Too much time for this one. Writer's block is a bish!
The calming sway of the ship, the distant creaking of wooden planks, powerful waves crashing against the bow, salty smelling breezes filling the cabin. Sailing for days, none of this wakes me. No, that power alone belongs to the one whose hand is between my legs. Gingerly dancing, searching, driving me wild. He is the only one who wields such power. The only one I yearn for, the only one I completely submit to. Both my strength and my weakness. I am putty in his hands so I feel it only right to return the favor. I straddle him but barely move. That is left to the gentle rocks of the water. Slow and intoxicating my movements become until it becomes too much. My name escapes his lips as the grip on my hips becomes tighter driving me onto him. I shiver as I reach my peak. My body crashes down on his; our lips meeting in a passionate frenzy. Our tremors slowly subside, and sweet sadness escapes me as I feel him escape me.
I rest my head on his chest and gently hum in content. He smiles and envelops me in his arms. I look out the window and to bright blue sky and the sun reflecting off the sea. I sigh, letting my fingers entangle themselves in his hair.
"You sir are the best wakeup call a girl could ever have." I jokingly purr in his ear. He responds with a chuckle but before he can speak there is a knock at the cabin door.
"Come on you two, this is no luxury cruise." It's Isabela, and it appears she's annoyed by our absence on deck. Fenris and I gaze at each other with loving eyes before taking our time cleaning up, and getting dressed before meeting our displeased captain.
The sun greets me as I walk out the door. I squint at its presence and bring my hand to shade my eyes. It seems Isabela's mood has lightened as she walks towards me.
"Good you're up." she says with a smile. "We'll be docking in a few hours."
I yawn aloud streching my arms as I do so. "What for?" I ask.
She looks over a ledger in her hands and I realize it's the first time I've seen her so coordinated and composed. I guess this is her in her natural element. She takes her time checking off the list in her hands. "Rations mainly. Food, water…"
"Rum, wine?" I intervene with a smile. Isabela giggles then thinks on it. "Maybe…O.K. yes that as well." she takes a moment to look over her clothes and frowns at a tear forming in the side of her blouse. "Hmm, some new cloths might also be good"
"We should also check our surroundings," Fenris decides to add in the conversation as he sits on a stray crate, delicately cleaning his sword. "make sure it's safe enough should we decide to separate." Isabela takes him by surprise by placing a hand on his head and tosseling his hair.
"Nice idea, I guess you're good for something sweet thing." He gives her a look of pure irritation while she places her hands on her hips and smiles.
"Mmm, he's good for a lot of things." I murmur under my breath as I lean onto the ship's railing. Isabela laughs but Fenris looks stumped as he misses the joke. He raises a brow at me to which I shrug, feigning innocence. He gives me another odd look, yet continues tending to his sword. I rest my arms on the railing looking out into the sea; letting the cool air flow over my face, breathing in the sweet smell of the water. I now understand the love Isabela has for the sea. It's calming and unpredictable, beautiful and deadly; it gives life but just as quick can end it. I part of me wants to stay; to sail until my final days, but I know I can't be on a ship forever. I turn around and lean back on the railing. My head hangs back, welcoming the warm rays of the sun.
"So where are we going anyway?" I ponder. Isabela gives me a wondering look then she casually walks over to a podium where a large cloth map lay on top. The map is riddled with points and plot markings; indicating where she's been and places she desires to go. She picks up a compass resting on the podium's edge and begins to study the map intently.
"Let's see, we've been sailing south west for a few days now right?" her tonge curls to the corner of her mouth as she figures our location. "That should put us near Jader."
My head snaps to her direction. "Jader? You mean we're in Orlais?" I ask fairly tense.
"Well, technically we're in Ferelden." Isabela shrugs with a faint smirk.
"But it's still…Orlesian." My eyes narrow on the final word. I'm beginning to feel a bit anxious but still willing to take on this new city.
With a deep sigh I look out to see the sun's haze over the water fading away. I can see the land coming into view. The buildings look much like Kirkwall's Lowtown only with much more color adorning the roofs and balconies. The dock is bustling with people. From this distance they take the shape of insects, harvesting for their queen, forever toiling to satisfy her need. The activity intrigues me as we get closer by each passing minute.
Jader huh? This could get interesting.
