A/N: Thanks go out to ladygris and dwparsnip for their Beta assistance for this chapter. They are very much appreciated, especially as friends.

FYI - This story will conclude in six or seven chapters. If you have a request for a favorite OC or canon character to make an appearance, please PM me and I'll do my best to accommodate.

Thanks,

~Sandy

Not a Hero

Chapter 31

A Matter of Trust

Experience is a great teacher and Evan knew from past encounters that Marines were always looking for a good time, a challenge or both and was sorry he couldn't provide them with either tonight. All he really needed was a lift into town. The three of them, Cooper, Withers and Bagwell, a lean Caucasian man who looked like an accountant instead of the sniper he was, were more than a little disappointed when he sent them on their way after dropping him at a barn-like structure. The red paint was faded in some places and peeling in others, neon glaring from every window. It was called The Fancy Nickel.

Yeah, right.

Once inside, Evan winced at the loud country music coming from the jukebox in the far corner. The room was less than a third full, mostly regulars from the looks of them. Many in cowboy hats and boots with a few that were trying to recapture their youth and doing a poor job of it.

Pool tables sat unused in the back while a TV screen flickered and blinked from its position above the bar. The dance floor only had three couples dancing. Everyone else was drinking and smoking. Some talking, some not.

He went to the bar and waited to be noticed by the bartender, a woman in her forties wearing a short skirt and low-cut blouse, but without the body to pull it off. Before she made it to his end of the bar, he was approached by a very attractive woman. The detective in him made a quick assessment, noticing the wedding ring on her left hand. As much as he disliked his partner, he never thought he'd take up with a married woman. Something else must be going on.

Her brown eyes were enhanced by glasses with stylish rectangular lenses. A few freckles sprinkled along both cheekbones made her look younger than his estimate of early thirties. But the most amazing thing about her was her hair. It reached to the just below her hips and was a combination of auburn, brown and blonde with lighter streaks, probably from spending time in the sun. Waves drew the eye down to where the ends curled slightly. The heels she was wearing brought the top of her head even with Evan's so she didn't have to tilt her head to look him in the eye. He estimated her height at about five-five without shoes. She was wearing a knee-length black tiered skirt. The plain white cotton short-sleeved top would have looked ordinary on someone else. On her it looked classy especially when paired with the simple chain sporting a cross pendant, a tiny diamond in the center.

"Mr. Lorne? I'm Rae."

He nodded, extending his right hand, nearly engulfing her smaller one. Her fingers were long and slender. The hands of a musician. "Nice to meet you."

She looked him up and down, her mouth turning up in an ironic smile. "So you're the partner of the deceased. Hope you brought a body bag."

Not able to help a long-suffering sigh, he asked, "Where is he?"

She grinned, pointing to a spot in the back of the room near the jukebox. "He was already pretty far gone when I got the call." As they walked, she handed him a cell phone identical to his own except for the scratches on the edges where it had been recently dropped, and a set of keys.

He followed her to where John was sitting with the ankle of one leg resting on the knee of the other, his arms crossed and chin on his chest. "Why'd you call me?"

Rae hitched her purse up on her left shoulder. "I tried the first number in his speed dial, someone called Angel. It went to voice mail."

Evan gave her a half-smile. "She's outside the calling area at the moment."

"Oh. Well, your number was next up so you got the call."

"Lucky me." His tone indicated he thought he was anything but. She either didn't catch on, didn't care or chose to ignore it. He decided it was the latter.

"I'm going to leave him in your capable hands." She gestured at the exit. "I have to go. Hope gets up early." She turned and walked out of the bar without looking back or responding to any of the not-so-subtle come-ons from the men.

Evan stared down at John snoring softly then went to the bar. "Excuse me."

The bartender didn't smile when she finally acknowledged him. In fact, she sounded bored and very much put upon. "Yeah?"

Aiming a thumb over his shoulder, Evan asked, "He pay his tab?"

"Yeah. Didn't gimme no tip though. Cheap sonofa…" Her eyes brightened as she snatched the twenty he tossed on the bar and shoved it into her miniscule cleavage. "Thanks."

Back at John's side, he put a hand on his shoulder and shook him. "C'mon, Sheppard. Time to go. You've worn out your welcome here."

