Chapter title inspired by Anne Murray (others have performed the song but hers is the best)

All or Nothing – Chapter 17: Could I Have This Dance

"Woah, woah, woah," Kendall exclaimed, stopping my story. "You just left him at the cabin?"

"Yeah," I said. "I did. I couldn't handle making the decision right then."

"Seems kinda harsh, Dad," Katy said. I shook my head.

"You had to understand where I was coming from. I had just had Blaine propose to me, and Will now wanted me to basically give up the life I had built just for him."

"He was confused as usual," Tina said, chiming in from next to me. I smirked.

"Thanks for that."

"Just helping along the story. Please continue," she smiled.

"Anyways…" I continued my story.

xGLEExGLEExGLEEx

I didn't stop driving until I reached Portland. I couldn't believe Will had put me in this situation. First off, I disappeared for a whole day without telling my possible fiancé the truth, and now Will wanted me to give up everything for him. Not that he wasn't worth it, but it seemed too much. The truth was that I was still scared that he would leave me and I would be left that broken man I was seven years before. He had this effect on me that I couldn't ignore, but I could avoid if I just stopped seeing him all together. Blaine was perfect, if not a little quick to move things to the next level, and I should just be happy with him.

As I pulled up to the townhouse, I saw Tina sitting on my front steps waiting for me. I rolled my eyes, got out of the car, and went to face her.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"Because Will called me and told me you had just driven off," she said.

"Well, how did you know I'd just be coming home? Who says I wouldn't have stayed down there and just rented a hotel room?"

"Because I know you, and I know you would have wanted to get as far away from the situation as possible. I just figured you would come home."

"That's great, Tina, that you know me so well. Now why did you help Will with his plan?"

"Because you two are meant to be together."

"Same old song, Tina."

"I like the tune."

"Did you know Blaine proposed to me?"

Tina sipped her Starbucks. "I had heard rumors."

"Kurt?"

"Yeah."

"And you let Will do this anyway?"

"I didn't let Will do anything. He is a grown man, as you well know, and has a mind of his own."

I sat down on the stoop, and she handed me a cup of coffee. "I've missed you," I said, sighing, and taking a sip.

"I've missed you too. It really hurt me the way our friendship fell apart. I'm sorry that you feel that I am adding to some sort of misery by helping Will build the cabin, but I saw how much it meant to him, and how much he wanted you back. I just couldn't say no, especially when I think you belong with him. Would Blaine do anything like that for you?"

"Give him time," I chuckled, and sipped more of the coffee.

"I just want you to consider what Will is offering. He loves you Finn. He truly does. He wants to build a life with you."

We finished our coffees in relative silence, the only break in the quiet being Tina telling me about her newest boyfriend. She hugged me, and drove back to Seattle. I realized then that she truly was my best friend, along with Kurt, since only a best friend would drive four hours just to have coffee with you, and turn right back around, and drive another four hours. I shook my head, sighed, and walked into the townhouse to confront my feelings.

xGLEExGLEExGLEEx

"So what happened?" Kendall and Katy simultaneously said.

I smiled at my daughters, 20 and 17 respectively, stood up, and kissed them each on the foreheads.

"You know the rest," I said. They groaned, and I walked out of the waiting room, and towards his room. I heard Tina start to tell the rest of the story, but I still kept walking, and headed into his room.

"Hey," he quietly groaned from the bed. I smiled, walked over to the chair next to the bed, and rubbed his hand.

"Hey," I kissed his hand.

"How are the girls?"

"Tina and I have been telling them about us. About how we met, fell in love, etc. I can't believe we never told them before."

"I guess we thought it was too dramatic."

I laughed. "Yeah. Well anyways, it has kept their minds off things for a while. It was nice to see them smile."

"Good. They need to smile. I want them to smile." He squeezed my hand. "Where's Kurt?"

"Oh, he had to go into the school today. Couldn't take any more days off without at least making an appearance. But he'll be back later tonight."

"Good. I don't want you to be alone here."

"Always looking out for me."

"It is my job."

I laughed again. "Well I won't be alone. Tina and the girls are here. Plus there's you."

He grimaced. "Yeah. Me."

"Don't say it like that."

"I don't feel like myself. I don't even look like myself."

He was right. The cancer had taken his beautiful curls. He was slow to gray, and just had recently shown his age. But then the cancer hit, and the chemotherapy. He was frail, couldn't stand by himself anymore, and threw up almost everything he ate. I kept a brave face, but I knew when it was time to bring him to the hospital. The girls had been barred from the room unless they could control their tears, as he wanted the room to be a happy one. Eventually after a week, they had managed to control themselves. Tina and Kurt gave him tough love, but really they were scared too. But they kept a brave front for Kendall and Katy, and were a big help when I just wanted to break down.

"I thought this was supposed to be a happy room?" I said.

"I give up."

"Don't say that."

"I don't want to leave you."

I couldn't say that he was wrong. We both knew it was coming.

"I'll be alright."

"That's the first time you've acknowledged it."

"Hush."

