A/N: Lots of thanks to ladygris for her patient Beta services and endless emails to help me work out plot bunnies that were eating all my carrots.

Thanks,

~Sandy

Not a Hero

Chapter 14

A Cement Trampoline

Evan rushed out into the hall, doors opening to his left and right telling him others had heard it too. The scream came again setting all his nerves on edge, making his skin crawl and his throat ache. He did not want to know what terror had pushed that sound out of a human throat. "The hell…"

The next scream gave him a location, the room across from his. The others, men and women, made huffing sounds and went back into their rooms all but one. When he started to go back into his room, Evan stopped him. "Wait! Aren't you gonna call security?" Evan cringed when the scream came again.

The man, also in his boxers, yawned and scratched his bare chest. "It's Sheppard. He does that almost every night." He waved a hand in the general direction of the closed door. "Just go back to bed. It'll be over in a little while." The door slammed behind him and Evan was left in the hall alone to listen to the next scream which thankfully wasn't as loud at the previous ones. Not willing to just wait for it to stop, Evan pounded on the door until it was opened by a sleep-disheveled John. The air rushed in and out of his open mouth, his chest rising and falling as if he'd been running for his life.

"What?"

The man's tone made Evan feel as if he were the one scaring the crap out of everyone in the middle of the night. "You okay?"

John pushed a hand through his hair not meeting Evan's blue gaze. "Why do you care?"

"I don't. But if you're gonna do that every night, I need to know so I can get earplugs."

"Do whatever the hell you want." The door slammed on his last word.

As Evan went back to his room, the guy who'd been in the hall before stuck his head out. "Sorry. Shoulda warned you. He doesn't play well with others, especially after one of his nightmares. Not even Keller."

"Who's Keller?"

"You'll find out." And then he was gone again.

Evan took that as his cue and went back into his own room. Knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep immediately, he picked up the magazine on the dresser and lay down to read. By the time he'd finished the article on Charlie Sheen and his latest bout with the authorities, he was ready doze off again.

~~O~~

John didn't want to go back to sleep after Evan had awakened him from the same nightmare that had been plaguing him for years. It had started to get better just after his first session with Dr. Adams. That is until he'd been reminded of it again tonight. He lay down on the bed, rolled onto his side and pulled the covers up to his neck.

It always made him feel better when he saw Angel but she hadn't been around for a few days and he wondered if it was him or Magee that caused her to stay away. The night he'd pushed her away it had been for her own good as well as his. She needed to be with someone who wasn't…wounded. He knew the descent into a hell he couldn't get out of was just a matter of time, his new job and position aside, and he didn't want to drag her down by virtue of association.

And that reminded him of Magee. That man shouldn't be allowed to breathe the same air as civilized human beings, provided he was human. In this place it was hard to tell. And after he'd seen the DVDs concerning the Stargate program, he understood why security was so tight.

Rolling onto his other side, John clamped his hand around the pendent he'd taken from the drawer. He'd promised Catlin that he would give it to her parents if anything had happened to her, but hadn't been able to face them and now they were gone. Her mother had died from a heart attack a few years back and her father had been killed in a carjacking about eighteen months ago. She didn't have any siblings and he hadn't the nerve to find out if she had grandparents, cousins, aunts or uncles. Likewise she'd never mentioned a best friend so that option was out. Tucking his hand under the pillow, he closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep.

The Next Day

Tish opened the door and ushered John inside. Usually he took the end of the sofa closest to the chair she liked to sit in but not today. Though he tried to give the appearance of casualness, she could see the tension in his stance, the way his eyes wouldn't look at her and the dark circles under his eyes. And he hadn't shaved.

"I don't feel so good, doc. How about we do this tomorrow or even next week?"

"What's wrong?"

"Feel like I've been jumping on a cement trampoline." He rubbed a hand through his hair.

Touching his shoulder, she waited for him to look at her. "Please sit down." Reluctantly he obeyed. "What's this about?"

"Nothing. It's just…I ran into a past I'd rather not think about right now. Or ever if possible."

"I assume you're talking about the new agent, Evan Lorne. Haven't met him yet." He didn't respond. With a small smile, she took out the pen and pad she used to take notes. "We aren't going to go into that today."

"Good." He rested the ankle of his right foot on his left knee and unbuttoned his jacket. "So what are we gonna talk about?"

"I've been letting you decide the course of our sessions these last few times."

John gave her a lopsided smile that was without humor. "And I've appreciate it."

Tish uncrossed her legs covered in black slacks today and crossed them the other way. "But now we need to get down to brass tacks, as they say."

"Don't like the sound of that."

The pen scratched on the pad as she made notes. "Tell me about the money."

"Money?" John had been wondering when someone would bring that up but he'd expected it to be Woolsey or McKay.

"When they found you in the desert, you had a valise filled with cash that had been taken from the Wraith."

"Oh, that money."

"Start at the beginning and tell me what your thoughts were."

