Actual story – regular font
My commentary – bold
I'm getting super frustrated with Tara and Ebony/Enoby/Mary Sue/Whatever, so I'm a little more verbally abusive than usual. Enjoy my anger!
Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! It's hard to give you good reviews if I can barely understand what you're saying.

Hi buddies!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. Still with this coffin thing? I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. …Really? So you used actual paint instead of colored hairspray? That sounds bad for your health, but paint is fairly flammable, so that gives you a chance of catching on fire. Carry on then.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula SOOOOOOO GOFFIK! cereal with blood instead of milk Eeeeeeeeeeeeew., and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. My Immortal: Because being goffik means you can do whatever the fuck you want. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. That doesn't make sense…My brain hurts! He didn't have glasses anymore How do you know that he wore glasses before? and now he was wearing red contact lenses Once again, how do you know that? Maybe, just maybe, his eyes are naturally red! Or they're bleeding! just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. I really hope I don't have to say this again, but HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT? He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. Isn't Hogwarts in England? Most people will have an English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. Oh the magic of plastic surgery. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection Wait, what? only I'm a girl Obviously. so I didn't get one you sicko. You said it, not me. So you're the sicko, sicko.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice. WHY THE FUCK IS HARRY SHY?

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire WHY? these days." he grumbled. Someone's grumpy! Are you grumpy, Harry?

"Why?" I exclaimed. "Why" is a question word, Tara. Get your ass back in a grammar class.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. He…giggled. Oh dear god. Someone please shoot me.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared. !

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. I really don't have anything to say for this…Sorry. Oh wait, yes I do! I'm gonna start planning to kill Tara! Anyone with me?