UGH MY LIFE SUUUUUUUCKS.
I've been soooooo busy, you guys have no idea. My computer's messed up and I can't even get on deviantart and grrrrrr. I really need to speed things up, and I'm gonna try to do that... Let's hope it turns out not-suckish. This chapter is a start... A suckish one.
"Welcome to Playa de Losers!" Chris McLean exclaimed, standing on the dock outside the fancy resort. "It's been a long week for our contestants, especially the losers, so let's check up on them, shall we?"
Once Chris was by the pool area, he walked over to LeShawna and Cody, who were at the tiki bar in the pool. "Hey, you losers enjoying yourself?"
LeShawna sent him an icy glare and Cody's glare wasn't any less icy.
"Whoa, okay," Chris muttered, backing away. "Somebody's PMSing..."
"I'm a dude!" Cody cried.
"Keep telling yourself that," the host mumbled as he walked over to Bridgette, who was comforting a gloomy Owen.
"Chris, go away," Bridgette spat. "You've done enough already."
Chris glared at the surfer. "Why are you people being such jerks today?"
"Because you're a big fat meanie face!" Owen yelled as he finally started to cry. Bridgette rubbed his back and pulled out a tray of marshmallows she had swiped from the buffet. He inhaled them immediately, but he did it with absolutely no joy.
Chris looked confused for a second, but he soon realized what he meant. "Oh, are you still whining about that poser?"
"Candace wasn't a poser!" Owen screamed, looking angry for once. "She was my sister and she was carrying my future nephew!"
Bridgette face-palmed. "Owen, for the last time, Candace is not pregnant with Geoff's child just because they held hands."
Chris was desperate to get off the subject of Candace, so he said, "Yeah, but Candace and Geoff sure were getting close, weren't they, Bridgette?"
"Yes, and then you ruined it." Bridgette gave him another icy glare and Chris just looked confused.
"Why are you still angry? You should be thanking me!" Chris threw his hands in the air and added, "I kept that lying phony away from the guy you're still totally in love with!"
Bridgette raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. "Must I remind you that I'm the one who broke up with Geoff?"
Chris rolled his eyes. "You're not over him."
"Um, yes, I am. That's sort of why I broke up with him."
"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt," Chris smugly said.
"I hate that saying," Bridgette mumbled. "It's so lame."
"You had no right to do that," Heather said as she walked up to Chris, looking rather peeved herself. "Just because she's adopted doesn't mean she's not a part of Owen's family."
"It's in the contract!"
"I've looked over it," Heather told him, pulling out a copy. "And I see nothing about blood relations in here."
"It was implied."
"You can't just imply-"
"Can we talk about something else?" Chris interrupted. "The nice viewers want to see how you all have been spending your time here at Playa de Losers!"
Izzy popped out from behind a lawn chair and said, "I've been looking online for a hit man to kill you in your sleep. There's not as many options as I thought there'd be." Izzy shrugged. "If Izzy wants something done right, I guess she'll have to do it herself."
"Would you morons forget about Candace? Nobody liked her anyway!" Chris screamed, crossing his arms and stomping his foot like a child.
"Everyone liked her!" LeShawna yelled from the tiki bar.
"Everyone but me," Chris said with a pout. "And my opinion is the only one that matters. So there."
"It's not just Candace we're miffed about," Bridgette said. "What about Selena? You just kicked her off because you didn't like her!"
"And you set her hair on fire," Keith mumbled, joining the group. "Not cool, dude."
"That was her fault!"
"It's her fault you shoved her down too closely to the fire?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow.
"... Yes!"
Everybody started screaming at him at once, until Chris finally screamed, "SHUT UP!" Surprisingly, they listened to him. "If I show you that your precious Candace is fine, will you people leave me alone?"
"What about Selena?" Zack asked, finally joining the group. If looks could kill, Chris would have been dead and buried just from one glance at Zack.
"What about her?" Chris looked confused. "She's probably in her room, crying like an emo kid or something."
"She never showed up last night!" Zack exclaimed.
Chris looked genuinely confused. "What do you mean she didn't show up? Chef said he brought the boat here last night."
"Did he mention that he was the only one on it?" Bridgette asked, arms crossed.
"So Selena's AWOL now?" Chris asked. After thinking it over for a moment, he shrugged and said, "That oughta save us some money in the long run."
Half of the group gaped at him like he was out of his mind. Even Izzy, and that girl knew crazy when she saw it. "Are you insane?" Bridgette exclaimed. "A thirteen year old girl, who was your responsibility, has gone missing and you're not even going to bother to look for her?"
"That sounds like a lot of work," Chris muttered, crossing his arms.
"Okay, ignoring the fact that you don't even care about the wellbeing of this girl," Bridgette began, looking angrier than anyone had ever seen her, "Aren't you worried her parents are going to be furious and sue?"
Chris shrugged. "Her parents are probably glad to be rid of the annoying little slu-"
Zack shoved him in the pool before he could finish insulting Selena. That earned him a few cheers and a round of high fives.
"Wait, he said something about Candace!" Owen cried, reaching down and pulling Chris out of the water by the back of his shirt. "You said you'll show us that she's okay?"
Chris spat out the chlorine water that had gotten into his mouth onto Owen's face and coughed for a few seconds before finally saying, "Ugh, I'll do anything to get you people off my back!" Owen stood him back up and handed him a towel, which Chris rudely snatched.
"How do you propose to do that?" Heather asked, looking skeptical.
After Chris' beautiful hair was dried off, he pulled a remote control out of his pocket. "Lucky for you wimps, I sent a camera guy out to stalk Candace at the airport I sent her to. One look at the Candace Cam will hopefully show you people she's just fine and dandy and get you all to stop assaulting me."
"You mean like how you assaulted my girlfriend?" Zack angrily asked.
Chris rolled his eyes. "You were only actually together for like five minutes. Don't get all high and mighty, dude."
He clicked a big red button on the remote and a flat screen seemingly came down from nowhere. There was static for a moment, but eventually, a picture of Candace talking to a ponytailed brunette behind a counter was visible.
"Candace!" Owen cried. "Please tell me you're okay!"
"She can't here you, big guy," Keith quietly said, patting him on the back.
Owen paused for a moment, then got closer to the screen and screamed, "CANDACE! PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE OKAY!"
Chris shoved him aside so the others could see that she was just fine. Unfortunately, they couldn't. Because she wasn't.
"What do you mean you can't put me on the next flight to Ottawa?" Candace desperately asked. "I have a ticket right here!"
The brunette took the ticket from her and looked it over. "I'm sorry, but this ticket is from 1998. And it's a ticket to Dublin. And it's not even for this airline. "
Candace, looking absolutely confused, took the ticket back from her and read it over. "Oh. I thought that might have been a typo."
Chris let out a scoff. "Moron actually thought I gave her a valid ticket."
"CHRIS!"
"Would you people stop yelling at me?"
"Would YOU stop being a gigantic meanie?" Owen yelled back. "Now what's gonna happen to Candace?"
"Watch to find out," Chris said, pointing to the screen.
Candace looked distraught, then tossed her ticket aside. "Look..." She paused to read the flight attendant's name tag. "... Emily. I've had a really, really hard couple of days. It would be great if you gave me a break. You see, I was on this reality show and the host didn't like me, or rather who I was, so he kicked me off and-"
"Ooooh, a reality show?" Emily clasped her hands together. "That's so exciting! Who was the host?"
Candace sighed, then told her, "Chris McLean. But he-
"I LOVE CHRIS MCLEAN!" Emily screamed, almost knocking the redhead back. "He is sooooo much hotter than Jeff Probst!"
Candace's lip jutted out in a pout. "G-Geoff..."
Emily shrugged. "Well, if Chris gave you the boot, then he must have a good reason. He also must have an excellent reason for giving you useless Poland tickets. It obviously means you're a horrible person and I do not enjoy horrible people. Please get out of my sight."
"No!" Candace pleaded as she tried to reach over the counter to grab Emily by the front of her shirt to shake some sense into her. Unfortunately, the flight attendant leaned back to prevent this. "Please, you don't under-"
"Nobody sees the Wizard!" Emily exclaimed, popping under the counter.
Candace stood there, dumbfounded and absolutely distressed at her situation. "Okay," she quietly mumbled to herself as she walked away from the semi-abandoned ticket check counter. she sat down on a bench near the airport's exit and continued to talk to herself. "There are far worse things that could be happening to you right now, Candy. You could be Miranda Cosgrove... Yeah. She's sort of weird-looking and no one really seems to like her..." Her fake smile slowly faded. "But she's also got a pretty good music career and the lead role in one of the most popular shows in Nickelodeon. She would at least be able to afford valid plane tickets..."
Candace looked down at her feet, trying to fight the tears building up in her eyes. "At least things couldn't possibly get worse..."
A random person passing by who happened to hear her say that turned to his friend. "Did she really just say that?"
The other guy, drinking a gigantic slurpee, nodded. "Yeah. Somebody needs to teach her a lesson."
The first guy took his friend's drink, popped the plastic lid off the slurpee, and threw the cherry-flavored contents in her face. "That'll show you to use a predictable jinx! Have you never watched a sitcom?"
The two guys stormed off, leaving a flabbergasted and very sticky Candace. After completely rubbing the goop away from her eyes, she slowly began to sniffle, which led to crying, which led to straight-out sobbing.
Before one of the booted contestants could comment or Chris could laugh, someone popped out of one of the fake plants by the bench and slapped a hand over Candace's agape mouth.
"Who's the gay dude?" Keith asked, confused. "And why's he trying to smother Candace.
Zack squinted his eyes at the short-haired blonde, but they soon widened after realizing something. "That gay dude is my girlfriend!"
And, after taking a better look, they were able to see that it really was Selena. And they were also able to see the rag that was in the hand she had placed over Candace's mouth.
At first, Candace desperately flailed in some attempt to break the grip Selena had on her, but after a moment, she slowed down. Selena quietly shushed at her, letting go of her waist to stroke her head with her other hand. She continued this until Candace's eyes drooped shut and she went limp.
Selena caught her and winced. "Ew, she's all sticky!" After getting over the stickiness, she got a better grip on her by grabbing her under her armpits and proceeded to drag her away from the camera's view.
To say the others were shocked would be an understatement.
"Oh my... What was that?" Heather shrieked.
Chris was not only shocked, but royally peeved. "Who does that little brat think she is, stealing the girl I banished?" He whipped his cell phone out of his pocket and started punching buttons in. "I've got to get somebody to take care of them..."
As he held his phone up to his ear, he looked at the camera. "We're done here. I don't feel like dealing with this right now."
"Wait, you can't leave!" Bridgette exclaimed, still a little shocked from what she had seen. "There's so much that needs to be answered! Why isn't the camera guy following them or-"
"THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE SEE YOU NEXT TIME," Chris blurted out as he stormed off to talk to whoever he had called.