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Chapter of title inspired by The Cranberries!

All or Nothing – Chapter 9: Linger

I spent the next two days in nervous anticipation of seeing Will again. Millions of thoughts flew through my head. What if he never actually wanted to see me, just wanted to apologize? What if he was with someone else now? What if… I saw him and was still in love with him?

I eventually had to turn my cell phone off since Kurt would not stop calling me. Tina told me at dinner that first day after she got off of work that Kurt had called her to express his concern, and she told him I was here. He threatened to drive up and drag me back to Portland with him, but she had calmed him down. Although she agreed that I should go back and give Blaine a chance before I saw Will, and possibly ruined things with Blaine, she understood why I needed to see Will.

Tina and I got drunk off our asses that first night. We watched a slew of chick flicks: Pretty Woman, Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, and, ironically, Sleepless in Seattle. Tina had failed to comment yet on my still being awake when she left for work in the morning. I didn't get any sleep while she was gone either. I eventually just left the apartment and went to a Starbucks to pass the time. I cursed myself for not bringing my laptop, but I decided to take my coffee and explore the city since I had never really been in Seattle, even though I had lived in Portland for seven years.

"You know…" Tina slurred towards the end of the night. "I'm still a bit pissed at Artie for choosing Brittany."

"Tina, that was years ago. They're not even together anymore."

"I know I know! I just… had to settle for Mike Chang."

"Mike is hot."

"He's straight, Finn."

"So? I can find him hot. Besides, I thought you guys loved each other."

"More as friends than anything. You saw how fast we broke up after high school."

"Yeah… seems the only ones who stayed together were Sam and Mercedes."

"I've heard they're having problems."

"Really?"

"Sam wants kids, and Mercedes is having problems getting pregnant."

"Why don't they just adopt?"

"I don't know. 'Cedes won't say."

"I feel bad that I've lost touch with them. With most of the club. You, Kurt, Artie, Britt, and Mike are the only ones I even really talk to anymore. Saw Rachel a couple years back when the Wicked tour came to Portland. It was awkward."

"We've all changed. Who would've thought you'd be living with Kurt?"

"True. But, he's my best friend."

"I can't believe he's been able to get over his crush on you."

"I know. But I made it a condition when he moved out here. I just don't find him attractive in that way."

"Don't blame you, honestly. You need a butch one."

We both laughed, and soon passed out together on the couch.

While Tina was at work the next day, I decided to go shopping for clothes for the dinner. I was shuffling through dress shirts at a downtown store, when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Finn Hudson shopping for dress shirts? Never thought I'd see the day."

I turned around, and politely smiled at the person in front of me.

"Quinn. Hi. What are you doing here?"

"Could ask you the same. Last I heard you were in Portland."

"Still am. I'm visiting Tina."

"Oh?" Quinn looked around. "I don't see her."

"She's at work. We're going out to dinner tonight at some nice place, so I thought I'd buy some new clothes. What brings you here? Last I heard you were in New York."

"Yeah, still am. I'm here on business, and thought I'd go shopping while I have a free moment."

"How is the cosmetics business?"

"Boring as hell, but it pays wonderfully. Considering I have to support Puckerman and two kids, I need the money."

"I can't believe the judge granted him alimony."

"You heard about that?"

"Lima grapevine."

"Ah. Mercedes to Tina to you and Kurt?"

"Yep."

"How is Kurt?"

"Fine. Still the same as always."

"Good. And you?"

"I'm good."

"Did you ever get over Will?" Quinn smirked.

I raised my eyebrow. "Why?"

"Oh, just wondering. Anyways, I have to get going. It was good seeing you." Quinn hugged me, and turned to leave. "Oh by the way Finn. I saw Will yesterday. Seems he lives in town. Strange coincidence huh?"

Quinn was still a bitch.

Tina got home late, and I was pacing the floor when she came in.

"Oh my god Finn," Tina said. "Calm down. I'm only ten minutes late, and we're not supposed to be there for a half hour!"

"But I know how long it takes you to get ready!"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Tina said, hands on hips. I let the conversation go at that, and soon we were walking to the restaurant.

We stopped outside. "Tina," I said. "Is this a good idea?"

Tina laughed. "Of course not. But you're here, so you might as well see him. Get over whatever this is that he has on you."

"What if he's seeing someone?"

"Then you'll go home and commit to Blaine."

"What if he's not seeing someone, and confesses his love for me, and I fuck it up."

"Finn, shut up!" Tina said. "Let's just go in there."

Turns out, Will was already there. When we walked to the table, I actually had to stop and stare at him. If it was possible, he had gotten even better looking. He seemed to have toned up, as visible by the tight shirt he wore underneath his leather jacket. He had shaved his head short, so the curls were gone. He had definitely aged well. Will was visibly surprised to find me with Tina.

"Um…" Will started after ending his hug with Tina. "Finn? Wow. Um. What are you doing here?"

"Finn showed up on my doorstep," Tina said. "He seemed to have gotten a phone call that prompted his visit. Do you know anything about that?"

Will glanced at Tina, but kept his stare on me. "You gave me his phone number, Tina."

"Hi Will," I said, finally getting the strength to come up to the table.

"Finn."

We sat down, but neither Will and I looked at our menus. Just stared at each other.

After Tina had sent the waiter away four times because neither one of had decided on what to eat, she sat down her menu, grabbed her purse, and stood up.

"Look. You two obviously need to be alone. I'm going to go grab a burger. Finn, the apartment door will be unlocked, and I'll tell the waiter to just bring you guys the chicken marcella, okay? Love you both."

Tina leaving was what finally broke our stare. I felt bad, but she was right. We needed to just talk the two of us.

"So, how have you been?" Will asked.

"Better than I was seven years ago." That was harsh, and I knew it. It just came out.

"You don't know how sorry I am."

"I can guess." We took a moment. "I am sorry I didn't take the call the other day. Just came as a shock."

"I don't blame you. I shouldn't have just called out of the blue, and really shouldn't have put Tina in that position. Sorry about that."

"It's okay. I just… when Tina told me she was going to dinner with you, I felt the need to show up."

"I've missed you Finn. I hope you know that." Tears were forming in his eyes.

"I know."

"I've wanted to call you. Wanted to see you so many times. When I heard that Carole and Burt had a baby, I almost showed up just to say congratulations, but figured neither your mom or you would want to see me."

"Kurt would've been pretty pissed too."

"Are you and Kurt…?"

"What? No!"

"Oh. I just… I thought maybe with his crush on you and with him answering your phone."

"We live together. Have since he graduated."

"Oh…" Will trailed off. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"No. Well…"

"Well what?"

"Kurt set me up with a friend of his. We've gone out on a couple of dates. He's the first since you."

"You haven't dated since I left?"

"No."

Will stared at me even more deeply. "I didn't realize I hurt you that badly."

"You did."

Will went silent, and toyed with his napkin.

"Are you seeing anyone?" I asked.

"No," Will sighed. "No, I'm not."

We took another moment. Will wouldn't look at me, and I noticed a tear falling down his cheek. I grabbed his hand.

"I forgive you, you know?" I said.

"You shouldn't," Will said.

"I know I shouldn't," I said. "Please look at me, Will."

He lifted his head, and our eyes met again.

"I forgive you," I repeated.

"I've missed you so much," Will repeated. I kept a hold of his hand. "Do you want to… go somewhere more private? I think we need to talk."

"Yeah. Where?"

"My place?" Will said, hopeful look in his eyes.

"Okay," I said, and we got up, never getting our food, and I followed Will, hand in hand, to his apartment.