Haja

Chapter 8

('''…..''' = catspeak)

The monitoring alarms went off at 3 in the morning, and Severus made his way quickly to the door of Harry's room. He didn't bother to knock, but went directly to the bedside and looked down at the thrashing boy.

Sweat was beaded on Harry's forehead and upper lip. He was tossing his head back and forth, mumbling incoherently. A few words stood out in the wimperings-- "no Dudley…. please… no more water… can't breath…"

Severus saw the vials on the desk as he looked around the room. One of them was Dreamless Sleep, but Harry had not taken it. Severus picked it up and thumbed off the stopper. He waved his wand over it, murmuring an incantation. The potion inside swirled up in a spiral and Severus directed it down to the boy. As he murmured another spell, the potion hovered over Harry. In a slow glittering fall, the potion fell over the boy's belly and was absorbed through the sheets, through the nightshirt, and through his skin. Severus knew that it had successfully entered Harry's bloodstream when the thrashing about ceased and a relaxed and peaceful look came over his face.

Severus drew up the chair to the side of the bed and sat down. Steepling his fingers, he rested his chin on them as he rested his elbows on his knees. He knew that Harry wouldn't be awakening any time soon now. If the Dreamless Sleep had been taken at bedtime, he would have awakened at a normal morning hour. Now, he would likely sleep until noon.

Administering the potion in that manner was a way used in instances where it could not be administered orally; usually, during battles where the witch or wizard was injured beyond the ability to take any potions on their own, or in hospital where the patient was not in their right mind to follow instructions. Severus had learned how to administer potions this way to be able to give them to torture victims of the Dark Lord. He would give them what they needed to keep them alive a bit longer for the Death Eater's pleasure. He had always hated his part in doing this. While he didn't participate in the actual torture, it seemed to him almost as bad to be prolonging lives that were doomed to a painful death.

He gave a weary sigh as he continue to stare at the sleeping boy. Sitting back, he noticed the journal on the desk. With narrowed eyes, he briefly thought how wrong it would be for him to read it without permission. Then he thought about the fact that he was, for all intents and purposes, the boy's animagus mentor. This was an animagus learning journal. He needed to read it to be able to coach his student. Nodding his head silently at that reasoning, he picked up the journal and began to read.

************

Harry awakened slowly, laying still to catalog the way his body felt, sensing the room around him, trying to remember the night before. A careful stretch told him that his broken bones had mended and the internal bruising was less painful. The lingering muzziness was familiar from the times he had taken Dreamless Sleep. But he had refused it last night. Dobby had tried to give it to him and he had not taken it. Instead, he had poured out his emotional struggle into the journal, trying to equalize the feelings he had as a human and the feelings that he had as a cat. When he had finally crawled under the comforter, he had fallen asleep before he could remember to take the potions on the desk.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He picked up his glasses and slid them into place, squinting when things didn't come into familiar clarity. He looked over and made out the empty vial on the desk. Beside it, his journal lay open. Reaching over, he pulled it into his lap.

Below his own handwriting, there was a new paragraph in the spidery scrawl he recognized as Snape's.

'You are doing well with the journaling. It may seem as if your thoughts are in chaos, but they will order themselves soon enough, if you continue to apply yourself so diligently.

You had a nightmare in the early morning hours. You need your rest in order to complete your physical healing, and I took the liberty of spelling the Dreamless Sleep directly into your stomach. While you may be angry at the intrusion, your well-being is now my responsibility.

Call for Dobby, and he will bring you breakfast, or lunch if you prefer. Once your morning lessons are finished, Haja may join us in the laboratory. Please remain on the floor, as the brewing today will be sensitive.

We will continue the discussion about the journey later today.

SS'

Harry read the note again, frowning. He vaguely recalled the nightmare. He definitely recalled sitting here with Snape and daring to ask him to take him when they went on the expedition to harvest potions ingredients. The thought of staying here, the possibility that Dumbledore might send him back to Privet Drive, the recall of discovering that Dumbledore had kept his inheritances a secret from him… well, those thoughts were so disturbing that the words to actually ask something of Snape were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He was horrified that he had dared to request such a thing.

He was a burden that Snape would be glad to have a break from. His face burned, remembering how he had almost begged the man. But here, in the journal, Snape had not taken the opportunity to belittle his emotional state. Instead, he had assured him again that things would continue to get better. Harry remembered then how he had accused the man of being an imposter.

Well, who wouldn't?! Snape was hardly behaving the way Harry was used to. He was being… nice. While Harry deeply appreciated it, it was not at all what he was accustomed to…from anyone. Except perhaps Remus, Ron, and Hermione. But they weren't here right now, and it looked like it would be awhile before he saw any of them.

