Skyar drops me off outside the school building, driving away in the navy blue BMW with the comfy leather seats. The morning hadn't been so bad. Rod had woken me up nicely with a loud thump to the door, a hot chocolate by my bed and the curtains already opening. I had a leisurely amount of time to get myself sorted, pack my bag and have breakfast before Rod reminded me that I wouldn't be taking the limo every day. Misa was going to university rather than work, so she had already left and I wouldn't be able to hitch a ride with her. Eating breakfast alone wasn't much fun, but Snydar's morning grumpiness made it up. He was such a happy bunny in the morning! Skyar offered to drive me to school on the way to some meeting, so I accepted. Even the radio was on my side, playing a bit of Tokio Hotel and some Linkin Park. Happy with the morning so far, I felt more excited for the day ahead. Once on campus, I head for the usual meeting place (the only tree in the playing field) and wave when I see BB and A.
"Morning Melly!" A waves back extravagantly, smiling. BB grins.
"Good morning A, how are you?" A explains that he's fine, he tells me he had an apple and a banana for breakfast followed by a nice glass of milk. BB is watching him, as though mentally daring him to say otherwise. I grin.
"Well it sounds better than my chocolate puffs n' hot chocolate" BB cackles and licks the corner of his lips.
"It doesn't beat my strawberry-jam on toast"
"Of course not B" He leans over to A and licks his cheek. A blushes madly and leans away with a small laugh. I chuckle to myself and sit back. The cold bite in the September air was certainly there, but it was, otherwise, a very sunny morning.
"You're not in trouble with Rod, are you Melly? For yesterday..."
"No – I bribed him with Chinese" I grin. "It's fine"
"Oh...that's good" A smiles again, and so does BB.
"How's your wrist?" I ask.
"Its fine thanks, Melly" A blushes. "Just a minor sprain with a few aches here and there; no biggie"
We chatter about various things for a whole fifteen minutes before the bell goes and we walk to class. The great thing about Tuesdays is that I have the morning's lessons with BB and A, which meant mischief. Sadly, first lesson on a Tuesday was Physical Education, which meant running around a track or playing basketball or something regarding sport. My forte sometimes, others, not so much. BB wasn't too keen on it, but would do it none the less. A was less keen to do PE than a fish would be to spend a week on land. For this reason, A was allowed to do other work in the lesson on the sidelines. According to the (fake) medical records that A has, he has a (fake) diagnosis of some weak bone disorder, so he can't participate in much physical activity. His lanky frame and pale complexion add to the act, but apart from me, BB and A, who know it's fake, it's completely fool proof. The lesson starts with a warm-up sprint around the track once; I win, BB closes in on second with Derrick catching up to third. Somewhere between this and beginning the game of basketball, things become personal. Myself and BB are on the same team; BB passes the ball to me but Derrick makes a foul and punches it away from me. The other players run after the ball, the teachers don't notice the foul or the fact that he's clutching at a nerve on my arm, sending spasms up and down it like electric shocks. BB has the ball as Derrick simply stares at me; he doesn't see BB launch the ball back over to me until it's too close. It whacks him in the head and falls to my feet, rolling away.
"My bad" BB laughs it off and nobody questions his apparently nonexistent basket-ball skills. Derrick snarls and launches the ball back at BB, but he catches it just as it hits his chest.
"Watch it freak" Derrick hisses, storming off and resuming the game. I notice, through the hour we keep playing, the harsh shoulder-hits he gives BB, the sneers he sends over to A and the fouls he tries over me, because maybe he thinks I'm too much of a 'hard-nut' to be verbally offended, and that I might just retaliate as I had done on the last day of term.
The three of us suffer through his abuse for the lesson until it ends, where we head back to the changing rooms to change. Derrick follows of course, but BB dresses quickly and A doesn't need to change (he hadn't changed in the first place), so I send BB away with A before Derrick can get to them. Oli comes over – a tall and lanky lad with a slight accent – patting my back with a smile.
"Well played Mello" He lowers his voice: "I saw that shit-head Derrick and the crap he was doing" and you didn't offer any help? "I told the teacher about it afterwards; Derrick didn't see. Hope it helps"
"Thanks Oli" He leaves with a smile, giving a passive look to Derrick as he passes him in the changing room. I shove on my jeans, pull my T shirt on and restyle my hair in a low ponytail before packing my kit away. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Derrick come closer. "Don't bother asshole" I mumble, loud enough for him to hear. "I'm leaving anyway" I pick up my back and attempt to leave, but he hauls me back.
"Don't think that this is over, fag" He hisses, slamming me backwards and into the wall. "It's just the beginning of a fucking great year ahead; we're gonna' get along like a match-" He holds up, contrastingly, a lighter. "-on fire" He flicks the lighter on and holds it incredibly close to my face before flicking it off and releasing me. "And here I was thinking you were all Ninja" He laughs. I retaliate before I think, my emotions overruling my actions. He's rolling on the floor in agony as I walk out before the teacher comes in. Despite the burning of and the ringing in my ears, I hear Oli take the fall for my actions, shouting "He deserved what was coming to him; he deserves everything he gets. That's why I did it". I smile to myself. Contrary to what Derrick thought, I did have a few friends, people I got along with. Sure, I only really hung out with BB and A, but I knew people I could talk to, people to hang out with if BB and A weren't there one day. I wasn't a social recluse, and I definitely wasn't the least popular – even if I wasn't the most. I had respect from the friends that I had, and that was better than just knowing as many people as possible, and calling yourself popular. I thank Oli, and make a mental note to personally thank him later. Though, I know he won't get into too much trouble because his Uncle is the Principal, and Oli's reputation is almost perfect. He wouldn't lash out unless there was a reason.