"I want you to move on."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Finn."

"Just stop," I said, trying to hold back the tears. "Just rest."

He sighed, and brought his hand to stroke my cheek.

"Will you sing me to sleep?"

"Of course. What song?"

"Our wedding song."

Of course he'd pick that one. I smiled, held on to his hand, as the words started to come out of me.

I'll always remember the song they were playin',
The first time we danced and I knew,
As we swayed to the music and held to each other,
I fell in love with you.

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?
Would you be my partner every night?
When we're together, it feels so right.
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

I'll always remember that magic moment,
When I held you close to me.
'Cause we moved together, I knew forever,
You're all I'll ever need

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?
Would you be my partner every night?
When we're together, it feels so right.
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

As I entered into the last chorus, I felt it. I felt him slip away from me.

xGLEExGLEExGLEEx

"Finn?" Tina said, as she came up behind me on the deck. I could feel Kurt behind me as well.

"What?" I asked.

"You need to eat," Kurt said.

"I don't need anything."

"Finn, you're scaring us, and you're scaring the girls."

I turned around on them. "I just buried my husband, what do you want from me?" I screamed at them. Brittany, Mike, Burt, Kayla, Kendall, Katy, and Sam all looked at me from inside the cabin. I gave them all a dirty look, and went back to my moping. Tina put a hand on my back.

"We get it, Finn. You are sad. You're angry. You want to blame someone. But there is no one to blame."

"Maybe you should talk to my dad," Kurt said. "I mean, when he lost Carole, I know he was really angry too. Maybe he has a way to cope."

"God you sound just like him," I groaned. "He told me he wanted me to move on."

"You're still young, Finn. You're only 46. You can't spend the rest of your life alone. Kendall is in college, Katy is going to college next year, and you will be in this house by yourself."

"So, what, I'm supposed to just go pick up some random guy?"

"No, of course not!" Tina exclaimed. "But you can't let anger get the best of you. Because if you do, you will be all alone."

I choked back some rage. "Can you both do me a favor?"

"Of course," Kurt said.

"Can you take the girls somewhere tonight? Anywhere. I just want to be alone for a while, and I think the only way they'll leave is if you get them to."

"Maybe you shouldn't be alone," Tina suggested.

"I'm not going to off myself Tina," I laughed. "I just need a moment. I haven't had a moment alone for weeks."

"Okay," Kurt and Tina agreed.

Two hours later, the last of the guests had left, and I was alone on the deck. I turned, and walked through our living room. Pictures of our family on the wall. We adopted Kendall just three months after we got married, and Kayla was the product of surrogacy. She had my eyes, and Brittany's hair. He was okay with that, and we had always planned to have another, but with him as the dad, but we never got around to it. Mom and Burt had moved in with us because Mom had started having health issues, and Burt was having issues taking care of Kayla while also taking care of Mom. Mom died when Katy was only five. Burt then moved in with Kurt and Sam, who had gotten married two years prior. Tina lived just down the street from us, and was the mother figure for the girls, since Brit lived five hours away, and only saw us on holidays and birthdays. Tina had never gotten married, and we referred to her as our wife. I chuckled at all the family photos that included us, Tina, Kurt, Sam, Kayla, Brit, Burt, Katy, and Kendall. We had really built a family. Now it was my job to keep it together.

He made all my dreams come true, I thought as I looked around the kitchen. So many holiday dinners cooked there, and so many more to come, I made myself promise. Nothing would change, except that he wouldn't be there to carve the turkey anymore. I guess that was my job now too.

I shuffled to the bedroom. Our bedroom. I hadn't slept there since he died. I hadn't been able to bring myself to. I slept on the couch instead. That brought even more concerned looks from everyone, but I didn't care. They didn't understand. Well, maybe Burt did, but it was still different.

I sighed, and walked back through the living room. I walked out the front door, to the front deck, which brought back memories of the first time I had been here. The letter that brought me here, and his face. His hopeful face. Looking back, I can't believe I drove away that day, but it only took me until the next morning to realize who I belonged with. I showed back up, bags in hand, shrugged, and we kissed. We made love all night, into the morning, and then he proposed. He told me he never wanted to leave me again. And yet he had.

I went back to the fireplace, and took a photo of us off the mantle. I sat down on the couch, and tears started falling. He had left me, again. I knew it was different. I knew that he had no control over it. I still hated him for it though. But I had to keep going. I had my girls. I had my family. I made him a promise, and I was going to keep going for him. My Will.

A/N: Okay, so, this was really much more difficult to write than I had planned. I want to thank everyone who reviewed, especially MrsTripTucker as they were with me from the beginning. I hope I did you all justice with the ending. Please check out my Dave/Sam fic, Head Over Feet, and stay tuned, as I have more Glee fics in mind for the future!

BTW: I know I never said what happened to Blaine. Um… he went to Paris… yeah Paris… and was never heard from again. Lol. (I really don't hate Blaine, and in fact, have mad mad mad crazy love for Darren Criss, but for the purposes of this story, I had to).