Touch the Horizon
Chapter Seven: A Strange Reunion
By: Light of the Firefly
OOOOO
The first thing she became aware of, in the darkness between awake and dreams, was a pulsing sharp pain in her head. It was dull, but there enough to rouse her from her sleep. She pushed past it, forcing herself to shake off the fog and wake up.
Nanao groggily opened her eyes, meeting the white expanse of ceiling overhead. Her eyebrows furrowed, as confusion settled in.
She wondered where she was, and what the heck they had given her. There was the rolling feeling of a pain killer coursing through her thoughts, making her attention to details slower then usual.
She felt out the area, only picking up on her Captain, who must be close if her senses weren't too muddled.
She relaxed automatically at the feel of him. If he was close, all was well and she could safely slip back into the slumber that called to her strongly.
Her eyelids fluttered shut, and she pulled at the blankets to cover herself more. They were stuck on something, though, and didn't come up any higher.
Come to think of it, she did feel a dip in the mattress. Was someone on the bed?
Probably Captain Kyouraku anyhow, Nanao thought. The man had no personal boundaries after all.
Oh well, she thought fuzzily. Sleep claimed her slowly anyway. Whatever they gave her was nice, at any rate.
"Why would such a pretty girl read such boring material?" Captain Kyouraku's deep voice asked, sounding as if he were musing to himself rather then expecting an answer.
She snorted at him, as this wasn't the first time he had asked such a question. He was always swiping her books, and replacing them with either poetry or some awful, lemony romance novel.
"Maybe you should try a new taste in reading material yourself, sir. As your own collection is seriously lacking anything that qualifies as good reading material." She mumbled, turning her face to burrow into the fluffy pillow more. Snuggling down into the warm bed, she let out a content sigh. Sleep is what she wanted right now, not a debate.
But…She had the strangest feeling she was forgetting something. It washed from her thoughts too quick to concentrate on, however.
"Your awake." He said, sounding pleased. "And don't call me 'sir' it makes me feel like an old man."
She almost snickered at the age old argument. Her calling him 'sir' was always a source of his complaints.
Nanao heard a page turn, and her eyes napped back open instantly, accompanied by her adrenal glands kicking in.
This isn't right, this isn't…where am I?
She stared at the wall in front of her vision, afraid to look at the source of the voice next to her. She bit down on her trembling lip, as her focus sharpened. Her heart was pounding suddenly. Was she dreaming? Would she wake up if she looked?
"And you insult my tastes in books, too?" He chuckled, and something lurched in her chest at the sound. It was the familiarity of the noise, the easy feeling that went with the light hearted laughter that was his.
Steeling herself, Nanao turned her head, slowly as her headache still pounded, and her eyes traveled to the man sitting on the bed by her hip.
He was dressed in the same style of strange clothing that she had witnessed men wearing in the Real World. He looked very relaxed, not seeming uncomfortable by the fact he was sitting on a woman's bed while she slept. He had one of her books from the library in his hands, skimming over the page.
Nanao's heartbeat picked up another notch, she felt like she should either scream her head off, or grab him up in a bone crushing hug. She wasn't sure which, so she settled for staring at him.
He glanced over, flashing her an easy smile, before returning his gaze to her book.
"Theories of Electromagnetism." He quoted the title, making his voice sound like a stuffy professor might. "Honestly, how can you read this stuff? I don't even understand a single sentence so far."
She watched him silently, taking him in. His eyes danced with amusement as they looked over the pages.
Her eyes were wide, and a little wild. The memories of her last conscience moments filtered through her thoughts, and she tried hard to piece the previous night together. The effects of whatever drug she was on made it hard, and she felt the headache intensify from the efforts.
She mentally ran down a list of events she remembered. It had been dark when she left the Library, she had her books tucked against her chest, it had been raining, there was so much rain, and she was scanning the other side of the street, looking for someone, and…and….
She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, covering her face with her hands, and letting out a whimper.
This is a dream, this is a dream, this is only a dream….He can't be here.
She repeated the mantra over and over, waiting to really wake up.
"Hey, easy. Are you feeling alright?" His concerned voice almost had her come undone. She felt his fingertips brush her arm lightly. She was shocked to feel the sensation, as she was busy trying to convince herself this was a dream. She jerked back from his touch as if he had burned her.
"Are you real?" She whispered shakily, in a muffled voice. With tremendous effort, she moved her hands away and opened her eyes again. She met his as he hovered over her. They were wrong, so much darker than the deep honey color she knew so well. They weren't the right color, on a face that was his through and through.
"Of course." He said, his features were molded into a concerned look she knew well. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Don't be afraid of me. I'm not a scary guy."
