A/N: Goodness me, well aren't you all just fans of this fic idea then? lol And here was me thinking any reviews I got would be asking why I wasn't working on Faking It! But no, you want more of this, so here it is. NOW, I need to go work more on Faking it... right? Oh, and anyone who didn't get it from Chapter 1, this story is set in late Season 1.
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 2
Eliot Spencer wasn't happy, in fact he was much closer to angry, which most people would find pretty scary. Of course, Parker wasn't most people, and honestly she wasn't paying that much attention to Eliot anyway, in spite of the fact she was supposed to be his wife for this con. The thief was fine when she was doing what she knew, what she loved and always had. Stealing was as easy to her as breathing in and out was to most other people. Grifting was harder, it meant being what society called normal. It meant smiling at people she had no time for and remembering fake details like another name and all.
To help her out, Nate had suggested she use an alias she was at least a little familiar with. Hardison had agreed she could use her Alice White persona, since he hadn't got a match between any of the last names he'd assigned to her or Eliot in the past anyway. Instead, he branded her a feminist and let her keep her maiden name, conjuring up a back-dated marriage certificate between Alice and the hitter's alter-ago named Paul MacDonald.
"I still don't get it" Eliot said to Sophie as they waited by the front door of the office for Nate to finish his pep talk with Parker, "Does he seriously think one of you would get recognised if you pulled this job at Twin Souls?" he asked her.
"No, I don't think he does" she sighed heavily, staring through the gap in the not-quite-shut doors at Nate, the permanent glass attached to his hand as he tried one more time to convince Parker she could do this, "From the information Hardison got on this retreat place, I think I found Nate's real problem" she said.
Checking the others were not going to come out of the meeting room for a while, she pulled a sheet on information from her pocket and unfolded it, showing it to Eliot. He looked confused for a moment until one manicured finger came into his field of vision tapping a particular paragraph Sophie wanted him to read.
"Great" Eliot sighed, "So because the man's a drunk, I have to play happy families with the crazy thief?" he complained, as he handed the page back to the grifter, the page that stated the Twin Souls Retreat believed detoxification of the body and mind could help save a marriage - loosely translated, no booze at camp.
"Don't be so hard on Parker" Sophie urged the hitter, "She's nervous enough about this job, and it's not exactly her fault she isn't... well, like all the other girls" she said as tactfully as she could manage.
"So long as she remembers she is Alice, and stops talkin' about herself in the third person, we'll be fine" relented Eliot after a moment's thought, and just in time as the door opened and the rest of the team strolled out.
"Hey, hubby" the blonde joked, with a too-wide grin, faking a punch at Eliot's shoulder.
He could only stare at her as if she was an alien. Sometimes he just didn't get her, most of the time, if he were honest. Now he had to dig deep and come up with reasons why he might be married to her. Yeah, this was gonna be all kinds of fun!
"Welcome to the Twin Souls Couples Retreat" said the overly perky woman at the reception desk.
"Thanks" said Eliot stiffly, feeling awkward as hell with his arm around Parker's shoulders, "Er, I'm Paul MacDonald, this is my wife..."
"Alice White" said the blonde, sticking out her hand too suddenly to shake with the receptionist who looked taken aback, "I kept my maiden name, because I'm a feminist" she announced, and Eliot rolled his eyes.
The thought occurred that in playing his role maybe he ought to keep his reactions in check, but then they were meant to be a couple on the rocks. That meant that when Parker bugged him he could say so without causing too much of a problem, everyone here expected them to be off with each other, in fact, if what their latest client said was true, the staff here would be actively encouraging them to be at each others throats.
Their keys and paperwork handed over, Eliot and Parker aka Paul and Alice were taken by a porter to their room. Somehow it didn't seem to occur to either of them until the door was opened that they would be sharing a bed on this little adventure.
"We hope you enjoy your stay here at Twin Souls, sir, ma'am" said the porter politely, placing their luggage at the end of the bed and moving back towards the door, as the non-couple checked out their surroundings.
"There's no TV" said Parker with a odd look as she glanced back at the guy.
"Oh, I know" the porter smiled, "You'll find a lot of the distractions of daily life are missing from Twin Souls Retreat" he explained, "To help the healing process, we don't allow TVs, radios... you won't even get a cell phone signal around here" he told them with a grin that Eliot so wanted to wipe off his face and probably would've done if the porter hadn't left when he had a moment later.
"Hardison, you hear that?" Parker asked through her earbud, "Hardison!" she tried again, sharing a look of concern with Eliot when she got no answer the second time.
"Damn it, Hardison!" he said angrily as ever, "Can you hear us or not?"
"Eliot? Parker?" Nate tried again, but to no avail.
"They can't have been found out already" said Sophie shaking her head slightly as she played with the bud in her own ear, "And I can't think for a moment they would deliberately sever the connection. Parker was practically begging me to help her with this job before she left"
"Aw, hell no!" Hardison suddenly exclaimed from his place at the table, tapping away on his laptop keys, "They got a jam on cell phone signals, its messing with the frequency on the earbuds too" he explained, as Nate came to look over his shoulder.
"Is there any way you can change the frequency we're transmitting on, try to get around it?" he asked worriedly.
This might have been okay if he and Sophie were in that retreat without backup, maybe, but this was Eliot and Parker, both of whom had a tendency to go with their instincts rather than stick to a plan if not properly instructed.
