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Dialogue heavy chapter!

Chapter title inspired by Vonda Shepard

All or Nothing – Chapter 14: Searchin' My Soul

The weekend was a painful one. Kurt called Tina down from Seattle, so that she could then lecture me about the love triangle I was in. I tried leaving the house, but Kurt and Tina followed me. They weren't going to let me forget that I had a decision to make.

Not that I could. Blaine was calling me non-stop. Kurt finally told him to stop. It was weird hearing Kurt get mad at Blaine. He told him that Blaine calling me non-stop was not going to help me make a decision any quicker, and that it may turn me off from Blaine. I couldn't hear Blaine's side of the conversation of course, but I could tell Kurt got his point across.

It was Saturday night when Tina came into my room. Without knocking of course. I was laying on my bed trying to ignore everything.

"Finn," she said as she sat down on the bed. "I'm sorry if you hate us right now. We just really want you not to make the wrong decision."

"I know, Tina. I really do. I just, I love Will. I think I could love Blaine. And I just… don't want to make a mistake."

"Exactly. So, let's make a pro/con list."

"That worked so well for Ross on Friends," I said sarcastically.

"You watch Friends?" Tina said to me. "Wow, you are gay."

"Ha ha."

"Okay well let's not make a physical list then. Tell me what you love about Will."

"Tina…" I groaned.

"I'm not leaving until we do this."

"Fine. I love his smile. I love his voice. I love his sweater vests even."

"Someone has to."

"Funny. And I love how when we're alone he makes me feel like nothing else matters. Like it is just him and me, and we can stay like that forever."

"And what don't you like about him?"

I sighed. "I don't like how I don't feel safe. Like I'll wake up one morning and that he'll be gone again."

"Well to me that's a big con."

"Tell me about it."

"And what do you like about Blaine?"

"He's gorgeous. But so is Will. Um… he's kind, although his little stunt last night didn't impress me. He wants me to be happy. He has been through crap similar to what I've been through.. He understood that I needed time and didn't leave when I freaked out on him. Everytime he touches me, I feel a spark"

"And does he have a straight brother?"

"Tina…" I groaned again.

"Okay okay. And what don't you like about him?"

"He has more experience than I do dating. So I feel like I'm some innocent little kid when I'm with him. He is aggressive, which I liked at first, but like with how he was aggressive last night when Will was here, it turned me off."

"Okay, so whose pros outweighs their cons?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed getting up from my bed. "It isn't that easy Tina!"

Tina stood up. "Okay Finn, don't freak out on me! I'm just trying to help."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like I have to make up my mind this weekend, or else I'm going to lose them both."

"And why do you feel like that?"

"I don't know. They both understood about letting me decide. But if I let Will leave back to Seattle, and I don't make up my mind, I feel like I'm going to lose him. And with Blaine, I think he might just find someone else if I take too long."

"So Will is just desperate and will never find anyone else?"

"He wasn't with anyone in seven years either."

"But you and Blaine could get together, and be together, and one or both of you might find someone else. And what if you get with Blaine, and you realize that you love Will more, and Will isn't willing to take you back?"

"But it could be the exact same if I go with Will."

"True."

"It sounds like you're telling me to go to Will."

"Well…"

"Well nothing Tina. When I came up to Seattle, you kept bringing up Blaine."

"I know."

"So what changed?"

"I saw how you were with Will, Finn. You are in love."

"I know."

"You're just scared."

"I know."

"Are you going to let fear rule your life?"

Just then the phone rang, and I sighed and picked it up.

"Hello… yeah… yeah I know… well…," I looked at Tina, who had her eyebrow raised. "Yeah I'll be right over."

"Who was that?" Tina asked, as I put my phone in my pocket.

"The one I'm choosing," I said, as I walked past her.