For just a moment, John stared at her. He didn't moved the foot in the air back and forth and he realized she wouldn't drop the subject. With a deep sigh, he began his story. "I'd gone to the motel where the Wraith had been staying. When I searched his room, there it was. More money than I'd ever seen in my life…"

Stargate Command

Infirmary

Rodney dozed in the bed next to Sam's, Daniel cradled in his arms. The boy had just been fed and had gone immediately to sleep. Sam was feeding Olivia and about to doze off herself. Both parents had gotten very little sleep the last couple of days and the reasons were twofold. Newborns are prone to waking up crying every couple of hours and they'd expected that. But the most worrying thing was the possibility that the telekinesis would still be a problem. Carolyn and Jennifer were very understanding and let the Carter-McKay family stay where the children could be monitored 24/7. So far, all had been relatively quiet with no incidents of objects floating through the air.

Their growth was being carefully monitored as well and would continue to be checked on a regular basis. But so far they'd only shown the growth of normal newborns. Their consumption of formula was average for their size and the weight gain standard. Still, the new parents insisted on twice daily checks on their progress and often fell asleep in the ward awaiting the results of the tests.

A woman entered the Infirmary and made her way over to the occupied beds, peering into each small face and smiling. Returning to Rodney's side, she touched him gently on the shoulder, whispering his name. "Rodney?"

The physicist blinked and yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Elizabeth?"

"I heard about the additions to your family, but didn't expect it to happen so soon."

He swung his legs over the side and sat up. "Neither did we. Um, would you like to hold him?"

"I would indeed." Elizabeth pulled a chair up to the bedside and accepted the small bundle. "What's his name?"

"Daniel and the girl is Olivia."

Elizabeth looked up at Rodney watching him, marveling at the change in him since he and Sam had fallen in love. He eased the bottle from Sam's lax fingers and carefully took Olivia from her. With his free hand, he let the head of the bed down, turned out the light and pulled the curtain between them so she could sleep in peace for a few minutes.

Perching on the side of the bed, he said, "I heard you had some excitement yourself."

With a roll of her eyes, Elizabeth nodded. "The symbiote's name is Anouke. We've just come from reporting to the Tok'ra."

"When is it coming out?"

Now the diplomat's smile faded. "Not long after we were joined, Anouke found that I had a tumor growing inside my brain. It was too small to have been seen on a scan and is in an area that is inoperable. If its allowed to grow, well, let's just say it wouldn't be a pretty picture and leave it at that. Hermiod wanted to use the Asgard beaming technology to try to remove it but he couldn't guarantee that it would work. We declined his offer."

"So stay joined. You'll be the first Tok'ra in Pegasus."

"No, Rodney. I'll be going back to Atlantis but only to get my things and turn command of the expedition over to Colonel Caldwell."

"What did that thing do to you that you'd give up your dream?" His voice rose in pitch making Olivia wiggle. He rubbed her back to calm her.

Elizabeth's eyes flashed, her voice changing. "I did nothing to influence her decision, Dr. McKay. It was mutually agreed that we would join the Tok'ra here in this galaxy. We know that you do not like Colonel Caldwell but he is fully capable of commanding the expedition."

"Yeah, but…"

The curtain around Sam's bed was pulled back. "Elizabeth." She came around the bed and leaned down to give her a quick hug. "Did I hear right, Caldwell's taking over?"

Anouke changed places with Elizabeth. "If you heard that then you also know why."

"Yes and I'm sorry it had to happen."

"Don't be. I'm quite happy with my current situation." The dark-haired woman smiled and it was one of contentment. "Before I return to Atlantis to make the change official, may I please hold Olivia?'

"Of course." Sam took Daniel from her and Rodney laid Olivia in Elizabeth's arms. "They're beautiful. I assume the boy is named after Dr. Jackson."

Sam answered with a smile. "Yes."

"Who is Olivia named after?"

Rodney carefully moved his son until he was draped over his left shoulder and rubbed his back gently. "My sisters, both of them. Olivia was just seventeen months old when she died from crib death. Jeannie came along a couple of years later."

Elizabeth handed the baby to Sam and stood. "Congratulations. I know you're going to be great parents. It's time for me to go. There's a dialout to Atlantis in a few minutes and I'll be going with the supplies and staff rotating back to Pegasus." She quickly hugged them both and left without looking back.

~~O~~

With the McKays in good hands, Jennifer thought it was time to check in on John again. She'd promised to visit every few days but with the babies coming, she hadn't had a chance. Carolyn would keep her apprised of any situations that developed so a quick trip to Area 52 then back to Atlantis for the change of command. She would smile so that all would think she was completely on board with it but she wasn't. Caldwell had always felt he was a better choice as commander for the expedition and had made no secret of the fact that he wanted Elizabeth's job. And now he would get it. The future of Atlantis was at stake because she could foresee a mass exodus back to Earth within just a few weeks. Including herself.