My inquisitive nature continues as we finally come into port. While we get ready to depart, I notice Anders is uneasy. He's been shifting about the deck for the past hour.
"What's wrong?" I ask. He gives me a funny look. Understandable since it's been the first thing I've said to him in days. His eye contact only last a few seconds before it's concentrated on the floor.
"I think it would be best if I stayed here." He quietly states.
An eyebrow rises at his choice of words. It's not all the time that Anders considers his actions without Justice getting the way.
"Oh, why's that?" I ponder, knowing full well what he's referring to. It has to have been at least a week since that fatal night in Kirkwall, and given the gravity of the situation, I predict news has traveled fast about a certain apostate and his explosive departure.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about Hawke." He glares.
I put my hands up, shielding me from those hazel daggers and withdraw from our short conversation. "Alright, fine." I let it go and my eyes move over to Merrill who is sitting on a small crate, knees tucked in with her arms wrapped around them facing out to the water. Her melancholy eyes gazing in a reflective stare. My head tilts slightly by the sight of her meditative form.
"Merrill, what about you?"
Apparently I must have taken her out of her concentration by the way she jumps at my voice.
"Oh! Oh no, I wouldn't dare. I would probably get lost in an instant." she giggles nervously, scratching her head. "Besides, I was thinking about counting our bread rations...again." her cheerful voice is followed with a dismal undertone at the end of her sentance. In that instant, I feel sorry for her. She's practically lost everything she's held dear, and now she has to find her place in world all over again. I would ask her to come with us if it were not for Fenris's high disapproval of her. All I do is present a weary smile; half concerned half hopeful.
"Well then you have fun...with that." my tone sounds upbeat as possible, however it clear I'm faking it. Fenris and I leave while Izzy's left talking with the harbor master, no doubt convincing him to wave any docking fees.
I'm surprised by the smell in the air. Not the stench of fish and sweat from the dock workers on Kirkwall, nor the canine musk from deep within Ferelden, but sweet incense and spices. I glance over to see the local market not too far from where we docked. Walking over to the venders I start to notice the glimpses from the townspeople. Some are friendly enough, yet others are puzzled and curious. The unwanted attention makes Fenris uneasy.
"The people here do seem quite...inquisitive. Would you think staying here would be wise?"
I try to shrug it off as mere curiosity though there's worry creeping in the back of my mind.
"I think they're more interested in you my dear." I reply while browsing over some accessories. "You arent very inconspicious." I smile at a funny looking hat which resembles those horrible pointed caps some mages in the circle wear. I grab one and place it on top of his head.
"Here, this is per..." I can barely get the sentence out due to a fit of laughter. Fenris on the other hand does not share in my joy and passes me a disapproving look. I slowly remove the hat and place it back on the stand.
"Oh hey look what's over there?" I quickly change the subject and head over to the inn across from the stand. "Did you want to see about a room?" I quickly walk ahead making Fenris play an unwelcomed game of catch up towards the inn.
There are more stares greeting us in the inn. I ignore them while walking to the bar and wave over the innkeeper. A very well dressed, well groomed man with a holier than thou expression walks up. We may technically be in Ferelden but this guy has Orlais all over him. "Are you vacant? We may need a room for the night." I ask.
His brow raises at me, confused at the question. "Just the night?" he asks with his nose practically up to the ceiling. I look around at the dismile count of people then back to the innkeeper a bit puzzled. "Possibly more. Will that be a problem?"
He waves whatever he was thinking away and nods. "As long as your coin is good." all seems well until he spots something or someone it seems. "Wait is that a Mabari?"
I look down at Xander who gives me a confused whine. "Yes, he's hardly any trouble. Why do you ask?"
He shakes his head. "It's probably nothing; I've just heard few rumors of a fugitive traveling with a Mabari."
I make as little eye contact as possible and my hands start to fumble with a small trinket on the bar "Is he? Well rumors are like assholes everyones got 'em and some of them are dirty...at least that's what they say." I chuckle and look away increasingly anxious.
Yet another odd look from him as to say, "Who says that?" However he's eyes travel to my hound again. "The thing is; they're saying it's a woman." The manner in his tone makes it clear that he hardly believes the statement he just said. I figure even if the information came from a realiable source, I doubt he'd take it to heart.
My heart sinks thinking that I've already been found out and not even an hour in the city. I try my best not to be shaken by his words.
