Chapter XX- Mistake 16: My Horribly, Wonderful Mistake

Honestly, Sirius really knows how to ruin one's day. It all started after Transfiguration (doesn't something always?). You see, I had absolutely splendid news—I no longer needed Emmeline to be my tutor! After an absolutely horrid week, this was the best thing that could've ever happened to me. In fact, I nearly hugged McGonagall, but she gave me one of her stiff, stern looks so I sort of gave her a hurried thanks instead and ran out of there.

Marlene, being a decent friend (unlike Sirius), was very pleased. She was a proper friend and excited for me. After all, since our last run in, tutoring sessions were bound to be awkward (that or might just snap and hex her). As long as I keep up the 'E's and occasional 'O', Professor McGonagall thought I'd be prepared for my N.E.W.T.s!

It's relieving not to have to be tutored anymore. Although, I may ask Sirius for help occasionally—you know, when I'm not peeved with him (which is bound to be a rare occurrence).

It began after lunch on our way to Potions. Once again, I'm regretting ever being Potion partners with him, now that I think about it. Anyway, I don't know where Marlene went off to—she dreads Potions ever class period since she no longer fancies Benjy. They're still partners, and he keeps trying to hit it off with her apparently. She said the cold shoulder is not very successful when it comes to that bloke.

Well, you see, I was in Potions early which isn't unusual for me, but it was unusual for Sirius Black. I should've known then that he was going to be a prat. Sirius is never on time for any class on a good day—why would he ever be early?

"Hello love," he said, watching me place my things down.

"Hello Sirius," I said brightly, "You're early," I noted.

He didn't say anything as I sat down, and then I realized how quiet it was. We were the only ones in the dreaded classroom. Brilliant. Alone with Sirius Black. I was just asking for it, wasn't I?

No, don't worry. It's not like he was going to do something totally stupid—like trying to snog me again (that worked out so well last time). Instead, he decided to get his knickers in a twist after finally talking to me. I still haven't worked out why. None of this is any of his business anyway.

"I'm on your side you know," he said out of the blue.

"My side of what?" I asked, giving him a blank look.

"You know," he said, looking exasperated. I frowned slightly.

"Did James tell you?" I demanded. Great. Now Emmeline had gone blabbing to James about me. I'm sure she twisted the story into something horrible too.

Sirius frowned as well, "No. Why would he know anything about it? Nah, Marlene told me. Anyway, if you ask me, you should forget about Lovett and cuss out Vance properly and put her in her place."

Like I would ever take his advice. Please. Psh.

"Er—that's alright. Selene just needs time to realize she's being daft about all this, and Emmeline—well she very well can shove it—"

"You're just going to wait around? Prongs isn't going to wait forever—you're going to have to do something—other than flirting with him occasionally. You have to tell him how you feel—"

"You know," I said rather hotly, "Everyone else seems so convinced of my feelings for James—except me. Don't you see this problem with this? Besides it's clear he's already done waiting. He's with Emmeline…and…well," I cleared my throat as Sirius continued to look skeptical, "They're in love."

Sirius looked at me in disbelief, but when it was clear that's all I had to say, he said, "You're joking."

"No," I said, frowning, "Selene told me, and it's really not fair because I don't love him—I mean, love is a big deal, and if they're happy—" I muttered depressingly.

"James isn't happy!" Sirius shouted. I became very thankful for the empty classroom and glared at him properly.

"Shut it, will you? Do you want someone to hear?" I hissed. I mean, yes, I'd rather him not be dating Emmeline, but as furious as I was with Selene, she did have a point with the whole 'James-has-a-girlfriend' spiel.

"You're being daft, Evans," he said bitterly, "James is still in love with you—not Vance. You're being bloody ridiculous."

"I'm being ridiculous? I'm the only one being logical here! In fact, this is none of your business, Black—"

"Prongs is my business, and you need to quit messing with his head—"

"Will you quit it with those stupid nicknames?" I snapped in frustration.

He was quiet for a really long time, eyeing me uncertainly, "Fine. Maybe I was wrong about you, Evans," he said coldly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

Instead of answering, he got up and headed for the dungeon door, "Oy, where are you going? We have class!" He didn't listen but continued out the door.

Like I said, Sirius Black really knows how to ruin someone's good day. Instead of being happy about my freedom from Emmeline Vance, I was sulking over what Sirius had said. I didn't even take proper notes in Potions because of him.