In the Gate Room, Jennifer stood out of the way as those headed for Atlantis passed through the event horizon and disappeared. The 'gate shut down and Walter's voice came over the PA.

"The Daedalus is ready to receive you, Dr. Keller."

Moments later she was standing in the lobby of Area 52. Scanning her card, she headed for the Infirmary. Unfortunately she had to pass David's office and the door was open. "Damn." She sidled up to the door and peeked in. He had his headset on and was facing away from the door talking to someone. His speech was informal so it may have been a friend or family member. Careful not to make any noise, she hurried past his door.

Not until she reached the Infirmary did she breathe a sigh of relief. Ana was in her usual place behind the desk. Normally she had on her professional smile, the one all medical personnel learn to project. But today her smile lit up her entire face and when Jennifer got close she saw why. Derek was standing there holding her hand and from their body language they weren't talking about work. It's about time!

Walking backward, she made noise to announce her presence and turned the corner to see Derek sign a chart and hand it back to Ana as if they were conducting business and nothing more. Not wanting to embarrass them, she kept any comments about what she'd see to herself.

"Heard the babies are here, Jen. How'd it go?" Derek leaned against the desk.

"Great. So far it looks like their growth is normal now that they're not getting blood from mom."

"Good." Ana stood. "You brought pictures, right?"

"Of course." Jennifer took out her phone and scanned through the photos getting "oohs" and "aahs" from both. "Daniel and Olivia." She shoved the phone in her pocket and clasped her hands together in front of her. "Could I see Sheppard's file please?" Ana handed the file over and waited while it was read. "What's this from last night? He hasn't needed a sleeping pill in a couple of weeks."

"Not a clue. Tried to get out of his session with the shrink too, or so I heard." Derek crossed his arms the way he did when talking about John.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Barry Miller stayed overnight and said he was awakened by one of Sheppard's nightmares again. He hasn't had one like that in a couple of weeks. Woke up that new agent, too."

Jennifer's expression changed to confused. "New agent?"

"Yeah." Ana took out a new smaller file and passed it over. "Name's Evan Lorne. Former SFPD cop. Now he's Sheppard's partner and neither one is happy about it, according to the coconut telegraph."

Derek nodded. "Gave him his physical yesterday. He's in perfect health. Almost textbook."

"So I see. Hmm. I should go at least say hello. Where is he?"

"Spent most of the day in orientation. Probably in the gym." Derek followed her as she headed in that direction.

They parted at the junction and Jennifer stopped at the doorway to the gym. A man with light brown hair was lifting weights while John ran on the treadmill. She watched Lorne wipe his face with a towel and take a drink of water while watching John's back with rancor. From his expression she could see he wanted to run too but the only other treadmill was next to John. With a roll of his shoulders, he went over and began walking then running.

John glanced to the side and upped his speed just a little. A moment later, Lorne did the same thing. On and on it went until both were running so fast she didn't know how they managed to keep going. She was about to intervene when John fell and rolled off the end onto the floor, the treadmill automatically shutting off. He lay there holding his left leg, his face twisted in pain. She could see that he'd gotten a muscle cramp. Too much, too soon.

Lorne continued to run and she was about to chastise him for ignoring someone who was injured when he shut down his own machine and went to John's side. She couldn't hear what they said to each other and hoped she wouldn't have to break up a fight. To her surprise, Lorne sat on the end of the treadmill, took hold of John's leg to help stretch the calf muscle.

John relaxed when the muscle finally released. He nodded, Lorne let go and stood looking down at him. He seemed to make a decision and extended his hand. After a moment's hesitation, John took and Lorne helped him to his feet. John retrieved his towel and water bottle as Lorne went back to the treadmill while John went to the corner to do his cool down.

Judging that John was doing as well as could be expected, she ducked around the corner and hurried back toward the office she shared with Derek.

~~O~~

John landed on the floor with a thump. He knew he'd been running too fast considering his physical condition, but when Lorne got on next to him and kept upping his speed, well, it was like it was a challenge. Then came the Charlie horse. The calf muscle of his left leg was hard as a rock and hurt like hell. Resigning himself to just lying on the floor until it stopped, John tried not to show shock when Lorne squatted next to him.

"Need help with that?"

John snorted. "What makes you an expert?"

"Mom teaches art classes and gets them from being on her feet all the time." Evan moved around to sit on the end of the treadmill, wrapped one hand around John's ankle and grabbed the toe of his sneaker. Pulling on the heel while he pushed the toes toward John's head, the muscle slowly relaxed and his leg straightened.

Nodding, John met Evan's eyes briefly. "Thanks." Evan stood, paused and extended his hand. John took it and got to his feet, grabbing his towel and water bottle.

Evan got back on the treadmill and went back to his workout not even looking up when John left a few minutes later.

~~O~~

Checking the time, Jennifer judged it was safe to go get something to eat. Though safe was a relative term. Going over the limited choices that would be available in the Commissary this late at night, she turned the corner and ran right into the one person she never wanted to see again. Ever.

TBC