He showered before he summoned Dobby. While he ate a small omelet, he began to think about what the Headmaster had done. He had always trusted the old wizard, but now, he wasn't so sure anymore. Why had he not told Harry about his inheritance? Why did Harry have to stay with the Dursley's any more at all, if he had a house of his own? Despite what Snape had said about it being less than an ideal house, Harry had really meant what he said. It would have been better there, with Kreacher and the screaming portrait of Sirius's mother, than at Privet Drive. Harry had a feeling that there were still more things that the Headmaster had left unsaid. And if that was true, it gave Harry an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. That was why he had dared to ask to go along with Professor Snape… that was the lesser of two evils…

He concentrated as much as he could on the animagus text, trying to save the thinking about the Headmaster until later. After he had meditated he stood before the mirror in the bathroom.

The reflected Harry stared back with wide green eyes. Harry could still see remnants of bruising on his face, but he ignored it. Focusing on his eyes, he thought of the cat inside. It was eerie to see his own pupils contract and slide into vertical black slits. Taking off his glasses, he was surprised to see that his vision actually improved without them. Frowning, he put them on again and noted the blurriness.

He focused on making his eyes go back to human and his vision remained clear. Maybe this was a side-effect of being an animagus? If so, he wasn't going to argue with it. He would be glad to be rid of the clunky ugly frames his aunt had gotten from a local charity bin.

He put the glasses in his bedside drawer before transforming into the entire cat. The door opened for him easily this time, now that he knew how to operate it. Out in the sitting room, he paused to look around. He noted the absence of Slytherin green and meowed softly. That was unexpected. The room was furnished with golden oak tables and bookcases. A desk was over near the fireplace, as if the Potions Master liked to sit and be able to look into the flames while he was working. The side chairs were soft brown leather high backs with rounded armrests. The round table between them had a tea service set out. It was in a pattern that used intertwining vines without any floral embellishment.

Haja jumped up on one of the chairs to see if it was as soft as it appeared. He barely restrained himself from stretching out claws to test it. Snape would certainly frown on that, he was sure. The sofa was also leather, in a darker tone of brown. Throw pillows in muted greens, rusts and yellows lay against the ends. A pale green throw was over the back.

He wandered around the room, sniffing as he went. It felt strange to be nosing around like this, but the cat part of him was telling him that it was a part of becoming accustomed to his environment. When he had made a full circle of the room he turned his attention to the other doorways. One was firmly closed and a careful sniff at the space near the floor told him that this was Snape's private rooms. The other door was the one he had gone through the day before, the one leading to Snape's private laboratory.

Haja put his paws on the door and a smaller door appeared. He nosed through it and saw that the two Slytherins were again at opposite ends of the room, both brewing, standing over cauldrons with high flames underneath. As before, Draco was looking less than his usual elegant self. Haja couldn't help the happy meow at seeing that the blond was not having fun at the moment.

Draco looked over and called out, "Your cat is back, Severus," giving an impatient swipe of the hair on his brow with a robe sleeve. This time he remained with his attention focused on his brewing.

Haja sat back on his haunches by the door and waited for the black clad boots to draw near. He looked up at the Potions Master, green eyes blinking into the dark ones.

"Remember to keep to the floor today, Haja." With that he walked back to his own station, Harry at his heels.

"Do you really believe he understands that?" came the snide question from Draco.

Snape didn't respond, but returned his own attention to the cauldron . Haja sat there for a moment, not certain what he should do now. After a bit, he began to sniff and explore the perimeter of the lab, much as he had done in the other room. The perspective was very different from the floor. He noted that the stones were spotless. Even for a dungeon floor made of such old material, it was free from any extra dirt. It smelled of cleaning spells. He had never noticed before that cleaning spells had their own scent.

He sat for a long time looking up at the shelves holding all the potion ingredients. It towered up towards the ceiling for what seemed an endless distance. The smells coming from them were fascinating. The temptation to jump up on the first shelf to get a closer vantage point was making his muscles twitch.

"Haja, come." Snape's voice sounded just as he was about to give in to that temptation.

Haja walked back to the man's place and saw that now there was a small flat pillow on the floor under the work bench. It was just out of reach of the booted feet. Haja sniffed it. There was a familiar scent… one that was welcoming. He felt the light warming spell as he stepped onto it. It was a welcome contrast to the cold stones. Curling up with his paws folded under seemed an easy thing to do, even in a room inhabited by two Slytherins. The rumble from his own chest soothed him into sleep again.

He awakened to the sound of raised voices.

"You will do as I ask and study the books I provided. You wished to know what an apprenticeship would be like. I am giving you what you wished." Snape's voice was heavy with impatience and anger and Haja jumped to his feet. The man's boots were right in front of him. "I am growing weary of your harping on it."

