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Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach
Chapter 8
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"Nani…?" Renji asked incredulously
"Hai, it's been almost ten months. It was a mutual decision…" she said solemnly
"What happened…?"
"We realised that we were together for all the wrong reasons, especially me…"
"What do you mean?" He enquired
"Renji, ever since I met him, I've always had this pull towards him. At first I thought that maybe it was fate. We always found ourselves in the weirdest of situations and he was always saving me. I think I was more flattered about that then I was willing to admit. I got to know him and I understood the person he was and the person he became." She looked out the window.
"When we became a couple, it was all new to me and to him, we were excited about discovering new things together, but when Inoue died… It changed the dynamics of our relationship. At first we grieved together, and we got closer because of it. We stayed that way for a few years until things went south…" She rose to her feet and walked to the window with a sad look on her face.
"We would always fight or ignore each other. Ichigo is extremely stubborn but then so am I, we just clashed about everything that it became insufferable. I thought that maybe all couples went through things like this but that wasn't the case especially as normal couples don't have the lives we have. The next few years were the same until I realised why I fell in love with him in the first place…" she sighed
"I tried to find Kaien in him Renji… He looked just like him and the way they behaved was just so similar… I realised that by being with him I could sooth the pain of loss that I felt about Kaien, I was responsible for his death… But when I was with Ichigo I forgot about it all. When we were happy, that's when he reminded me the most of Kaien, but when we fought, he was a different person, his own person and that's when I realised what I had done…By then we both realised we had made a wrong decision and decided to go our separate ways, we were better off as friends." She said looking at him expectantly.
Renji was shocked about everything. So much had happened and she never told him anything about it. For some odd reason he felt bad for the both of them but then he thought about Orihime, which made him angry. Did she lose her life for nothing?
He looked at her, eyebrows furrowed, "What about Ichigo, why'd he accept it?"
"He never told me… You know how Ichigo is, always hiding his feelings. I never pushed him about it. As long as he was okay with everything I was fine. But I think it had a lot to do with Inoue…"
Renji shot up at this, "What'd you mean?"
"After she died, he blamed himself. He wouldn't let it go. Sometimes he'd be fine but then he wouldn't. I noticed around the time that we started fighting he would always have these nightmares, always screaming out Inoue's name. When I asked him about it he would ignore me and that's how we'd start fighting…"
"Renji… I told you all of this because I also wanted you to know that when I left Ichigo, the only person I could think about was you… You, who had always been there for me whenever I needed you, right from the beginning, I was stupid to ignore you and lose contact with you. I was just so caught up with Ichigo that I forgot about all the things that mattered. I realised that I had taken you for granted, before and after I met Ichigo, and I'm… well I'm truly sorry for that…" she looked up at him.
Renji was starting to feel sick. Was it possible that Ichigo had feelings for Orihime that he never realised? This really was one fucked up mess… Putting that aside, he also thought about Orihime and how their decision had affected her. This thought made him really angry.
"Do you realise what your indecisiveness caused?" He asked, gritting his teeth, trying to reign in his anger. "Because the two of you wanted to try 'something new' you fucking disregarded the feelings of a girl that wore her heart on her sleeve! She fucking loved him Rukia! We all knew that and don't you dare tell me you didn't! She was supposed to be your friend. Even if that strawberry couldn't figure out what she felt for him the least you could have done was make it known to him! Instead you were selfish and you only thought about yourself!" he hollered, rising off his seat, letting everything loose.
"R-Renji…" Rukia stuttered, looking up at him with wide eyes. She hadn't seen him this angry before…
"You knew that if you spoke to Ichigo about your feelings and if he reciprocated it, Orihime would just back away. That's the type of person she is, selfless, always putting her friends before her self no matter how much it hurt her. The sickening thing about all this is she died because of it and what's even worse is that the decision that you two idiots made that led to her death doesn't even stand today… Tch, Orihime is better off without her memories, because although it was hard for her to accept the two of you together, it would have been even harder to accept your separation." He finished, calming down.