Atlantis

Mess Hall

A raging storm lashed the spires and towers of Atlantis. It had been going on for three days, fraying nerves and wearing out even the most unshakable of tempers. More than a few arguments had broken out and over minor differences of opinion on one thing or another. Only three people didn't seem to be affected: Caldwell, Chuck and Teyla.

Caldwell sat alone, drinking coffee and reading reports on the iPad in his left hand. His presence virtually assured that there'd be a tense sort of peace, at least for a while.

A crash came from the kitchen followed by angry voices as the cook and his assistant called each other names and traded insults, mostly having to do with the other's alleged parentage. After one unconcerned glance in that direction, Caldwell ignored what was going on and soon it was over. It always was with those two.

On the other side of the room, Teyla sat alone, poking at her food until it was cold and unpalatable. Pushing it away, she picked up her cup of herbal tea, sipping it and thinking. She was one of the few who hadn't engaged in a verbal sparring match with anyone. But she also hadn't talked to many in the last few days. She wasn't depressed or unhappy, exactly. Just in one of those moods that struck now and then leaving her feeling indifferent to the world around her and not all of it had to do with the fight or her break-up with Kanaan.

"Excuse me. Do you mind?"

The Athosian looked up to see the smiling face of Chuck watching her inquiringly. "Not at all. How are you tonight, Sergeant?"

"Doin' great. And call me Chuck." He sat down, shook out his napkin and draped it over his lap before picking up his fork and knife, using them to cut his meatloaf into bite-sized pieces. Setting the knife aside, he stabbed a corner of the meatloaf, dragged it through the mashed potatoes and gravy and ate it. As he chewed he watched Teyla stare at the tabletop and sip tea. "'Some Like it Hot' is playing in the Rec Room tonight. Would you like to go?"

"I'm sorry, Chuck, but I do not believe I'm ready to…"

"Oh! You think I'm asking you on a date." His eyes were filled with humor. "That's not what this is about. I was gonna go alone and thought if you were gonna go alone too then maybe we could go alone together. As friends."

Her eyebrows climbed up her forehead as she tried to puzzle out what the Canadian was saying. A smile turned up the corners of her mouth for the first time in several days. "Then as a friend, I accept."

"Great." He set his plate between them, plucking the fork from her discarded tray. After wiping it on his napkin, he passed it to her. "My eyes were bigger than my stomach. Wanna share?"

His sincere smile and the easy-going way he approached life dispelled the melancholy mood she'd been in. "It seems that I am hungry after all. Thank you."

They spent the rest of the meal talking and laughing and eating, heedless of the fact that the storm had finally stopped.

~~O~~

Chuck watched Teyla sitting alone playing with her food instead of eating. If anyone needed cheering up, it was her. And if there was one thing he was good at, besides computers and blowing stuff up, it was making people smile. He didn't see any reason why they couldn't spend some time together as friends while his girl was offworld. She wasn't prone to jealousy. She was confident in him and his feelings for her, their feelings for each other.

He walked over and stood in front of her waiting to be noticed.

The Fancy Nickel

Bar and Grill

His eyes bleary and unfocused, John looked up at his partner. "What th' hell youdoin' here? Thought you hated me."

Grabbing his right arm and wrapping it over his shoulder, Evan reached around John's waist to grab hold of his belt for leverage, practically dragging the taller man toward the door, not one of the other patrons offering to help. "I do and after this stunt, it's only gonna get worse."

"Oh." He willingly went where Evan led him, not that he had much choice. "Min' droppin' me at Ang'l's?

Evan snorted. "I do that, and we're both out of a job." They'd made it out the door to the gravel parking lot. He turned his head as much as possible and finally located the truck.

"Why?"

"Two reasons. One, she's…out of the country." At the SGC, they had a code for talking about work in public. "The island" meant Atlantis and "out of the country" meant offworld in general, Atlantis or TDY on one of the ships, and "the mountain" was the Cheyenne Mountain Complex in Colorado Springs.

John thought that over. "Oh. Yeah. Whass the other one?"

"You're drunk."

"True." They reached the truck, stumbling against the chrome front. "Know what else I am?" His words were slurred, the last two sounding like "Yi yam."

Evan couldn't resist. "A cross-dresser?"

