XVI. Marlene's Mistaken (Or not so Mistaken) Hypothetical Situations
Gryffindor common room party equals a Lily Evan no show. I have an inkling that Marlene will be a bit short with me, so I'm just going to wait here in the Hospital Wing while I think up a logical excuse.
"Miss Evans?" Madam Pomfrey had opened the curtain where I'd been hiding out all night, "Now, I understand that you have a…er…headache, but it would probably be best if you went back to Gryffindor tower," she said, frowning at me. I blinked at her and groaned.
"Owww…"
Madam Pomfrey didn't look quite like she believed me, but she sighed, "Let me fix up a little potion for you then, but if you don't mind me sayings o Miss Evans, you're being a tad dramatic," she said primly before disappearing to cure me of my headache.
Me? Dramatic?
I'm just horribly depressed which can, indeed, cause headaches. Besides, I need Honeydukes not a potion which was a unachievable endeavor. Who could I ask, besides a Marauder? No one. It was hopeless.
"Lily?"
To my surprise, Remus had entered the hospital wing. He was looking pale and sickly looking. I immediately coughed, pretending to be sicklier when he spotted me.
"Lily?" he asked, surprise evident in his voice.
"Hey Remus," I managed, my voice a little hoarse. (I think I could've been an actress if I'd continued on in the muggle world).
"You're sick," he noted, "What's wrong?"
"I—"
"She has a headache," Madam Pomfrey said, handing me a potion, "There you go. Now off you go, dear."
"But—"
"Mr. Lupin, just take your usual seat and I'll be with you in a moment."
Ah, right. Here I am faking sick when Remus is the one who's really sickly.
"Just a headache, huh?" he said, looking as if he didn't believe me. I just nodded vigorously, and he sighed, "What's wrong, Lily?"
"Nothing, just a headache" I said, blinking at him, "What else would be wrong?"
"Sirius was wondering where you got to yesterday. Marlene was throwing a little hissy fit. Then I saw you were here on the—" he broke off and cleared his throat and said instead, "I figured this seemed like a Lily Evans hiding spot."
How did he know?
"Don't be silly. I really was feeling ill. It was probably the cold."
Remus looked doubtful, but when Madam Pomfrey returned from her office she really did shoo me away. Grudgingly, I made my way back to the Gryffindor tower after pretending to drink her potion (I really just vanished it).
I didn't run into anyone important, so I decided to actually act like a normal human being and shower. I still hadn't really decided what to tell Marlene, so when she came into the room and spotted me, she let out a weird, shrill cry.
"Lillllly!"
"Hey, Mar," I said as I braided my hair. If I acted like I'd been here the entire time, perhaps she would think I hadn't left.
"Where have you been? Selene and I have been searching the castle for you. Remus said he was going to check the hospital wing for us since he had to stop there anyway—"
"Er—yeah, I wasn't feeling well. Horrible migraine," I said, making a face.
"So you missed the entire party?" Marlene asked, rather hotly. Er...yes?
"I'm sorry, but I really was ill...in the Hospital Wing. Ask Pomfrey if you'd like."
Marlene frowned, "What happened? You only 'get sick' when you're avoiding something. Like flying...or like when you were trying to hide from Snape last year…or when Potter used to stalk you, so you tried to pretend you had a contagious disease—"
Huh. I'd forgotten about that. A little ironic now that I'm thinking about it. I suppose this is fate reminding me that I lost my chance when he was obsessed with me for three years.
"I get it," I snapped, "But I can get actually sick. I don't have an impeccable immune system. Madam Pomfrey gave me a potion."
Marlene just laughed, "Yeah, that's because Pomfrey feels bad. She thinks your socially inept I'm sure, by this point. Who hides out in the nurse's office?"
"Plenty of people. Remus for instance."
"No," Marlene rolled her eyes, "That boy is usually actually sick. He, unlike you, has an awful immune system. I told him he needs to check it out at St. Mungo's. You know what he told me? 'Thanks for your consideration'. What sort of sappy response is that?"
"Er—a polite one?"
"You're hopeless," she said, frowning. Then she perked up, "Oh, but you missed it last night."
"What?" I asked tiredly. I did not want to hear if Sirius had gotten drunk and tried to transfigure Peter's arm into a lobster claw again. It wasn't funny the first time, and I doubt I would find the hilarity in it this time.
"James and Vance got into a huge row. Selene left with her and was comforting her all night," she added, rolling her eyes.
"Over what?"
"I dunno...apparently their relationship is on the rocks according to Sirius," Marlene shrugged. Both of us knew that Sirius wasn't always a reliable source, "But hey, you wanted to see her upset, yeah?"
Thanks. Make me feel like the awful person.
"You're the one who thought it would be funny," I reminded defensively, feeling guilty.
"Yes, but I've always been more bitchy than you," Marlene said shrugging, "Which brings me to my real question—what are you going to do about it?"
I stared at her in confusion, "Er—what?" Do about what? Emmeline being miserable? Nothing.
Marlene looked annoyed, "What are you going to do about it? This is your chance, Lily!"
"My chance for what?" I said, still looking at her stupidly.
"Are you daft or something? For your chance with James!" she snapped.
Oh.
I wasn't expecting the conversation to head in this direction.
"My what?"
Marlene gave a large huff, "Are you really going to play dumb, Lily? Fine. I know you fancy him. I'm not stupid. You and Potter are both the most translucent people I know, and I don't know how much longer I can take it."
This, of course, triggered the appropriate response: denial. "You're being completely—"
"Okay, okay," Marlene said, putting her hands up, "Let's just assume you like him…hypothetically speaking."