I really don't know what was going on with Sirius' mood swings. I thought they were a bit uncalled for, personally. Of course, when I mentioned it to Marlene, she just sighed dramatically.

"Lily, when are you going to get it through your thick skull?"

I pretended to look offended, but she ignored me, "Lily," she said, "You obviously like the bloke. Selene is just a lying slut—"

"Mar!"

"What?" Marlene shrugged, "I know very well that James does not love Vance no matter what Selene might say. She just doesn't want to have to choose sides, so she thinks if she can stop you from fancying him, it'll all be better. She's wrong. She thinks everything is just peachy now because she's with Diggory—"

"What does this have to do with Diggory?"

"And just because I'm mates with Black she's convinced I'm going after what she could never have—"

"Is that what the two of you are fighting over?"

"Who I don't like anyway and if I did, I wouldn't sit around and do nothing—I'd just go and snog the bloke. It's not that hard," she looked at me, "A word of advice for you, Lily," she added, "Sirius is just angry because you're turning into someone just as hopeless as Selene."

"Wait a moment—" I began, feeling very confused and rather offended that she was comparing me to Selene's cowardice. This was a totally different situation—wasn't it? Besides, part of the problem was that I couldn't just go and snog James if I wanted to. He has a girlfriend! People keep forgetting this for some weird reason. Oh, I don't know why they're all convinced that James likes me either—

"Lily?"

Speak of the devil. James Potter was here to rescue me from my own thoughts. I couldn't decide if this was a good thing or bad thing. I half thought about running away, but I think he saw the signs. Marlene tells me I get a sort of frantic look in my eyes when I'm trying to run away from people. Okay, okay, maybe I am a bit of a coward. How did I end up in Gryffindor again?

"Where are you going?" he said, blocking my escape.

"Er—busy afternoon," I muttered.

"You're done with class," he noted as I tried to side step him again.

"Er—yes."

"Brilliant, care to go on a walk?"

"Uh…"

"Great!" he said, pulling my arm and forcing me along. What was he doing? I needed to sort out my thoughts before he tried to pull these sorts of stunts on me.

"Where are we going?" I asked, pulling my arm out of his grasp finally.

"Outside…c'mon, it's snowing!" he said excitedly.

Snow? I hated the snow, "I really don't care for snow…" I began hesitantly.

"It's the first snowfall of the year," he said happily, "We have to celebrate. Everyone's outside already." Everyone was outside? Oh dear… "You never join in on the snowball fights, either," he complained.

For good reason. Why would I voluntarily subject myself to a snowball fight? Especially one that involved the Marauders. I turned to ask this very question, but the look of James' face drowned my voice. I feel as if I told him I didn't want to partake in a snowball fight, he'd act like I'd killed his puppy.

"Oh, fine," I said in exasperation, "But I need to grab my cloak—"

"Marlene has it," he grinned, "She said the only way we could convince you to come was if I came and talked you into it. Apparently you and everyone else are on shifty terms?" he said, posing it into a question at the end.

"No, Marlene and Sirius are just being annoying," I said irritably, but I was fighting back a smile and James laughed.

I was sort of listening to him as we made our way out to the grounds. He was talking about...Christmas maybe? As we walked outside I realized how much I hadn't been paying attention this morning. Sure enough, there were white flurries falling and now there was a thin blanket of snow covering the ground, "This isn't enough snow for a snowball fight—" I began to argue feebly before being shoved to the ground by James himself as something else went whistling by my ear.

"I think they've already started. By the way—which team would you like to be on? Mine or Sirius'?" he asked, helping me back up. I scowled and ignored his hand, brushing the snow off myself.

Then, I tilted my head, considering my options. It would be great fun to throw snowballs at Sirius—

"I understand if you don't think you can compete with this," James added arrogantly, smirking at me widely as I tried to decide.

"Ah…I was wondering when I'd see the conceited prat in you come out again…"

"Hey!"

"It's on," I said with a sharp nod. He didn't reply but smirked as I turned around. The moment my back was turned, I felt icy snow on the back of my neck. I couldn't help it; I let out one of those girly squeals and turned back around quickly, "James!"

He shrugged, tossing another one that I managed to dodge, "All's fair in war, love," he said before scattering off to another group of people. I assumed it was his side. I wanted to tell him that wasn't the right use of the quote, but he was already gone.

Instead, I trudged over towards Sirius who was yelling instructions at Jasmine who kept giggling about something.

