(9)
The back of my dress is coming undone, but I hardly take notice. I try and walk out of the bathroom casually, but don't succeed. I realize I probably should have waited a few minutes, because Gale's absence won't go unrecognized, but I'm not thinking straight. I return to the table and sloppily bump into it, knocking over the yellow-eyed man's wine glass.
For the rest of the night, I avoid eye contact with Gale. The reception turns out to be extremely boring. Gale's father makes a very long speech. I don't really pay attention. The food is not very good, so I don't eat much. Everyone has far too much to drink, to fill up their stomachs, and people begin wobbling back to their homes before Gale and Madge even cut the cake.
I ask my father if we can leave early, because Penciled Brows is finding a way to mock me in everything she does. He agrees to go after dessert. I stuff my face with cake as soon as the waiter brings it to me. I probably ate a little too fast, because I start to feel queasy. We leave a few minutes after he finishes.
Just as we're exiting, Haymitch bumps into me. He exclaims something, but I can't comprehend his gibberish.
"Katniss, Gale got married! Isn't it wonderful?" he cries out, wrapping his arms around me.
I peel them off and say quietly, "It's just great."
He nods enthusiastically and takes my hand. It's filthy and cold. I try to pull my own hand away, but he holds on tightly. All of a sudden, I feel paper. Yes, indeed, it's paper. Haymitch is slipping me a note.
I give him a look of understanding and clasp the paper in my hands. He lets go of his grip and his face turns somber. We lock eyes for a few seconds. Then, I turn away and slip into the darkness with my father following behind.
We arrive home and I ignore the note, placing it on the bed's side table. I strip off the dress and take a shower. How does District 13 have running water? It's an innocent question, but I still may never know the answer. I make a mental note to ask my father when I can.
I towel dry my hair and put on a t-shirt. I'm more comfortable now then I've been in a long time. It's as if I've made peace with Gale. I sit down on the floor in the bathroom, back against the toilet. My hand finds my stomach and I rub it gently. There is the ticking of the clock on the wall, steady and comforting. Closing my eyes, I breathe a deep sigh. Tranquility.
Then there is a shout from my father and my peace is gone.
"Get out of here! You're drunk!" he yells.
I stand up and peer out of the bathroom. My father is standing at the front door, ordering someone outside to leave. I come up behind him and gasp. It's Haymitch. Why, of all people, would Haymitch come here? We just saw him a few minutes ago! My father must know about the confrontation I had with him this morning, because he's telling Haymitch to leave, literally pushing him out the door.
My eyes open wide in a look of panic. I run back into my bedroom and unfold the note, reading it quickly: You better not tell a living soul about my secret or I will make the world a living nightmare for you. Love Haymitch Abernathy
I'm frightened. Is Haymitch mentally unstable? I saw Maysilee's death with my own two eyes. However, Haymitch seems to think this is his deep, dark secret and if anyone found out, it would be the end of the world.
I try to call out to my father, "don't let him in!" but it seems like Haymitch is stronger than him. I whip around to find he is right behind me. He shuts the door and locks it. I open my mouth to speak, but he clasps his hand over it. I spit. He shakes his hand out and wipes my spit on his shirt.
"I'm here to tell you everything," he says quietly.
"What?" I ask raising my voice.
He puts a finger to his lips, "About District 13, Katniss. All our plans. Everything."
My eyes open wide. This can't be true! A wave of skepticism comes upon me. "What's the catch?" I ask.
"No one is to know about Miss Maysilee's fate," he says slyly. He thinks this is a good deal. All the information for me to swear to secrecy.
I pretend to think this over and then nod in assent, hardly believing how easy this will be. After all this time of not knowing, he's just going to give it to me, practically for free.
"What shall I start with?" he says staring me right in the eye.
"Tell me about the Dark Days," I squint at him.
Haymitch begins with a speech similar to the one read by President Snow. Then, instead of saying about how District 13 was destroyed, the story changes, "The Capitol saw that District 13 was in full rebellion. The nuclear weapons they'd been producing served as a threat, unlike the major industries of all the other districts. So, they attacked there first, sending in hovercrafts with weapons that would destroy the whole district. The people of District 13 put up a good fight, but eventually they were surrounded and the president gave the command to detonate."
