Hey guys, sorry I took so long to update, I just got back to school, which means lots of internals and homework.
Yeah I know, it sucks.
There were so many reviews, thank you for that, it really motivated me :P
But I'm trying to update as quick as I can :D
Hope you like this chapter.

Enjoy.

Chapter 20 - The Feeling of Freedom

RPOV

I gathered up all my things and set them neatly in a pile on top of the bed that I had spent a whole two weeks recovering in. The bed that Jake may or may not have tried to assault me in, in a good way of course. Grandpa Carlisle said that it took at least four months for a human to recover from those kind of injuries which made me feel a lot better about only needing two weeks.

He made sure that I never had someone sharing the room with me, ever. I would hate for them to be scarred in their sleep from the noises that Jake and I made. Of course Jake was here every second night, which was against the rules but since Grandpa was the head of intensive care and surgery, he was allowed to bend them.

Damien and I had talked quite a bit over the two weeks, though we never ventured into the topic that most interested me, and for that I was grateful, in my condition I don't know what would've happened if he jogged my memory. Though my plans were to talk to him about it soon. He seemed like an overall nice guy and even though Jake couldn't get past his issues to see that, I could.

Really, I didn't know what Jake had against him, I mean sure he was a vampire but so was I, well half, but still, same thing, so I couldn't see why, was it because he saved me and not Jake, or maybe he was just jealous, I mean Damien was good looking, really, really good looking. No way Jake could ever be jealous though, he had my heart forever, we were destined for each other otherwise he would've never imprinted on me. What more proof does he need to show him that I really and truly do love him more than anything in this entire world.

Mom and Dad had tried their best to mend their ways with Jake and I, though I could tell it was difficult, I forgave them in the end, they were my parents after all and they'd have to get over it sooner or later because my future held Jacob so whether they liked it or not, I wasn't changing my mind. It was funny to watch Mom try to keep her voice even while she spoke, and Dads expressions were priceless, he was sifting through my mind the whole time, I could feel the physical invasion in my head, serves him right for going in there.

I jumped when I felt two strong arms wrap around me from behind bringing me out of my thoughts, though he careful not to press to hard against my back, there were still bandages on there. I still wasn't used to the whole sneaking thing yet. I felt my pulse racing and my palms start getting sweaty till he spoke.

"Sorry, I have to remember not to scare you." He whispered, his voice was so soothing it brought me right out of my stupid reaction.

"I just- I still gotta get used to it." I mumbled and smiled, looking down at the floor. There was a long pause before he finally said something.

"So, excited to get out?" He asked, he pressed his warm lips to my neck and inhaled the deep scent of my skin.

"Yes!" I whined, I wanted to bask in the sun and dance in the rain, I wanted to inhale the fresh air that I missed so much. I turned around in his hold and his hands went to my lower back were there were no wounds. I stretched my arms to go around his neck and reached my lips up waiting for his to make contact.

As soon as I felt his soft lips on mine all my worries disappeared, I felt like it was just us and the world didn't matter, kind of like how it was when we first started dating.

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" Came a familiar male voice, I broke away, my face colouring just slightly as I looked at Damien. He had a tendency to wear semi-tight shirts to show off his obvious Adonis muscles.

"Yes." Jacob said dryly, loosening his grip on me just slightly with a sigh. I wanted to tell him to cut it out but I really didn't feel like dealing with this today.

"No, I was just finishing up some packing." I smiled and he grinned at me, Jacob rolled his eyes obligingly.

"I just came to see you since you were getting out today, I figured that I'd take you to dinner, if you want of course?" I felt Jake tense beside me and knew about to say something so I quickly responded.

"Yeah, sure, I'd love to." I smiled. He nodded and grinned.

"I'll pick you up at seven-thirty then?" I nodded and he smiled before walking out of the room. I turned to Jake to face the wrath of my answer. Instead what I got was a calm, serene man standing there like he'd completely missed the conversation.

"Do you want me to come?" He said, his voice was completely at ease though his posture was still tensed.

