Sorry it took so long, I'm sure you're getting tired of my apologies, but I spent all day today writing :D
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Chapter 23 - Confusion

RPOV

Carefully peeling the letter from the door so that the paint wasn't damaged, I opened it and noticed the handwriting was nothing like mom or dads, or any ones I knew for that matter. What really shocked me was what was written inside. I froze in my position.

My mind couldn't comprehend the words that were written on the page in perfect calligraphy. The paper smelled like vampire, but not anyone I knew, it had a sweet aroma, it was almost elegant, as if someone with enormous wealth were threatening someone like me.

How much do you really love Jacob?
Enough to kill yourself? Or him.

The choice is yours.

I didn't know what the letter was saying, I knew it was a connection to the attack, I just didn't know what it wanted me to do. I wanted to open the closed door and peer outside but some part of me stopped, if there was someone- something waiting out there for me I would be dead. Some part of me wanted to show Jake, show him the letter and become a coward behind his masculinity, but some part of me feared that if I did I would endanger his life.

I didn't realise that the knife had fallen out of my hand until Jake came out of the room and said something.

"What was that?" He asked, I wasn't paying attention to anything, I didn't know what to do; I didn't know whether to pretend like everything was fine or to tell him. It wasn't like me to keep anything from Jake, but this person obviously knows about our family and knows that they are a threat.

I quickly tucked the note into the pocket of my night gown and turned around with my best attempt at a smile. I let myself forgot what I had just seen, I told myself it was a dream, a joke, something that didn't mean anything just so that I could be happy for one night. He was only wearing his boxers, the ones that I kept here nowadays. Just in case.

"The knife slipped." I said and bent over to pick it up, I felt like crying, like falling to the floor and getting into the foetal position just so I could feel whole. I didn't want to see the expression on his face so I just looked at the floor and tried my best to hold everything together.

"It slipped?" He chuckled and came up behind me, pulling me up and hugging me from behind, he made me feel whole, yet that letter weighed a thousand pounds in my pocket and my mind was trapped, caged, kept away from feeling the pure joy of being engaged to the one man I love.

"Mm, clumsy me, huh?" I gave out an exasperated laugh and tried to slow down my pulse that was now pacing at a high speed. He snuggled his head into the juncture between my neck and shoulder and breathed in heavily while swaying us from side to side.

Everything seemed to stop, the world and its troubles were forgotten, I was amazed by this being that stood before me like a Greek God who could have anyone he wanted, yet he chose me.

"Music?" He chuckled and let go off me to walk toward the small silver stereo we kept next to the fireplace. He turned the radio on and the song immediately made me laugh. His voice was so much better than the Artists.

"If you want love, we'll make it, swim in a deep sea of blankets..." He tried dancing toward me although it looked nothing like a dance, more like a spasm. His tongue stuck out the side of his mouth and hands made dramatic gestures at his side; the movements of his body didn't even come close to matching the song.

"Just kidding." He smiled and walked normally toward me before taking my hand and leading me away from the door. His hands found the space on the small of my back and mine found their way around his neck where they grasped each other and found peace.

He swayed us slowly from side to side in perfect rhythm, I laid my heady idle on his chest and made a mental image of this night. I had no idea what time it was right now, but I suspected it was coming up to midnight soon.

"Your body is a wonderland..." He sang while he laid his head on mine. I had to giggle at his singing but my laugh came out exasperated and dry. I couldn't hold it back anymore and the tears came freefalling down my cheeks, I tried my best to keep him from noticing. I knew my tears were wetting his chest and I needed to stop yet the stuffiness in my throat grew more and more uncomfortable.

"I love you." I whispered into his chest and closed my eyes so I didn't have to look at reality. I felt him turn his head slightly. His nose brushed my cheek as he tried to look at my face.

"I love you too." He said and his lips made contact with my forehead before resting his against it. "What's the matter?" He asked when he finally noticed my tears. I wanted to tell him about the letter, but I thought that it was best not to. I thought it would be better to talk to Carlisle first.

"I- I'm just happy." I smiled and he brought his hands to my face to wipe away the water droplets.

"I'm happy too, baby." He smiled and softly kissed my lips.


I woke up the next morning, feeling like a train had hit me, my body was stiff and my head felt like hell, sort of the feeling you get when you've had too much to drink the night before, even though I hadn't consumed any alcohol. I felt like a new person, someone who had just said yes to the man of her dreams yet is being struck by an unknown dilemma.

I lifted my left hand to look at the diamond that now belonged to me, the diamond that would soon make me Mrs Black. It wasn't there, my finger felt bare and naked; I wasn't sure whether I dropped it or put it in the box. Holy SHIT! Where did it go? I started panicking, I have just lost Jacob's great-grandmother's ring. FUCK!

