A/N: A multitude of thanks to ladygris for all her help with this chapter. The title was her idea, just as an example. She also suggested I leave out a few things that would have made this just a jumble of words put together randomly that made only partial sense.

Thanks,

~Sandy

Not a Hero

Chapter 19

Victory

Evan drew back from the punch, tugged his shirt back into place, ran a hand through his hair and faced John and Jennifer again. Both were looking at him as if he'd grown a second head and a third arm. "What?"

"Uh…" Jennifer didn't know what to say after that.

John, however, did. "You hit him." Evan didn't say anything. "I can't believe you hit him."

"What was I supposed to do? Let him get away with saying…what he said?"

"But Iwanted to hit him," John grouched.

"Me, too," Jennifer piped up.

"Uhnh…" Magee shook his head to clear it then got to his hands and knees.

Crouching next to him, John said, "I'd stay down if I were you. He might try to hit you again and I'd let him."

Magee sat on the floor working his jaw. "I'll have allyour jobs for this. None of you will ever…"

"…have to worry about your threats again, David. I am appalled that someone in the employ of the Stargate Program would do something so unspeakable."

Joining his co-conspirators, John motioned for quiet as Woolsey glowered down at the man on the floor.

Magee stared up at Woolsey then climbed to his feet. The younger man took his time smoothing his hair and carefully straightening his clothing, ending with tugging on snow white cuffs that glittered with platinum and onyx cufflinks. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Richard, though it's just as well. I'm ready to move on to something different."

"At least we agree that you're moving on. Your father's friendship with President Gardner is the only reason I haven't requested your resignation. Unless of course you want to resign. You have thirty minutes to clean out your desk and turn in your access card. Either a transfer request or a resignation should be in my Inbox before you leave."

Bending down to pick up his phone, Magee slipped it into his inside breast pocket. "And you'll have it, but only because it suits me to do so. I've been thinking about transferring to DC anyway."

Woolsey shared a significant glance with the others, letting Magee get as far as the door before speaking again. "David, I should mention that there are no openings in DC. There is, however, a posting that's perfect for your particular…skill set. I know you'll love Whitehorse in winter."

Naturally, John could let someone else have the last word. "I hear it gets a little chilly in the Yukon Territories so be sure to take a sweater."

His face red with anger, Magee considered what to say and decided to remain quiet for once. He turned and made a hasty exit while John and Evan grinned and waved good-bye. Jennifer just heaved a relieved sigh and leaned against the counter.

Seconds later Tish entered, watching Magee stalk down the hall. "Nice work, guys. You know, I never liked him. He always tried to look up my skirt, even when I was wearing pants."

John looked around at his companions. "You know, the world is filled not only with genuinely ignorant people, but with people who embrace their ignorance as if it could shield them from things they have no control over…but he's elevated it to an art form."

~~O~~

Woolsey looked from John to Jennifer to Evan. All three looked back unflinchingly. "You understand that this entire operation was a gross misuse of company resources?"

John, Jennifer and Evan didn't even bother to consult each other. They just smiled and nodded, not the least bit repentant.

"As the Director of this facility I'll let you off with a verbal warning…this time. But as a human being, you did great." He went to the exit and when he reached Tish's side he turned back. "And get rid of those cameras before General O'Neill arrives next week."

~~O~~

Vesuvius served Italian food with grace and aplomb at reasonable prices with a casual atmosphere in an area not far from the strip. Close enough for the diners to go out for a few hours of gambling after eating but not so close that the over-abundance of lights and people aggravated. Jennifer chose it specifically because it didn't have any form of gambling devices within its walls. She could see John getting antsy, their triumph over Magee making him want to celebrate by laying a bet. She wanted to do the same though she wouldn't. And while she wasn't his official sponsor with GA there was no way he'd backslide with her around to prevent it.

Jennifer didn't know everything about John's past, not like Rodney did but she knew enough. Deep inside there was a warm and loving man waiting to emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon. It would take some time for that man to come out into the light of day where he could flourish and she was willing to wait. Not that she was in love with him. But she did care about the scared little boy that he had once been and still was in many ways. His reaction to the clothes she'd bought him had shown her that.