"I-I never thought about it that way Renji… I swear… I loved Inoue as a friend. Through Ichigo I got to know her. She was the one that welcomed me 'home' when I went back to the living world. Do you know how much that meant to me? When they didn't believe in her abilities I helped her, I knew what she was capable off and she was my friend… When she was taken I had to go rescue her, not only to aid Ichigo but to bring her back safely as well." She said solemnly.
"Renji, I knew about her feelings… I just thought that because Ichigo never really treated her than anything more than a friend, I thought I could just go ahead and tell him how I felt… I realise now that I was terribly mistaken, it was my entire fault… I didn't want anything bad to happen to her, I swear I didn't" She said quietly as tears rolled down her cheeks.
"I was never close to any of the girls at the academy or within the Gotei 13 but in the living world, Inoue welcomed me… I will always regret what I did… When she died, it hurt, it hurt like hell. I also lost a friend… She didn't deserve what happened to her… I wish now more than ever, I could take back everything…" she said quietly, looking at the ground.
Renji was stunned. He didn't think that Rukia would have felt remorse after everything but he was wrong. Looking at her now he realised that it was eating at her, especially after he brought everything up. He felt sorry for her in a way…
"Rukia… We can't change the past. All we can do is look to the future… You should have known that, when you decided to get involved with Ichigo, he was never going to be Kaien, no matter how much you wanted to believe him to be. But what's done is done. You just have to let it go…" he said to her softly, tension leaving their heated conversation.
She looked up at him with a smile, "Arigatou Renji, you always knew how to make me feel better… You've changed… You seem to have more logic then before" she laughed softly.
"Tch, I just grew up and realised not everything is black and white…"
"Hai… Regardless, you always said the right things to me… I-I plan on coming back permanently to Soul Society and hopefully become a seated officer… I'll have to talk to Nii-sama but I'm sure he'll relent after everything's that happened… and… Well I was hoping that maybe we could rebuild what we had… We can't just throw it away… And maybe it will turn out into something more…" she looked at him expectantly.
Renji felt like someone had punched him in the gut. He couldn't believe the words that had come out of Rukia's mouth. She wanted to rebuild what they had? Even maybe venture into something more… Was he hearing right? After all the years he had been waiting for her to say something like that and she does so now.
"No"
Rukia paled and stuttered, "N…Nani…?"
"I said no. Rukia, we can never get back what we had, not even that strong friendship that I thought we both held close to our hearts. You severed the tie and I tried to fix it but you weren't having anything of it. I'm not saying that we'll never be friends again, I'm just saying that we won't ever be that close and there will definitely be nothing more than what we had…" Renji said, not faltering one bit.
"I'm not bitter or angry that you only chose to remember me in your time of need and I'm definitely not mad that you choose to voice all this now. Well, the fact is, I've moved on. I'll admit, it took me a while but I did and I think it's time for you to do so as well…" He continued with a soft look gracing his face.
Rukia was shell shocked, this was not at all like one of the scenarios she had played in her head when she had thought about talking to him. She always thought that he'd always be there waiting for her. She was so very wrong…
The man in front of her was entirely different from what she remembered. He looked mature. There was this calmness surrounding him, as if he was at peace. Like he had found his way home and the sad thing was that she wasn't apart of it. That saddened her the most… She widened her eyes when she finally realised something.
"You love her don't you…?"
"I do"
Rukia noticed that he hadn't hesitated in the least, that's how sure he was of himself and his love. She could see it in Renji' eyes, the warmth that radiated from it and she knew it was true. She felt a slight envy towards the auburn haired girl. She had managed to steal the hearts of who Rukia now considered two of the strongest, kind and protective men she knew…
"Does she love you?" she asked softly.
"She does…" he replied.
Rukia nodded and rose from her chair, making her way to the door. She knew this conversation was over. "Good. Renji, take care of her, she deserves much more than anyone could offer her…" and she left quietly, leaving Renji stunned at her final words.
