My Immortal Commentary
Tara's Piece of Shit Story - Regular font
My Commentary - bold
Enjoy!
Chapter 9.
AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! OH. MY. CUCUMBER. GREEN. CRAYOLA. CRAYONS. NO DUH. dis is frum da movie What movie are you watching? ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! Yes it is. besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! OKAY WHY ARE WE YELLING? and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! Oh wow. MCR ROX!
Dammit. I want the Z!
I was so mad and sad. So descriptive. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. YOU IDIOT. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. EWWWWWWWWWWW.
Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything What counts as "everything"? started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemortin the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. *facepalm* It was… Who is it? WHO? The suspense is killing me! Voldemort! You made that painfully obvious.
"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.
"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. Oh my god...I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.
"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" VOLDEMORT IS NOT SHAKESPEARIAN.
I thought about Vampire and his sexah I hate you. eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? OH MY FUCKING GOD.
"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.
Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. Idiot. Kill him and run away. Or is he too sexah to kill?
"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"
"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.
Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. I take it back. I love your stupidity. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.
I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came Ewwwww. into the woods.
"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"
"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. No, I don't get it. That doesn't make any sense at all. When I first read that, I had to draw a pentagram on a table and get my friends to tell me what it meant. We eventually figured out that it was "a cross between Joel Madden and Gerard Way" for idiotic Satanists. No offense to smart Satanists.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"No." he answered.
"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. If you've been expelled, which is what I hope you meant by saying that, then shouldn't you get out of here? End this shitfic now. Kthanxbai.
"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. That sounds difficult.