Me: Hey people! I'm back!
Riku: (dryly) Woohoo. We really missed you.
Me: Hey, I'm the sarcastic one here, Riku! Yes, anyway, our battle tonight was suggested by Stitch Guy. Our contestants are Stitch and Sora vs Riku and Mickey!
Stitch: Jabbi-waga! (starts freaking and jumping all over Sora)
Sora: Aaah! OK, I love you too!
Riku: (shakes head) What a joke…
Roxas: Don't take my line!
Riku draws Souleater as Mickey calls up his Kingdom Key D. Sora, with a drooling Stitch clamped onto his shoulder, takes out Kingdom Key and steps into the arena. He reaches up to pry Stitch off of him, but the little alien growls rabidly and Sora quickly retracts his hand. Riku chuckles from across the field. "Have a new best friend, Sora?" he calls. Sora looks at the drool soaking through his whole sleeve and grimaces. Riku laughs while Mickey stifles a giggle. Sora groans. "Just start the match."
The gong sounds. Riku and Mickey charge forward and Stitch immediately unlatches his teeth from Sora's vest and pounces forward, fangs bared. Riku screams and is knocked backward as the little monster tackles him to the ground and starts gnawing on his arm. Mickey stops in shock, which allows Sora to leap up behind and swing. Mickey quickly parries and leaps back out of range. Riku lies on the ground yelling, Stitch ripping his vest apart until it's in shreds. "Joogi-wala!" Stitch screams, leaping for Mickey now. The mouse cries in alarm and raises his key, the blue furball clamping his teeth around the shaft. Riku leaps up from the ground and runs to take out Sora while his own teammate is dealing with the other foe. Sora parries Riku's swings, then unleashes a Fira spell. Riku blocks it by using his own dark fireball to stop it midair. Sora follows through with an upward swing, knocking Riku's guard away. Then he swings horizontally to slice Riku's midsection but the boy back handsprings away from it.
By this point, Stitch is going mental. Leaping at his opponent relentlessly, he is unable to get to his prey, who is blocking and flipping out of range non-stop. Stitch yells in anger and lunges on more time. This time, when Mickey lifts his key as a guard, the blue creature bites and snaps right through it. Mickey's eyes fill with fear as he is bombarded by the lethal furball. Riku and Sora watch in utter shock as the king is literally devoured by the monster. Sora nearly passes out and Riku pales, becoming sick to his stomach. "That was solid metal that he just bit through," Sora stutters. "Yeah, and that was King Mickey that he just ate!" adds Riku. Then, drooling and foaming at the mouth, Stitch turns to face both of them.
Sora and Riku scream and run as Experiment 626 follows close behind, gnashing his teeth. "FOR GOODNESS SAKE, HELP US OUT DOWN HERE!"
Me: Ok, ok…(hurls barrel down to them)
Riku: What good is THIS gonna do?
Sora shoves Riku toward Stitch and hides behind the barrel. "Aah, what are you doing Sora?" Riku yells as Stitch closes in. He clambers on top of the barrel, pointing his key at the alien. "No, no! Bad creepy blue thing!" Stitch growls and hisses, gnashing at Riku's feet. Riku steps backward to avoid his toes being chomped and flips the barrel out from under him in the process. He yells and crashes on top of Sora while the barrel dumps over, spilling water onto Stitch. He yells in dislike and tries to rub the water off of his fur. He rolls on the ground, panting and squirming.
Me: You didn't think I was helping, did you? But Stitch hates water, so take that Riku!
Riku: We are still gonna die down here!
Sora: Riku, it's coming back….!
The blue monster charges forward again, leaping through the air with mouth open wide, aimed to attack Riku. The boy grabs Sora and pushes him in front as a human shield. Stitch's mouth fits around the whole of Sora's head. The Keybearer screams. "AAAH! HELP! IT'S DISGUSTING IN HERE!" He starts whacking Stitch with the Keyblade. Eventually, the creature lets go and drops to the ground, but Sora has swung one more time and ends up hitting himself in the head. "Ow!" Stitch now jumps at Riku. The teen screams and runs.
Sora: C'MON! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!
Me: (eating popcorn) Actually, it is.
Sora: You have a sick sense of humor! NO ONE ELSE THINKS THIS IS ENTERTAINING!
Roxas: You have to admit it is pretty funny…
Sora: AAAAH!
Me and Roxas: X)
Riku has now been tackled to the ground and is being gnawed on. He screams as the alien starts eating him. Within thirty seconds, he is devoured completely. Sora pales and tries to sneak away. Stitch sees him and begins chasing him. Sora screams like a girl and runs around like a chicken with its head cut off.
Axel: Y'know, it was funny, but now this is just a slaughterfest…
Me: Y'know what? I'm really bored tonight. I'm amused by anything. And even on a normal day, this would amuse me XD
Axel: (facepalm)
Sora makes a mad dash for the exit only to have Stitch assault him from behind. Knocked over, the Keyblade Master is defenseless as the monster unleashes his wrath. Laughing maniacally after another meal, he begins to climb up into the audience. Everyone screams and flees as he searches for more innocent victims. The arena becomes his buffet and everyone abandons each other and just tries to save themselves. But the doors are locked! No one can escape! Axel, Roxas, and I are cornered against the back wall.
Axel: STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Me: Not particularly!
Roxas: It was nice knowing you guys! (squints eyes shut)
Stitch's eyes gleam evilly as he closes in.
Me: (snaps out of a daydream) Well…I couldn't decide which suggestion to use but…it's not one involving Stitch, that's for sure!
(Hope you enjoyed and found it as disturbingly funny as me XD I love stitch, btw. I will use him in another REAL fight if you want me to. But i thought this would be great too)