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After the talk with Rukia, Renji couldn't help but feel like all of the weight of his past was completely lifted. He hadn't expected the conversation to turn out that way but he was glad he handled it the way he did.
What made him truly happy was the fact that when he had looked at Rukia, and even spoke to her, he felt nothing. He couldn't say that he had forgotten Rukia completely, they had been through a lot together and she would always hold a special place in his heart. Just not like how she used to…
All he could think about was his Hime. She had truly brought him peace. Her presence made him calm, his previous agitation gone. He knew that when she loved, it was all or nothing and he felt blessed that he was at the receiving end of it.
Orihime wasn't the type of person to give away her innocence if she wasn't 100% committed to the person. That was just the type of person she was, and he loved her even more for that.
Right now he couldn't wait to see her once again, especially after last night. He flash stepped to her house but noticed she wasn't around. She was probably at the market so he left in search of her.
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He eventually found her talking to one of the woman at the stalls. Rikichi was with her and when he noticed his Taicho, he nodded, said farewell to Orihime and left.
Renji walked up to her, placing a hand on her elbow to alert him of her presence. She probably already knew because she could sense him whenever he was near. He greeted the woman and slid his hands into Orihime's and continued to walk down the path.
"Renji-kun, how has your day been so far?" she smiled up at him.
"It was… interesting…" he chuckled
"Eh? What happened?" she enquired.
"Just had a talk with an old friend, that's all" he said sighing
"Ah, well I hope it-"
Before she could complete her sentence, Orihime let go of Renji's hand to clutch her head with both of hers as she groaned in pain.
Renji was alarmed and gripped her shoulders. "Orihime? What's wrong?" he looked down at her, searchingly.
"I d-don't know Renji-kun… It just hurts…" she groaned louder this time, clutching her head even tighter, scrunching her eyes in pain.
Renji was in a panic. He didn't know what was wrong with her, he couldn't understand what was going on. The only thing he could think of was Unohana Taicho.
He gathered her in his arms bridal style and was about to shunpo away when she stopped him.
"Renji-kun… What are you doing?" she groaned
"I'm taking you to Unohana Taicho. She'll know what to do" but as he said this, he looked at her and noticed that she didn't look as strained as she was minutes before.
"No Renji-kun, I'm fine now… It was a slight headache."
"Hime… maybe she should check it, just incase" he said sternly
"No, please Renji-kun I promise, I'm fine." She smiled albeit it was a bit strained.
"Fine, but if you ever feel like this again, its straight to Unohana Taicho, got it?"
"Hai!" she tried with enthusiasm.
He looked at her worriedly and then flash stepped to her house. He stayed with her, making her food and even feeding her as she protested. She didn't complain of any headaches but she was a bit light headed so he decided to let her get some rest and stay with her for the night.
Unfortunately he received another hell butterfly and had to attend to squad duties begrudgingly. He would have to send Rikichi to her house for the night.
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As Orihime slept, she fell into a dream. However this was a very different dream from the ones she usually had.
"Orihime-sama…"
"Oi! Woman!"
Orihime was utterly confused, where were all these voices coming from? How did they know her name?
"Hello… Who is it? How do you know my name?"
"Orihime-sama, it's us… Have you forgotten us…?" she heard the voice say.
"Woman? Pull yourself together!"
That one was a bit louder Orihime thought. "I don't know who you are. What do you want?" she asked timidly.
Before she could get an answer, everything started fading away as she was brought back into consciousness. Her head hurt as she sat up in bed. She shut her eyes tight, waiting for the pain to subside. When she slowly opened her eyes, she gasped in surprise.
It wasn't darkness that she saw anymore, her vision was blurry. She could make out slight shapes and the hazy glow of sunlight. She blinked ten times and it stayed the same. She couldn't see 100 percent but it was a whole lot better than total darkness. She had to still be dreaming…
She slowly got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She looked at the mirror above the basin, a mirror that had always been there but never used. She strained her eyes as she took in the form of her head. She could see the bright hair that framed her face and the slight shapes of her nose, eyes and mouth.
