I said what I could, then I left the stand, mrs. Taylor hugged me crying.

Mrs. Taylor:' thank you mitchie.. so much..' I nodded, then shane hugged me tight too. I sat next to him fighting the tears, trying to remove that picture of my dad and Ashley from my mind, trying to stay strong, but it was getting really hard. A few hours later the funeral was over, and shane was driving me home, I was sitting there, staring infront of me, I didn't even realize I was crying until I felt tears falling on my hands, when shane saw that I was crying he pulled over. He just sat there staring at me, trying to figure out what to do, he put his arms on my shoulder.

Shane:' mitchie..'

Me:' yeah..'

Shane:' what can I do?'

Me:' hold me?' shane came closer and hugged me tight, I always felt safe in his arms, I could let it all out, a while later I pulled myself together and we continued our drive home, when we got to my house, I left the car and walked towards the house, shane was behind me, suddenly 7 reporters or so blocked our way, yelling questions like " WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM? WHAT ABOUT TESS? HOW COME YOU SAID TESS WAS PERFECT THEN YOU SAID THE SAME ABOUT MITCHIE?" I felt like I was out of breath, it was getting really crowded, suddenly I tripped and fell to the ground, shane pushed them away and then he carried me into the house. He put me on the couch and took my hand which was bleeding, he brought me a wet towel and tenderly wiped away the blood, he was really worried about me. A while later we heard a knock on the door, it was nate, when he saw the towels full of blood and the scratches on my face and the cut above my eyebrow he ran towards me and bent on his knees.

Nate:' God mitchie! What happened?' I was still shaken up from the funeral, so I could barely talk.

Shane:' paparazzi man!'

Nate:' damn it! Are you okay mitchie?'

Me:' yeah… I guess..' but tears were escaping my eyes and I couldn't stop them, and I was always looking nowhere in specific, as if I am lost, in a different universe, as if I am here in body but not in soul, seeing me like that scared shane and nate, they didn't know how to help, or what to do. So as shane was cleaning my cuts, nate moved his hands along my face trying to make me feel that I wasn't alone, like there was somebody with me, who cares about me. But all I could see was paige.. Ashley.. my dad.. too many losses.. too much pain.

After shane made sure there was nothing serious he carried me to my room, he put me on my bed, kissed my forehead and left me. He went downstairs to find nate walking back and forth and looking really worried.

Nate:' there is something wrong!'

Shane:' I know.'

Nate:' what are we going to do?'

Shane:' I have no idea nate! But I think we need all the help we can get, so call uncle brown and Jason and I'll call the rest and tell them to meet us here'

Nate:' on it!' they called everybody and in half an hour they were at my house, shane made them sit in the kitchen which is the furthest room away from mine.

Shane:' okay guys.. today mitchie had an awful day.. she went to the funeral of a 3 year old girl named paige.. she had leukemia and died on the day on the concert.. that girl reminded mitchie of Ashley.. which made it even harder on her to know she is dead.. it is like her sister died all over again! Then when we came home we were attacked by paparazzi and she fell on the ground.. she ended up with a few scratches and a few cuts.. she is okay physically.. but emotionally.. she is not! No matter how strong she appears mitchie needs us around her! She is really shaken up! She is losing hope.. and she feels lonely.. she cries all day long guys! She seriously needs our help!'

Caitlyn:' you know I am in for anything that would help mitchie!'

Barron and sander:' me too!'

Margaret:' I am with you..'

Mr. brown and Jason:' count us in!' shane nodded, even though he tried to force a smile, he couldn't. nate made them juice and they drank while thinking of ways to help me through this tough time. A while later shane excused himself and came to my room to check on me, I wasn't asleep, I was sitting infront of the window, looking out at the world, trying to find ashley's star in the sky, and maybe my dad's too.

Shane:' why aren't you sleeping mitchie?'

Me:' I can't..' shane sat next to me on bed, and put his arm around my waist.

Shane:' why?'

Me:' I don't know shane… I am.. scared..' shane sighed.

Shane:' of what?'

Me:' of what I'll see in my dreams.. and then in real life…'

Shane:' what do you mean mitchie? You have nightmares?' I nodded.

Shane:' about what?'

Me:' I relive my dad's and ashley's pain.. I am back at their funerals.. and at the hospital with them.. I feel my pain and theirs at the same time.. I won't go to sleep..'

Shane:' but you have to mitchie.. you need to rest..'

Me:' I can't… I won't..' all the time I was talking to shane but my eyes pinned outside the window. Shane put my head on his shoulder, and then he laid back, so that we both are laying on the bed.

Shane:' close your eyes and I am with you..'

Me:' shane.. I don't want to..'

Shane:' I won't leave you mitchie.. until you wake up the next morning.. I won't leave you..' I nodded, then I tried closing my eyes, I slowly went to sleep. But as expected I had a nightmare, me, my dad, and Ashley, at the hospital, they are both screaming in pain and I don't know what to do, I don't know who to help, suddenly their heart monitors turn into a flat line I run to my dad to wake him up but he doesn't, then to Ashley, but it was too late, I yell and scream at the top of my lungs but no words come out, I open my mouth and nothing comes out. I was screaming in my sleep, sweating, crying, shane was downstairs with my mum and nate, then he heard my screaming, he ran to my room and kept shaking me until I woke up, he pulled me into a tight hug.

Shane:' calm down mitchie.. I am with you..' I didn't answer, I was out of breath. A while later when I pulled myself together but I was still crying.

Me:' I thought.. you said you won't… leave me..'

Shane:' I am sorry mitchie..' but I interrupted him.

Me:' sorry? You promised… and you left me…'

Shane:' I had to mitchie! Your mum…' again I interrupted him.

Me:' I don't care what is your excuse! You left me to face this alone! You always leave me when I need you the most!' at that point I was standing facing him, yelling while crying, and shane was looking down, I knew my words hurt him, but I was in so much pain.

Shane:' I am.. sorry..'

Me:' I hate you shane!' he looked at me, shocked, horrified, tears already forming in his eyes.

Shane:' you.. you hate me?'

Me:' get out..'

Shane:' what?'

Me:' GET OUT SHANE!' he stood up and walked towards me, he knew if he walked out it would be over between us, and if he walked out he would be proving me right, he leaves when I need him the most, so he kept approaching me and I was stepping away, then I had nowhere to go, I hit the wall, shane was standing so close to me, then he pulled me into a tight hug, I kept hitting him, kicking him, but he never let me go, I was sobbing.

Shane:' I am sorry mitchie… so sorry…' and he kissed my head. I cried into him for a while, then he sat me down on the bed, still holding me, he looked at me and he found me asleep, he laid back with me holding tight to him, and he kissed my head again.

Shane:' I will never leave you again…'