It was 3 weeks until Adam recovered and was able to walk again. He still wasn't done mourning. He was currently on the plane ride, hand over his mouth and eyes closed. Trying to think of how he'd tell his family.

He was imagining it all wrong. He hoped he'd be able to remain calm when he spilt the truth but he knew he'd cry all over again. He was about to cry right then just thinking about it. He'd been on the plane for 3 hours, leaving 10 more. He had plenty of time to get some more bitter tears he still had out.

He wanted Drew to hold him so desperately that moment. It was the one thing he wanted. He covered his eyes, leaning over a bit.

He cried softly to himself, "Andrew." he couldn't help but whisper to himself. He leaned back in his chair, swiping the tears away, trying to hold them in the best he could.

When he arrived home, it was only 10 in the morning. Ironically, Adam was ready to go to sleep. He took a taxi home, not bothering to call Cathy (actually forgetting to) and welted up thinking about her face when he'd have to tell her.

After he dropped him off outside of her house, he couldn't look at it the same way. Normally he'd be coming to visit Drew. But now he was at Drew's home to tell his wife about Drew's death. He hesitated to ring the doorbell, also concerned if Emily was taking a nap or not. He knocked and waited for about 6 seconds. His stomach flipped a bit when he could hear the locks.

And yet when he saw Cathy, he had never felt such adrenaline in his body before in his life. Her facial expression changed from curious, to thrill immediately.

"Oh my god!" She embraced him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. She buried her face into his shoulder for a second, overjoyed by his return, she breathed in as if crying…she was.

"Your ok! Oh my god! Tell me what the hell happened!"

Adam held an expression of guilt as she let him in. Emily was indeed napping in the upstairs nursery. They had coffee and were sitting on the couch.

"So…for the past three weeks I've been in recovery, you could still see the stitch if I wasn't wearing jeans…and now I can walk again."

She breathed in, having a hard time taking all of that in. "That's unbelievable…" she sipped her coffee as Adam gulped.

"…W-where's Drew?"

Adam's head was turned down at his coffee, he looked at her with her eyes, they were forming tears. He didn't respond.

She put her coffee down, "Adam-"

He put his down, taking her hand. He breathed in, crying as if it was the night all over again "…Catherine…" he couldn't do it, but something inside of him forced him, "Andrew is dead."

He did better than he imagined, but now Cathy was growing more hysterical than him. Her tears bigger, face more distraught, she had nothing else to say, "…no."

Adam began to cry hardly again as he nodded a sad 'yes'. He pulled her in for a hug, as she buried her face into his knees. He gently laid his head down on her back as they cried. No longer wishing to hide the tears he bawled with her.

"Drew come back!" she yelled in a disoriented way due to the crying.

They spend the next three hours in tears until they finally had enough. While Cathy was washing her eyes as Adam stood in the master bedroom…on the desk on Cathy's side, was a photo of her and Drew on their wedding. She was dressed in the most beautiful white gown with long see-through sleeves with the beautiful diamond ring Drew spent all of his money on for her.

He put the photo down…he couldn't look at Drew just yet. He suddenly heard baby calls from the nursery…he wasn't ready for this yet. But he found himself dragging himself to the nursery. Literally dragging his feet he was so tired.

And there was Emily.

She was laying in her crib smiling at the ceiling. He got up all of his nerve and peered into the crib. Emily was still just as beautiful. She immediately smiled and started waving her arms at him, making happy baby calls.

He tearfully smiled upon seeing her again, "Hi Emily." he picked her up holding her in an embrace as he rocked her. She giggled. Cathy walked in, smiling softly to see him holding her. She hugged Emily from the other side, the three of them were suddenly in a small embrace as Adam tried to hold his smile as he kept crying.

Later on when it was about 5 in the afternoon, Adam was exhausted, readjusting to the time change. He kept rubbing his eyes.

He'd called his mother. Horribly distraught by the news, Adam had to listen to her break down on the other side of the phone. He knew for a fact he was done crying. He'd cried too much for the past few weeks. Then after his mother was done he listened to his father break down 10 times worse than she did.

Drew and his dad were everything to each other. He was the first one to push him on when he wanted to join the army. The one who taught him how to throw a football. The one who next to Adam, always had his back.

Now to get a phone call that he died in the army? It was the worst possible way to hear it next to in person.

"I know dad…I miss him to…No I don't know if there'll be a funeral… I love you to…bye." He had spend an hour and 7 minutes on the phone with his parents. He proceeded to lay down in the guest rooms bed. He was so tired and it was almost 7. He remembered going through this in Afghanistan. He closed his eyes until he heard Emily crying.

As a natural reaction, he sat up and went to go tend to her but Cathy walked out of the office,

"No no, I've got it."

"…Kay." he watched her go upstairs. He found himself sitting on the steps, waiting for her to come back. It was only 5 minutes and she sat next to him. She put herself in a forced embrace with him, wrapping her arm around him and laying her head on his shoulder. They rocked back and forth gently for a good 15 minutes.

-X-

Adam dreamed of Andrew that night. He dreamed he was saying his goodbye one last time. But he didn't know it was a dream and he tried to get him to stay, trying to pull him onto the land of the living. Meanwhile, he was clenching his bed sheets and making a faint, whimpering sound in his sleep.

"Drew-" he jerked upward in his bed, a shocked gasp escaped as he let out another breath. He looked at the digital clock, 2:03 A.M. He got out of bed and walked into the downstairs bathroom. He gazed at his reflection, he was sweaty, eyes exhausted from crying for the past 3 weeks still had some burn marks from the battle. He sat on the floor, sighing. He still couldn't calm down. To try and get his mind on something else, he lifted his pants leg and gazed at the stitch that ran from his ankle to an inch away from his knee cap. He traced it with the edge of his finger, still not getting his mind off the fact that he killed Drew-

That…the Libyans killed Drew.

Adam had horrible guilt…he let Drew die he told himself. If he had fought harder for the two soldiers to let go he could've done something. If he hadn't stood in the way of the mother fucking tank he'd be alive right then. He'd been having this problem ever since he checked out of the hospital. A psychiatrist had a word for it; Survivors Guilt. Although Adam said he had himself to blame for it. He'd done nothing to help Drew when he died.

That's the best he could do? Cry and faint?

He couldn't live with himself anymore…

After a quiet search in the kitchen, he found Cathy's ibuprofens in the cabinet…18 in one hand.

It was over in seconds.