I'm very glad that I finallu got your attention. I hope to keep it longer ;) Here is the chapter which you were waiting. I know that my English isn't good so I will ask once more. Is there someone who would like to be my beta?

volk83 I'm full of surprises XD I was thinking maybe I should write some fluff too XD And yes my both storiees are really CRUEL and MEAN but in different ways XD

kikyo4ever If to be true my first thought before I started to write this fic was 'I have to make them cry' and it seems that I did it :P Talking about miracles... The thing that no one remembers Natsuki is allredy a miracle, so maybe there will happen more of them ;)

rainee-chan Wow! I thought I will become death ) but thank you for your review ;)

kiangs Thanks, I will try my best not to dissapoint you in future ;)

Hope you will enjoy it ;) And that you will cry even more XD

Chapter 4

Emotions

"Who is there?"

'What?! Did she heard me just now?!' Something jumped inside of me making me feel uncomfortable and very hot at the same time 'Maybe I have a chance? Maybe I will be able to talk with her once again?' with that thought I screamed her name.

"Shizuru!"

But she didn't hear me… 'But she heard me last time, didn't she?' her next movements and words proved my theory. Still looking back she stood up and went to the door. My eyes followed her, not leaving even for the second. She opened the door and looked around. But she didn't see anyone around, how could she? It was me who called her name after all.

"I'm sure that someone just called me. Maybe it was my imagination?" saying these words she closed the door.

'So she really heard me!' Hope flamed in my soul, making me to want shout louder.

"SHIZURU!" this time I bet that everybody could hear me in heaven and hell, but not on Earth… not she…

'Why? Why she doesn't hear me?!' I screamed again and again, but nothing happened. She just passed by me and sat back into the chair.

"I think it is,because of today's events, I should go to bed"

"No! You are not imagining things! I'm here, Shizuru!"

Again no reaction. My body began to shake, eyes widening in disbelieve and hands clenching in fists. Emptiness began to fill me and stream of cold ran through my soul.

"I won't give up!"

With those words I tried to hug her, to touch her… But my hands went through her. I didn't feel her and nor did she…'How? How is it possible? Doesn't she have to feel cold?' I cried her name again, trying to get her attention. But all she did was putting comb back on the table and standing up. Horror, terror, sadness and sorrow went through me, making me become mad. Seeing how Shizuru went to change into pyjama I screamed again throwing to the night stand. My hands began to run down on the stand, trying to knock off everything what was on it. But they didn't move even for inch. 'Move! Why aren't they moving?! I already moved objects brfore; even today I was controlling Mais keys!' But how hard I didn't try they didn't move. Then my gaze fell on her bed. In second I was near it and with sharp movement I pulled the blankets, but they stayed at its previous place. That was it… My knees became like jelly and bent down beneath me. Without any sound I fell on the floor and hands lay in front of me. My dark blue hair fell covering my sad face. I shook; sobbing began to come out of my mouth. 'Please God, allow me to cry! Just one more time!' I asked Him, but he didn't answer on my request neither I heard his voice. I wonder why? Is He so busy that He can't even answer me? I clenched my hands in fists and furiously, with all strength that I had hit the floor. While I was sitting there, Shizuru already lay down on the bed and pulled blankets over her body.

"Cold… Why is it so cold? Didn't Souta have to repair conditioner today? Strange, but I somehow feel so sad right now… It seems that someone is in a big pain…"

My head rose and eyes widened in shock at her comment.

"Sh-Shizuru…"

'She still feels my presence… My pain hurts her… Why? Why do I always hurt her? Even when I'm dead…' I rose at my feet and looked down at beauty that lay in front of me. Her whole body rolled into tangle to save the warmth. Lying like this she remind me a kitten. A lonely smile crossed my face 'Forgive me, Shizuru. Please forgive me… I forgot that you feel my presence, but why? Why you didn't feel me back then? I think I know someone who could answer me at this question… Once more forgive me for my madness and your suffering. I promise, I will never allow something like this happen ever again… Now sleep… I wish you to sink in pleasant of your dreams…' Gladly, her form relaxed and I could see a smile, beautiful smile which only I was allowed to see when I was still alive. Smile which showed her soul, her pure like gold soul. I smiled back and sat at the foot of the bed appreciating her beauty. Soon she was sent to the dream world. Looking at her charming form I stood up and called.

