Haja

Chapter 7

Harry contemplated the new name as he rode through the corridors in Snape's arms. They arrived at the Great Hall before Harry had reached any conclusions. Snape put the cat down and let him walk on his own to the table that was set up in the center of the room for the summer residents.

Harry sat back on his haunches. He couldn't very well claim a chair in his animagus form. Severus snapped his fingers and an elf, Dobby, appeared at his side. He leaned down to whisper in the elf's ear and Dobby beamed a smile down at the cat before popping away.

Albus and Hagrid had come in and settled into chairs. Hagrid raised his hand and was about to greet Harry when Albus laid a hand on his arm, looking pointedly at Draco. Hagrid scratched his head and ran a hand through his scruffy beard instead of the planned greeting. Harry trotted over and wound around the half-giant's feet.

"This is a fine cat ya have here, Professor Snape," Hagrid said, as he reached down to scratch the cat's head.

Severus nodded. "Yes. He is a recent acquisition. He seems intelligent enough, I suppose."

Harry moved over to him and stretched himself up to rest his front paws on Snape's thigh. He extended his claws and gave another stretch so that they dug into the flesh beneath the robes. Snape gave a start and reached down to gently push the cat away. "No begging. You will get your own meal in due time."

Harry sneazed at that. Everyone else was digging into chicken. He could smell it! He was probably going to be served up with more potion-laced catfood back in the dungeons. If Draco wasn't here, he could transform back to human and enjoy a real meal!

Just then, Dobby reappeared beside them and set a small plate down beside Snape's chair. On it was a pile of diced chicken, the same as what was on the platters above him. Harry gave an appreciative meow before settling down with contentedly closed eyes to delicately eat the meat. Above him, conversation flowed and the Headmaster was asking Draco how his first day had gone.

Harry was about to tune it all out to wash his paws when he heard Albus ask, "If you'd like to leave your new familiar here with me while you're away, I'd be happy to look after him, Severus."

Harry perked up his ears. Snape was leaving? He was leaving Harry here? His breath caught in his chest and he looked up at the man. The meow that slipped out wasn't meant to sound so pitiful, but he couldn't help it. He wasn't even used to being with the man and here was another change to deal with.

Snape bent down and picked him up, settling him easily in his lap. Harry closed his eyes under the petting hand, wondering if the man understood what he was feeling.

"I haven't decided whether or not to take him along, Headmaster. Draco and I will be going to the South American rainforests. It could be quite dangerous for a small animal. I would hate to risk him."

Albus looked over his glasses at Snape and then down at the cat he was stroking. "Well, let me know. I'm sure I can be entertainment enough for him."

"Haja is still getting used to the castle. I wouldn't wish for him to get lost while I'm away."

"Haja? Is that the name you decided upon?"

"Yes. It seemed appropriate."

Draco wiped his mouth with his napkin. "You didn't tell me what it meant."

Snape began to gently scratch behind Harry's ears and the cat couldn't help the purr that began to rumble up his throat. "Various African translations of the word seem to mean 'need' or 'request', while some other languages use it to term 'comprehension', and 'understanding'."

Albus's eyes were shining. "Yes, I'm sure there are many definitions and meanings. It has an exotic ring to it, if I might say so; quite appropriate for you both."

Snape sneered back at him, but Albus noted the telling smirk under the sneer.

Draco sat back. "It's just a cat. We never had such common animals at the mansion. Mother was allergic, I believe. Anyway, they seem sneaky to me. Look at Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris. She always looks out to get somebody."

Albus gazed at Draco levelly. "Mrs. Norris is a magical animal and her duties are to help Mr. Filch keep watch over the castle and its inhabitants."

Draco flushed and fell silent as he turned his eyes back to his plate.

Albus stood up. "Well, my friends, another day draws to a close. I have some things that need doing before bedtime, so I wish you all a good-night."

Everyone stood then and people began to go to the door. Hagrid stopped them, reaching out to pet the cat in Snape's arms. "I'd be glad to watch out for the little fella, Professor, if he needs to stay here. Just so you know."

"Thank you Hagrid. We will keep that in mind as we make our plans."

Draco stepped up. "See, Severus? The cat will just be in the way. Maybe Filch would let him stay with Mrs. Norris… he could be her cat apprentice or something."