What she was surprised to see was the way he conducted himself now that his first "mission" had been completed. The situation with Magee had no doubt bolstered his flagging confidence allowing some of the *real* John Sheppard to emerge. Or at least the John Sheppard he could have been had his life not taken several disastrous wrong turns.

He'd ordered their meals and the wine in Italian, speaking the language with no trace of an accent seemingly at ease with a long hidden part of himself for the first time since she'd met him. In fact, nearly every move he'd made since they'd left Area 52 spoke of someone who'd been brought up with money though she knew he hadn't a dime to his name at the moment and very little before that. He even made a joke-in Italian!-that had the server, a distinguished man in his fifties who'd immigrated to the US from Italy just ten years previously, laughing.

When the meal was over, they decided to walk off some of the Pasta e Fagioli, Osso Buco, Spaghetti alla Vincenzo, Chicken Portafino and Tiramisu with Kahlua. John on her left and Evan on her right, they maintained a companionable silence just taking in the sights of one of the few areas that didn't have wall to wall casinos.

As they passed a small store that advertised nothing priced over two dollars, Jennifer entered and returned with two of the gaudiest walking canes they'd ever seen. One was bright green with orange dots all over it and the other was yellow with purple stripes. Both had grips shaped like incomplete question marks in fake brass. They had been complete gentlemen, and her strange sense of humor wanted to reward them. She held the gaudy sticks out, but John and Evan just stared at her so she tucked them under her arm and kept walking.

Just as Jennifer had decided to tuck her free hand into the crook of John's elbow, they turned the corner and were confronted by a group of five men, the oldest of which couldn't have been more than twenty-three. A pile of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles against the side of the building told the story of how they'd lain in wait for rich tourists who'd wandered off the beaten path.

"Your money, jewelry, watches and cell phones. Now!" The snick of a switchblade opening followed the snarled order.

~~O~~

Pushing Angel behind them, John and Lorne engaged the young men in a battle that didn't last long as their would-be robbers had absolutely no fighting skills. They'd evidently relied on intimidation, numbers and the knife to get them what they wanted. When the two former military officers were through, four men lay moaning and groaning on the sidewalk.

John dusted his hands off while Lorne pulled out his cell phone, but before he could dial his attention was caught by the clack and crack of wood smacking wood. As one, they swung around to see Angel using one of those ridiculous canes to engage the fifth robber in a sort of sword fight.

Somehow, the last guy had gotten one of Angel's canes and was attempting to hit her with it, but the medical doctor countered every one of his moves and even got in a few licks of her own. The guy let down his guard and Angel's cane whooshed through the air to whack him on the side of his knee. She twirled the cane like a baton as she stayed just out of reach, stepping in to hit him then backing off just as quickly.

Her face a mask of concentration, she switched hands and hit the man on the knuckles of his right hand making him drop his weapon. While he nursed his sore fingers, she used the toe of her shoe to step on the grip of the cane he'd dropped and flip it into the air, catching it in her right hand.

I better watch my step with her or she could do some damage. Oh, man! I think I'm in loooove!

Now she twirled both canes waiting for her opponent to make a move. And he did. He tried to bull-rush her but she stepped aside at the last second and smacked him on the backside making him howl with pain and the loss of his dignity.

~~O~~

Evan watched with fascination as Jennifer beat the living daylights out of the last of the robbers. He knew he should intervene but watching her was just so…captivating. She moved with grace and determination, easily countering all the man's moves. At that moment he completely understood Sheppard's attraction for her. He had a small crush on her himself.

Sheppard leaned close to whisper, "Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"That Magee got off easy?" His partner nodded. "Yeah." They watched a few seconds longer then Evan started forward but Sheppard stopped him.

"This one's mine." Sheppard slipped around behind the man who'd managed to get hold of one of the canes and was trying to yank it from Jennifer's hands. He tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned, John hit him with a powerful uppercut that knocked him out.

Evan used his cell to call the police and tell them where to pick up a bunch of trash. Knowing that his number was blocked and completely unhackable, he didn't bother to give his name. Thumbing the end key, he tuned in just as Jennifer was taking Sheppard to task.