"I think I can handle it, and plus I wanna talk about some things alone with him." His expression shifted slightly, showing something like melancholy, I immediately realised what that would've sounded like to Jake. "About the attack." I added quickly before any harm could be done.

I could see the sadness in his eyes and decided that I would make sure I saw that disappear before I left. I knew Jakes weak spot. He started to walk towards all the things I packed, letting me go entirely.

"Jake..." I said seductively, a grin plastered all over my face. I brought my index finger to trail up his back slowly. I felt his body tense at my touch, in a good way. He spun around then and pushed me gently against the wall, his arms on either side of me.

"Yes?" He smiled, he leaned his head in and I could literally feel the heat rolling off his body, as for my body heat, it was a lot cooler since that day. Grandpa Carlisle said it was because there were still traces of the metal in my body. Yay for burning metal.

"You know I love you..." I said still grinning, I wanted to wrap my legs around him, I wanted to be rough with him right here in this hospital room, stupid bandages.

"And you know I love you more..." He said slyly, he knew how to be sultry when he wanted to, his eyes raked my body and I immediately felt like he was using them to undress me. In the figurative sense of course.

"Really, Jake, are we gonna play this again?" I grinned, he knew my tactics well enough to know that this was the part where he kissed me and I lost all memory of our conversation, which is exactly what he did. And this was followed by the memory loss I so loved at times like these.

His mouth was so ferocious yet his hands were so gentle, they contradicted each other in the battle for dominance, whether I concentrated more on one or the other was entirely out of my control. His mouth won the war as his tongue feverishly sucked on my lower lip, begging for permission, permission that I wilfully agreed to.

One of his hands moved from the wall to my breast, where he stayed and kneaded casually, I was so afraid that the nurse would walk in, but at this moment I couldn't care less, he consumed me in every way possible. I heard a soft rumble stir in his throat, like something you'd hear when a cat purred, which was odd, since Jake came from the dog family...

"The nurse is going to walk in." I whispered, stifling a giggle, not very well I might add.

"We can lock the door." He whispered back, pressing his soft lips to mine, I could see the pure lust in his eyes, Jake was addicted.

"You can't lock a hospital door." I chuckled and he let out an audible sigh, leaning back and closing his eyes as if to concentrate on something much more important than our current dilemma.

"God! Why do you do that?" He yelled, he'd been having the weirdest mood swings lately, I swear, it was like he was PMS'ing or something.

"Why are you angry?" I asked, today's mood wasn't going to be ruined by his sour demeanour.

"I'm not angry, I'm just annoyed." He said as he turned around, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes tightly.

"Annoyed at what?" My voice was thick with sarcasm, he knew he was being a douche right now, he was just too much of a man to admit it.

"Why do you distract me like that?" He yelled, he was facing away from me and I could see his arms shaking, I had grown accustomed to him taking out his frustrations on me lately.

"What do you expect me to do?" I shouted back, flaring my arms in the process, if he wanted to argue then we were sure as hell going to argue.

"I don't know." He whispered back, he turned around then and stared solely at the ground. "I- Shit, I'm sorry... it's just- there's just been no luck with the search." His eyes were distraught.

"Jake, look at me." He shook his head, still staring at the floor. I walked up to him promptly and placed my index finger on his chiselled chin to lift his head up. When his eyes made contact all I could see was my fears reflected back to me. I placed my other hand on his cheek to show him what I was thinking.

I thought about that night at the beach, I recalled every single thing that happened that night back to him and he seemed to calm down.

"Better?" I smiled and he beamed back, the only thing wrong with this picture were his eyes, something in his eyes weren't letting me bask in the moment.

"Much." He pecked my lips delicately before pulling me close to his chest. I could hear his fast heartbeat return to normal, if you could call Jakes heart beat normal at all. "Now should we get all this down into the truck, everyone's waiting for you at the main house." He said while laying his head on mine and inhaling. I knew that neither or us wanted to move so I shook my head and just stood there wrapped in his arms.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and ducked my head. I didn't know how else to try to distract him, what was I supposed to do?