"Jack! Hey Jack! Please come here!"

Bright light appeared in the middle of the room and out from the light came white figure with wings and blond, short hair. It was my angel, the same angel who took me to another world. Angel who became my best friend.

The light faded and now I could see him clearly. His face was wearing worrying expression.

"What has happened Natsuki?" he asked looking around. His gaze fell at Shizuru "She seems to be okay. Why did you call her name so loud?"

"I need to talk with you" I answered looking at my feet.

"I'm listening"

"I need to talk with you in private" I looked straight into his blue like sea eyes.

"But we are alone, aren't we? She can't hear us"

As a reply at his question I looked up.

"Oh" he understood me "Then lets go while I have time"

"But… I can't leave her" I answered and looked at sleeping beauty next to me.

"She is sleeping now, so I think you can leave her for a while"

Again bright light appeared in the room. It is good that Shizuru couldn't see it. Throwing last look at her I stepped into the light after my friend. The light was something like teleport, because in the next second we found ourselves in Heaven. Well it wasn't exactly heaven, it was angel house. House where angels could rest for a while, but not for too long.

Angel house was very big, because milliards of angels lived here in Heaven. Some of the rooms were meant as relaxing ones, but some of them were meant to do some kind of work. All rooms were very big and beautiful. A lot of different paintings and pictures were seen there. We passed by some rooms and entered one with big doors and golden ornaments on it. This room was different from others. Here you couldn't find any kind of furniture only white fog and blue skies above us. It was room of secrets, the only place where God couldn't hear and see us. But we couldn't use it often, only when it was really necessary. When we needed some privacy.

Turning around and facing me, Jack asked.

"So, what happened?"

"She heard me… but then she didn't…"

"What do you mean by 'she heard me'?"

"I called her name and she heard it. She was looking around to find the owner of the voice… But of course she couldn't find anyone…" weak smile crossed my face "I tried to call her again, but this time there was no reaction. She didn't hear me… and I became mad. I wanted her to hear me, to talk with me… But she didn't hear me; she didn't even feel me when I tried to touch her. Then I tried to move objects and fell again. Pain was so big, that I couldn't do anything as just scream her name loud and hoping that miracle will happen again… that she will hear me… But nothing happened. When my temper fell, I understood that I hurt her again… She was cold and felt all sorrow and pain which I had…" remembering this smile fade from my face. I looked straight into his eyes "Tell me… why I couldn't move objects back then and why she couldn't hear me later?"

From look in his eyes I understood that he was shocked by hearing this. Not moving his gaze away from me he blinked for some times and spoke.

"She heard you?" I nodded "But how? What happened? Was she in danger?"

"No she wasn't… Besides she was very happy, because someone proposed her… While combing her hair she tuned melody…. Melody of the song which we liked to sing together. I was feeling very empty, knowing that soon she will marry someone, but this song made me feel better. And when she finished singing I whispered her name… Why did you think that she was in danger?"

"You see… we angels can communicate with people only when it is really necessary. But the thing you told me doesn't make any scenes… Maybe back then you felt some kind of emotions towards her?"

"I don't know… Everything that I felt was pain of loose. But then before whispering her name I felt warm… But I always feel warm feelings towards her…"

"I don't know what to say… Did God say anything to you?"

"No, I'm not sure if He heard me…"

"How? I bet that everybody could hear you in Heaven and Hell."

"I don't know… Maybe he was busy? If to be true I'm glad that he didn't hear me… I don't think He would like to see me in a state like this."

