Disclaimer: I do not own Jareth, the Labyrinth, or any of its inhabitants. I do own anything/ anyone/ anyplace that I created in this fanfic… which I also own… XP nah!
Summary: War is brewing in the Underground and it seems as though Sarah's favorite Goblin King is in the center of it. Alliances are being formed quickly but also broken just as fast. Tension rises in the continuation of Heal Me, Hurt Me!
Warning: Jareth is totally out of character. So is Sarah.
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Last Time:
"Jason?" she called.
He glanced over and smiled. "Hey Sarah. What's up?"
"Nothing. My head hurts."
"It's to be expected when one drinks so much," he commented with a wide grin.
"Hmmm. What have you got?"
He showed her the necklace. "I found it. Isn't it pretty?"
"Very. It matches the sky."
He laughed, holding it up once more to see it blend with the surrounding sky. "That is does. Perfectly."
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Heal Me, Hurt Me – Part II
By: Kadasa Mori
Chapter 16 (March 22nd)
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Jareth scowled darkly at the papers before him, cursing them mentally and fisted his hand around his quill to keep himself from stabbing them. A brush of paper made him look up to Sarah who was curled in an arm chair across the room, a book in her lap. He stared at her then at the papers then back at her before grinning.
"Sarah?" She glanced up from reading to find Jareth walking over with a few papers. "Would you do me an invaluable service?"
She sighed and straightened her book. "I will not sing for you Jareth. You know I'm horrible at it."
He stared at her in confusion. "Wha… No you idiot. I wanted to know if you could run these to Kira?"
"Why?" she asked dryly. "Can't you just… 'poof' them over?"
"Just bring the damn papers to my sister please."
She sighed and bookmarked her page, tossing the book on the table. "Only cause you said please."
"Oh thank you my lady," he said sarcastically.
She smirked and took the papers, humming to herself as she headed out of the room. The portal still scared the hell out of her but it was better than apparating. She stepped through and shook herself for a minute, trying to rid herself of any invisible inter-dimension goop. After she was sure none was left she headed for the living room. She peeked around the corner first and was glad she did. The blond haired fae was lying on the couch, her hair hanging over the arm. Alan sat in a chair beside it, one fist holding up his cheek, the other hand running his fingers through her long hair.
"I think all the knots and tangles are out darling," he said with a smile.
She sent him a look. "There weren't any knots or tangles in my hair to begin with sweetheart."
He chuckled and stood, leaning over the arm rest and kissing her forehead. "Then I suppose all that unnecessary hair brushing was just for my entertainment."
She smiled back with a half smirk. "And my relaxation. I did have four of your children."
"Ah yes. Only four dearest? I thought I had more-oh wait. That's my other wife."
She rolled her eyes. "Ha ha. That was funny the first thirty times."
"I'm surprised it was funny for so long then." He glanced around then whispered conspiratorially. "But you're my favorite wife."
"I'm your best wife."
"And most pretty." Kira laughed and reached for him, giving him an upside down hug, running her fingers through his hair. After a minute he pulled away. "Sorry wife-y. My back ain't what it used to be."
"Must be from giving piggybacks to all them kiddies. Come here." He took a seat on the couch before her and she began rubbing his back.
Sarah quietly tiptoed past the room and glanced at the bundle of papers in her hands. They could wait. She smiled and headed for the kitchen.
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When Sarah didn't return at least an hour later, Jareth scowled at the clock as though it were the reason his brunette hadn't come back. Standing, he quickly made his way through the portal and towards the living room where Alan and Kira frequented. Sticking his head in, he only found the husband of the duo.
Alan glanced up from his game against Katrina. "Hey Jareth!" he chirped happily. "What's up?"
"Where's Sarah?"
He blinked owlishly. "Sarah? She's here?"
Jareth growled. "She's supposed to be."
"Well if she's here I'll be surprised. Usually when she's around things explode."
Jareth snorted and held out his hand, a crystal forming. "Sarah. Where are you?" The crystal lifted and vanished.
Alan returned to the game. "So what's up?"
"I sent Sarah here with papers for you and Kira an hour ago and she hasn't returned."
"Well she wasn't here. Go fish Kitty Kat." She pouted and reached for the card, obviously pulling the one she needed because she squealed loudly. "Maybe she's with Kira in the kitchen?"
