Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 19: Why Me?

EPOV

This couldn't be happening.

Not MY Bella, not MY sweet, beautiful, caring, kind, friendly, innocent wife.

Not me, why me? Why?

Tanya had been put on probation since the day of Bella's crash and ever since then I have been sitting beside her bed – waiting, just waiting for her to awake from her coma so I could apologize for everything.

I was such a jackass – why hadn't I pushed Tanya away? Why had Bella believed I didn't love her anymore? So much that she sped right into oncoming traffic at the city's most dangerous junction – Melbourne Junction.

Bella's heart monitor's constant beeping had been the only thing to remind me that she was still alive and still there somewhere. I felt guilty and knew she had every right to hate me – but to end her own life?

The most heart-breaking part of all this was that I realised how strong and decent a woman Bella was. She had been strong (with slight episodes of trembles) during the early stages of us trying to conceive a child for months. She had pulled through the treatment with the chlamydia (which had now been vanished from both our bodies) and as well as believing me when I told her I wasn't going to leave her for Tanya. I missed her terribly. I missed how she would smile at me encouraging when she was telling me she was fine, how her face portrayed everything she was thinking, allowing me to get a faster preview of what her mind was saying to her.

I had taken to remembering how I had met Bella, how she had made such an impact on my life and aspirations. At hours at a time, I would sit down next to her and repeat them all to her from my view, even if I told her the same tale twice in a day – I didn't want her to feel alone. And more importantly I wanted her to pull through as I sure as hell wouldn't want to do what Daniel's parents did and flick the switch of her life off.

I attended Daniel's funeral a few days after Bella's crash – making sure that Alice and Jasper kept her company while I was away mourning another friend. I was asked to do a speech and I remember that when I did, the whole church had been gazing at me and they knew I was now experiencing the same as his parents.

"Dr Cullen?" Novella Tannins, Daniel's mother dressed in a black and silk elegant dress said to me, placing her hand on my shoulder gently. "Would you…like to say something about my son?"

I looked up to the African woman and nodded and when she turned away I sighed heavily. I walked up to the podium and cleared my throat softly.

"As some of you will know, I was assigned as Daniel's doctor during his time in hospital. I cared after him as if he were my own son as he was a very kind and friendly young boy. Even though he was only eight years old, before he fell into his coma, he had spoken with respect and kindly to me, asking how I was myself before asking what was happening to him. Despite his friends making him feel isolated I made him feel as comfortable and at home as I could at the hospital. He was a charming young boy who I shan't forget easily as he experienced what my wife is currently going through. So I take my hat off to him."

As I said this, I did take my short black hat off my head and raised it in the air. Although it had been a short speech, I felt like it had been enough. Novella hugged me gently as I was leaving and thanked me dearly that I had looked after her son while she and the rest of the family had abandoned him. I nodded gloomily and departed for home.

"Edward? Can you hear me?"

"Huh?" I said, jumping and whirling around to see if it had been Bella speaking. Unfortunately I turned and it was to see my parents and siblings staring back at me. I shrugged and turned back in my seat towards Bella – she needed my entire focus otherwise she'll never wake up.

I felt my mother put her hand on my shoulder and stroked my hair softly with the other. "Don't worry darling, she'll be fine." Esme whispered to me, her eyes resting on her daughter-in-law's expressionless face.

I couldn't take it anymore and completely broke down in my mother's arms. She and the rest of the family put their arms round me as I sobbed; heart-breaking sobs, shaking my entire frame and making me feel dizzy.

"I w-wa-want B-be-Bella to…to..w-wake up!" I sobbed, the tears falling so face a bowl in front of my face couldn't have even caught them with the speed they were racing down my cheeks.

Esme soothed me, sitting on the arm of my chair and cradling my face in her chest. Carlisle looked down at Bella and checked her heart monitor. It was a pointless effort, she could go at any minute and nobody would know about it.

They knew I was a wreak – the question was simple and yet very hard to answer : would I get over this?

Author's Note:

Oh my god! I am soooooo sorry guys that I have straved you of this story! I was just so in-love with the AliceInWonderland2010 stories that I forgot about you charming Twilight readers! Sorry sorrry with cherries on top! x xx

I know its short (not 1980s like ti was before sorry lol) but please I am trying to form a suitable storyline to carry the plot on - I mean whousl I end it and make another with Bella dying or anything? You suggest but I dont' like the idea of killing my main heroin in the story!

More EPOV? A view into the Coma-ed Bella's POV? Tell me and I'm sorr.

Rurple101 x

btw I have a FaceBook page you can join as a friend to get updates on sotires - link on pofile near the top somewhere..