"You came?" Sirius noted, sounding surprised. I ignored him, feeling rather irritated now that I had snow down my sweater. I needed my cloak. Sirius seemed to notice me shivering. A slight smirk appeared on his face as he summoned it for me, "Here."

"Where do I start? Do I just…" I bent down to make a ball of snow, "Can I just go throw it at James now? Wait—am I allowed to use magic?"

"Yes and no. It wouldn't be fair. We'd cream them," he said, chuckling. Pity. I'm sure there were a few charms I could've used, "Why are you so eager to bombard, Prongs?" he asked, "Lover's spat?"

"Not quite," I muttered, "Glad to see you're in a better mood," I noted, "You missed Potions."

"Slughorn probably didn't even notice," he said shrugging, "Just go throw your snowballs. You're infuriating, you know that, Evans?"

I shrugged and gave him a grin, not feeling that angry anymore. Instead, I decided I should go and…ahem…avenge myself. I spotted him over with Emmeline—of course she was on his team. I'd forgotten he'd have invited her as well. They were close together, Emmeline was talking in his ear—urgh. Whispering sweet nothings? I seriously hope not. So, I decided to hit two birds with one stone, and I aimed for the two of them.

Even I was surprised when I hit my target. It's not like I play Quidditch or anything. I don't have the best sense of aim or physical ability when it comes to sports. Hell, the Hogwarts staircases put me out of breath when I run up them.

I managed to hit them both in the face (which was an accident by the way), so they both turned around, looking…well wet and snowy, "Sorry!" I called, "A bit high!"

Emmeline looked absolutely furious, and James was laughing, "Nice hit, Evans," he called across teasingly, picking up snow. Emmeline must've said something, so he paused and I hightailed it out of there. I wasn't looking forward to being pummeled by our Quidditch captain. I have an inkling that James might be slightly competitive.

"Back so soon?" Sirius smirked.

"Yes," I muttered, "Where's Marlene?"

"Chasing Selene with a bunch of charmed snowballs."

"I thought we weren't allowed—" I broke off and sighed, "Right. This is Marlene."

"Yeah, well, you had a good hit," Sirius said laughing, "Did you see Vance's face? Brilliant."

"Thanks," I said, feeling a small surge of pride. I know, I know, it's just a snowball fight, but it feels good to beat her in something—like a snowball fight, "We need to win," I commented suddenly, my grin sliding a little, "I can't let Emmeline beat me at this."

Sirius looked amused, "Alright…I'm not complaining but please tell me you plan on doing more about this situation than beating Vance in a snowball fight?"

"No," I said, tilting my chin up, "You and Marlene can go discuss your ideas somewhere else—preferably somewhere where I'm not present," I said as I began packing more snowballs up.

"Hmm…maybe with James? Maybe I can convince him—although I've already tried. He doesn't believe me. He thinks the two of you will only ever be friends. He thinks Emmeline is his only choice—"

"That's a load of dragon dung," I snapped, "James Potter can have any girl in the school if he wanted to—"

"Except you," he noted. He looked thoughtful, "And maybe a handful of Slytherins," he added.

"You're hopeless—" I began. I was cut off by a snowball to the ear. Ow! Snow can actually be painful. I whipped around, ignoring Sirius' laughter. It was Amos Diggory who looked rather sheepish. I'm assuming he was aiming for Sirius otherwise he's seriously dead.

"Sorry, Lily!" he called. I responded by chucking a snowball at him. I missed. Eh. I guess I can only get lucky so many times. The rest of the afternoon turned out to be pretty fun. Sirius and Remus took control of our team (Remus was the strategist, and Sirius…er…I think he was there to keep everyone spirited). I can't really say who won or lost. I would like to say that I hit Emmeline about five times—she only managed to hit me twice. What does it matter if she can ride a broomstick? That sort of thing isn't important. Right?

Either way, by this point, the sun had begun to vanish, so we were all beginning to head in. I felt another snowball in my back, and I stopped, swiveling around slowly.

"Potter," I growled, spotting him. He walked, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself," he said, grinning sheepishly. Ack. If only he wasn't so cute when he grinned like that…well, that can't be helped.

"It's okay, I suppose since you're the one who convinced me to come out after all," I said, grinning.

"You enjoyed it?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was really fun. I've never had a proper snowball fight. When I was little, my sister and I would make snow angels and snow forts," I said, grinning at the memories.

"When the two of you got along?" he asked, a bit quietly now.