"How long were you gonna just stand there and watch, John? Evan?"

Sheppard had the decency to look contrite. "Sorry, but you seemed to have everything under control."

Jennifer sputtered with indignation, unable to form a coherent word she was so angry. But that anger dissipated when Evan told her, "That was impressive, doc. Where'd you learn it?"

They started walking back toward their vehicle. "Atlantis. Teyla, the leader of the Athosians gave me lessons in Bantos fighting using sticks about so long…" she spread her hands wide still holding the canes, "…with fancy carvings on them. Once you're even mildly proficient, well, you saw. You can use just about anything to fight with. I once used a branch to fend off a Wraith until Rodney could get his Glock unjammed and shoot him."

"Like Jackie Chan." Grinning, Sheppard remarked, "We have got to go there one of these days."

She rolled her eyes as she veered off to shove the blood smeared canes into a trash can. "Yes, like Jackie Chan. And you should come for a visit. I'll introduce you to Ronon."

"Ronon?" Evan asked, not certain he'd like the answer.

"He's, uh…I guess you could call him the Pegasus version of Chewbacca, but with a major attitude."

~~O~~

Silence came over the trio and Jennifer got an urge. Again walking in the middle, she lifted her hand and tucked it around John's elbow. He started at the sudden touch then relaxed bending that arm and holding it tight to his side.

After a few steps he gave her a quick glance which she returned with a smile.

~~O~~

Once again John gave Angel his room, knowing that she'd be wearing one of his shirts to bed. If this kept happening, he'd have no T-shirts left because he refused to have them washed. He felt he was being a fool for doing so though no one else knew. It was his little secret that he loved the way his clothes smelled after she'd worn them to sleep in.

Lorne had excused himself and gone into his room leaving John in the hall with Angel.

"Before you go, John, we need to talk." A quick flash of alarm flickered in his eyes and was quickly doused. "About that night."

"I, uh, thought we did that, you know, then."

She led him to her office and closed the door making sure it was locked. Still, she lowered her voice. "What almost happened between us is what Magee was using to get me to…" Her earlier elation and bravado having dissipated, she took a deep breath forcing herself to continue. "What if Mr. Woolsey sees that recording? We'll both be in trouble and getting rid of Magee would have been a waste of time."

"Getting rid of a creep like him is never a waste of time."

"Don't act like an idiot, John. You can't pull it off." Her expression was annoyed. "We almost slept together."

John faced the floor, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But we didn't." He felt more than saw her come to stand in front of him.

"And there's something else. While it's not expressly forbidden, members of GA are discouraged from beginning any new…intimate relationships. At least not right away." Her voice changed and he knew she was smirking now. "So you're safe for the time being."

He leaned his hips against the door, arms crossed to keep from reaching for her. Safe is relative. I'll never be safe with you around, Angel. His awkward and uncomfortable expression was back though he did smile. "You know, I have to talk to Doc Adams about my feelings all the time. Can't I get a break the rest of the time?" The second the words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back. Especially when her features softened and blossoms of pink sprouted on her cheeks. He didn't know why, but that got to him. It just got to him.

"Did you just say you have feelings…for me?"

"Uh…" His eyes wouldn't meet hers because he knew what she would see. She would see that he wanted to take her in his arms and go forward from where they left off the night they'd kissed. But he didn't dare. Somehow he knew that even one time with her would create an instant addiction he'd never be able to overcome. Nor would he want to.

"Relax. You don't have to answer, but I do want you to think about something." Angel held out her hands and after a moment, he placed his much larger ones in them. She gripped tight but didn't pull him close. "If you hold on too tightly to the past, your arms will be too full to embrace the present."

~~O~~

Standing there holding John's hands, Jennifer could feel him pulling away. Not physically but emotionally. At least it wasn't a hasty retreat as it had been before. This time it was a slow drift as if they were on a lazy river in separate boats that were moving away from each other a little bit at a time. Eventually, he released her hands letting his arms hang at his sides.

"I better go."