He leaned back, worried he was crowding her by the look she was giving him. He smiled at her reassuringly, but got no different of a response. She was so still, staring at him with a nameless expression. Her little hands were white knuckled as she griped the sheets tightly.
Her eyes swept over his face, desperately trying to understand what was happening.
It was Captain Kyouraku, but he was subtly different. His hair hung loose, and was shorter. It was a darker shade, as well, hanging in thick waves that only reached his shoulders. He was clean-shaven as she had never seen him before, only a light five o'clock shadow dusted over his angular jaw.
"I didn't mean to startle you." He said quietly, sitting back more. She still didn't speak, and she looked so frightened he regretted being so close when she woke up.
"H-how could you not startle me?" Nanao whispered, the hint of panic coloring her voice. She shoved to a sitting position hastily, ignoring the headache all together. She scooted until her back was against the wall at the head of the bed, eyeing him in her stiff posture. "What…what's going on?"
He looked a little confused by her words, but only smiled again at her.
"Do you remember what happened last night? You were almost hit by a car." His voice was a tone someone would use on a terrified animal, she thought stupidly. She had heard that tone many times, mostly when he was defusing a bad situation. It was soothing, and had the desired effect she supposed. She tried to calm down a little, as he didn't seem like she would get answers if he thought she would bolt at any moment.
"Yes." She said, unable to look away from him now. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to be sure he was solid, and she wasn't going insane. Nanao fisted her hands tighter in the blankets to stop herself. "Am I in the 4th then?"
"The 4th what?" He asked, looking confused again. She eyed him warily, before finally glancing around the room. From the looks of the room, it had to be the 4th.
"Division, obviously." She clarified, starting to get an uneasy feeling. Something about him wasn't right. This whole thing wasn't right. There were too many little things out of place, all these little differences. The changes in his appearance, the way he talked to her. He was talking to her as if she were anyone else, polite and laced with humor. It was wrong, all of it.
It was him…but somehow wasn't at the same time.
She felt him out again, tasting the distinguishing energy flow of his spiritual pressure. It was his, it was the specific feel of his alone. It was weak, so much weaker than she had ever felt it, even when he repressed it tremendously. But it was still his.
What the hell was going on here?
"You were brought to the hospital." He said, calmly. He shifted slightly where he sat, seemingly uncomfortable suddenly. Nanao wondered if he had noticed the spiritual groping she just performed on him, but he seemed to relax again when she withdrew. The old him would have jumped all over such an opportunity to blow her actions out of proportion and insist that she wanted a piece of him for the next two weeks.
She waited for this strange version of her captain to comment, but he only shook off his look of confused discomfort, and continued on. "The nurse gave you something for pain a little while ago, while you were still asleep. Maybe that's why your having a bit of confusion?"
She stared at him hard then, unable to stop her jaw from dropping open a little.
"You think I'M confused?"
"Well, I figure your just a little out of sorts, waking up in a strange place with a strange man next to you. And the added medication probably didn't help."
Nanao was struck silent for several moments.
"Out of sorts." She echoed after a while, piecing together his words then. "Strange man…"
"Well, not too strange." He winked.
"Do…do you know who I am?" She whispered, as realization hit her then. The answer slid into place like a puzzle piece, and she was surprised she didn't catch on sooner. She wondered what kind of sick, twisted fate would bring her to this point.
"I would certainly like to." He said, grinning his blinding smile at her then. For once, it didn't make her melt, she was too focused on the enormity of her understanding.
It was all falling into place now.
"You…" She felt as if someone pulled a plug, as if the very life force was draining out of her then. She felt like a boneless heap suddenly, who could slip right off the bed and onto the floor fluidly. Feeling deflated, Nanao turned her head away from him then. "…don't know me…"
"Are you sure you feel ok?" His hand lifted as if to reach out to her, but it froze before he ever made contact. This version of him wasn't as touchy, she thought with a light sniff, he had some sense of personal space.
"Yes. I'm alright." She whispered hoarsely.
She couldn't face this. This was similar to having him die in her arms, this feeling. The lump rose in her throat so fast she almost sobbed. Nanao tramped down the strong, ridiculous urge to cry her eyes out.
This was a cruel, sick joke the universe was playing on her. If she had been somewhere alone when this realization hit, she would have completely lost control of her self. The thought of civilians being injured forced her to get a handle on herself a little, even now she had to struggle to reign in her blazing reatsiu.
He was given back to her. The one person she would have done anything to have back. The man she missed with every fiber of her being, and he was given back to her.
But…it wasn't that simple. It wasn't so cut and dry as to have him, with no strings attached. If only it were.
He didn't know her.
Of course he wouldn't.
He had been reborn to this world, a new man all together.
None of their lifetime together was in any parts of his memories now.
