by this point that the whole thing had been a sham? Selene especially!

"Yes, I suppose James would kill him, wouldn't he?" she said, nodding thoughtfully.

Uh…well that wasn't really my reasoning behind it. The fact that Sirius is a complete and utter moron was my reasoning behind it…

"You know," Selene said thoughtfully, "I always kind of thought the two of you would end up together. In our fourth year, Mar bet me ten gallons that you'd end up dating James Potter by the end of seventh year."

"You bet on me?" I asked in shock. I mean, I expected that sort of behavior from Mar, but Selene? She didn't even have the decency to look ashamed.

I scoffed, "Well, you're going to be ten gallons richer, Selene. That's ridiculous."

Selene shrugged, "You know, I reckon if Emmeline wasn't in the picture, you two would already be dating. You know how it can be," she grinned, "cozy nights…working as heads…"

"You sound like Marlene," I commented sourly. Marlene was beginning to corrupt her. Great. Just what I needed—two Marlenes.

Selene just grinned. She was too happy for her own good, "Of course, I'm happy for Emmeline, that's all brill, and it's not like you even like James in the slightest—" I think I involuntary twitched at one point in the sentence. Selene eyed me unsurely, "You wouldn't…you don't…" she stared.

Uh. What?

"Selene…complete sentences would be helpful," I prodded after a few seconds of her staring at me with her mouth slightly agape.

"Nothing," she said quickly, standing, "I have to go find Marlene."

"She's probably stalking Benjy—" I began dryly, but she had already hurried out. Huh. That was weird.

Unfortunately, this also meant that my Halloween plans were ruined. I suppose I could hang out with Mary and Jasmine. Resigned, I returned to my book, not nearly as excited for Halloween as I had been.

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Saturday came and I found Mary and Jasmine getting ready.

"Lily, are you going to Hogsmeade?" Mary asked, grinning.

"Yes," I smiled back warmly, "You two are going aren't you?"

"Yes," Jasmine smiled, "We're going dress shopping. My sister is getting married in a few weeks, and McGonagall's given me permission to leave for a few days. I'm so excited! Would you like to come with us? I know that Marlene and Selene have dates…" she trailed off looking hopeful.

Just because of the hopeful face, I almost said yes. Then I got a hold of myself. Dress shopping all day with Mary and Jasmine? I don't think I could do it.

"Er—I'd love to but I told…uh…Remus I'd hang with him. Maybe we can all catch up after for a butterbeer."

"Wait, is this a date—" Mary began.

"No!" I said hastily.

Great. All I needed was people to think I was dating Remus. Jasmine giggled at my expression and shook her head.

"Alright then, have fun, Lily! Maybe we'll see in the Three Broomsticks," she said cheerfully before going back to her previous chatter about what color dress she should get.

I hurried downstairs, looking for Remus. He wasn't in the common room, so I made my way to their dorm. I knocked on the seventh year door and waited. Unfortunately, James opened the door. He stared at me in surprise. He must have just gotten out of bed because his hair was more tousled and unkempt than usual. He blinked at me through his glasses.

"Lily?"

"Hey James," I said, my voice a little higher than usual. Why wasn't the bloke wearing a shirt, "Er—is Remus around?"

James blinked again and nodded, "Moony! Lily's here! Er—you can come in," he said uncertainly giving me a look that I couldn't read.

"Oh, that's alright," I said quickly, "I just—"

"Evans?" Sirius had opened the door all the way, "Evans!" he cried happily, "Come in, come in," he said, pulling me in. James laughed while I scowled unhappily.

"Hey Lily," Remus said. He was the only one out of the four of them that was dressed for the day. Peter sleepily poked his head out of his curtains.

"Why is Evans in here?"

"I dunno," James responded.

"To see me, of course," Sirius said, smirking.

"Er—no, actually. Remus, I have a favor," I said, grinning.

"Oh no," James muttered under his breath.

I shot him a look, "What?"

"Nothing," James said innocently.

He's such a prat sometimes. I swear. I decided to ignore him and turned back to Remus, "Listen, so I don't know what you had planned for today—"

"You're asking Moony on a date?" Sirius asked, looking shocked and distressed.

Does he ever shut up? I thought dryly. Then I noticed everyone's reactions, and I felt like laughing but decided that would be highly inappropriate. James looks white, and Peter actually pulled open his curtains and stared at me. I just sighed deeply.

"No, you prat. Sorry Remus," I added. Remus just nods, looking relieved. Although, I really don't think going on a date with me would be that horrid. Come on! "Anyway," I said, shooting Sirius a glare, "I was kind of hoping to get out of dress shopping with Mary and Jasmine, so I wanted to see what you were up to? Just hanging out…you know, cause we're mates."

"What about me?" Sirius asked.

