Long hard day at work but here's my best through bleary eyes. Off tomorrow so will prob get finished then.
Wednesday Evening
"When?" she demands, her eyes boring into his back.
"When, did you drug me? And with what? The innocuous cup of tea, is that it? Help me say what I'd come to say, do what I'd come to do!"
He is still refusing to turn from the window but she doesn't want to go anywhere near him.
"That's why you wanted me to leave…" comprehension is dawning upon her, "you were having second thoughts? Regrets? Is that it, Harry? Should I have put sugar in her tea, not rohypnol!"
"No, Ruth. No," he shouts, spinning back towards her, "it wasn't like that!"
2 days Earlier - Monday
Their passion was overwhelming. It had started slowly and simply but soon it was sensual and seductive.
So many years, so many moments of self restraint, suddenly stripped away.
She had pulled back from him breathlessly and wordlessly she had taken his hand and turned towards the stairs.
But he had hesitated.
"It's your house, Harry," she whispered, "I don't know where I'm going."
"And where are you going?" he breathed into her ear as his lips moved to the nape of her neck.
"I thought..." she struggled to speak, "...that the bedroom might be more appropr..."
She was rudely interrupted as his mouth found hers and his body pressed her backwards, step by step, up the stairs.
Wednesday Evening
"You kissed me. I kissed you. It was simple, Ruth. Simple and wonderful and all the rest was adrenalin and endorphins. That's all."
"And we had sex?" she says her mouth tight, her jaw set.
"It was much more than that," he says quietly gazing at her.
"I wouldn't know, Harry," her voice drips with sarcasm, "after all, I don't remember."
His gaze slips away as the next wave of attack begins.
"So, there you were, lying in bed, no doubt feeling rather pleased with yourself. Tell me, what made you reject the post coital cigarette and opt instead for the morning after 'fuck and forget' pill?"
He has never heard her speak like this. His dejection is absolute.
"You just happened to have a bottle handy in the bathroom cabinet, did you…for emergencies?'
"Ruth, please…."
"Please, what, Harry. Please forgive you?"
"Please understand."
"Understand what?" she shouts, "tell me, because I have no idea, I have no understanding whatsoever of why you did this."
"I didn't want to hurt you."
She looks at him blankly. Lost. Angry.
He shakes his head and turns back to the window.
"The Inquiry," he says quietly, "the things you'll hear. The things I've done."
"So?"
"You won't forgive them….me. You'll hear them and you will judge me and hate me and you will be right, Ruth, you'll be right to do so."
"What has this to do with Monday night?"
He turns back to her.
"Monday night was a taste of what could have been," he whispers, "Do you have any idea how hard it would have been to know that, to feel that and then lose it? Better that you never knew, never remembered how wonderful things could be… better than tasting the future and then losing it."
She is looking at him wide eyed.
"I didn't want to hurt you, Ruth….anymore than I have already."
She steps slowly towards him.
Crack!
Her hand whips across his cheek.
He does not flinch, his eyes, his head are downcast, deserving.
"Do you know what that was for?" she demands.
"Yes."
"No, Harry. You don't."
He dares to look at her.
"That was for robbing me of what I can never get back. That was for taking from me a memory I have imagined a thousand times over and will never know."
"Ruth…I.."
"You're a hypocrite, Harry."
"Please…"
"Do you want to know why?"
He nods.
"What did you say? That I'll 'judge you and hate you'?"
He goes to answer but she does not want an answer.
"You're the only one doing the judging, Harry. It's you who is prejudging me! Don't dare to tell me how I'll feel, you have no idea what I'll feel!"
"I'm sorry," he offers, weakly.
"If you're such an expert in knowing how I'll react, then tell me, what am I going to say next Harry?"
"That it's too late for sorry?" he offers.
"Right first time. In fact, right for the first and only time!"
And with that she turns on her heel and marches away from him, towards the front door. She doesn't look back.