"I can try, but it ain't gonna be instant" sighed Hardison, knowing already this was going to be a hell of a days work.
"In the meantime, do we have any other way of knowing what's going on in there?" asked Sophie as she walked around the table, staring up at the pictures on the vid-wall, specifically the shot of the lavish hotel-style building at the resort, "A resort like this must have security cameras, this is just the place chancers might break into, to steal cash or jewellery from the clients..."
"I'm on it" the hacker caught onto her wavelength and his fingers raced across the keyboard at lightning speed, as always, "Yep, we got security cameras, inside and out" he grinned, "Just give me a second to get in on the feed and... bam!" he announced, throwing a gun-style pointed finger at the vid-wall as it flipped to a whole selection of black and white shots from in and around the Twin Souls Retreat.
"Good work, Hardison" said Nate, slapping the younger guy on the shoulder, "Now at least we can see what's happening"
"But only when they're not in their own room" pointed out Sophie, "and we still can't hear... or help" she sighed, looking as worried as Nate felt but wouldn't say so.
Eliot and Parker were very much alone right now, and unlikely to be coping well with the situation.
Parker was pretty calm considering the circumstances. She wasn't so sure she could handle any more grifting after her stint on jury duty a few weeks ago. Still, at least she wasn't alone in this, even if the earbuds weren't working right now. In case of emergency she had Eliot here and she trusted that he knew what he was doing.
Right now, Eliot was being angry, and Parker was certain that was what he did best. Sat on the storage chest at the end of the bed, he hadn't said anything in a while, but Parker kept hearing him growl like a trapped animal. Once or twice he'd been pacing as if he really was a tiger in a cage, but he wasn't bothering Parker much.
A girl who was used to being in air-vents and up against safe doors didn't exactly feel claustrophobic in a room of this size, a whole double-sized bedroom that she'd never seen before. She was happy to explore, munching on a bag of fortune cookies she deliberately brought along. If they ran into any trouble, Parker was pretty sure she knew six different ways out of this place other than the door, maybe seven, but she was starting to lose concentration now that Eliot was muttering and growling and pacing again.
"Oh my God, will you stop doing that?" she exploded as she turned to face him, putting a hand on his shoulder and pushing him back down onto his seat.
Eliot went down more out of surprise than anything else, but got straight up again the very next moment.
"I can't stand this" he shook his head, "Okay, I'm not built for sitting around and waiting for stuff to happen"
Parker flinched just a little at his harsh tone and the fact he was kind of in her face. She recovered a moment later when her brain kicked in and reminded her this was Eliot, and he would never do her any harm. She swallowed the rest of the fortune cookie in her mouth before she spoke again.
"It won't be for long" she shrugged easily, as he sat down again and she followed suit, dropping down beside him, "Hardison will fix the earbuds and then Sophie and Nate will tell us what we need to do. You want?" she poked the bag of cookies under Eliot's nose, offering him to take one.
He looked at her in his usual way, as if she were crazy, which she took to mean he was declining said offer, and went back to eating them herself.
"I guess we should stay put until then" said the hitter thoughtfully, "but it better not take long" he warned as if to Hardison, though it was pointless since the hacker couldn't hear - therein lie the point of the whole problem.
"Do you think...?" began Parker as she resumed her exploring the room, but didn't get far as a knock on the door caught the attention of the fake couple.
Eliot was on his feet in a second, shushing Parker and preparing himself for whatever lie beyond the door. Opening it up carefully, he still got a surprise when a perky little red-headed woman greeted him with an over-sized grin that looked more like it belonged on The Joker than anyone else.
"Well, hello there" she greeted them in one of those sing-song voices that grated on every nerve in Eliot's system, "I'm Laurie Redfern" she introduced herself, "and how are our newest arrivals?" she asked them, looking past the hitter at the thief hovering behind him, apparently hiding a bag of something behind her back.
"We're just fine, thank you, ma'am" said Eliot, reaching behind him for Parker and catching her by the wrist, pulling her over to the door with him, "I'm Paul MacDonald, this is my wife Alice" he introduced, as they all shook hands.
"Alice White" said Parker with an over-the-top smile, "I didn't change my name, I'm a feminist"
Eliot closed his eyes, feeling a headache coming on as she rattled off her well practised lines... again!
"Oh, well, that's just fine" said Laurie Redfern with a chuckle, "Now, I did call here to introduce myself, but also to remind you that you're introductory class starts in five minutes in the main hall" she grinned all the more.
"We can't leave our room yet" said Parker, turning panicked eyes to Eliot, who reacted fast.
"Er, what she means is..." he said, pulling Parker closer, his arm around her shoulders, "She's not really feelin' up to a class right now. She has a headache, don'tcha darlin'?" he encouraged Parker to agree and she vigorously nodded, immediately putting her free hand to her head and wincing as if the movement had really hurt.
"Oh well now, we all use that excuse from time to time" tutted Laurie with a knowing look, "but I'm afraid here at Twin Souls, it just doesn't wash with us" she said, smiley as she had been throughout this whole conversation, "Now you two just follow me and we'll have no more excuses, okay?" she told them.
'Paul' and 'Alice' shared a worried look, but then duly painted on their own smiles as the owner of the retreat glanced back at them, and waved a hand that told them to follow.
This couldn't end well.
To Be Continued...