"Really? Well she must be a formidable woman then." I say flatly. The man shrugs, thinking nothing of it. I imagine he doesn't think on a lot of things. I smile to myself but in the corner of my eye I can see a tense gaze upon me. It seems Fenris is growing restless, so I decide to put an end to the pointless banter.
"Anyway, I'm Ferelden; almost all of us have a Mabari imprinted to us." I smile and pray to whatever god there is that this excuse passes. The innkeeper's look leaves my dog and focuses on me once more as I shrug in a matter-of-fact way. "It's like a thing we do, you know." I reassuringly nod until he does the same only slower and with a peculiar look about him. My coin is placed on the bar and our key is given in return, skipping any further pleasantries.
Clearly the keeper's pricy style didn't reflect from the inn. Up the creaky stairs, we travel to our room. The key turns out to be unnecessary as the lock is partially broken from the door. It still locks, but there's not much point. I sigh in frustration as I force the door open.
What a piece of shit.
The thought constantly runs through my head as we settle into the room. However its a step up from the hovel Gamlen had us in so I cant really complain. At least the bed looked comfortable, and had clean blankets. I place my belongings next to the vanity and saunter to the bed in noble fashion.
"Oh what an adventure! I've saved a city from itself, been at sea for days, and went shopping."
Fenris chuckles as I dramatically throw myself on the bed and let out a heavy sigh.
"I'm exhausted!" I may sound relaxed now, but something has been gnawing at me. Try as I might I can no longer ignore it. I frown as I prop myself up from the bed.
"Can I ask you something?" I look over to Fenris, watching as he carefully removes his chest plate with delicate fingers and places it on the vanity.
"Anything you desire." his warm voice is quick to answer while he works off one of his gauntlets. I sigh deeply thinking this is going to be harder then I thought.
"I wouldn't be so hasty, you may not like where this leads." I try to hide the grim tone in my voice but I doubt its working. Meanwhile Fenris finishes removing the remaining gauntlet and turns to face me.
"I'm listening."
I sit up from the bed, an uneasy look still prominent on my face.
"There are a few...concerns that plague me, more so since Kirkwall." I fumble with my fingers deeply concerned with what words to say, and Fenris's expression starts to match my own.
"I see." he states. I hate what I'm about to ask, but I just need to get it over with.
"Look, you saw what happened in Kirkwall, with the mages. Sometimes I'm just so scared that-"
"Hawke, you are stronger than any mage I've ever known. I doubt anything like that would happen." his reassuring voice warms my heart. For a moment I'm able to smile, but it's only a moment.
"It's kind of you to say that, but we both know anything could happen. I have thought myself strong enough but it only takes one mistake; one moment of doubt, even a traumatic event." I shudder at the thought and look away. My eyes close and I let the weight on my mind hang my head slightly.
"We've seen what one choice can change in a person, and now that we're being hunted...If we're caught...I could be…" I shake away the thought. "I'm scared Fenris, for both of us." I look upon him with uncertain eyes. I haven't felt this lost since mother's passing. He only frowns at me. I know not if it's because he knows where this conversation is leading or because it sounds like I'm associating myself with the magisters of Tevinter.
"Nothing will happen to you." he kneels down to the bed and takes my hand. I want to take comfort in his words but the thought is too prominent in my mind.
"Fenris, if anything should happen...if I become-"
I try to say more but he takes my chin and tilts my head up. I'm lost in pools of deep green.
"From the lowliest of peasant to highest monarch, I would kill anyone who tries to harm you." he whispers with a gentle smile. I place a hand on his cheek. I feel the tears welling but I manage to hold back. "You've been reading too much poetry again, but I get your point." I faintly smirk.
He chuckles and inches closer. I stare into his loving eyes but quickly look away. "Fenris, I need to know that you can do this for me." I force myself to look him in the eyes. "If anything changes in me, you need to end it." The demanding tone in my voice surprises me. I lean away while Fenris scowls and slightly reels back from me.
"Why would you ask this of me?" he asks, practically growling in building frustration.
"You're the only person that I can completely trust with something like this." As much as I hate to ask him this, I know he's the only one with the strength to do it. Even Carver with all his talk, wouldn't be able. Templar or no, I'm still his sister.