"She'd better be."
The crystal suddenly reappeared before him. He held out a hand and it landed in his palm.
"Aboveground you numbskull. I told you yesterday Samra and I had to meet up with Reishka. Kira brought me by the by."
"SARAH! Don't get ME in trouble too!"
Sarah's cackling was heard as the crystal vanished. Jareth rubbed his forehead as Alan laughed. "Sarah's so much fun!" he chirped.
"Yeah. Fun." Jareth twitched and stepped out of the room heading back to his castle. Might as well make use of the silence without the brunette.
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"So how are we gonna do this?" Samra asked as the shop neared.
Sarah tapped her chin. "Hm… we need to act as though we don't know each other. What she did the last time I went over to help her was ask me a million questions. We need some kind of code so that we both have the same answer."
"How about if I tap my cup it means no?"
"But that means I'll have to continuously stare at your cup."
"Right… oh! How about I'll tap your leg? I usually sit with my hands in my lap so she won't notice."
"Good plan. If she asks about colors then we just say blue."
"Then green. Then silver. Then just recycle back through. Blue, green, silver."
"Very good plan!" Sarah squealed. "I'm so excited! She's gonna be so baffled!" Both Kira and Samra turned to look at her in surprise. "What?"
"You know a big word!" Kira cried and hugged her. "I'm so proud!" She frowned. "But I'm sorry to say that Reishka's not going to fall for it." Samra and Sarah raised an eyebrow. "She's got the 'touch.' She'll know something's up."
Just as Kira predicted, Samra went in first then Sarah and Kira a few minutes later, Reishka introducing everyone happily. As she reached for her drink she paused and rolled her eyes. "Whatever you're up to Sarah, it won't work. I know you two know each other."
Sarah scowled darkly at Kira who raised her hands. "I didn't say anything! I told you! She's got the 'touch'!"
"What's the touch?" Samra asked curiously while Sarah pouted over the failure of her plan.
"It's… I can read people; emotions, connections to others at the table. When an old couple comes into my diner I can tell they've been together because their being is nearly the same. When Sarah first came here I could tell she was sad." Sarah frowned, ignoring the questioning stares. "If a business woman comes in and she's in a hurry and stressed, I try to ease a smile out of her, calmly and business-like, not too personal but enough to let her know I'm a friend. Doing that makes the customer happy and they'll want to come back."
"That's cheating," Sarah announced unhappily.
"Ah my dear… it's the rules of the game of commerce. NOW! On to planning! My boy was born five hundred and some change years after Leonardo da Vinci!" Reishka boasted. "He deserves the greatest party EVER!"
Sarah rolled her eyes skyward and Samra sighed heavily. Kira squealed. "Oh that's incredible!"
This is going to be the longest afternoon ever, Sarah grumbled to herself as Reishka and Kira dove into exactly how chairs would be placed and what color the doorknob should be.
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It was a legal stuff. Words upon words, theories and testaments and treasuries and loyalties and royalties and housing and economics and… goddess… Jareth rubbed his forehead. Every sentence he had to pick apart and reread a dozen times just to understand. For example. There was an entire paragraph, all thirty sentences that when finally understood said, The new fare at the docks will be increased by two percent. Jareth's eyes felt like they were bleeding. He'd been at it all day and now-
Pop! Jareth's eye twitched and he looked up at the brunette sitting across from him. She was reading but the smile stretched across her face noted that she obviously knew he was getting annoyed.
Pop! Jareth's eye twitched again and he heard a giggle.
Pop! He slammed his fist down and looked up at her growling darkly. She was shook in silent laughter and pulled the book up higher.
Pop! He got up and walked over to stand before her, crossing his arms.
Pop! "Sarah."
Pop! "Yes Jareth?"
"You do know that your bubble popping could be annoying others."
Pop! "Yes Jareth."
He twitched. "Then do you think you could stop?"
She looked at him, chewing before she slowly blew a huge bubble. Pop! She grinned wickedly. "No Jareth."
As she blew another huge bubble, he leaned down and bit it, the bubble exploding with a loud POP! She stared at him, startled. "Stop."
She blinked then pouted. "Thanks a lot."
He rolled his eyes. "Go to your room and pop it there. I've gotta finish these."
"Fine. Fine. Throw your girlfriend out!" She let out a dramatic sigh and floated out of the room.
"What was that about?" Jason asked as he walked in, taking the seat she'd just left.
Jareth shook his head, returning to the papers. "Sarah's being Sarah and I've gotta finish these."
"Ah. Need help?"
"It would be very highly welcomed." Jason laughed and curled into the opposite chair to read.
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"Just tell him!" Alanna urged happily.
"I… I can't do that!" Clarica yelped, face bright red.
Aiolos laughed. "Sure! Just walk up," he walked over to Alanna, knelt and grabbed her hand, "and say, 'Lord Honou, lord of all things red and pretty, I want you to know that I am deeply in love with your pretty hair!'"
Alanna giggled. "Why my dear Clarica, while your hair color is retina destroying I am in love with you too."
Aiolos stood. "Oh how happy I am!"
"Insert make out session." Clarica turned the darkest red possible, hair bright pink and clashing horribly. Alanna almost fell over she was laughing so hard, Aiolos propping himself up on the spear he always carried, crying and laughing hysterically.
"Shut up!" Clarica shrieked.
"So go tell him!"
"Fine!" she shouted and stomped out hearing their laughter echo down the hall. Nearing his throne room, she glanced in a mirror and willed her face to lose some blood, patting down her hair and turning it to a calming shade of green. Spotting the doors up ahead of her she smiled and tugged on her gown (only white for once) and crept up to the door.
"-Rica…She's such a silly girl," Honou said with a tone that she knew accompanied the 'I'm just humoring you because you're annoying' smile. "I don't understand why anyone could ever think I'd be falling in love with her. She's a servant by goddess."
Clarica was glad her hand covered her mouth to keep the gasp from escaping as her other hand clenched at the gown before her heart. Her chin trembled and she took a step away.
The man he was speaking to, one of his closer friends, spoke up. "So you're not in love with this girl?"
He scoffed. "No. I could never."
"She seems to hold such a fascination with you and you with her that I thought-"
"You thought wrong my good man. I knew of the fascination but I didn't want to hurt her. Girls are so fragile you know, especially this one. She's like a china glass wrapped in idiocy and false smiles. Besides, how could I fall in love with such a lower class girl? I am to be married one day."
"Oh? To who?"
"The most beautiful princess out there."
Clarica tore away from the door, racing back to her room. She was glad they'd made her wear the soft slippers around the castle because they kept her from making noise. She burst into her room, door slamming open.
Aiolos and Alanna looked startled as she began ripping her things from her furniture and throwing them into her bag.
"Clarica?" Alanna asked in concern. "What's wrong? Didn't you tell him?"
"No!" she said angrily. "He wants nothing to do with me! I'm going back to Goblin castle! At least I'm wanted there!"
"What did he say?" Aiolos frowned.
"He said he couldn't understand why anyone could ever think he could fall in love with me! He said I was an idiot and in such a lower class he couldn't love me!" Her chin trembled. "I… He said he was going to be married to a princess."
"You are a princess!" Alanna cried, grabbing her hands.
"I'm really not Alanna," Clarica murmured. "I'm a servant to Lord Jareth. I'm only here to pretend for Honou."
"Ah. That's where I know you from," Aiolos spoke up. "It's been bothering me. I saw you there a few years ago when I travelled to Goblin Castle with Lord Honou."
Clarica smiled faintly. "So really there's nothing to be lost by my leaving… I must go say my good byes to Alex…"
They kept her company on the walk to the young boy's room. He'd shut his eyes and clenched his fists looking like he was about to cry but then swallowed and stood straight with an elegant nod she knew he'd learned by watching Honou. Her chin trembled and she informed him she was proud of him and that if he needed anything he was to contact her immediately.
After a few more hugs and farewells, she stepped into the hallway and gave her two friends a watery smile. "Will you two walk me out?" They nodded and led her towards the apparition chamber within the castle. "I will… miss you both. Write to me?"
"Of course." Alanna let out a watery hiccup, wiping at her eyes. "I will miss you so very much Rica."
"I as well," Aiolos said uncomfortably, wings rustling.
"Watch over Alanna for me. She's very ditzy."
"Hey!"
He laughed. "Of course my lady."
She smiled and turned to leave only to have a familiar red headed phoenix walk in smiling. "Ah. Clarica. I was looking for you. What are you doing in here?" He glanced at Alanna and Aiolos with a frown as Alanna visibly bit her lip and looked at the ground sharply, Aiolos' jaw setting angrily and focusing on his feet. Ignoring them for the moment he turned to Clarica. "Are you ready for lunch my dear?"
She sent him a wide smile. "I'm sorry. I'm needed back at Goblin Castle."
He frowned. "I'd not heard wind of this news."
"Because it's very recent news." She swallowed.
"Just the other day you wanted to stay longer. What need is so great in Goblin Castle that merits your attention?"
She bristled angrily. "The obvious fact that you need to leave your nose out of my business." He jerked back, startled. "Oh, and before I go," she pulled down the collar of her shirt exposing the brilliant tattoo he'd placed there. "Could you perhaps get rid of this?"
His eyes darkened and veiled themselves. "You mean not to return."
"Precisely." When he didn't move she scowled. "Any time would be lovely."
He lifted his eyes to hers. "No."
"What?!"
"I said no. Should you return you'll need that symbol to find me."
She snarled. "I won't be returning!" She distantly knew she was causing a scene but couldn't make herself care enough to stop yelling. "I don't want to be here anymore!"
He flinched as though he'd been smacked. "Fine then. I won't bring you back. No matter what you say," Honou sneered. "Once you leave you're gone for good."
"Perfect!" She stomped towards the apparition circle. "I don't ever want to see you again! I hate you!" She disappeared, the words echoing in the large chamber and all eyes on their lord. Honou stiffened, hair standing on end.
"M-my l-l-lord?" Alanna asked nervously, huddling against Aiolos' side, the guard's hand on his sword.
Honou let out a screech of fury bursting into flame. "OUT!" he shouted. "ALL OF YOU! OUT!"
They wasted no time in relocating themselves to the other end of the castle.
After a few minutes Honou gasped for air looking around the scorched room. He looked down at his hand and found it to still be on fire. He shook it off and calmly walked back towards the entryway only to pause at the familiar dark haired raven leaning against the doorframe. "My, my, my. The bird has a temper," Toroku chimed, eyes looking around the room in barely hidden amazement.
Honou felt the heat building in his fisted hands and tried to will it away. "I'm not in the mood."
"Hmm… I'd just dropped by to leave you a few things Jareth needs you to sign off on. Shall I inform him not to contact you?"
Later, Honou would appreciate the gesture but now the mocking words made his blood boil. "Out," he snarled, the flame now surrounding his hands.
Toroku unfolded his arms and held his hands up in a pacifying gesture. "Relax my lord. I'm gone." He disappeared with his words.
It took Honou nearly twenty minutes to calm himself enough to make it to his room without frying any of his servants.
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Sarah sighed looking out her window. "I'm bored," she commented to no one. "No one's around… bored… oh!" She pulled out her compact telephone thingy and flipped it open. "Valdis."
After a minute the panther's face appeared. "Sarah."
"Hi!"
"Hi…? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just bored."
"Oh…" Valdis curled a strand of hair around her finger. "Was that all?"
"Yeah. Are you around?"
She rolled her eyes. "No Sarah. I'm at home." She growled. "Azrael is being a total jerk!"
"Am not!" came a voice in the background.
"Are too," she shot back angrily. "He keeps making out with Aidan around the hou-"
"Don't tell Sarah that!!!"
Sarah giggled. "Is he turning bright red?"
"Yup. Like a tomato."
"Valdis! Stoooop!!!"
"No." The screen turned so Sarah could see the other panther, red clashing with his orange hair.
"Nice Azrael. You cover all of the warm colors of the rainbow."
He pouted and turned his back on her. The screen shifted back to Valdis. "So what did you want?"
"Nothing. I'm bored."
"So I heard. There was a rumor of it."
"Shut up Valdis!" She pouted. "No one's around and Jareth's busy. I'm lonely."
"Well you've got me on the line. However could you be so lonely?"
"Cause you're no fun."
"Yippee. You broke my heart." She yawned, tongue curling like a cat's.
"You okay?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah. Sleepy… it's been raining on an off."
"Oh I forgot. Kitties don't like the rain."
She received a glare for that. "Kitties like to claw out eyeballs and tear up spleens."
Sarah laughed. "I know right!"
"Wow you're stupid."
"I know." She sighed. "Well I'll let you go. Just wanted to check in. I haven't seen you in awhile."
"We've been busy around here. Spring is a major festival time."
"Festival?"
"Hmm…" She cocked her head. "You should come."
"Valdis!" Azrael snapped. "You know what the elders would say."
She rolled her eyes and sent him a look. "Like you don't defy them every day by being with Aidan."
"But Jareth-"
She snorted. "If they elders were so quick to side with him then they shouldn't complain if their princess invites a noble to a festival."
"I suppose…"
"Hey," Sarah interrupted. "I don't wanna cause trouble."
"A first," Valdis replied dryly. "No. I want you to come visit only if it's safe. Ask Jareth about it and I'll send you the details later." She scowled. "Gotta go. Aidan just showed up."
Sarah laughed. "Tell Azrael to stop making out when you're around."
"I heard that."
"Good." Valdis replied. "Talk to you later Sarah."
"Bye." The screen went black and she smiled faintly before sighing feeling even more alone now. "Maybe a walk through Crystal Lake town." Pulling on a thick coat and a scarf she headed for the portal, quickly and quietly making her way through the castle and towards town.
Not many people were out and about as it was chilly out and nearing dinner. She pulled the scarf up under her nose with a heavy sigh, hoping no one noticed her as she took a seat on one of the benches to watch the stray traveler. Her luck ran out as a blond hurried past, glancing at her quickly then froze and spun around. "Sarah?!"
She looked up and blinked. "Aminta?"
The blond laughed. "It is you! It's been forever! How've you been?"
"Good I suppose, granted it is cold and I am hungry."
Aminta laughed. "Well I was just on my way home to make some dinner. Want to join me?"
"I don't want to intrude."
"Please do. Mikel is at a friend's house and I'll be by myself." She fluttered her eye lashes. "Please?"
Sarah laughed. "I suppose I could make a quick stop. What's for dinner?"
"Spaghetti and meatballs! It's about the only thing I can make beyond peanut butter sandwiches." She hooked an arm around Sarah's. "So tell me all of the juicy details. How's your gorgeous boyfriend?"
"Just fine. Working on something so he's busy."
Aminta frowned at the hard tone. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Just tired."
"Hmph. My mother always says 'fine' was not a good enough response. You must be dandy, depressed, d-adjectives, etc. and so on."
Sarah smiled. "Oh? Could I be devilish? Deceitful? Daring?"
"I suppose you be all of those though I'm quite sure you're the first." Sarah laughed and Aminta held out a box. "Help me out if I'm to feed you."
Over dinner they chatted lightly about friends and gossip in town. After dinner Aminta poured her a glass of wine. Once Sarah had finished at least half of it, Aminta cocked her head. "So what's wrong? And I know it's not 'nothing' so don't try it."
Sarah looked down into her drink. "I feel stupid about it but… I'm lonely. I mean I'm always surrounded by people but…" She gave a half shrug. "Everybody else has someone else they can talk to."
"I don't understand," Aminta said with a frown.
"Well… Kara is Kira's sister but she's also Jareth's brother, Jason's potential love interest and friends with Evie and Samra because of their books. I'm Jareth's girlfriend so if Kara wants to talk to Kira she can even if I'm there because they're sisters. If Jason wants to talk to Kara he's gonna. If Samra and Evie wanna chat about books they will. I feel like… like I'm just a side, something to amuse them when they don't have the others."
Aminta sighed heavily. "Sarah… you can't think this way. They all adore you."
"But it's not the same… I need something of my own. I have no family left. Carmen's in love with Scarab. Riley's Emmy's now. Jareth belongs to everyone." She rubbed her arms. "I just… realized how alone I actually was today and…" She shrugged. "I'm lonely."
"I'm here!"
"You have Mikel. You have friends here." She blinked rapidly. "I miss my old life…"
The blond sighed heavily and made her way around the table, hugging her tightly. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright. I'm probably just pms-ing. It'll be over by tomorrow."
"Sarah…"
"I'm fine Aminta. Seriously." She smiled brightly and hugged her tightly. "I'm fine."
"Fine is-"
Sarah held up a finger. "Fine is not a good enough response. You must be awesome, amazing, attitude-ical, a donkey's behind or other a-adjectives." Aminta laughed. "And I must be getting back to the Goblin Dungeons before I am missed. Thank you very much for dinner. I'll invite you over soon."
"I'll hold you to that!" Aminta called as Sarah pulled on her coat and scarf and hurried out. She sighed and shook her head. "Oh Sarah…"
The brunette quickly made her way back towards the castle, sneaking in and through the portal and back to her room to sleep off whatever depressive mood she'd fallen into. She quickly changed into her pajamas, brushed her hair out and pulled back the covers to climb in.
"Sarah?"
The brunette let out a weary sigh. "I'm sorry but I'm not in the mood to entertain. I just want to sleep."
"Ah… I'll… talk to you tomorrow then."
Sarah choked on her air and spun. "Rica?!"
The dull haired girl glanced back. "What?"
"What are you doing here?! Where's Honou?"
Clarica's eyes glimmered in unshed tears. "I…" She put her face in her hands. "It's done. It's over. We argued and I'm back. For good."
Sarah frowned. "I thought-"
"So did I." She sniffed, shoulders jerking. "So did I…" Sarah sighed and held out her arms, Clarica quickly hurrying over and hugging her back tightly.
Once Clarica had finally calmed down, Sarah rubbing her back, she took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "He… he said he couldn't ever love me… said that I was too fragile, too far below his level of class that he was just playing along so he didn't hurt me." Her chin trembled. "I hate him," she whispered. "I… I hate him."
Sarah sighed and wrapped her arms around the girl. "It's alright Rica." She hugged her tightly. "It'll be alright."
"Sarah." She looked up and found Jareth standing in the door. He looked at Clarica then back at Sarah before motioning her to the hall with his head. She rubbed Clarica's back.
"I'll be right back Rica. Just lay down and rest." She hurried into the hall and crossed her arms. "What?" she snapped angrily.
Both of his eyebrows rose but he didn't comment on her attitude. "Why is Honou trying to destroy his bedroom in a rage that is terrifying all of the inhabitants of the Phoenix Castle?"
Sarah frowned. "Clarica just left. Apparently she overheard him talking about never loving her, etc and so on." She cocked her head. "Why would he destroy his room if he wanted her to leave?"
"Interesting conundrum." They both turned to Jason as he rubbed his chin, pipe in hand and Sherlock Holmes outfit on.
"What the hell are you doing?" Jareth asked wearily. "I thought you were helping me look over those documents."
"This is much more interesting. I must find Kara and ask her about the matter."
"Jason!" Jareth yelped. "What about the documents?!"
"They're not due till next month! They can wait!"
"They what?!" His laughter echoed down the hall and Jareth snarled. "Damn happy fae."
"You're a fae too," Sarah sighed, rolling her eyes.
"Now that he's dealt with, what's wrong?"
She frowned. "Nothing's wrong."
He scowled and scoffed at her. "Please don't insult my intelligence by lying to me." He turned on his heel. "When you're ready to talk come find me."
Her eyes watered after he left and she hugged herself. "You're supposed to push the issue Jareth," she whispered to herself before sighing and walking back into her room to take care of Clarica.
What a horrible day it was turning out to be.
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To all Heal Me, Hurt Me Readers and Reviewers,
This chapter was so hard to write because I wanted to burst out crying several times throughout it.
I'm in a sad mood. I should not write whilst upset. It makes my characters unhappy. And no. Nothing's wrong. Just… blah… Should probably stop listening to sad music. Could possibly be a factor.
(hides in a corner to pout, eat chocolate and annoy her dog)
Kadasa Mori
Next Chapter Preview: Chapter 17
"And who is this?" the woman asked, looking down her nose at Sarah.
"A mere servant, my lady." Jareth answered back with a short smile.
Sarah bristled. A servant?! I outta kick your-
"Hm… well Lord Jareth, Ikkakujuu tells me you have put in place many safety measures?"
You are Sarah of the Labyrinth? Sarah blinked and glanced up. The woman was still speaking snootily to Jareth and Ikkakujuu but behind her stood a unicorn, tall and proud but obviously old and wise, horn glistening silver and hooves of the same color. Keep your eyes on the ground young one. I can hear your thoughts.
You can… read my mind?
Yes.There was a hint of laughter in the chiming words. Does that frighten you?
No but… some things I'd like to keep secret.
My dear Sarah, we do not judge those because of their thoughts on their boyfriends.