That man was gone. The one she wanted, and needed, back was gone. He had died, thirty odd years ago.
This was not HER Captain Kyouraku.
His soul resided in this new man, but not his memories.
He was a whole new person. He was human.
And this man never knew her.
She was little more than a stranger to him, sitting on this bed.
She didn't realize the tears ran hot down her cheeks until she felt his large hands on her shoulders. His touch made them come faster, and she felt like something inside her was cracking.
This is so unfair. She thought, miserably. What have I done to deserve this?
"Your not alright at all." He said firmly, when she feebly tried to push him away. She was pulled to his chest before she could resist, his thick arms wrapping around her too quick before she could move away.
As her head laid against him, the only thing she could think was that she should feel the warm expanse of his exposed skin. But this man wore his shirt properly, and all she felt was fabric against her cheek.
"Please…" She struggled in his embrace, but he only tightened his hold around her. It was ripping her in two, having to be in his arms again. It was the sickening sense of false hope that was killing her. The thought that this WAS him, when in fact it was not.
Exhaustion, mental and physical, made her movements sluggish, as her body automatically relaxed into him. She caught herself pulling him closer, instead of shoving him away, and cried even harder.
"It's alright. Whatever is wrong, it will be alright." He whispered into her hair, his voice soothing and honest. Her forehead pressed against his chest, Nanao slumped against him in resignation. Her tears were still silently rolling down her cheeks, but the sobbing came to a slow halt. His arm around her lower back loosened a little, when he realized she had quit fighting him.
This was such a Kyouraku thing to do, she thought sadly, comfort a woman he didn't know. He never could stand tears. A woman crying had him at her mercy.
It took everything she had not to simply hug back, to bury her face in his neck and breath him in. It was what she had been wishing for all along, another chance to see him, to have him, just for a moment. She had cried her heart out over the years, begging whatever deities were listening to just rewind time back before there was a world without Captain Kyouraku.
But her mind, her jumbled stormy mind, knew this wasn't the man she thought it was. It felt like him, and it was hard to fully convince herself that this was an all together new person.
She straightened a little, pushing back from his embrace then. He allowed it, but didn't let go of her.
Her watery violet eyes gazed into the deep, dark depths of his for several long moments.
Neither one of them broke the silence, and he somehow understood something important was being evaluated.
Her reatsiu wrapped around him of its own accord, and she saw the small shiver that ran over him with the action.
She wondered if he remembered her, even just a little. A foggy dream, maybe. As she watched him look at her, she thought she saw several emotions flicker through those new, expressive eyes. He was confused, but intrigued. He was drawn to her, his actions proved as much. She saw the intelligence he possessed, she knew he was still quick in his assessments by the way he studied her.
And then, there was a flash of something in those dark depths that almost took her breath away.
Somewhere deep inside of this man, rested the slumbering soul of her previous captain. It was a caged dragon deep inside, blindingly bright and powerful. A sleeping giant. She could feel the force of his locked up energy pressing against its confinement now that she found it.
Nanao leaned back from him, putting more distance between them. She wondered what he saw in her a moment ago during their silent exploration. She knew he had just evaluated her just as thoroughly and wanted to laugh. He knew her better than anyone, and here he was trying to figure her out.
She pulled back her reatsiu then, untangling it from his own embarrassingly. She was glad he didn't know about these things, because that would be an awkward moment. That kind of an invasion was rather personal. She caught the shifting in his reatsiu in response to her pulling back, as it swirled restlessly.
"Feeling better now?" He asked quietly, and she smiled tenderly back at him. It may not be the man she knew, but he was damn close. She realized how much better she felt, knowing he was alive and apparently well somewhere in the world.
Even if it wasn't in her's.
"Yes, much better now. I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you." She said softly, looking down to escape his eyes. "And thank you for bringing me here."
"No inconvenience." He waved off lightly. She glanced up, at the more serious tone of his voice. A heartwretchingly sweet smile graced his features. "I honestly didn't mind at all. What's your name? We haven't even introduced ourselves yet."
"Look, I-" She began, but the door suddenly slammed open behind them and banged loudly against the wall.
Captain Kyouraku was on his feet in an instant, putting himself between her and the angry redhead who had burst into the room. He wasn't in a fighting stance, rather a casual posture she knew meant he was ready for anything. More familiar movements. It made the lump rise again in her throat.
"Ise, Damnit!" Renji snapped, his face flushed slightly. She peeked around the man standing guard between them to meet his furious eyes. "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?"
OOOOO
Ah, Renji…tactful as always.
Ok, this took a while to get out and I apologize. I've been busy with a move, and all the joys that go along with that. If it makes anyone feel better, the next few chapters are done so they wouldn't take so long to get out.