Harry hissed at the blond, ears laid back against his head. Draco looked at the cat, arching a blond brow. "Hmm. One would think he actually understood what I said." He turned and walked out of the room.

Severus murmured, "Easy, Haja. We'll work it out." Harry relaxed in the arms that held him and allowed the man to carry him back to the dungeons. He really should be walking, but the thought of the distance made him queasy. Severus apparently thought so too, since he had carried Harry without question.

Harry went immediately to the hidden door when they got back to Snape's quarters. The small door appeared and he pushed through it before Draco got there.

Once inside his room, Harry transformed back to human and went to the desk. He was bent over the journal, writing about the last hour's experience, when there was a knock at the door. He got the marauders Map out and quickly looked to see that it was Snape alone who stood outside before he opened the door.

Snape raised an inquiring eyebrow as he came to sit in the chair that Harry had just vacated. Harry sat on the end of the bed and drew his feet up, watching Snape take note of the journal.

"I see that you are making use of the animagus exercise of journaling."

Harry nodded, "It helps, just like the book said, to get things clear in my mind." He looked down at the hands he had wrapped around his knees. "Dinner was a little…"

"A little disconcerting?" Snape finished.

Harry looked up at him for a few moments as he thought about it. Then he nodded again. "Yeah. That's a good word. Are you really going to be leaving me here?"

The question had popped out before Harry could stop it and now he hurried to add, "Sorry, sir. I was just surprised to hear that you had travel plans so soon…"

"Harry, I was planning to discuss it with you. I was only waiting until you were a bit more settled." He stared at Harry, gauging his reactions as he continued.

"I will be taking Draco with me to South America. The next moon phase will bring a very rare vine to bloom and it is an essential ingredient in a potion I have been developing. It's in a very remote river valley along the Amazon."

Harry stared back, his eyes shifting from one of Severus's to the other. After a few moments he asked, "Are you letting Dumbledore send me back to the Dursley's then?"

Severus had not expected that reaction at all. He had thought that Harry would ask to go to Grimmauld Place, or to stay with Hagrid, or as a last resort, to go along on the expedition… but he never would think that Harry would believe that he would be sent back to that torture …

Severus reached out and placed his hand on Harry's. Harry jumped and started to pull away before he simply tightened his fingers together as they clasped his knees.

"I told you that I would not allow you to be sent back there. I give you my word; that will never happen." He waited until Harry gave a jerky nod. "Albus will let you stay here in the castle I believe, since Hagrid has offered to keep watch."

Harry looked up at him and asked quietly, "Can I go with you?" He didn't understand why it made such a difference, but somehow he felt a need to stay with the man, no matter what their previous relationship had been like. "I don't want to be with Dumbledore right now." He lowered his eyes again and was about to apologize for asking when the large hand over his squeezed once and let go.

Severus stood up and paced the room slowly as he spoke. "It will be a dangerous journey. My inclination is to say no… having to watch out for one teenager will be quite enough."

Harry started to speak and Severus held up a hand to stop him. "It will be even more difficult, if not impossible, for you to maintain the secret of who you are, with Draco about." He paced some more.

"I am reluctant to leave you here, however." He looked down at the boy as he said that, his face drawn in a grimace of unaccustomed feeling.

Harry looked up at him at those words, hope swelling in him. But the look on Severus's face made him look away again.

"Don't worry, I'll be okay here. Hagrid will be here." Harry tried to speak with an assurance he didn't quite feel.

"If it was just Hagrid, I'd be unconcerned."

Something in Severus's voice had Harry looking at him again. The man was now standing at the door to the garden, looking out at a moonlit sky. "Albus has always had your interests in mind when he makes plans… but he has not always gone about them in a…." he paused, seeming to be at a loss for words.

Harry suddenly felt an anger at the Headmaster. "He's never been totally honest with me, has he?" Snape spun around at the anger in Harry's voice and stared down at him with dark eyes. Harry swallowed hard but went on.