She made her way outside hastily to call on Rikichi who she knew was always around outside when Renji wasn't around. No matter how many times she insisted Rikichi sleep on the couch, he never accepted.
"Rikichi-kun!" she called out and in less than 10 seconds the air around her moved and she heard him.
"Inoue-san? What is it? Are you okay?" he said speedily while checking her for any injuries. He was pulled out of his musings when he felt Orihime's hands on his face and when he looked up at her in shock, all he saw was an expression of awe. A slight blush dusted his cheeks.
"I-Inoue-san…?"
She pulled on the strands of his hair and looked at him in wonder. She then realised what she was doing and heard his stuttering question.
"Gomen! I think I'm regaining my sight Rikichi-kun! I was making sure what I was seeing was real! Sorry if I made you uncomfortable! I should have asked…" she said while looking at the floor.
His eyes widened in shock until he realised he was still staring at her. "No Inoue-san, it's okay. Don't apologise. You can see! That's great!" he said smiling brightly
"Hai… but only shapes and a bit of light, nothing solid…" she replied smiling softly at him.
"Hai, but that's still great! Let me get Abarai Taicho! Go inside Inoue-san" he said while ushering her towards the door. "I'll get him here now." When she was safely inside he shut the door and shunpo'd away.
Orihime couldn't believe it. She was still in shock as she looked around her house. She could make out the outline of all the objects within her home. She couldn't stop smiling, her cheeks were literally paining.
She had no idea what was happening to her or why after she had the splitting headache and the weird dream that was allowing her to gain her vision. She didn't want to get her hopes up too much. What if it would go back to the way it was, she would be crushed…
Before she could think any further, the door burst open and she was pulled into a bear hug.
"Hime! Are you okay? What's wrong?" Renji asked frantically as he pulled away from the hug and looked searchingly at her face as she looked back at him with her mouth agape.
Orihime was stunned at first but as she looked at Renji up close she was in awe. She could finally see what he looked like… Well almost… She pulled his face closer to hers and touched the features on them lightly.
"Hime… Are you okay? Rikichi said that I should get here urgently, he didn't say what was wrong. Does it have anything to do with the headache you had yesterday? If that's the case then let's go to Squad four now. I'll get Unohana Taicho to chec-"
"I can see Renji-kun…" Orihime cut Renji's rambling off short with her soft words as she smiled up at him.
"N-N-Nani…? W-What happened…?" Renji spluttered, dumfounded
"I can't see fully but I can just make out shapes… I like your ponytail Renji-kun" she giggled.
"Oi! You get your sight back partially and the first thing you do is laugh at my hair!" he couldn't help but laugh as well. "Wow Hime… When did this happen and how?" Renji asked, although he was a bit worried.
"I don't know how but after I fell asleep last night I had this weird dream in which there was only darkness. Then there were these tiny voices calling out my name. I don't know who they are…" she said, frowning now
"What did they say?"
"They said something about me not remembering them. The one was a bit loud and kept calling me woman all the time. I don't know if I was just dreaming but when I woke up, I could make out the outline of objects and a bit of light…"
Renji didn't know what to think. Maybe it was her powers that were talking to her. Rukia had said that she had six fairies that resided in her hairpins and Orihime could talk to them at will. Maybe they weren't dormant anymore… He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard her melodious voice.
"I can even see your tattoos slightly…And your eyes, your nose, your ears, your cheeks and your lips…" for every feature she mentioned, she had run her finger tips along them, sending shivers down Renji's body.
He bent down and kissed her lightly, savoring the taste of her.
Orihime pulled back, flushed slightly and looked up at Renji. She gave him a huge smile, "Renji-kun… I can even see your smile slightly…"
Orihime was overjoyed at that. She had always wanted to see his smile, compared to the one she had imprinted in her mind, the real thing would be so much better.