Shaking a finger in Evan's general direction, he said, "Nope. But that's very, very close." Evan propped him against the rear passenger door while he dug the keys out of his pocket and he nearly fell over. "I…am a gamblin' addict. It's true. But I been goin' to GA like a good boy."

Shaking his head, Evan got the door open and reached inside to let seat all the way back. "You've never been a good boy."

Now John looked comically shocked. "Who tol' ya that?"

"You did. Now get in the truck."

Grabbing the sides of the door, John attempted to put his left foot inside. "And I was right." He grunted as Evan boosted him in. "Y'know, I really need t' get a girlfrien' or married or somethin'."

"Why would you want to do that to an innocent woman?"

"So's I don't have t' tell you all m' secrets."

"Trust me…" he put John's other leg in then straightened him in his seat, "…I don't want to know your secrets."

"Why not? I got some that'll curl your hair." John tried to wink but couldn't make his eyes work independent of each other.

"My hair's fine the way it is."

John leaned close. "Then why'd ya dye it that weird color?"

"It's not dyed, Sheppard." But John was now staring at his hands as if he'd never seen them before. "Oh, forget it."

His eyebrows drawn together in confusion, John asked, "Why?"

"Cause you're drunk and won't remember this in the morning anyway."

"Oh. Say, Lorne, do you have any idea how long it's been since I had sex? Not by m'self I mean. With a woman."

"No! And please do us both a favor and don'ttell me because it's already too much information."

John tried to buckle his seatbelt but wasn't doing a very good job of it. Evan snatched the buckle from him and clicked it home, adjusting the lap and shoulder straps. "It's been…uh…" John's face screwed up in thought as Evan went around to the driver's side and got in, "…a long time. An' ya know how many woman I've turned down since I caught that friggin' Wraith?"

Buckling his own seatbelt, Evan pulled the seat forward and inserted the key in the ignition. "I don't…"

Counting on the fingers of both hands, John said, "Two. An' I'm not tellin' ya their names cuz I never kiss 'n tell."

Thank God! As he pulled out of the parking lot, Evan wondered if he could use his government ID to get him out of a speeding ticket.

Atlantis

Rec Room

At first, Teyla didn't know what to make of the movie. Just the thought of two men disguising themselves as women for any reason was amusing, but Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis had taken it to a level seldom seen since.

Chuck had gotten there early to save them the coveted love seat that was in the perfect viewing spot, not too close and not too far from the screen. He'd also gotten them each a drink and a tub of popcorn to share.

Not five minutes into the movie, people behind him complained that they couldn't see over his head so he moved down to the floor, leaning his back against the front of the sofa. When she wanted popcorn, she would tap him on the shoulder and he'd hold the tub up so she could get a handful. Occasionally, she would lean down to ask question about some aspect of the plot. He'd whisper the answer as quietly as possible and go back to the movie.

When it was over, Teyla had not laughed so hard in a very long time. Her sides ached as she and Chuck returned to the barracks level with him doing his imitation of Tony Curtis in his guise as the rich playboy in love with Marilyn Monroe's Sugar. He left her at her door with the rest of the popcorn and a promise to sit together at the next movie if they were both on their own again.

Just as he reached his door, Dusty Mehra approached from the opposite direction. She'd been offworld since before the storm began missing the entire thing. Barefoot, dressed in shorts and a tank top, her hair still damp from the shower, she watched him with those dark eyes that seemed to see into his soul.

"Welcome back."

"Thanks." She blew a bubble and let it pop. "You gonna invite me in?"

"Of course." Once inside, he offered her a chair but she preferred to perch on the side of his bed. She was a woman of few words so she said nothing as he gathered his pajamas from under his pillow and went to take a shower.

He emerged a few minutes later and she was under the covers reading one of the comic books from his bedside table. She put it aside when he slipped under next to her, rolling onto her side to be gathered against his chest. A long sigh of contentment whispered over Chuck's face but it was her sleepily muttered "Chuck-o-my-heart" that made him sigh as well.

Area 52

Employee Overnight Quarters

Propping John up against the wall next to his door, Evan took a fortifying breath and hoped no one would come around the corner while he did what he might have to do next and prayed he wouldn't have to do it. "Sheppard."

"Yo."

"Where's your access card?"

