Severus so hated funerals. Now his hatred could only grow. He kept well out of sight although his cloaking charm had worked quite well. It was a muggle funeral, which meant all who were there were dressed quite appropriately.
As Remus finished his eulogy for James, he announced that he would also give one for Lily. Her parents must be far too distressed to even speak.
As Remus started, reminiscing upon their school days, Severus' mind wandered to a time between the school terms when he had knocked on her door.
"Hello? Oh, it's you." Her emerald eyes darkened at his appearance. "Lily, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, and I just want it all to be as it was!"
She glared, "Severus, nothing can be as it was. You know what you said, and you knew what you were saying when you said it."
His eyes began to pool in anguish. "But Lily, you don't understand. I love you."
"Clearly you didn't. Not enough anyways." A strange expression flitted across her features, and she shut the door. He knocked again, but the lock slid shut. He walked back to his now empty house, the tears had begun to pour down his cheeks.
He was furious. "James Potter, you have distorted her. Lily, you have forsaken me. I suppose I should turn to the unwavering." He fully devoted his summer to the study of potions, mixing, heating, testing, fixing. He knew nothing else until Lucius knocked at his door.
"Severus, hello." Snape nodded, "What do you want?"
"I am having a rally for the Dark Lord's supporters at my manor, can I count you among our numbers? He himself will be there. It will be quite the opportunity."
He hesitated, thinking of Lily and how she would react. Wait, she doesn't care. "You can. Name me the time."
"This Friday, 6:00, don't be late." Lucius swept away, not so much as a good-bye.
Severus' attention returned to Remus' eulogy, "She was an incredibly talented witch, and I count myself lucky to have known her. Now for her family."
Snape was shocked to see Petunia get up to the podium. "My sister was young, and full of life. It is a shock to me, as it is to all of you I'm sure, that she is gone. I never knew any of her school friends, she always went away on vacations, not wishing to bother me. I knew one of her friends though, and through from her ninth birthday to her sixteenth, he was her constant companion. Completely loyal to her. I'll admit I thought they would get married, and although they didn't, I have no doubt that Severus Snape loved my sister very much, nearly more than I did myself. I don't believe he's here today, but I know he would join us in our sorrow if he were. When we were small children…" Severus tuned out her speech, his body trembling. She thought we'd get married? How could she have thought that?
Knowing that he was close enough to Lily that her sister thought of their future proved to be too much, he broke down into sobs. He had just barely cast the muffliato charm before he really broke down.
He looked up to see Remus standing over him. Damnit. Not soon enough.
Remus bent down. "Severus, I know that's you. Why are you in disguise?" He looked genuinely concerned.
Severus managed to slightly fade the cloaking jinx so that he could motion for Remus to go outside with him. He and Remus had never really been enemies. Remus was guilty, however, by association.
"Okay Severus, now, why are you cloaked?" Severus swallowed the tears, and managed to talk, though his voice was thick with sorrow. "She hates me. Petunia, she's always hated me. I didn't think she'd let me in."
Remus shook his head. "Severus, I don't think you'd have to worry about that. I'd imagine that even if she tried, you'd push past her anyways." His feeble attempt at a joke did nothing for Snape's aching chest.
"Remus I loved her, I really did." He sobbed dryly into his hands. Remus put a hand on his back, in an attempt to comfort. He shrugged it off.
"I'm going to leave now. I think I've done enough damage." Severus turned on the spot and disappeared with a pop.