"I see…"

"You didn't answer at my second question… Why I couldn't move objects back then?"

"People can't see our presence, so everything that we do must look naturally. That is why you couldn't move objects in front of her… Didn't you read rules which God gave to you?"

"I never liked to follow the rules, so I didn't read them…"

"Then I have to warn you… The first of all rules is that you can't get too close to people. You can't communicate with them or your wings will be cut…"

My eyes widened "Why? What is so bad in communicating with them?"

"Angel is the same as bodyguard… If they get to close then they both can be in big danger…"

"I see" I answered lowering my gaze.

After brief silence he said looking up "I have to go…"

"Who is it this time?" I asked not facing him.

"A little girl who has burnt in fire…"

"Then go and show her the way" I smiled and looked at him.

He smiled in reply and bright light appeared again. In the next moment I found myself in front of Shizurus bed.

"Be careful Natsuki…" I heard his fading voice.

"I will…" I answered him and sat at the bed's edge "I will…"

'If being close with you, means to hurt you… Then I won't try to communicate with you again…' with that thought I lay down and closed my eyes.

Next morning I woke up by sound of the falling water. I lazily opened my eyes.

"Shizuru…"

Sitting up I looked around and understood that Shizuru was having a shower right now. 'Damn you Natsuki! How could you fell asleep when you have to protect her? Besides, starting from what day does angels and ghosts sleep?' Not thinking anymore I stood up and mowed towards the shower. Entering it I saw a very beautiful view of naked Shizuru who was having a shower. Blush found its place on my face.

"Ara, it is hot again. When that stupid conditioner will start to work normally?"

'Damn, why am I blushing? I didn't blush yesterday!' I turned around and crossed hands on my chest. I didn't have to wait too long before Shizuru finished washing. For my surprise after shower she began to dress, but not lying on the bed and reading a book as she used to. Putting on some make-up she left the house and sat into her red sport car. I set next to her and soon she drove away. 'I wonder where she is going?' We rode for about twenty minutes before she stopped near another big house. She pressed the button on the gates and spoke.

"Hello can I see Kanzaki Reito?"

'Of course! How could I forget that they are going to get married! It is obvious that she would like to see him in her free time'

"May I ask who is asking him?"

"My name is Fujino Shizuru"

"Oh Fujino Shizuru! Please come in!" was heard hurried voice before gates in front of the car opened.

"Ookini" Shizuru thanked and drove in parking her car not far from entrance door.

Before she could exit the car, Reito appeared in the doors wearing big smile on his face. Smiling too, Shizuru went towards him and hugging each other they kissed, making me to turn around. 'I'm not used to see them together, but I will' Turning my head back I saw their happy faces.

"I wondered when you will come" said Reito breaking the silence.

"Ara, so you were waiting for me?"

"Yes… but if you wouldn't come till twelve then I would drove to you"

"How sweet of you" answered Shizuru and placed another kiss on his lips, but this time kiss was interrupted my ring of the phone. Sighing they let each other and putting hand into his pocket Reito answered the phone.

"Yes?... Oh! Hello Mai-san!..." Shizuru raised her eyebrow. Cowering phone with his hand he whispered "We are only friends, don't worry" removing his hand he continued conversation "Did you want something?... Really? I wonder why?" he answered and looked at Shizuru "Should I give her a phone?... Ok, then what would you like to know?... With great pleasure! I think she will like idea too. So when and where will we meet?... Ok, see you till Friday, bye." He hung up.

'I wonder what were they talking about?'

"So what did Mai-san want?" asked curious Shizuru.

"She was trying to call you, but you didn't answer the phone"

"Phone? Oh, I forgot it at home" she sighed.

Reito just giggled "Don't worry, she told me everything that she wanted to ask you"

"Really? And what was that?"

"Tell me Shizuru… Do you like camping?"

I'm cruel

I'm mean

You will kill me

You will hate me

But I'm happy after all! XD