"He says he had my interests at heart, but if that was true, wouldn't he have told me about Sirius's will? He knew how upset I was, thinking that everyone I ever had was gone…" He gritted his teeth against the upwelling tears, "He should have known that anything that they left to me would have helped me feel still connected—"

Severus walked slowly back to where Harry sat with his head face down on the drawn up knees. "Perhaps he thought that it would make your pain worse—"

"How??" Harry leaped up off the bed and threw his arms out in question. "How could it have made the pain any worse? The man I had just found out was my godfather was dead and gone! He was the only one that wanted me for just being me! Maybe knowing I had a real house—a place that could be my home—maybe that would have made me feel better!"

Severus snorted softly. "Surely you jest. Grimmauld Place is hardly a place that one wants to call home."

Harry was suddenly toe to toe with the taller man and he growled, "It would have been far better than what I did have!"

Severus blinked as he recalled just what he and Minerva had found on their visit to the Dursley's. he gave Harry a nod. "My apologies."

Harry stepped back in shock. Shaking his head he stumbled backwards until he fell onto the bed. Severus reached out and Harry recoiled. "Who are you? Severus Snape would never apologize to me."

Severus stood there, taking in the stricken face of the boy, seeing that he was deadly serious. He really believed that he had to be an imposter!

Drawing himself up into a familiar stiff stance, he glared down his nose at Harry. "I assure you, Mr. Potter, that I am your hated Potions Master. I am simply attempting to make up for past--- mistakes."

Harry had crawled backwards until he was sitting up against the headboard of the bed. He had his arms around his knees again and his eyes were slitted like the cat inside him.

"I don't believe you. The man I know would never even consider it. You had me going for a bit, I even believed you after you sat down in the floor with me. But Snape would never, ever, apologize to me. That's where you failed."

Severus watched Harry sit there and shake for several more moments. In a state that he had never found himself in before, he had no words, no clue, as to how to handle this moment. Harry watched him just as closely and somehow his wand had found its way into his hand. Harry held it pointed at Severus, the grip on it so tight his knuckles were white.

Severus took a deep breath. "Call Dobby to you if you have a need for anything. Perhaps in the morning things will be clearer. Good night."

With that, he turned and walked out the door, closing it softly. Once in the outer room, he called Dobby himself. The little elf stood wringing his hands.

"If Harry calls you, you are to answer immediately. His potions are due to be taken. Try to get him to take them, but do not insist right now. He is upset."

Dobby nodded, pulling at his ears nervously. "Is the Professor wanting Dobby to stay with Harry Potter?"

Severus shook his head. "Fortunately, I have monitoring spells in place in the room. If he has trouble during the night, I will be aware of it. Thank you." He stood staring into the fire after the elf popped away.

One damn night… and already he had made a mess of things. Perhaps Minerva would be a better choice after all…

Back in his room, Harry managed to stop trembling and finally got up and sat in the chair in front of the desk again. Taking up the quill, he turned to a new page and began writing furiously. It was an hour later before he stopped. He was startled to see Dobby standing beside him, holding out vials of potion.

"Harry Potter is needing to take his potions."

Harry reached for the vials and then stopped. "He sent you to give them to me." He frowned and shook his head. "I'm not taking them. Take them away Dobby."

"Please, Harry Potter. You are needing the healing in the potions to get your strength back."

Harry looked at the elf for a few moments. "Can you assure me that they are truly safe?"

The elf lowered his eyes. "Dobby does not know what is in the potions, only that they are for you and that you is needing them to finish getting healed." He looked up at Harry. "Master Snape would not harm you. He is being concerned about Harry Potter."

Harry relaxed a little bit. He had just about written himself into accepting that Severus Snape was in fact trying to help him. There was just a bit of doubt left that he couldn't quite shake.

"Leave them Dobby. Maybe I'll take them later, alright?"

Dobby placed them on the desk and then snapped his fingers. A small tray with a glass of milk and a plate of biscuits appeared. Harry smiled at the elf and impulsively gave the elf a quick hug. Dobby stuffed his hands into his mouth to muffle the sobs of emotion and popped away before Harry could say anything else.

A/N: Websters- online- dictionary dot org gives various definitions in some African dialects and languages for the word haja. Mostly, it seems to mean to need or to request. Harry is in need here, so it is appropriate in that sense.

It is also a derivative of Harry + James, Ha Ja.

Terrifica Oneiroi correctly guessed it first. I thought of it before I knew there was a manga or anime character with the same name. Bonomania was 2nd , DebsThe SlytherinSnapeFan was 3rd .

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