Draco's voice was just as irate and the sound of his heels on the floor had Haja whirling to where they were planted on the other side of the work bench.

"I thought you understood that I wanted to help you this summer, be away from the mansion and away from the pressure of my father wanting me to take the Dark Mark! I never meant for this to turn into an 18 hour a day class!"

"Part of helping me, as you put it, requires more knowledge than you currently have. You are the one who specifically asked for an apprenticeship—"

"But—"

"Do not interrupt me again!" The bench over Haja's head creaked as if Snape had leaned on it to get nearer Draco. In a noticeably calmer voice Snape continued. "I am not insensitive to your desire to avoid the Dark Mark. You are too young to make such a life-altering decision. Being here is one of the only ways your father would allow such an opportunity to pass for the time being."

"Then, Severus, please, don't send me back…" Haja heard the plea in the other boy's voice and he felt a stab of pity for him. That bore remembering so he could write about it in his journal. He never would have thought that he could feel pity for a Malfoy.

"Idiot boy… I wouldn't. I am simply insisting that you stick with the terms of our agreement. The duties are not that onerous, Draco. You just have to stop believing that you are above the mundane tasks."

Haja had sat, his head swiveling back and forth at their feet as each of them spoke. Now there was silence. Draco shifted his feet after a few minutes, his toe scuffing the stones. His voice was more subdued.

"I know. I'll do better, Severus. Really, I will."

Severus's voice was also much calmer. "See that you do. I wish to be honest with your father and mother when they ask for a report of your progress. They see this as a way of helping you determine your course in life."

"Oh please!" Draco was impatient again. "They want to see how I can best serve that maniac."

"You mustn't say things like that Draco. You never know who might be in a position to overhear you."

"The only other thing around is your stupid new cat, Severus. I'm quite sure he won't be in a position to give us away."

Severus stepped rapidly around the workbench then, his boot heels ringing against the stone. Haja had his back arched at the sudden movement and noise, a low hiss escaping him as he watched the progress of the boots. They came to rest right in front of the others and those were backing up at their approach. Even though Haja couldn't see through the wood bench, he could envision Snape grabbing Draco by the robe front and shaking him, if the movement of his shoes was any indication. They jerked forward towards the larger boots and Haja heard Draco gasp. Snape's voice was dangerous in its low intensity.

"Never, ever, take anyone or anything for granted, Mr. Malfoy. That will get you killed…after you are heinously tortured."

The smaller boots were pushed back away from the others and Draco took a stumbling step to keep his balance. Snape's boots turned and strode out of the room, the door slamming in his wake.

Haja stood there for a frozen moment before he scrambled out from under the table and ran to the door. He looked over his shoulder as he stood up on hind legs to press his paws on the door.

Draco was sitting down on a stool, his head dropped into his hands. The door appeared and Haja quickly nosed his way through.

In the sitting room, Snape was over at a side table, pouring himself a drink from a bottle of amber liquid. He stood before the fire for a few moments before he sat down in one of the armchairs.

He rested his head against fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, the other hand dangling the filled glass over the arm of the chair.

Haja went to the door of his room, intent on getting away from the tension in the air. At the wall where his door was hidden, he turned back and looked at the man. Haja knew that he posed as a Death Eater in order to spy for the Order. It had sounded like maybe Draco knew that as well, but Harry was sure that no one would have told him. Snape's words had been careful not to reveal his true allegiances, without once casting aspersions on the either side. It had to be an exhausting job to keep up with what to say to whom.

Before he could examine why he would do such a thing, the cat in him had walked back to the man and leaped up into his lap. Snape raised dark eyes to meet his questioning green ones. His hand came down and stroked along his back a couple of times. Harry purred his pleasure at the fingers scratching his ears.

Haja made a spot for himself beside the Potions Master, between the chair side and his thigh. Snape didn't protest, and in fact, he continued to pet the little cat, the tension melting out of him as Harry sat there allowing it.

'''Does he know that you're a spy?''' Haja meowed softly, hoping he wouldn't anger the man into tossing him out of the chair.

"No."

'''He believes that you are loyal to Voldemort?'''

"Yes."

'''I'm sorry…'''

"For what are you apologizing now?"

'''For all you have to deal with.'''

They were silent for a time, both staring into the fire.

'''Why do I trust you more when I'm a cat?'''

There was no response from Snape on that.

Harry settled more, drawing his paws up underneath his body. Snape sipped at the glass silently until Draco came out into the room. He set the glass on the side table but made no move to stand. The fingers scratching Haja's ears suddenly felt tense and Haja opened his eyes to look up at Snape. His expression was as blank as always, no hint of tension there.