"But I don't—" I began.
"It doesn't matter," she snapped, "This is all hypothetical." I said nothing, so she continued, "Good. Now, hypothetically speaking, you like him. Firstly, this explains your hatred towards Emmeline considering you don't hate most people…although I kind of hate Emmeline too…but I'm not you," she concluded, waving it away "Alright…so then, perhaps, Sirius Black, who may have suggested the fact that you liked James on an occasion or two—"
"What?" I asked in outrage. This is what I get for ever making friends with that bloke.
"I thought he was a loon," Marlene rolled her eyes. I mean, I thought you two had lost your chance ever being the couple you're meant to be...after James got with Emmeline," she made a face, "They were so grotesquely perfect with each other."
"Thanks," I muttered dryly. Marlene smirked at me.
"Is this a confession, I'm about to hear?"
"No," I snapped, "This is all hypothetical, remember? It's all very, very untrue."
"Of course," Marlene nodded, "Hypothetical."
Sometimes, I hate her.
"So, then let's say Sirius makes a stupid plan to make you realize you love James while at the same time reminding James that he's always been in love with you and not Emmeline—"
"That is the most daft thing I've heard in my life," I interrupted, feeling exasperated. Sirius' stupid plan was coming back to bite my in the rear...again.
I was going to kill him.
Then Marlene.
Oh and hell, maybe Remus while I'm at it. He probably had a hand in this since he and Sirius seem to be conspiring together on this issue.
You know, with Sirius' track record, eventually, one of my threats will not end up being an empty threat. Then I'm going to end up in Azkaban. All because Sirius thinks he has the right to meddle in people's lives.
Shit.
"I can't go to Azkaban!" I said, interrupting part of Marlene's hypothetical explanations of how I'm in love with James. Psh.
"What?" Marlene looked at me strangely.
I ignored her, not bothering to explain. "This is stupid. There's no more hypothetical Lily Evans here." Especially when the hypothetical Lily Evans fancies James Potter.
"You're right, the real Lily Evans fancies James Potter," Marlene accused.
I didn't know what to do or how to respond, so instead I glared and grabbed my bag, "I don't have to sit around and listen to this," I said, brushing past her. at the door, I couldn't help, I glanced back at her. Marlene was crossing her arms, eyebrows raised. She didn't really look mad, surprisingly.
"Yeah," she said, "Don't come back until you can start spitting better lies, Evans."
I said nothing but made sure to slam the door behind me.
Crap.
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After that, I spent all of Sunday afternoon studying. I had come to a conclusion about a few things as I thought about how quickly things had changed this week.
For instance, I had realized that I might have a small, insignificant crush on James Potter. Inconsequential. Really.
However, I also realized that Emmeline will slowly bring me to either Azkaban or my own grave, so I think I'm going to put in some extra studying for our Transfiguration exam this week. Hopefully, that will show McGonagall that I really don't need a tutor, and that I can push Emmeline out of my life entirely.
Hm. Getting rid of James Potter is a little more difficult because for one he's Head Boy. He also lives in the Gryffindor Tower, so there's always the off-chance of running into him in the common room. Or in classes.
Drat.
Hopefully, he'll be too busy mooning over Emmeline to pay me any attention then. Yes. Problem solved, see?
Now I just need to convince Marlene that she's mad as a hatter and needs to straighten a few of her own screws. However, when I went to dinner that evening, I found that she was still being a stubborn prat about it.
The moment she saw me sit down next to Selene (she'd been chatting with Sirius), she coughed, "So, Selene, hypothetically speaking—"
"Shove off, McKinnon," I snapped before she could begin this conversation over again.
She grinned evilly, "What?" she is horrible at acting innocent. She turned her attention back to Selene, "Selene, hypothetically, what if I fancied someone?"
"Benjy?" Selene asked, frowning.
Marlene sighed deeply, "No, this is all hypothetical."
"Well you know, hypothetical situations usually mean real situations," Selene said, raising her eyebrows.
"Yes, well it isn't really me but a friend," Marlene pressed. Selene looked confused, but she shrugged and gestured her on. I just turned to my dinner, deciding I'd tune her out. Easier said than done. "So," she was saying, "Let's say his name is…Bob. I fancy…Bob. Of course, I'm in denial, so instead, I put all my efforts into making Bob's girlfriend jealous."
"Nicolette and Benjy broke up though," Selene said, frowning.
"Hypothetical!" Marlene was looking annoyed now. I stuck my tongue out at her, and she continued to ignore me.
"Okay, so I'm jealous, Bob is jealous. When Bob gets in a row with his girlfriend, don't you think I should step up and try to woo Bob?"
"I thought you didn't fancy Benjy?" Selene replied looking more confused than ever, "I thought your date didn't go as swimmingly as you'd hoped?"
Marlene let out a small cry of frustration while I laughed. Instead, she turned to Sirius who had been listening with a curious expression, "Please tell me you followed?"
"Yeah," Sirius grinned, "Well, I guess we could put you and Bob in broom cupboard…what do you think, Evans?"
Selene nearly spit out her pumpkin juice. I rolled my eyes, "You're listening to her too?" I asked in exasperation. Glancing around to make sure no one was in hearing distance, I bent forward and hissed, "I don't fancy him, so drop it McKinnon."
Partly true. I was on my way to not fancying him. I've never believed that you couldn't help who you fancied. I'm in total control which means this whole dilemma will be easily resolved in a few weeks. Hypothetically speaking, I could just go back to hating him.
Right?
A/N: I know, I know...Lily is being stubborn but still...R/R! :) After the next few chapter there should be more J/L interactions :D