"In m' wallet." John reached back and managed to pull the worn leather from his right rear pocket, handing it to Evan. "Iz in there somewhere."

"But I don't…Okay. Fine." He flipped it open, looking in the most obvious places for the card, and finding it tucked behind his company issued credit card. Sliding the keycard through the reader, the door unlocked. While replacing it, a small piece of paper fluttered to the floor. He picked it up and was about to put it back when he recognized part of the JAG office logo.

The paper was old and faded, the edges bent and worn as if he'd had it a long time. Curiosity got the better of him and he carefully unfolded the page, his eyes widening in disbelief as he read the names of the twelve who'd died in the chopper crash. The words "and baby" had been written next to Lee's name, added much later, within the last few weeks if Evan had to guess.

But that wasn't the worst of it. At the top of the page written in block letters and underlined were just three words: You Owe God.

John stirred and before he was seen snooping, he stuck the scrap of paper back in the wallet and tossed it on the dresser. "Come on, Sheppard. End of the line."

"Where ya takin' me?"

Grunting because John seemed to have gained about fifty pounds while leaning against the wall, Evan said, "Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory."

One side of John's mouth lifted. "Coo'."

"Here you go. Home sweet home." Evan dragged John to the bed, almost dropping him, and checked that Sparky was nowhere in sight before letting him down.

"Don' have a home. Got a brother though. Haven't seen 'im in a long time. Started to call 'im t'night but chickened out. Name's Dave. Big shot businessman. David Thurston Sheppard. Hehe! His middle name's worse 'n mine. Wanna know what it is?"

"No."

John puffed out his chest. "Thaddeus. John Thaddeus Sheppard. It was m' grampa's name on dad's side. Ya know, I didn' ev'n go t' m' dad's fun'ral 'cause I'd been disinvert…distahar…um, kicked outta the family." He managed to pull off his shoes almost falling off the bed in the process. "Whoops."

"You okay to do this part alone?" Hoping he'd say yes, Evan went to the door.

With wavering dignity, John told him, "I'm a big boy. I c'n undress m'self." And to prove it, he got to his feet and started undoing the front of his pants.

"Fine." Evan left before he saw something he'd rather not see. Just before the door closed, he heard a loud thump.

"Oops. Meant t' do dat."

Shaking his head, Evan went across the hall. While getting ready for bed, he thought about what he'd read. The words on the page shone brightly in his mind. You Owe God. John he owed God for the lives of the twelve who'd perished in the crash and it had obviously weighed heavily on his mind since that day.

Well, this is why you took the job, Lorne. To get close enough to Sheppard to find out what really happened. Looks like you're about to reach that goal. And you keep finding things to like about him. That was not in the plan. The plan was…what? What're you going to do when you do get the full story? Kill him? Cripple him for life? Shoot him a dirty look? Why are you here? And don't say it's for the really cool job 'cause that's just a perk.

The answers to his questions wouldn't show themselves. He'd found out John wasn't who he'd thought he was. Yes, he could be selfish, arrogant and narcissistic, but then most people were at one time or another. But he also had a streak of morality and ethics, principles and personal codes that he stood by. Yet Evan had seen that he could also set them aside if the situation warranted, such as with Magee and his lack of same.

Evan had been surprised and amazed at the way he treated the women he came into contact with each day considering his rep. He was respectful and courteous unless the woman had shown herself unworthy, as in the case of the female Goa'uld they'd crossed paths with at the hotel.

And his treatment of Jennifer was the biggest surprise of all. Evan could see that there was something between them that was much more than a patient and doctor falling for each other. It may not have had a promising start, but he could see Jennifer and John together for the long-term. She was good for him. Just in the weeks since they'd been partners, he could see a change. He just wondered if John could see it.

His reaction to Colonel Hartley's final words told him that so much more had gone on in Afghanistan than anyone could have guessed. He had a few ideas about that too, but with Hartley gone, he had no way to get the answers he sought except from John. And he wasn't talking.

Pushing his lingering questions away, he used meditation to help him get to sleep.