"Yeah…we weren't nearly as competitive then. Everything seemed much more simple…you know?" he didn't say anything, and I felt the fast paced babbling begin, "People are just more complicated now, you know? I mean, I don't know what to do about Selene. There was a time when we were all inseparable, and now we're graduating this year and growing up. Then there's…well…someone that I fancy, and I never know what he's thinking half the time, and it's all so confusing—"

"Lily," James was now too close again. I don't think I've ever been this close to him before—unless I was screaming at him. I think that happened once in fifth year—our noses were nearly touching, and he'd asked if I was trying to make out with him. I'd slapped him instead.

Now however…well, today was an entirely different story. I'm trying to remember how to breathe properly.

"You have no idea what you do to my head, sometimes, Lily."

I wanted to say he was preaching to the choir, but I'm pretty sure he would have no idea what that idiom meant so I kept it to myself.

"What do you mean?" I asked instead.

"You're…confusing as well. Tell me about this guy though," he said, looking serious, stepping back and linking my arm to head up to the castle, "He must be pretty brilliant if he's caught your eye."

He was being conceited without even knowing it. I laughed and shook my head, "He can when he wants to be. Other times he can be…irritating as hell."

James looked surprised, "Yeah, well let me know when he's being a prat, and I'll make sure he isn't such a git for you."

"That's okay," I laughed, "I've told him once or twice."

James paused, "Please tell me we're not talking about Sirius."

No one is ever going to drop that, are they? "No," I said tiredly, "It's not Sirius."

"Okay," he said, still looking rather bleak. He's looking bleak? He's asking me to describe him to himself! "So what does he do?" he asked, "Plays Quidditch?"

I nodded, "Yeah, he's alright," I said, smirking slightly.

"Ah, I'm better, aren't I?" he asked grinning. I just smiled, "Does he play for a house team?" he asked. I nodded slowly, "Which house?"

"Ah, well, we're getting nosy, aren't we?" I asked, pressing my lips together to keep from laughing. He looked annoyed but nodded.

"Okay then…well what is he good at?"

"Oh, well he's pretty smart. Not really Prefect or Head Boy material…well…I didn't think so at first. You know, I couldn't stand the bloke in the beginning. All I used to be able to see were all his faults. It's funny, you might have one idea about a person, but then when you get to know them, you tend to see other things about them that you might've ignored before. I guess that's my problem with people."

James lips twitched, "Yeah, I recall you doing a similar thing to me," he said, chuckling.

I was going to say something else, but then I stopped instead, looking up at the sky, "It's snowing again," I commented.

"It is, isn't it?" We'd both stopped walking, lifting our faces up to the sky. It was a perfect moment. I don't know how to describe it other than a feeling of complete calm, standing there in the dark, in the snow. I couldn't have imagined it any better…okay, well maybe I could (I mean we could have been snogging in the snowy darkness).

James was the first to take steps back inside.

"I'll always remember this," I said in a small voice, glancing at his face. He looked down at me, smiling slightly.

"Why?"

"Because…it was…it's one of those memories you share with someone," I tried to explain, "It's me enjoying the snow for the first time in years…it's…" It's you. That's what I wanted to say, but I couldn't, "I just will," I said lamely.

"I will too…but not for any of those reasons," he said. We had stopped again. I was beginning to realize how cold it was. It had been taking us a very long time to move indoors. We were nearly there—steps away, actually.

"What are your reasons?" I asked quietly.

"The person I'm sharing it with," he said, looking at me. He stepped closer, and I didn't move back. We both seemed to know what was going to happen before it did, but neither of us tried to stop it. Maybe that was my mistake. Or maybe it was his. I'm not sure anymore.

Our foreheads touched, and I felt my eyes close as he bent down to kiss my lips lightly. It was nothing fiery or deep. It was soft and simple and much too short. I opened my eyes, thinking that it was absolutely wonderful, but then, the noise of someone from inside broke us apart. We jumped apart from each other as Sirius opened the door.

"There you two are! Remus, Marlene, Peter and I are going to raid the kitchens—" he broke off, looking at the two of us, "Are you alright?" he asked, noticing our faces.

"Er—no, I'm not feeling well," I said, "I think I've been in the cold too long. I'm not thinking straight," I muttered, brushing past him into the castle. I heard Sirius ask something along the lines 'what the hell did you do?', but I didn't wait to hear the answer. I took off for refuge in the Hospital Wing. Perhaps Madam Pomfrey would be sympathetic to my plight. Merlin knows not many other people would be. Ah shit.

A/N: Took me long enough, sorry everyone. Maybe it's worth it? Haha. R/R! :)