I find myself next to the tree, looking at BB and A's form as they cuddle together with smiles.
"Is Melly OK?" I nod, slump my bag down next to their and fold myself into a sitting ball. "You look fed up" A observes.
"Well it's the second day and I've been in what...two fights?" I sigh. "I can see myself getting kicked out by the end of the week"
"Oh don't say that Melly!" I smile at A's outburst.
"It's true; that or being murdered by Rod or some rebelliously rogue assassin" A huffs, falling back and shimmying himself into BB's arm. We decide to go to the library for a bit, do some reading and stuff before our next lesson. It's only for half an hour, but it kills some time and we laugh about silly, trivial things. The day seems relatively normal, the morning's incidents now forgotten.
Skyar came to pick me up and take me back. BB and A walked as normal back to BB's place. Dinner was uneventful, but I did explain the days happenings to Rod, including everything that Derrick had done and said, and what Oli did. He wasn't happy, but he was in a bad mood anyway. I skip the rest of my dinner as well as the chocolate cake pudding and head to my room, where I do all of my homework within the hour and spend the next two checking it. Because I don't know what else to do, and for some reason everything feels dead. I stop working and being all depressed and decide to try and sleep; and I do!
I just wake up again at half three feeling desperately hungry and wide awake. Thus begins the midnight escapade to the kitchen. I'm in there within the next five minutes, rummaging around for the chocolate cake that was supposed to be for pudding. All was going well, until-
"I'm not mad at you" I jump, ready to attack the intruder. But I see its Rod. "I'm not mad at you" He repeats it slower, shutting the kitchen door behind him and leaning on a counter opposite me. "Are you ok? I shrug. "You didn't eat much..." I shrug again. "Can't sleep?" He tries.
"Too tired of Derrick, of getting blamed for things that aren't my fault, of being assaulted, of-" I stop my seething and run my hands through my hair, tugging them at the scalp. "I'm sick of the year before its even begun, nobody is understanding anything..." I whisper. "Sleeping is the last thing I want to think about"
"Hey Mel?" I sigh and breathe, calming down a little. "Your mother...before...y'know..." I look up to show I'm paying attention. "She would always encourage your dad to go for a run when he got like this"
"Dad got like this too?" Rod smiles.
"Yeah, many times. Sometimes when she wasn't around, he'd wallow on his own in a corner with a whiskey and nobody could get through to him but that wasn't often... just until she came back" Rod sighs as he remembers. "He'd done many things he regretted, amongst all the things he did, he was still human. Emotions aren't bad, Mello. They're just...like..."
"A flaw?" I grunt. "A disease? How can you kill so many people and still feel? Won't you go numb?" I stare at him. "Aren't you numb?" He sighs and grabs some milk, taking the hot chocolate powder from the cupboard and making two hot chocolates.
"I used to think I was" He confesses. "Then, when your dad died, I think all of us – our Extended Family - as you put it, we all kind of... felt the loss of him...y'know. Like part of us had gone with him. It felt like all our emotions had been ...rebooted... even those working completely on impulse, no emotion whatsoever to their work, they still felt something"
"Wuss'"
"I was one of them"
"Oh" I refrain from grinning when I realise that he's being serious. "Oh..."
"From your father's death, we embraced something new. We understood that emotions are okay, they aren't to be ignored"
"I'm worried that we're having this conversation" I watch as he heats up the milk slowly.
"Mello, what I'm trying to get at... is that...even in the Mafia, we're not all numb. Numb is bad, numb means that you don't take other people into consideration, innocent people, Mello" He pauses. "Women. Kids. Old people. Innocent bystanders. Sure, being solid means you get the job done, but blowing up a building to get one person when hundreds more, innocent, could die...there's no logic. We changed our ways. It made us more specific, more focussed to do what we wanted to do and nothing more"
"No leftover mess" I realise.
"Yeah" Rod clears his throat. "But..." He pauses. "What what the point?" He mumbles. I chuckle.
"Lost in your own trip down memory lane?"
"No. My point was emotions can be good"
"When they're controlled" I roll my eyes. "You told me this ages ago"
"Mello" He says sternly, pouring the hot milk into the cups. "Being emotional is something that isn't going to go away. Your dad was like it, and so was your mother. They couldn't change who they were and I don't expect you to" My face relaxes as I take in his words. "The best thing you can do, rather than sitting there wallowing in your own self-whatever, is physically do something calming that will help. Not eating chocolate, not watching TV, and not thinking about it whilst being depressed" He gives me a knowing look. "None of those things are going to help. Your mum encouraged your dad to run around the block a few times, especially at night when he couldn't sleep, and it sure as hell worked. He bids his goodnight in a huff of rage and greets us in the morning happy as larry" I smile at the thought. "It might work for you too – seeing as your turning out to be his Mini-Me" I grin a bit more, eyeing the now complete cup of hot chocolate. "So either you go for a run, get some fresh air and think a little, or you drink the hot chocolate and spend the next three hours thinking about things that could be resolved"
"That's not fair!" I huff. "Cant I drink the hot-choc and then go for a run?"
"Sure! Sure! Just bear in mind you might throw up after, y'know" He chuckles. "Night Mello"
"Night Rod...and thanks" I smile at his retreating back, eyeing the lone cup of hot choc now on the surface.
I think that was the only time I've ever turned down a hot chocolate.