All Jennifer could do was nod as she watched him leave her again.

~~O~~

John stopped in the doorway, one hand holding the door open, wavering. Did he want to give in to temptation? He let his subconscious lead him and before Angel could do more than widen her eyes, he'd swept her close and kissed her. He'd thought she'd push him away given what they'd been talking about, but she responded very enthusiastically. He let his hands rest on her waist, making her gasp as they slid up her sides to just under her breasts without actually touching them, then moved around to her back.

His mind went blank when she moved against him, stirring the embers that had smoldered between them since the moment they'd met in the morgue over that dead body. Oh, yeah. He'd finally admitted to himself that he'd been drawn to her from the beginning. And from the way she was responding, it was mutual. But he also knew that if they didn't call a halt to this and soon, they'd both be filled with regret in the morning.

Reluctantly, he slowed then stopped their kiss, and stepped back. One last lingering glance at her flushed face, heaving chest and tousled hair and he was gone.

~~O~~

Dora knew Jennifer was on the premises and sought her out for her signature on some requisitions. What she found instead was her boss in a passionate clench with a former patient. Not that she was surprised. She'd seen the way they looked at each other when the other wasn't looking. No. What did surprise her was that it took this long. The petite nurse just grinned and went back to work.

It's about time!

~~O~~

Instead of going straight to the Infirmary, John headed for the Commissary to get something cold to drink hoping it would help calm his overheated body and racing heart. But when he reached the doorway, he heard something that did the job better than the coldest shower.

Obviously thinking they were alone, two of the female staff were talking. Or rather gossiping. He stopped out of their sight when he heard his name.

"Did you hear about the fight between those two new agents, Sheppard and Lorne?"

The snap-pop of a soda can being opened preceded the response. "Yeah! That was somethin' else wasn't it? They beat the snot out of each other."

"Know what else I heard? Lorne holds Sheppard responsible for killing his wife."

"No!"

"Yeah! Her name was Lisa or Leela or Lena. Something like that. And she was pregnant with their baby at the time. Though how Lorne could let her deploy to Afghanistan if she was expectin' a baby I've no idea."

"Unless he didn't know. I wonder if he needs a sympathetic shoulder to cry on." The tone of the woman's voice indicated that she'd be happy to provide said shoulder, and a lot more, if given the chance.

But John didn't hang around to hear any more. The contents of the conversation had sent his rampaging libido into hiding where it now lay whimpering in a dark corner afraid to come out again.

I don't blame Lorne for hating me. His wife and child are dead and it's my fault!

Not bothering to change into his workout clothes, he went to the gym and began running on the treadmill. He ran and ran and ran until he was so exhausted he could barely walk. Instead of stopping at the nurse's desk for scrubs, he went straight to the bed he'd been sleeping in, kicked off his shoes and fell instantly asleep.

The Next Day

Evan ran into Jennifer in the Commissary at breakfast. They shared a table as they talked about anything and everything except Sheppard. And that was fine with him.

Mostly, she regaled him with stories, good and bad, about events in Pegasus. He was laughing one minute and sad the next, especially after the story of the crystal entity that had killed the staff psychologist and three soldiers and had nearly killed McKay before it was stopped.

He told her about his tour in Afghanistan, though he didn't mention Lee or the reason for the tension between Sheppard and himself, seguing into how he'd been chosen as a member of the mounted patrol in Golden Gate Park. She giggled when he told her he'd only been an Inspector for one day before joining Area 52.

It was during this time of sharing he realized that, though he found Jennifer quite attractive and even had a bit of a crush on her, they weren't meant to be more than friends, and he could live with that. And he'd support any decision she made regarding Sheppard as long as the other man didn't break her heart. Then all bets were off.

A lull fell between them as he sipped his second cup of coffee and she ate the last bite of her scrambled egg whites and whole wheat toast with strawberry preserves.

Pushing his fork around on the table, he waited for her to finish before moving the conversation forward with a new subject. Jennifer wiped her mouth, wadded the napkin in a ball and placed it in her plate.

"Jen, why does Sheppard call you Angel?"