He nuzzled her neck and started sucking on her collarbone while his hands slid up and down her sides wishing it was bare skin. He was about to carry out his ministrations when she stopped him.
"Renji-kun…" She said breathily "I have to start baking or the kids are gonna starve…" she smiled. "You're too much of a distraction Taicho…"
Renji groaned in distress, "Hai, hai… Fine, go on, but remember, I'm not done with you…" he said grinning as he nipped at her bottom lip then watched her scramble away giggling.
Renji leaned on the counter and watched Orihime work after she refused to let him help. He got lost in his thoughts about her regaining her sight partially. He wondered what had triggered it all.
She had said that she heard voices calling out to her in her dream, asking her if she remembered them. It probably was her fairies that were calling out to her.
Maybe it was the loss of her powers that were hindering her sight and now that she was regaining them her sight would be restored… That's just too many maybe's… and it's not like he could talk to her about it, she might think he'd been lying to her all this time…
Suddenly Renji was stunned at a realization, what if with regaining her powers and her sight she regained her memories as well… Renji's eyes widened at this. Would she be angry at him because he never told her the truth about her past life and pretended to have met her for the first time?
Would she hate him for allowing her to have these strong feelings for him or to even allow herself to give herself freely to him when he knew about their past. However it was the one thought above all that made his blood run cold. Would she go back to loving the substitute shinigami and throw him off to the sidelines…
He felt sick to his stomach at that thought. It literally wanted to make him keel over right there. His breathing became shallow and his chest felt constricted. It hurt like hell just too even think about it. He was brought out of his panic attack when he noticed dainty hands waving in front of him and a sweet voice call out to him.
"Renji-kun! What's wrong? You seemed to space out there for a moment. Are you ok?" she came closer to him, looking up at his face, trying to make out if she could see his expression. She gasped when he suddenly grabbed her into a firm hug, holding her tight and securely around her waist while nuzzling his face in her hair.
"R-Renji-kun…? You're scaring me… What is it…?" she said as she slid her hands behind his neck, rubbing his back gently. She could hear that his breathing had changed as well as his aura.
"Nothing Hime… Nothing… I just… I… I love you…" he breathed into her neck.
Orihime smiled, "I love you Renji-kun." She caressed his back and thought about how these things only happen in dreams and now it was her reality. She was about to ask him why he was so agitated when he cut her short.
"I'll look after you Hime, I promise to keep you safe and I'll make you happy. I'll never take you for granted or let you go. I won't let anyone take you away from me. Just promise me that you'll always stay with me and you'll never forget my promise." He pulled away from her slightly to gauge her reaction and hear her answer.
"Renji-kun, I-I"
"Just promise me Hime…"
"Hai, I'll always be here Renji-kun, I promise. I won't leave you, I couldn't. I love you… and I'm not going anywhere… I swear…" she said softly, smiling up at him while holding his face between her hands. She couldn't understand why he was feeling this way. Why would she want to leave him? He seemed so scared… but she didn't want to ask him about it. He seemed content with her reply.
Renji smiled and sighed into her hand. He felt a little ashamed of himself the way he had made those promises. It was as if he was promising her things that Ichigo didn't give her, things that she had wanted from the substitute shinigami and he felt guilty that he made her promise him something knowing full well she had no memories of the past…
Although she didn't know about her previous life, he needed her to know that he would always be there for her. He wouldn't let her slip through his fingers. He just hoped that she always remembered it… He kissed her, with all the passion and love he had inside him.
"Hime… I need to show you just how much I love you…" he whispered as he swept her up into his arms and made his way to the bedroom. Once there he stripped them both of their clothes and continued to show her everything he felt for her, until it was imprinted on her soul…
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Thanks for reading :)
To Fantasy Obsession, this one was for you. Your reviews always make me smile that my face hurts and extremely happy :) Thanks :)