Draco came to stand in front of Snape and after a few moments he looked down at the man, his hands behind his back in that characteristic stance that Haja remembered from all these years at Hogwarts. It was the attitude of privilege, money, and it said that no matter what happened, Draco had his pure blood pride.

"I apologize, sir. I have a great deal to learn about potion brewing and about life. I would appreciate it if you would keep me on."

Snape sat there for a very long silent moment before rising to stand. He put his own hands behind his back and mirrored the stance that Draco held.

"I agree to extend another chance, Mr. Malfoy. Please be prepared to assist me in brewing the remainder of the schools medicinal potions tomorrow. I plan to be done with it before we go on the expedition." His voice held no anger. He simply ignored the incident just past and moved on to the next days planning.

Haja saw that Draco was aware of that by the slight twitch of a jaw muscle. But he only nodded once before turning stiffly to the outer door. Once there, he turned and said, "Good night, Professor."

"Draco." Snape's voice and the calling of his given name caused Draco to stop and wait.

"Draco, you will always be my godson. As such, you hold a special place with me. But you must see that a business arrangement is a different situation and must be treated with respect."

"Yes sir… Severus. I understand that now. I won't try to take advantage of our relationship again."

The outer door closed behind him softly and with a final click. Haja sat up in the chair and watched Snape rub the bridge of his nose again and sigh. The sound made Haja's fur twitch in sympathy, although he couldn't understand why that would be.

Snape finally turned back to him and said, "You should spend some time in human form while you can. Bring your books out here if you wish."

Haja jumped down and went to his door. Inside his room he transformed and gathered his journal and animagus book. Back in the sitting room, Snape was at the desk, writing something with his full attention. He didn't even glance up when Harry came back and sat down in the floor in front of the sofa.

Harry took that as a sign not to interrupt him and he opened the animagus text to his next reading.

…..There will always be tendencies for traits to cross over from the human to the animal and from the animal to the human. This is what makes the animagus such a useful tool to the witch or wizard. Depending on the animal involved, such traits will assist them and enhance their lives….

….The responsible witch or wizard will not ignore the repercussions of indulging traits that are undesirable. For example, one would not wish to display the ability to scratch behind the ears with a hind foot while out in human form. While this example may be humorous, there are many instances where it would not be, and the animagus student should spend much time in tending to these thoughts in order to be wholly successful…

….. A worst case scenario would be when the animal mind becomes too much in charge and the human thought processes revert to a permanent primitive state….

…..As for a reverse example, a human with excellent problem-solving abilities will do well to cultivate those same thought processes while in animal form…..

Harry looked up at Snape and out of habit pushed his glasses up on his nose, only to find that he wasn't wearing them. Looking back down at the book and back at Snape and then around the room, he realized that his vision was very clear.

"Sir…" he said softly.

Snape looked over at him and raised an eyebrow in question.

"I don't seem to need my glasses anymore. The book says that we can keep some traits from our animagus. Do you think that I am able to keep a cat's vision while I'm human?"

Snape regarded him for some time, observing the face that was clear of obstructive lenses, and then nodded. "Yes. Very good, Potter…Harry. You should journal about it. It will help the trait to remain in place."

Harry could not explain why the small praise made him feel so emotional all of the sudden. It had taken Snape so long to answer that he had begun to regret saying anything, expecting to hear familiar derision coming from the man. When the response was positive instead, he wasn't quite sure how to deal with it.

Turning his face away, he busied himself with closing the book and getting out the journal and a quill, hoping Snape hadn't noticed.

At the desk, Snape watched the boy for a few minutes before resuming his own writing. It seemed that the note he had left had been well received, and that Harry had not taken offense at the administration of Dreamless Sleep. He would have to make sure the boy took it on his own tonight, to avoid another nightmare. He glanced back over at him, sitting there with the journal perched on his knees, writing in his messy scrawl.

He had not asked how Snape was able to answer his questions while he was a cat. But he was figuring his own abilities and traits out still. Snape would either have to stop responding to the cat's conversation, or expect to be confronted about it.

A/N: It is my intention to call Harry Haja while he is in his cat form. I may have missed a few times and labeled him wrong. I'm sure it will happen again, but as long as we all know who we're talking about everything's good, right?

I hope that the animagus text is at least a little bit interesting. I haven't seen it done before, so I am really adlibbing it. It seems as if there would be some sort of instructional manual for animagus transformations, even if they are not readily available to the general student population.

Thank you again for all the reviews and the story alerts. The alerts are great, although sometimes I wonder if you are putting it on alert just so you can see what a mess I've made with the next part! ;)