Fenris throws his arms up and steps away from me. "Do you really think I could do this? To destroy someone that I've grown to care for more than my own life." He paces about the room then his voice dips to a gentle whisper. "Someone I love for a mere possibility."
My ears twitch and my eyes narrow onto him. "What did you say?"
He looks at me puzzled. "Do you really think-"
I shake my head as I make my way towards him. "No, after that."
He shrugs a bit annoyed at my sudden concern about this. "A mere possibility?" Now I feel that he's just toying with me.
"Fenris." I whisper, gently running my hands upon the soft leather that hides behind his chest plate.
"Before that." I nuzzle my nose into his neck as he softly runs his hands up my back.
"Love?" he finally whispers still looking away.
"Yes." I say between a sigh and a faint smile. I place a hand on his cheek, bringing him to face me even though his eyes won't.
"Say it again." I whisper leaning into him, our lips barely touching.
"Love." he says again in a husky whisper. I close my eyes and let the word sink in.
"Thank you." I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.
"The mere possibility of becoming an abomination or being made tranquil scares me to death. To be a husk for a demon to use or to have everything I've felt be nothing but a distant memory. I would rather die than live like that." I look to him, eyes filled with desperation. "Please. I know it will be difficult, but I need you to do this for me."
He won't give an answer and his gaze sill avoids mine. I slowly back away from him, realizing the gravity of my request.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought this on you now." I turn away and head for the door. He takes hold of my arm and gently squeezes.
"Wait, where are you going?" he asks, looking upon me with uncertainty.
"I was thinking a bottle might settle the mood." I turn to him faintly smiling.
"But..." he begins to object but I interrupt him.
"I'm only going down stairs," I try to calm him but can see it's hardly working, so I relent a bit.
"Xander will be with me, just in case." my Mabari responds with a happy bark and trots over to my side. Fenris is still unsure about it but he can't really do anything else to stop me so he just gives me an uneasy smile as I leave the room. I hear the door click behind me and sigh deeply.
Well that went smoothly Lu, great job.
Nerves like butterflies flutter in my stomach.
"Gah, I need a drink." I whisper to myself. Xander gives me a short whine and looks up at me.
"No puppy, the only drink you get is water. Remember when you got into the ale? Father was furious, took him weeks to get the sick from his shoes." I grimace at the memory while another whine escaspes Xander who lowers his head in shame.
Advancing to the bar I notice it looks relatively busy. Either this is the town hot spot or news has gotten around to gawk at the new arrivals. I hear a few murmurs as I walk by but I pay no mind as I make my way to the bar. It takes awhile but I finally get the bartender's attention. Turns out my favorite innkeeper will also be tending to my drinks. I flash him a friendly grin, which he ignores completely, so I figure I should be quick about this.
"Yeah, you wouldn't have any wine back there would you?" He looks at me funny for a moment until I order a bit of brandy with it. He eventually nods and retreats to the back to retrieve it. I start to think that strange looks and awkward exchanges are all I'm going to receive with this one. I pause as I feel harsh eyes upon me but I try not to notice so not to draw too much attention towards my hound and I. Yet something doesn't feel right. Does it normally take this long for a drink? I think nothing of it when my order finally arrives. I don't want to stay here any longer then I should so I finish the drink quickly, pay my bill and head to my room with my wine. Shortly as I turn to walk up the stairs, I feel my legs start to give.
Shit!
Then I hear Xander's growl.
"No boy, you have to run. Get...Fen-" My words are cut short by the room's spinning. I have to grab onto the edge of the bar to keep myself from falling. I need to defend myself but I'm in no condition to cast for fear it might hit an innocent unintentionally or backfire on me. Just as I regain some composure, someone grabs my arm from behind. With the remaining control I have, I spin around and smash the wine bottle on the man's head. He screams and grabs at his face trying to claw away the glass. At that point there's more shuffling and more yelling.
"Get her out of here now!" a man's voice I somewhat recognize.
The innkeeper? This was all just a setup. Was I a target from the moment I walked in?
Cloudy thoughts invade as it seems the entire inn is either moving away from me or closing in. I attempt to pinpoint where my attackers are coming from but everything is swirling. Am I falling? But it feels like I'm still standing up. The world goes dark as I feel someone catch me. Fenris? No, this man's grasp is harsh and cold. I want to fight back but I can't see anything. Maker what's going on?