"I don't like you," I said, grinning.

"Well, of course," Remus said as we ignored Sirius' cries of outrage, "It's just Sirius, Peter and I today though…so if you don't mind hanging out with all of us…"

"Well, you know, I can meet up with you lot later," James suggested.

"Aren't you spending the day with Emmeline?" Remus asked, surprised.

"Er—well—yes, but I figure I can meet up with you later. She can come too," James said, shrugging carelessly.

"Brilliant," I said quickly, "Well, I'll let you finish getting ready," I said, willing my eyes not to look at James' exposed chest. Bad. Very bad.

Then I ran out of there before my eyes could betray me.

Oops.

Hogsmeade. Even with the Marauders, it's still enough to make me grin. It was pretty chilly out, so we went into Zonko's—Sirius' favorite store. It was taking him forever, so I spent most of my time joking around with Remus and Peter. I'd never really spoken to Peter much, but he's a bit of a laugh surprisingly. I think he's just shy or something. I suppose having friends like James and Sirius could be intimidating. I mean, look what happens to me when I'm only Potions partners with Sirius! My life turns into absolute chaos.

While Remus and Peter accidently set off dungbombs, I'm off at the other end of the store letting my mind wander. Surprisingly enough, I find myself wondering what James and Emmeline are doing, so stupidly enough, I ask. Remus and Peter had run over to me, chuckling. Peter's face was bright red, and Remus appeared to be choking. I ignored this little spectacle and poked Remus.

"So…"

"Did you see that?" Peter asked, his eyes wide. Remus laughed loudly, so I poked him again.

"What?" Remus asked.

"Nothing," I said. I took a breath, "Er—so…what do you think James is up to? He's with Emmeline, yeah?" Remus didn't say anything, "What do you think they're doing?" I continued after a short silence, "You know, on their date?" I pressed. Remus was staring at me like I'd asked him to prance around the shop naked.

"Well…er…I dunno," he said, "Why do you ask?" still wearing a funny expression on his face.

"Oh, no reason—"

"Remus! Look what I found!" Sirius said, bounding up, "They got in a box early—of the easy wet-start fireworks. A new prototype! Remember we saw the ad and they aren't supposed to be out until Christmas! They said since I'm a valued customer that I can get it a month earlier! Isn't that sweet? Filch won't even know what hit him! I'm sure they don't tell him when Zonko's comes out with new firecrackers!"

"Hey Sirius," Remus said, giving him a look that I couldn't translate, "Lily here was wondering what James and Emmeline were doing today," he said, giving him a sharp elbow to the ribs which I didn't miss. Sad thing is, I think Remus was trying to be discreet.

Sirius just blinked and began to grin slowly, "Ah…well, why would you care about such a thing, Evans?"

"It was just curiosity…you know, aren't you wondering what Selene is up to?" I said, frowning. It wasn't such a strange question—perfectly normal, actually, considering he's Head Boy. I'm Head Girl. Emmeline is my tutor. So why wouldn't I want to know?

"Not particularly."

"Or Marlene? You play Quidditch together and—"

"Fine, what are your mates doing?" Remus interrupted our argument.

"They're on dates."

Sirius frowned, "With who?"

"Marlene is with Benjy Fenwick and Selene is with Amos Diggory," I said frowning as I said it. It was their faults I was stuck with Sirius, Remus and Peter all afternoon. Though, truth is, I don't mind them. In fact, I find them all hilarious, but I'll never admit that out loud, I don't think.

"They're both prats," Sirius said decisively. I'm pretty sure his eyes had flashed at the name Benjy, but that might also be my overactive imagination.

"They are not," I said, shaking my head. Although, he might be right but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"Back to my question," Sirius said, "What do you want to know about them anyway? They're probably having a romantic evening…candlelight…chocolate…and…" he waggled his eyebrows.

"It's daylight, you twit," I snapped.

"Ah, true," he said, straightening up, "Well…shall I get the fireworks then? I think so."

I don't know what Sirius was getting at. Was James having a lovely time with Emmeline then? And were they really…well…you know. Oh goodness. I hoped not. They hadn't been dating that long, had they?

Oh no. But they wouldn't do that…at Hogsmeade…in public? Ew.

No. No. This couldn't be happening.

Wait, why did I care? I think because that sort of thing shouldn't be done in public. Yes. That's why it was bothersome. It would bother anyone whether they fancied Potter or not.

I don't, obviously. We're only barely friends. Not even that. Not really. I just pretend to be mates with him because it makes Emmeline angry. And really…where's the harm in that?

Okay, so maybe I should just abandon this whole attempt to ruin Emmeline's life. It's sort of backfired anyway. Instead of making me feel better, it's made my life a lot more difficult. You know what; I'm going to make a new resolution. I'm going to be nice to Emmeline from now on.

See? I can be a good person.

"Ready?" Sirius had appeared again. I nodded, following the boys who decided they wanted to warm up in the Three Broomsticks. They completely ignored my desire to go to Honeydukes. Er—hello? That's only the best place that's ever existed in the wizarding world! Hogwarts following in a close second…

"We'll get chocolate later," Peter said, "Besides, butterbeer is sounding much more appealing than chocolate."

I gave him a look of such disbelief that Remus noticed. He grinned and whispered, "Don't worry, I understand."

A fellow chocolatier! Thank goodness. I gave him a grateful smile. What is wrong with people like Black and Pettigrew? They have no respect for the goodness that is chocolate! Such a shame and waste to wizarding kind.

"Lily?" Remus was snapping in my face, "Are you all there?"

"Wha—oh yes, I'm fine," I said, grinning and pulling myself back to earth. We walked to the Three Broomsticks, but then I felt my feet slow down at the sight in front of me.

Urgh. Gag me.

It was James and Emmeline…full out snogging each other senseless.

That single moment seemed to last forever. I swallowed, remembering to breathe. My stomach didn't really seem all there anymore. It seemed to have dropped, hit the ground and shattered. Strange. Not my usual reaction towards couples, but I guess Potter is the exception.

"Oy, get a room," Sirius joked, breaking me out of my weird reverie. Thankfully, it broke their lips apart. Goodness. Didn't they need to breathe?

Remus, however, was looking straight at me. Like he was trying to read my mind. If he could read my mind, he would know that I was in desperate need of chocolate. Instead, he linked his arm in mine and pulled me into the pub. Great. Not what I needed.

"What are you thinking, Lily Evans?" he whispered.

"Er—what? I'm not doing anything!"

"No," Remus rolled his eyes in exasperation as everyone around us, noisily attempted to find a seat, "What are you literally thinking? I'm trying to figure it out."

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but Sirius cut between us, pulling me along, "What are you two doing? Whispering sweet nothings?" he joked.

Only Peter laughed. Both James and Remus looked sour. Emmeline just looked confused. After James and Emmeline returned with drinks for everyone, the confusion seemed to die down.

"What are you doing here Lily?" she said in surprise, noticing me for the first time.

Be nice. Be nice.

"I'm just hanging with the guys," I shrugged, "You know."

"Ah, Marlene and Selene were busy?" Being nice to her is going to be a lot harder than I thought. You know, I have other friends! Although…they are the Marauders, so I guess I could see the skepticism…but still!

Sirius was visibly scowling now.

"Yes, but we were going to hang out regardless…you know," I elbowed Sirius playfully, "We have history."

James spat his butterbeer out, and Emmeline let out a shriek as some of it sprayed her. Sirius looked at me in surprise before laughing raucously.

"You really are my new favorite, Evans," he said quietly with a wink.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get any ideas," I said, smirking nonetheless.

"I thought—" Emmeline began.

"She's joking," Remus said hastily because James' face was a bit red. Oops. Someday I'm going to really date someone and that boy is going to have a heart attack.

Wait. Never mind. That would imply that he likes me.

Which he definitely does NOT.

How are some people so daft when it comes to this subject? Aka Remus Lupin who is looking between us all with great interest.

Maybe James felt like he was getting back at me for the Sirius joke because all of a sudden he and Emmeline were once again all over each other.

Why? I have no idea. It's not like I would be jealous. Jealousy would mean that I liked Potter. That's just ludicrous.

Then why is it when he goes to kiss her again, I can barely register Sirius' comments about too much PDA because I feel sick to my stomach.

I don't want to just burst out of the restaurant, but my choices are becoming slim. That or feel like I might start crying. I'm just going to blame my hormones. This is not my fault.

It's not because I fancy him.

It's not.

I hope.

"Chocolate!" I cried, "I forgot the chocolate."

Then I ran. I didn't wait to see anyone's bewildered looks, or for Remus to stop me and make me face my fears like a grown adult. Sirius called my name, and I distinctly heard James explain to the table that I was a chocolate enthusiast. How did he know I loved chocolate anyway? Actually, I'm a sweets enthusiast in general but forget the particulars.

It's true. I need chocolate. A million bars.

I don't think I have enough gallons to buy the amount of chocolate I need to make myself feel better. Instead, I go and pick the largest box of chocolates they own. As soon as I purchased them, I opened the box, popping one into my mouth as I made the walk back to the castle.

Alone.

I am going to pretend I don't know the real reason I needed all this chocolate. Just so I can not totally loathe myself for one more day.

Denial isn't always a bad thing. Don't they say that ignorance is bliss?

A/N: Lily needs to come to terms with a few things, huh? R/R!