I fidgeted around on my blanket, scared that it might have gotten lost in the fluffy soft-ness that is my bed. I couldn't find it anywhere. I heard someone quietly talking in the kitchen and I wondered if it was Jacob on the phone, but there were two voices, and they sounded a lot like my parents.

"Edward, stop it, she's right there!" I heard mom giggle, okay, EW! Didn't wanna know what that was. Why were they home right now? I thought they were staying the night at the main house.

Just then the thought had occurred to me, where in the world was Jacob? I looked over at my clock. 11:13 am. I don't think he would've left this early, and without saying goodbye. I looked down at myself; I was wearing one of Jakes massive shirts and a pair of silk shorts.

I decided to just forget about it for now; I had bigger things to worry about, like what I was going to do about that letter. I wasn't sure whether I should talk to Carlisle about it of not, maybe I shouldn't, but then I would be putting Jacob in even more danger. My life was nothing without him.

I saw my pink nightgown hanging idly on the hook of my closet and I woke up to go retrieve the note. I wanted to examine every inch of this piece of paper. I reached into the pocket swiftly and felt around, there was nothing in there, it was empty. I thought that maybe I'd put it in the other side so I reached into the other pocket and felt around, my hand couldn't feel anything in there. I decided to use my eyes but still, it was just empty.

Then it crossed my mind, what if Jacob had left because he found the note? What if he had gone out and shown the pack and they're all trying to figure out who it was. I felt so stupid that I had kept it in there, of course I could never keep anything from Jacob, he always knew what was going on. He probably had it in his hands, or paws, right now. Trust me to be incredibly naive as to how much Jacob really knew about me.

I walked into my bathroom, it looked as if someone had cleaned it while I slept, everything was spotless, in its right place, the bins were empty, there was not a single spot of dirt in sight. I settled on brushing my teeth while I thought.

So far my day has not been pleasant. Wake up to find I lost my engagement ring. Heard my parents doing something nasty in the kitchen. Realised that Jake had left without saying goodbye, and most likely has the note I tried so hard to keep from him last night.

Great.

I was just waiting for the next surprise to hit me, smack! In the face.

"Renesmee, breakfast..." I heard mom call. I took a deep breath, hoping word of the letter hadn't gotten to them yet, and bravely stepped out of my room. I found mom setting things that she'd cooked on a plate for me and dad sitting at the round dining table carefully reading the newspaper.

"Morning." I said as I walked in and took a seat at the table, the kitchen was so clean compared to last night, I wondered whether Jacob had cleaned it or whether mom did. As if Jacob would've cleaned.

"Good morning, how did you sleep?" Mom asked like she was totally oblivious to the fact that Jake had stayed over and had just proposed to me. I imagined the first thing coming out of her mouth being "congratulations!"

She placed the plate of mouth watering pancakes and fresh berries in front of me and leaned casually against the counter and looking at me like she was scared I was going to faint or something.

"Fine." I replied confused and carefully examined both my parents. Something was off today. They seemed too calm...

I cut into the pancake and lifted the piece into my mouth, I felt both their eyes examining me and I gulped loudly at the awkwardness of the situation. I made the mental decision not to ask what was going in, instead take a drive down to La Push and see what's going on with Jake.

When I was done, I got up silently and left my plate in the sink, neither of their eyes had left me the whole time and I was starting to feel like I was under some kind of watch. I went through my daily routine. Shower. Moisturise. Dress. And head out the door as if nothing was going on. They didn't seem to stop me, but I could tell that as I walked, someone would be following to make sure I got to wherever I needed safely.

When I got to La Push, Jacob was sitting at a large wooden table surrounded with the main members of the pack, Embry, Quil, Paul, Sam, Seth and Leah. They were all laughing and looked like they were having quite a good time. It didn't look like they knew anything about a certain threatening letter which confused me quite a bit.

"Ness!" I heard Jacob call and he got up to pull me into a tight embrace before initiating the kiss I'd been waiting for all morning. I heard Embry and Quil whistle slyly in my direction before the whole pack broke out into their thriving laughter.

Right now I was probably the most confused person you could ever meet. What in the world was going on? I wanted so badly to ask him why he left so early in the morning if there was no emergency, but with the pack around, anything I say or do can and will be used against me in a mocking war.

As soon as Jake put me down and my eyes met the eager people looking at me with eyes that said "We know what you did last night" I immediately blushed, they probably heard all about it in Jacobs thoughts. Trust him not to stop thinking about the sex we had last night.

"Hey guys." I said, my face going bright red and my hand waving awkwardly at them, effectively earning myself another round of laughter.

"Hey, c'mon, take a seat." Seth called and patted the space next to him; I walked over and sat down quietly while everyone seemed to dissolve into their own conversations. Jake walked over and sat next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me close to his side while I heard him talking about great places to go hiking.

