Chapter 14

Today was the first day in a series known to therapists as 'acceptance'. By now I think I have been in all the other different stages of loss, although not in the order they usually occur. Denial, anger, bargaining not so much. Although I must admit that somehow I hoped that if I could pull off running a farm all on my own, I would live happily ever after. Depression. And now, acceptance. It has a nice ring to it. I get why therapists like to use the word so much now.

Elliot, Natalie, Sabrina and Vaughn have started helping me out with the farm since a week; I just can't manage it all by myself anymore. I can't exactly tell whether or not Elliot is being nice, being forced by his loving sister, or trying to impress Julia, who has been gracing us with her presence since a day or five. Not that I'm complaining. Not at all. She a great cook, as a matter of fact.

Vaughn won't let me live it down that I can't ask for help. Or accept help, when it's being offered. Except when Julia offers to cook for me. But that's just me doing her a favour. I suppose the I-wanna-do-it-on-my-own attitude I had as a little kid never really went away.

"Shall I get the platters for you?" I informed, while Julia was chopping the vegetables for the salad she was making.

"Sure, if you can reach them," she replied, wiping the sweat off her face. Today was the warmest day of summer yet, and there were even more to come, according to old man Taro. I had just opened the cabinet when Vaughn came in, as sweaty as to be expected when you're working out in the fields in a cowboy get-up. He raised an eyebrow and smirked as he watched me reach for the plates on my tippy toes.

"You need some help with that?" He smirked.

"Do you want fries with that?" He walked over to me, wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up. I grabbed the plates. He put me down. I frowned.

"I'm not quite sure we are at that level of intimacy yet."

"Are you complaining?" He inquired, hiding a slight blush.

"Go shower, you're hot."

"Although I know you believe the contrary, it does stop being funny," he replied as he left the farmhouse, his cheeks still flushed.

"No sweaty men in my kitchen!" I ordered, just when Elliot appeared on the doorway. Julia smiled apologetically in his general direction and he disappeared from our view again. I snickered and she shook her knife at me while she faked a murderous expression.

"So sorry!" I exclaimed, defensively holding up my hands.

"I'm tired," I sighed, as we lay in the grass, in the shadow of the farmhouse.

"I am tired," she pointed out to me. "You're just lazy," she added, grinning.

"You make me want to throw stuff at you."

"I know I do," Natalie laughed. "That's why you love me."

"Speaking of which," I said as I sat up straight, "How is your purple-clad object of affection coming along? You never brought it up again, since I slept over." She pursed her lips into a tight, thoughtful line. I bit my lip.

"It's, ehm… what's the word? Complicated."

"Complicated, huh?" I looked at her.

"You lost the right to criticize my love life a long time ago," she retorted.

"I demand to be introduced!"

"Demand rejected!"

"Why?" I whined.

"Because you're being awfully bossy these days," she crossed her arms.

"This is me cooping."

I don't know what it is about Natalie that gets me to act like I did back when I was ten years old and thought I was old and wise enough to be referred to as an 'adolescent'. Even though ten year-olds don't get to drive and watch PEG 12+ rated moves, I can't help but miss those days sometimes. When I don't have Natalie around to take me back. She drives me nuts, but I'd probably go crazy without her.

"We should have another sleepover some time," I suggested.

"You'd better bring your own pyjamas this time," she smirked.

"There you go," I soothed as I put Elpis back on the ground. She hopped on my boots and nested herself there. "Right… Do you need some more cuddling?" I sat down and patted on my lap. She got the hint and hopped on. "Yes, you need some lovin', yes you do…" I cooed as I as petted her. "Aren't a pretty bird?"

"You do realise she's taking advantage of you, right?" Arms crossed, anti-social cowboy style, he leant against the wall, enjoying the surprised expression on my face.

"Uh-uh. Big time. Can't say I don't like it, though," I grinned. "What are you up to, anyway? Shouldn't you be going home by now? It's pretty late."

"Shouldn't you be going home, then? I can't help but notice it's getting pretty late," he echoed, snickering. I felt my cheeks flush.

"Can't sleep," I mumbled, softly stroking Elpis' smooth feathers. He nodded, reluctantly separating himself from the wall.