~~O~~

John awoke the next morning face down on the floor next to his bed, tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, and Sparky sleep-bombing him from her position curled up in the middle of his back. Reaching around, he gently nudged her awake. She jumped to the floor, walking around in front of him where she did her morning stretch that involved the use of every muscle in her small body, including her tail, and ending with a jaw-popping yawn. Then she sat down, her tail twitching in a way he didn't like, and could swear he saw disapproval.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm human and we make mistakes." Pushing to his feet, John realized his pants were undone in the front but still mostly on. Sparky sat looking up at him with that you're-a-putz-but-I-still-like-you expression she did so well. He rubbed her ears, fed her, gave her fresh water then stripped and got a shower.

Feeling marginally better but not enough for his usual trip to the gym, he dressed for the workout anyway, heading instead to the Infirmary. Ana and Derek were in the nurse's station acting more like a couple than doctor and nurse. He silently wished them well while ignoring the fact that he'd caught them kissing.

"Agent Sheppard."

Derek took one look at him and went to the locked drug closet, returning almost immediately with two ibuprofen. He dropped them into John's outstretched palm while Ana handed him a bottle of blue sports drink. With a nod of thanks, he used the drink to wash down the pain meds.

"Eggs, bananas and fruit juice."

~~O~~

The sounds of fighting echoed in the hall outside the gym again drawing a crowd. And as before, Jennifer pushed her way to the front watching John and Evan once again pound on each other. She wondered fleetingly what had caused this fight, but decided it didn't matter. From now on, she would just look the other way.

The crowd shifted and Tish came to stand beside her. "Aren't you going to stop them?"

"No. You know, I don't have any brothers or sisters but with them it seems like a strange sort of sibling rivalry going on most of the time."

Shrugging, Tish leaned against the doorway. "Can't say."

Jennifer gave her an understanding smile and returned to watching the fight, gasping when John punched Evan so hard he stumbled backward and fell at their feet. The women bent down to help him up, Tish telling him, "I said calmly and rationally."

Evan panted hard a couple of times, using the heels of his hands to wipe the sweat from his eyes. No blood had been drawn yet. "For him, this IS calm and rational." A moment later he launched himself at John, tackling him as if he were the quarterback of the opposing team and they both fell against the hanging punching bag.

Not wanting to watch any more, Jennifer just turned and walked away.

~~O~~

Teeth clenched, John twisted away and got Evan in a headlock, dragging him around the floor and out to the middle of the mat, holding tighter when he tried to get away. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Beating the crap out of me again?"

"No. For killing your wife and baby."

Moving quickly, Evan grabbed John around the waist with the arm trapped behind, slipped the other one under his left thigh, lifted and flipped him onto his back in an impressive takedown. Dropping to one knee beside him, he whispered harshly, "Lee wasn't my wife! She was my cousin."

John swung his right leg around knocking Evan to the mat beside him, hearing a loud grunt at the impact. "But I heard…"

"…wrong. I didn't even know about the baby until the funeral."

As suddenly as it started, the fight was over showing no clear winner, both men lying on the floor, panting, and the crowd moaning in disappointment again.

Rolling over onto his stomach, John pushed to his hands and knees then to his feet and stood.

Evan got as far as his knees, one foot flat on the floor, when John's hand came into view. He took the offered assist and was pulled up next to his partner. They walked painfully to the bench and sat down, still panting.

Grabbing the sport drink bottle, his second so far the day, John took a long swallow then used a towel to wipe his face. Turning his head to the side, he saw Evan sitting, elbows on his knees, a bottle of water held in one hand. He took a sip and went back to staring at the floor.

"She was your cousin?"

~~O~~

Evan resisted looking at John, choosing to just nod. "Yeah. We were really close though, more like brother and sister."

"What about…"

"She was seeing someone but didn't tell me his name, rank, outfit, nothing. My aunt said the pathologist told her the birth control Lee'd been taking failed. She was only a couple weeks along when…" he trailed off again and took another drink.

"I'm…"

"If you say you're sorry again, I'm taking you to the mat. Do you really wanna go there?"

His face unreadable, John shared a look with Evan. "No." When he stood, Evan did as well. "I'm taking a long hot shower then I'm gonna eat."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Lorne."

"Yeah."

"Did you call me a cross-dresser?"

TBC

A/N: The title of this chapter comes from one of the author's favorite songs, Billy Joel's "Matter of Trust", (1986.) You are encouraged to go to YouTube and listen.