Author's Note: To me, I think this will be the most hilarious story in the fic so far. It's short, but hopefully the humor will make it better!

Story Five: Family Portrait

Poke. Poke. Poke. "Sasuke-chan! Sasuke-chan!"

The Uchiha tried his best to ignore Sakura's constant poking on his arm and the calling of his name with that annoying suffix. 'At least -kun wasn't as bad. She sounds like Naruto,' he sleepily thought.

"SASUKE-CHAN!!"

Sasuke jumped awake at that point, rubbing the aching ear she yelled into. "I get it. What is it Sakura?" he asked annoyed, glaring at her with Sharigan eyes that refused to scare her.

"Sasuke-chan, guess what? Orochimaru-sama said it's picture day! So dress in something really awesome! He said we'll be in the training grounds for the picture at noon today!" Sakura exclaimed in glee, bouncing slightly on her toes. He stared at her, his mind questioning the very idea of Orochimaru and the so-called picture day.

'Why do I get the feeling this will be worse than him biting my neck?' With that thought, he visibly shuddered, then groaned as the ever-so-concerned Sakura immediately covered him with his blanket. "I hope you're not getting a cold!" she exclaimed.

"Orochimaru-sama, can you please explain as to why I'm digging through years' worth of random items for a camera?"

Orochimaru smiled, "It's time for a family portrait!" Kabuto shivered, but whether it was from the idea or the snake's smile he was unsure.

"Are you catching a cold?" Orochimaru asked curiously.

Sakura looked herself over in the mirror. She smiled at the job she did with her make-up, "Now my eyes look like Orochimaru-sama's...well, a little bit; I don't have snake eye contacts. I bet he'll think I did a good job though!" She tightened the ribbon in her hair before running out of the room towards the training grounds where the others were waiting.

"Orochimaru-sama! Orochimaru-sama! Did I do a good job?" she exclaimed once she was in the sight of the others, along with a man that she assumed was the cameraman for the event. Orochimaru smiled with pride as Kabuto and Sasuke stared in disbelief and fear.

"You did a very good job, Sakura. Almost like mine. Now, come on, it's time for the picture!" he said, leading her over to stand between Kabuto and Sasuke.

"Now Suigetsu, you know how to work that, don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah. Kabuto showed me three times."

Sakura smiled, clasping her hands in front of her chest, "Yay! Can we take the picture now? Please?" Orochimaru rubbed his pale fingers through her hair a few times to get out any tangles before wrapping his arms around Kabuto and Sasuke's shoulders.

The two stiffened and shivered. "You're both getting sick!? After this I'm going to take care of you two and make you guys feel better!" Sakura exclaimed, looking quickly at both of them before smiling again at the camera.

"Okay, smile!" Suigetsu said, showing his shark-like teeth in the process. The flash went off and the picture came out from the old camera.

"We look like a cute family, don't we?" Orochimaru asked. Sakura nodded gleefully, "Yep yep! But look, Sasuke-chan and Kabuto-chan look sick! We need to take this again another time, cause our first family portrait needs to look really nice!"

Little did they both know that those looks were not of illness but of extreme fear...and the constant hope that this whole event was a dream.

So much fun! I'll probably draw the chibi form of the portrait later, but feel free to draw it yourself and have fun with it (just let me know if you do; I want to see it!). And yes, I had to put Suigetsu in there for the fun of it. Yes, I do plan on having him and Karin have more role in the story later, mainly to have additional torment. Gotta give the guys a break sometime!