"No, you didn't do anything, I'm just frustrated." He kissed the top of my head gently and pulled back to lift my face up. I could see that sadness washed away and love replace it in his eyes and I was instantly relieved. I knew for a fact though that it wouldn't last, tomorrow he would be frustrated and I'd have to calm him down.

"Ready to go?" Uncle Jasper said from behind, I didn't know he came. It caught me off guard and even though I could stand here like this forever my reflex reaction was to say yes.

"Yeah, I'll just get my stuff." I said, slowly and unwillingly letting go of Jake. I felt his heat slowly retreat from my body leaving an uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling of coolness.

"No, I got it." Jake interrupted, grabbing my things from the bed and slinging it over his shoulder.

"Okay, let's get out of here then." Uncle Jasper said, playing with the car keys in his hands, I was surprised that he came with Jakes truck, knowing my family, speed is all they care about.

"Okay." I said and Jakes warm hand found its way to mine as he led me out of my safe zone and into the world that put me there.

I didn't know whether this was a formal or non-formal wear kind of event. I presumed it was semi formal seeing as it was in between. I had miraculously found the perfect dress to wear, it wasn't too flashy of course. What with all the bandages I couldn't dare to wear anything backless. I went for a deep blue sun-dress and a beige wrap, that way nobody could see my back.

I knew what questions I wanted answered, but I didn't know what this would be like, I didn't know how my mind would react to being normal again, would I be afraid of seeing other people? Of being out in the open, would I break down walking on the lush grass because it reminded me so much of that day, but one question played on my mind repeatedly, blocking my thoughts.

Did I want to remember that day?

I didn't know whether it would be better if I stayed out of the know, if I didn't remember all the details, I didn't want to be one of those people who are afraid to go outside by themselves because they're so traumatised by such an event. I didn't want to be one of those people who are afraid to be themselves because of what happened.

I sat down on my bed and thought for a minute, I let my head fall into my hands and my fingers weave themselves through my bronze locks. Did I want to remember? I tried to recall that day by myself, but all I got was blurred images of green and brown meshed together in an unorganised fashion. I wanted to be able to remember but I didn't want to know.

I heard my door creak open and lifted my head to see a shirtless Jacob emerge from the corridor and peep into my room. He slowly walked in and closed the door behind him, taking the seat next to me on my bed and wrapping his strong arms around me.

"You're so cold." He whispered and began rubbing my arm to create some friction. I just laid my head on his bulky shoulder and sighed, he was the only one who could put me at ease at such a dense time like this.

"Grandpa said it's gonna take at least three months before my temperature comes back to normal." I said, though he wasn't exactly sure seeing as he had never actually met a half vampire who had been stabbed with a special dagger meant to kill vampires.

"Ness, I wanted to ask you something." He spoke with a tense voice.

"Mhmm?" I hummed, the heat radiating off his shoulder warmed up the side of my head leaving me with a weird unbalance of warmth.

"Ever since the attack, I've been thinking a lot, about us..." This was starting to sound like a break up. "And, if something had happened to you- if you had died, I would've never forgiven myself..."

"Jake I-" I interrupted but he shushed me by placing his index finger on my lips.

"And, I think that if I never got the chance to ask you that you would've never known how much you mean to me..." Okay, so this wasn't a break up. "I have thought about this since the day you told me you loved me, I thought about everything, and the feeling of losing you without having done this made me want to throw myself in front of a bus."

"Jake, n-" He interrupted me again, what was this talk about throwing himself in front of a bus, what could be so important that he'd talk about doing something like that, not that he would die, just very badly injured.

"Wait, I'm not done... I love you, I love you so damn much, and I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible, and so I'm asking you..." He got off the bed and knelt down on one knee in front of me, his hand reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small black velvet box which he held in front of me and looked deep into my eyes. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, will you marry me?"

To be continued...

What will her answer be ?
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