"They fired, killing everyone above ground. But the Capitol was foolish. You see, the people of District 13 are not idiots. Way before the rebellion, they had created a special place underground to store weapons in case of any emergencies. When the Capitol was fighting, they didn't even notice that people seemed to be just disappearing, the numbers decreasing in multitude. People were escaping underground. The Capitol completely underestimated District 13, so once they'd destroyed everything, they took some footage and left.
"Many people had gotten away. The population only decreased by a few hundred and was quickly repopulated through the years. Most recently, people from other districts have been fleeing to District 13, like your little friend Leanore. We picked her up on the way. She was fleeing from District 6. She's a rebel, I'll tell you. Left her whole family behind in hopes of finding a future with the rebellion," his voice trails off.
I reflect upon Leanore's bravery for a few moments. It takes a strong person to make such a life changing decision for something you're not even sure exists.
"Anyway," he continues, snapping out of his reflecting state, "the Capitol eventually found out that District 13 had not been destroyed. They were afraid that the nuclear constructors had become more powerful and that they posed an even more serious threat than before. Of course, showing that District 13 had not been completely obliterated would be a weakness of the Capitol, so none of the other districts were aware and they continued to show old footage every year.
"In the meantime, the president of Panem went to 'negotiate' with District 13. Hostages were taken and, under pressure, District 13 vowed to remain hidden. The hostages were all killed. The history of what happened next is a little sketchy. Some say that the people of District 13 all lived peacefully for awhile, coexisting in Panem without the other districts' knowledge. For some reason, the Capitol didn't seem to bother them. Maybe they were under the impression that the killings had taught the rebels a lesson, so they didn't think twice about District 13 anymore. It was ignored, until now. We believe that President Snow is building an army to come and attack, because it doesn't make any sense they haven't come here already."
Haymitch takes a deep breath. It's a lot to take in at once. I process each fact individually, soaking up the meaning. After he is done speaking, I gingerly pat him on the back and tell him that is all I need to know at the moment. I can hear more of their plans later. Right now, all I want to do is sleep. Rest my head down on the pillow and drift someplace else. Haymitch can tell me tomorrow. So, he leaves and I follow my plan.
The next day, he does not come to see me. Nor the day after that. I begin to wonder what's going on. My question pops out during breakfast on the third day of his absence. My father said Haymitch had never mentioned coming to see me. He agrees to bring my concerns to Haymitch.
When he finally comes, I ask him about their plans. He looks at me as if I'm crazy and flatly denies he ever said he would tell me. When I remind him of what I know, he responds with a simple, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The days pass. Hour upon hour, week after week, month after month. Time begins to slip away. With time, my pregnancy issues increase and I blow up like a balloon. It's a week before the opening ceremonies to the Games start when my father breaks the news to me.
"We're leaving tomorrow," he says casually over dinner.
I nod. Of course, I am expecting this. One of these days, he is just going to leave, kind of like when he abandoned my family in District 12. But once again, his journey has a purpose and it is more important than what he is leaving behind.
We say our good-byes at nighttime because he's leaving very early in the morning. Gale and Finnick stop by. I've seen them a couple of times since the wedding. Haymitch doesn't come. I've heard that Plutarch and Beetee have been so busy lately with preparation that they don't take breaks for lunch or dinner, so I can hardly expect to see either of them.
The hardest part is actually seeing Madge say good-bye to Gale. She doesn't want to let go of him. I can't pretend I haven't noticed her affection for Gale is genuine. I try to ignore it though, because every time I see the way she looks at him, it reminds me of Peeta.
Eventually, they leave and Madge spends the night with me, so she doesn't have to be with Gale again tonight. I understand how she may feel. We don't talk for the entire time, going back to the way we usually are. Silent and resolute. We fall asleep without a sound.
I feel a tug on my arm and open my eyes warily. I'm so surprised to see Leanore standing next to me. I'm in a daze as she ushers me out of bed. We are walking outside. The sun is just rising and the color of the sky is a lovely shade of orange. This is all I notice. Before I even speak, I am inside the hovercraft. She takes me to a closet and sits me down, telling me to be very quiet and it will all work out. I don't want to be here. Why am I here? What's going on? But I don't get to ask, because she jabs a needle up my arm and I black out into nothingness.
END OF PART ONE