I have a few stories to share with you. Feel free to skip this part. But Please look at the bottom AN!

Alright. I got like no sleep what so ever (only about 2 hours) and now I'm all alone in my basement typing this and wearing my awesomely cool new Aeropostale jacket and waiting for my family to wake up. I am oh so bored!

My second story is about my christmas eve. (I would love to hear anybody else's holiday stories. Just tell me in a review or PM if you would like to share :]) Most of it I spent talking to my cousin about her new boyfriend. I normally wouldn't do that but there's kind of a big age difference between them. He is 17 and she is 14 and I was a little nervous about what kind of things they are getting into, so I obviously wanted some details. I ended up texting the guy and I'm happy to say I no longer want to shoot him. Yay! lol. Alright that is all!

On with zee story!

KlutzyGirl19 has entered chatroom

MindReader107 has entered the chatroom

Mr. Sensitive has entered the chatroom

IrritableGrizzlyMan has entered chatroom
BiteMe64 has entered chatroom

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Dashing through the sand! With a bomb strapped to my back! I have a nasty plan for Christmas in Iraq! I got through checkpoint A but not through checkpoint B. That's when I got shot in the ass by the U.S. military! OOOH! Jingle bombs! Jingle bombs! Mine blew up you see. Where are all the virgins that Binladin promised meeeeeeeeeee? OOOOOH Jingle bombs! Jingle bombs! U.S. soldiers shot me dead. The only thing that I have left is this towel upon my head. I used to be a man but every time I cough, thanks to Uncle Sam my nuts keep falling off. My bombing days are done. I need to find some work. Perhaps it would be much safer as a convenience store night clerk. OOOH! Jingle Bombs! Jingle Bombs! I think I got screwed. Don't laugh at me because I'm dead or I KILL YOUUUUUUUUUU!!

Mr. Sensitive: Ummm

KlutzyGirl19: Achmed the dead terrorist!

MindReader107: Excuse me?

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Jeff Dunham? U must have heard of him!

MindReader107: Nope.

Mr. Sensitive: No clue.

BiteMe64: definitely not

IrritableGrizzlyMan: *sigh* shall we inform them Bella?

KlutzyGirl19: We shall. He's a hilarious ventriloquist

MindReader107: Interesting.

BiteMe64: What makes him so special?

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Since it's Christmas...

KlutzyGirl19: We will start with peanut's interpretation of 'the night before Christmas'.

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Good choice Bella. I'll be Peanut u be Jeff, ok?

KlutzyGirl19: Alright.

Mr. Sensitive: This should be interesting…

IrritableGrizzlyMan: SHUSH! Do not interrupt!

Mr. Sensitive: jeez sorry.

IrritableGrizzlyMan: That was ur only warning :]

BiteMe64: Okay. Emmett start we'll be quiet

IrritableGrizzlyMan: ok. Here we go

KlutzyGirl19: And now, 'the night before Christmas'

IrritableGrizzlyMan: This would be a good time for the Muslims to go to the bathroom.

KlutzyGirl19: T'was the night before Christmas

IrritableGrizzlyMan: And all the Jews were at the movies…or eating Chinese food

KlutzyGirl19: *gives look*

IrritableGrizzlyMan: I'm just trying to include everybody!

KlutzyGirl19: *Gives look and continues reading*T'was-

IrritableGrizzlyMan: HOLD IT!

KlutzyGirl19: What?

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Who the hell is this T'was?

KlutzyGirl19: It's in the story

IrritableGrizzlyMan: It's old and stupid

KlutzyGirl19: It's tradition

IrritableGrizzlyMan: T'is it?

KlutzyGirl19: T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Why is it always a house?

KlutzyGirl19: What?

IrritableGrizzlyMan: There's kids who live in apartments. How does Santa Claus get to the kids who live in apartments Uncle Jeffy? ....They have to buzz his ass in...BEEP BEEP! *deep voice* Santa Claus

KlutzyGirl19: *gives look* and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring.

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Except for the assholes in 2B

KlutzyGirl19: *gives look*

IrritableGrizzlyMan: They're drunk and hitting each other with menorahs…Oh Vey…that's jewish for holy shit!

KlutzyGirl19: *Gives look*

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Nothing funnier than throwing in a couple of holy shits in the middle of the night before Christmas, huh?

KlutzyGirl19: Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Mouse? You wish! You're in an apartment that's a rat!

KlutzyGirl19: *Shakes head* The stockings were hung by the chimney with care and—

IrritableGrizzlyMan: and believe me the room could use some fresh air..seriously how the hell did that tradition start?

KlutzyGirl19: What?

IrritableGrizzlyMan: hanging up dirty laundry hoping Santa would fill it with goodies. BLEEEH! …I'd like to suck on this candy cane but it smells like dad's feet…good thing the tradition wasn't jock straps..Sally whats in yours? Nuuuts and mommy says they're magically delicious

KlutzyGirl19: You are ruining this story!

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Well you're the pervert eating out of your own jock strap…Isn't this the part where the kids are sleeping with sugar plums dancing in their heads?

KlutzyGirl19: Ya

IrritableGrizzlyMan: What does that mean? I think they're hallucinating; these apartment children are on drugs. Santa's gonna bring me a GI Joe and a bog.. and daddy wants a ho ho ho..it's daddy and the three ho's!

KlutzyGirl19: *gives look* with mommy in her kerchief and I in my cap had just settled down—

IrritableGrizzlyMan: for a big snort of crack…well you have to get to the part where Santa gets busted for breaking and entering. Where the hell is that?

KlutzyGirl19: It's not breaking an entry!

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Oh keep dreaming! I think it qualifies

KlutzyGirl19: as I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound

IrritableGrizzlyMan: He fell down?

KlutzyGirl19: Yes

IrritableGrizzlyMan: didn't they say his face was all red?

KlutzyGirl19: Yes

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Why doesn't anyone ever see this? He is drunk off his ass! This is a horrible, horrible story!

KlutzyGirl19: *gives look* He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

IrritableGrizzlyMan: That's drinking and driving in a furry gay outfit. Covered in soot, he's smoking and you let him in the house cause he said he had something for your kids. *shakes head* What the hell kind of father are you anyway? If I were you I'd check his ID then taser his fat ass, and how fat is this guy anyway? Anyone who lives in a place filled with cookies ought to be a diabetic too, don't ya think? Gotta leave him a plate full of insulin, how 'bout that? Can't wait to hear this story next year, The night before Christmas part two, Santa's on dialysis and he's missing a leg…and all his little dollies have polio sis.

KlutzyGirl19: Can I finish this story?

IrritableGrizzlyMan: oh please do!

KlutzyGirl19: He sprang to his sleigh and his team gave a whistle

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Gotta go quick cause there's a cop with a pistol

KlutzyGirl19: *gives look* But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight.

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Merry Christmas to all oh crap I ran over your bike

KlutzyGirl19: THE END!

BiteMe64: Wow

Mr. Sensitive: was very interesting.

MindReader107: lol

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Merry Christmas!

KlutzyGirl19: Yeah!

BiteMe64: Let's go open presents!

IrritableGrizzlyMan: Yessssss!!!!!

IrritableGrizzlyMan has left chatroom
BiteMe64 has left chatroom

KlutzyGirl19 has left chatroom

MindReader107 has left the chatroom

Mr. Sensitive has left the chatroom

Alright So most of this chapter is from Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special

The link is in my profile thinga majiger :]

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good....morning? huh that doesn't work as well. Oh poo!

:] [: