Hey guys. Thanks for sticking with me through the really long wait. Exams here just ended and I got my report. Quite ok I guess so yeah, not that unhappy about it.

Anyways, enough of my rubbish. Summer's just started so I'll update more and write more.

Enjoy.

Dear Esme,

Mom, the one I never had. You know, Renee had always been the kid and ever since I was a little girl, I had to care for both her and myself Until Phil came along and I became the third wheel. Throughout my childhood, I never had a mother figure.

My heart broke at the things my daughter was saying. She never had a mother, someone to care for her, someone to read her bedtime stories. I thought back to my child, the one that died, the one that resulted in my change. I wondered if up in heaven, someone was being his mother.

The first time I met you, when I first saw you, you were the last Cullen I met. I met Carlisle at the ER and the others at school, and when I first met you, I felt hope (I know, cheesy, like how Jasper and Alice met). But really, I felt those childish dreams of Cinderella and Snow White all come true and the sight of your petite face, it was as if all my praying of a loving mother had finally came true.

I sobbed, and leaned against Carlisle's shoulder. He laid a comforting arm around my shoulder and I momentarily closed the letter. Every one of my children was engrossed in their letter and all had glistening tears in their eyes. I briefly wondered at their response when they saw me. I knew they all had a loving family, with mothers who read them fairytales and fathers who love them but for Bella, it was different. She had a split apart family and her mom was the child. I opened the letter again.

Every time I felt down, you were always there for me, either providing me advice or giving me a shoulder to lean and cry on. You were a perfect mom and as much as your guys leaving me had hurt, I could never in a billion years bring myself to hate anyone of you. I need my mom…

Oh, Bella. Sweet, kind, forgiving Bella. It is the truth that we left you here and you could have died due to the countless attempts at revenge from Victoria, or the wolves down at La Push. It is so stupid of me not even bothering to change Edward's point of view, I mean, I agreed at that point of time, because I thought it was for the best, but is leaving her unprotected worth the risk? Now that I think of it, there were so many flaws in our plan, flaws that could have cost her her life.

Your story was such a sad one, with death and much sorrow. Like everyone elses, you've all had a difficult past and I (according to Rose) am throwing away a possibly amazing future for a doomed life. Well, to be honest, I don't think I can ever find a better family than the Cullens. You guys are the most amazing family ever. If giving everything away means getting u guys, I'll throw it all away without a second thought.

Everyone's story is really sad. Calisle lived during the stake, Edward pretty much watched his parents die, Rosalie was raped, Em got mauled by a bear, Jasper had to fight in both mortal and immortal wars and Alice can't even remember her own past. The future for her is probably very involved with mythical. Even if we didn't change her, I'm pretty sure the Volturi would, or maybe some nomads would. Changing her would have probably been for the best but…she's….

Mom, please don't cry. I didn't mean to you know, but I'd rather die than give away another life. I'd never choose abortion, its cruel and it kills an innocent life. I remember a song I use to love listening to, Carrie Underwood I think. It's called 'Don't forget to remember me'. Remember it? It's just for you, my kind and loving mother.

I grabbed Alice's Ipod and clicked the song. As I listened to it, I could imagine Bella singing it, with that soft, sweet voice, telling me to not forget her. I sobbed harder and harder and when the song played to a beautiful ending, I could literally feel the tears on my cheeks again.

Esme, my mother, thank you. For everything that you have done for me, but my time is up and it's a pity that I never once told you to you face but… I love you. I really do. Stay strong momma, because you need to for the others, especially for Edward. It would be hardest on him, and he's probably in denial right now. Momma, I hope you won't be foolish again and jump off a cliff due to lost of a child. I couldn't bear it if I knew you died because of me. Losing me, you gain a granddaughter, fair trade huh? On the plus side, she's your first granddaughter, so you can spoil her as much as you want. Isn't that a grandparent's job?

Momma, always remember not to forget me, and stay strong not only for me, but also for the others and most importantly, for your granddaughter.

Love and Goodbye,

Bella

By this time, if I were human, Carlisle's shirt would be totally wet and I'd probably had ran out of tears to cry out. Seriously, I thought of going right over to La Push so one of the wolves could end me, but thinking to my children and dear Carlisle, I knew I had to take up responsibility and stay strong. Ending my life would be another tragedy to add to my family's burden. My beloved daughter, I love you and always remember that.

A/N: Good? Bad? Crappy? Wait patiently for the next chappie (which will be Carlisle's)