Looking away from him, she twisted her water glass back and forth. "I, uh, have no idea." She cleared her throat nervously. "Wh-why do you ask?"

"Well, every time he calls you Angel…" her cheeks turned pink, "…you blush."

"Oh, i-i-it's just a, uh, private, you know, joke."

She tried to laugh it off but it came out strained making him feel like a heel for asking. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business what goes on between the two of you."

"There's nothing going on between us. Can we talk about something else?" Now she was shredding an unused napkin into tiny pieces. She realized what she was doing and forced herself to stop. "I heard you have nephews. Tell me about them."

Evan glanced at the clock on the wall. "No time. I have a session with Doc Adams in about ninety seconds. See ya!" He tossed his trash in the can by the door and jogged down the hall out of sight skidding to a stop in front of Tish's door just in time for the door to be opened from the inside.

"Special Agent Lorne. Please come in." Tish stood aside so he could enter and closed them both inside.

~~O~~

John finally dragged himself out of bed just before one in the afternoon. He'd fallen asleep in his dirty, sweaty clothes. At some point during the night someone had covered him with a blanket. Though he'd hoped it was Angel he knew it could only have been Dora playing the mother hen again.

Though it was more than likely, Angel was gone from his room but still he knocked before swiping his card and entering. He'd left one of the T-shirts she'd already worn on the bed and found it on the bathroom counter. Instead of placing it in the drawer with the others, he left it lay.

Shaking his head to dispel the memories, he stripped off his clothes, got into his workout gear and went to the gym to run again. Running cleared his head, helped him to focus on what was important. Helped him see solutions to dilemmas or problems that seemed insurmountable.

Sometime during last night's run, he'd come to the conclusion that, no matter how long or how far he ran, the only thing he'd never be able to outrun was himself. And that thought had kept him running long after he was tired. It had worked too. He was so tired he'd fallen asleep and for once didn't have the dream.

About twenty minutes later, Lorne came in, did his warm up and went to lift weights. John ignored him as best he could, but just knowing he was there gave him the urge to apologize for what he'd done. He felt the beginning of a cramp in in his left calf and stopped the treadmill before it became a full blown Charlie horse, walking around the room to cool down. His towel and water were on the bench near Lorne. He retrieved them, drank half the bottle then wiped his face with the towel. Facing away from his partner, John finally spoke. "Lorne?"

"Yeah?"

John didn't know how to proceed with what he needed to say. "I, uh…" But he couldn't do it. "I've got an appointment so I'm gonna get a shower."

~~O~~

And how does that concern me? Evan thought as he watched Sheppard striding down the hall, his head down and eyes averted from anyone he saw coming his way. What the hell was that all about?

With a shrug, Evan moved over to the treadmill and began running.

~~O~~

After showering, changing and checking out the Dodge Ram four-door, John drove around and somehow ended up at the place where the Wraith disguised as a human had met a dishonorable end.

Not one thing remained to tell the casual observer what had happened in this place though John saw it all as if it were happening now. The area of his chest just below his collarbone ached reminding him that he'd taken a hit there. There was just the smallest bit of rough skin left as a physical reminder.

He reached down at his feet, wrapping his fingers around a large rock, cocked his arm, his years playing football in high school and college coming back to him as he threw a Hail Mary, losing sight of the rock in the sun.

In the distance he could see buzzards circling something that had died wondering what it would be like to have his bones picked clean then bleached white by the harsh Nevada sun. Hands shoved into his pockets, his right foot reached out and kicked a small tumbleweed. With a heavy sigh he got in the truck, headed back toward town and his old stomping grounds in the back room at Mikey's casino. He didn't have any cash on him, but Mikey knew he was good for it.

TBC

A/N: This came from dwparsnip: (Pursuant to page 53, Paragraph 2 [Subsection 7.2] of the Fanfic Writers Rulebook which states: a fan may request something if he or she has you on the Favorite Author list. I officially request Shepp kicks this guy's behind.)

To dwparsnip: Was Magee's behind kicked to your satisfaction? Stay tuned, mon frère. Major behind kicking yet to come, and not just for Magee.

~SL