"Dude, there's this place, just off the reserve; man the space there is incredible." Embry said and looked over at me, giving me a wink before turning back to the conversation. Jacob chuckled and pulled the fingers at him before placing a soft kiss on the top of my forehead.

I wouldn't be bothered paying attention to their conversations about space and agility so I just drifted off into my own little world; I thought it would be fun to do a little experiment on Jake to see how much he would really reveal to the pack.

I placed my hand on his bare chest and projected images into him. Intimate images that only I have ever seen, things that I wanted to do, things that he has done...

I felt him tense at my side, his eyes automatically go blank and his cheeks colour slightly, I wanted to giggle but I thought the subtle composure would be better. I looked down casually at the growing bulge in his pants and smiled at what I could do to him.

Then again, I thought it was a bit mean to mess with him like this so I stopped, effectively removing my hand and keeping it placed on my lap. I heard Jacob let out a deep breath and return to his normal state of mind before he stood up briskly and pulled me with him.

"We'll be back." He said and urged me to get into his truck which I complied, I didn't know whether my harmless act of fun was getting me in trouble or earning me a bonus at this point.

The rest of the pack just shrugged as Jacob drove past and headed for the beach. "What was that?" He finally said after a long silence, he didn't seem to be annoyed. But something was there in his voice.

"I was entertaining myself..." I giggled and pulled my legs up in front of me, wrapping my arms around them and waited for his response. He pulled over on the side of the road, there were thick layers of forest around us and we were completely hidden from the outside world.

"And apparently me too." He looked at me and I averted his gaze.

"Hey, why did you leave so early this morning without waking me up?" I asked, I figured this was a good time to change the subject. I looked at him and he looked completely confused.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, his voice sounded as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

"This morning, you left my house without saying goodbye." I said and he raised an eyebrow, "Do you really not remember what you did this morning?" I chuckled, he was never one to have a good memory.

"Yeah, I do, I woke up in my bed, had breakfast and chilled out with the guys... and Leah till you came over, what are you talking about?" Okay, this is too weird.

"Last night, you came over and my parents weren't there..." I looked at my knees and felt my cheeks burn. Was it all a dream? No way, it felt way too real to be a dream. Everything, every touch, every feeling, was so real.

I felt reality hit me in the face, this is what I was waiting for all day, that one moment where I realised nothing was real and I had dreamt it all. Damn my imagination!

"Ness I don't know what-" I cut him off.

"Shh." I said, still absorbing all this. Does that mean Jacob didn't propose to me, which would explain why I couldn't find the ring.

"Ness, what's go-" I cut him off again.

"Shh!" I said sharply, does that mean that I didn't spend the night with him? That we didn't have awesome sex and attempt to make pizza?

"I'm re-" Could he not be quiet?

"Shhhh!" Does this mean that I never got a threatening letter? I didn't know how to feel about this, the best and worst night of my life wasn't real. Jacob had not proposed to me, thumbs down. I had not been threatened, thumbs up.

I felt like such an idiot. What the hell happened last night then? Everything was such a blur right now that I couldn't be bothered trying to fit everything together.

"Okay, just tell me what's go-" I placed my index finger on his lips quickly and his last words came out distorted "-ing on."

"It was all a dream." I said, my voice was far away, hearing myself say it made me feel stupid. How could I have mistaken a dream for reality?

"What was?" He said against my finger which was still on his mouth, pressed against his lips trying to keep him quiet while I put everything together.

"The sex, the talking, the cooking, the dancing... Everything." I didn't wanna tell him that I dreamt of him proposing to me, that would just make him feel awkward. Instead I told him the other bits.

He chuckled slightly and I removed my index finger from his moist lips. "No surprise you're dreaming of sex with me." He smirked like he had gained victory somehow. I smacked his shoulder and he pretended to be hurt by rubbing it with his hand and having an over dramatic facial. "Now, now, let's not get abusive." He chuckled.

I pouted my lips and settled on being quiet for the duration of my embarrassing life. No doubt the pack would know all about this later on and I'll be the laughing stock of La Push.

"You're not going to talk to me?" He grinned. And I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh, okay, fine then." He laughed and crossed his arms. He gave me a sideways glance and I could tell he was thinking of ways to crack me. He pulled me out of my seat effortlessly and placed me on his lap. He rotated me just slightly so that I had to sit with my legs on either side of him.

"How about now?" He smiled and kissed my neck, moving his lips up to my jaw and then to my cheeks. "Now?" His hands moved down my back till his palms cupped my butt and he gently squeezed. "Maybe now?" He said and rocked my hips against him, letting me feel exactly how turned on he was right now.

Dear Lord, let me have some self control.


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