"Me neither," he answered. "Wanna go for a drink?" He avoided my gaze and I bit my lip. There was a noticeable tension in the barn. He just stood there, his hands uncomfortably stuffed in his pockets, and I just sat there, leaning against the wall. Petting a chicken. A little voice in the back of my head told me to just go with it. And, why the hell not?

"…Sure."

He reached out to me and pulled me to my feet. Elpis clucked loudly in protest when we left the barn.

To be honest, I had never had alcoholic drinks before. My grandpa had died from liver cirrhosis: he drank beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My parents drank children's champagne on New Year's eve and I have never had the kind of friends that went out on Friday nights to get drunk. If I had , I would have known how terribly low my alcohol tolerance was. Although. Getting tipsy is kind of fun.

"Last time it was the other time around," I giggled.

"Last time?" Vaughn inquired.

"On the ferry. You were so drunk you couldn't walk anymore," I grinned. I felt airheaded. They say you have different types of drunk people. There are those who get sleepy, those who get really loud and daring, those who frankly can't stop talking, and those who can't stop laughing. I was probably the latter kind. Vaughn was the first kind. I watched him think for an instant, took another sip of my drink. It tasted sweet, like strawberries.

"I like strawberries," I stated while I put my glass down with a soft 'thud'.

"I'm sure you do," he nodded, appreciating the change of subject.

"You're kinda cute when you're wasted," I commented, remembering the awkward event again. He blushed, and emptied his glass in one gulp. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. I yawned.

"We should be getting you home," he tried.

"Just because I yawn, doesn't mean I'm tired," I objected.

"I just don't really fancy carrying you home again."

"You're a good cook, though."

"Thanks."

"Cheers to sweet memories," I lifted my glass, not completely realising he had finished his drink already.

"Cheers," he smiled. We sat there, at the table near the window. I took another sip of my drink. I could have been mistaken, but it tasted better with each gulp I took. At this point, I felt so light-headed, I thought I was defying gravity.

"Remember that you woke up the next morning, thinking you'd taken advantage of me?" I grinned.

"I like you better when you're sober," he mumbled.

"You still had your clothes on and everything. The whole cowboy outfit," I continued, ignoring his remark. "Not that there's anything wrong with your clothes, I really like them. Not so keen on the hat, though." I crossed my arms and nodded, satisfied with my own analysis. The blush on his cheeks returned and I felt victorious. I grinned and hiccupped.

"This is your last glass," he noted, looking away.

"It's my first alcoholic drink ever," I snickered.

"Your fifth, actually," he corrected.

"Now you're just being childish," I grumbled and hiccupped once more, before finishing my drink. Vaughn stood up and helped me on my feet. 'Such a gentleman!' I had called him, not realising I said it out loud.

"Wait here," he told me before walking to the counter to pay for our drinks.

"Hey, Vaughn? You're an alright guy. Get her home safely, will ya? Don't want anything to happen to my favourite costumer." Nick smiled broadly as he towelled a glass dry. Vaughn promised he would see me home, and returned.

"You're back!" I exclaimed happily, hooking my arm into his. He left it there. I nuzzled his arm, satisfied. If I'd been feline, I definitely would have been purring.

"Let's get you home." We left the café and headed towards my farm. It was dark and I estimated the time somewhere around two o'clock. We passed Natalie's house and I noticed that her room was dimly lit. The fresh air blew through my hair and I felt like skipping. I locked my arm around his more securely.

"I swear, I am defying gravity as well as reality."

"Aren't you awesome," he snickered.

Before I realised it, we had arrived at my front door. Had I brought my keys with me? I searched one of my pockets. No keys. I tried the other. Found them. Then I dropped them. Picked them up, and dropped them again, before I could attempt to unlock the door. Vaughn collected them, and opened the door for me. I looked at him and smiled gratefully. He smiled back. I remember feeling the need to say something. Eventually, he leaned in close and chastely pecked my cheek. I felt my face heat up and my mind went blank. He blushed and his lips curled up.

"I'll see you in the morning." I nodded, dumbfounded. "Don't be late," he added with a grin, before turning around and walking away.

I am the type who annoys herself by talking too much. And hooray! Vaughn finally got the hints!
For anyone who'd like to know what took me so long, I've posted a journay entry on my profile. And I got a new poll! A cookie for your thoughts, criticism, complimens and vote. C: