Hi guys! Big sorry for such long update! I was a little bit busy... one of the things is that I was doing ShizNat clip :) If you want to see it, go to my front page ;)
Anyway here is new chapter nad I have to say thanks to ToumaSan for being my beta and to Olivia U.L. who also wanted to be my beta, so now she/he will check it once more ;)
Also I will send you replies, but some will receive them now ;)
firecaster-hikaru Well Shizuru isn't artist, is she? She can't draw Natsuki even if she wanted XD But I will think about Deja vu thing ;) And thanks for suggesting, but as you see I already found beta :) But still thanks ;)
Baka-moy Then I do good job XD Anyway here is new chapter ;) Hope you will help me after everybody reads it XD
kae Glad to hear it And here is new chapter ;)
Sorry if someone didn't receive my reply, but I still thank you all for reading and commenting. It is really important for me ;)
Anyway hope you will like it ;) Oh! And I have to warn you!
WARNING: Please prepare a lot of handkerchiefs as always XD
DISCLAIMER: Don't own this show T.T Maybe it is good thing?
Chapter 11
Why?
PVC Shizuru
She didn't lie… It wasn't just simple dream and all her words were true. She didn't answer me anymore. My dream was the last place where I have communicated with my angel. I never knew that separating with her would be so painful. Well not exactly separating… But when you know that someone is by your side, when you try to talk with him/her and don't get any answer…it makes you really mad.
Some days have past after that night and no words were spoken between us. I tried to talk to her, ask her something, but no response. I even left our two cards on table hoping that she will move them, but no. I tried to tease her in suspense that she will get angry and will try to shut up me in someway, but still nothing. 'Why?' I kept asking myself 'What happened? Why did she stop communicating so suddenly? She told me that she isn't allowed to communicate with me, but then… She broke the rule… Did they found out about it? What will happen if she will still talk to me? I don't want to put her in danger, but I really want to talk to her…But why? Why is it so important for me to see and feel her responses? What is so special about her? Isn't she just an angel? Besides she is a girl…not guy…although I do find girls attractive but still. What is going on? Even Reito didn't make my heart to beat as fast as she did…
It was another day, sad day… My angel still didn't show any signs of her existence, but I didn't give up. Although she asked me not to do it, but I just couldn't live like this!
"Natsuki I'm going take a shower, hope my heater will work today" I tried to tease her, but no reaction.
It seems she still didn't blush, but I won't give up! I already have planned some strategy and it was time to use it. On the way to the bathroom I quickly took my pajamas off and started to circle around nude, hoping that my angel will see my naked form. And it worked! It did get warmer in the room! 'It seems my theory was right… Natsuki does control herself more now, but it seems unexpected attacks like this still work on her! I have to keep it in mind!'
"Ara! So you are here! I already started to worry that you left me!" I proclaimed while getting my pajamas from floor "I have to make things like this more often or maybe I can just walk nude all the time?" It seems I really caught her unguarded by my action, because now my teases started to work and as proof it was getting even warmer "So Na-tsu-ki? What is your answer?" no reply "If you won't answer me I will always walk nude in my room" even though temperature rose even more, my angel still didn't reply me.
'Damn! I was so close! Oh well, I will have to try even more then' I throw my pajamason the bed and swing my hips a little, went to the bathroom. While washing and enjoying the warmth of the water, various thoughts ran through my head making me wonder and even more confused 'Why…' this question just didn't want to leave me 'Why is it so important? Why in the world I would walk naked around just to see her response? What is going on?' I finished my shower and went to my bedroom to dress. I was going to the university today, so I didn't have time to enjoy reading. I dried my body with a towel and my hair with the hair drier. But still by the time I finished preparing for my day, the warmth of my angel disappeared.
"Ara, it is cold again. Mou, does my angel want me to freeze?" but my teasing didn't work this time what made me sigh "It seems it didn't work this time, but I won't give up and you will talk to me once again, well not talk… but you know what I mean" I smiled before exiting my room.
I said goodbyes to my maids and went to my sport car. I engaged it and drove away towards my university.
I parked my car in the parking lot and went towards the entrance where my future husband was waiting for me. Smiling he waved and went towards. I smiled and placed a light kiss on his soft lips, before going together, to the classroom.
Everybody was very happy to see me again and my fan girls just didn't leave any space for me, by jumping around and asking hundreds of questions. Thankfully Reito as always came to my rescue and soon we were able to go to our classroom without big problems. Lessons were boring, but I didn't expect them to be interesting. It was University after all. Although Reito did manage to make me feel a bit more comfortable and happy. For some time I was able to forget about boring lessons and my angel, but not for too long. During lunch time my thoughts once more returned to where they started and I couldn't do anything about it until…
"What's wrong?"
"Huh?" I looked at Reito confused, who was sitting next to me.
"You are worried about something, what's wrong Shizuru?"
"Ara, I think you are imagining things" I commented while sipping my tea.
"Shizuru don't lie to me. I know you too well, especially after we became so close" he said gently and it broke my mask. Sighing I replied:
"Ara, you really know me to well. I'm happy for that" I smiled at him.
"It's not time for smiling, Shizuru. Please tell me what concerns you. During last days you looked somehow lost, although you tried all your best to wear your perfect mask"
"That's nothing, really. You don't have to worry"
"Is it because of me?"
His last words made me put my cup down "What are you saying? Of course not! How could you even think about something like this?"
"Well as I remember you started to look sad after our engagement party, so I was thinking… Maybe you have changed your mind about our marriage?"
"Ara, Reito! You are hurting my feelings right now" I said while placing hand on my heart.
"Gomen Shizuru! I didn't mean anything like this! I was just concerned…"
"You don't have to worry about thing like this, I will never change my mind" I answered and kissed him gently on the lips making everybody around us say 'Awww' "So please don't say anything like this ever again…"
"Ok… but still… what's wrong? What's bothering you?"
"Don't worry, everything is fine…" 'I can't tell him the truth or he will think I'm going crazy…' "I'm just worried about future exams, that's all" I smiled gently.
"Starting from when, are you worried about something like this?"
"Hmm… starting from when we chose the day for our marriage. I want to be good wife after all"
Reito's eyes winded in surprise "Is it all that is bothering you?" I nodded, what made him laugh "Silly girl! I will love you even if you become a full loser. So please don't worry about something like this" he answered and placed a kiss upon my forehead while hugging me tightly.
"I will…" 'I need to be more careful around him. I don't want him to worry…'
"Good… now let's finish our lunch" he let me go "Shall we?" and smiled gently.
"Yes…" I nodded and smiled back…
PVC Shizuru ends
'It hurts…' was the only thing I could think about during these few days. It tore me apart to know that you can't be near the one you love so much and the one which is so near… I just needed to reach my arm and I would touch her beautiful skin which smelled and felt so good…But no, I can't… and that all is for her sake, for her so called freedom… But she… she made things even more difficult… Although I asked her not to talk to me, she didn't listen 'And what did I expect from her?' lonely smile crossed my face every time I thought about Shizuru's personality, habits… even though I still wondered why? Why does she want to talk to me so eagerly? After all the only thing she knows about me is that I'm her angel. She doesn't remember real me, our past, the time when we were together and cared about each other more than about our own life's… And here I am as the proof of our love. I wouldn't be able to bear with her sad face and washed away eyes by tears… Eyes which would become empty…
Now I'm the one who is suffering, who still loves her deeply, and remembers every moment we spent together, every feeling we shared and every touch we felt… 'Did you feel the same way when I rejected you?' I'm here feeling that all and seeing you with someone else, enjoying your life. I'm happy for you, Shizuru… although from time to time I wish that you would remember me and then forget once more… To know that our love still lays somewhere in your pure heart… But I know it's impossible… you won't forget if you remember and I will lose my only closeness with you…
I told you clearly not to talk with me, but you are just impossible! How could you throw your clothes away? Do you know how hard it was to control myself so my body wouldn't boil? I already got used to you during shower, but when you undress so unexpectedly and even start to circle! Good thing you didn't run around like this or I think my head would explode from all this heat! I wonder where it comes from. Anyway I really hope that your promise about walking naked around your room was just a joke or I will have ghost nosebleed! 'I wonder how it will look. NO! Bad thoughts! I can't allow it to happen!'
Thankfully now we are at your university and I have time to recover and prepare myself for even more unexpected things which you could do. The picture of you walking around without any clothes made me feel hot, but thankfully everybody thought it was just a heating center.
Now you are eating your lunch and enjoying Reito's company. That is good, at least now you can stop thinking about me and make some devil plans. Don't want even to imagine about what will wait for me when we will be alone. But soon I heard Reito's concerned voice, asking Shizuru what is wrong, why does she look sad. But she will never say the truth, will she? And yes I was right once more. Although I have to admit that it was one of the worst excuses from her 'And I thought I had bad excuses', but what was stranger is that he believed her and soon they found each other in a tight hug. After some moments they let each other go and finished their lunch before going on other lessons.
I always thought that school is boring, but being at university with Shizuru for so many times I made a conclusion… Universities are even worse! Although I wish to be alive once again and enjoy all this stuff that I haven't noticed before, but I'm afraid that university will be an exception.
Lessons finally ended and it was time for Shizuru to go back home, but there was a lot of possibilities that maybe she will spend the rest of it with Reito. I didn't mind, after all I would have some rest from Shizuru's demanding of any kind of answers from me, which I still didn't plan to give her. But for my surprise she decided to go home.
"Why so?" he asked surprised.
"Gomen ne Reito, but I'm not in the mood today to go somewhere" she smiled apologetic.
"So…"
"Don't even think about saying it" she said and placed finger on his lips "it's not what you think"
"If you want, I can come with you"
"That would be nice"
Reito's face immediately lightened "Then I will go to my car, meet you near your house"
"I'll be waiting" and sharing so called 'goodbye kiss' they went in different directions.
I stood there watching as happy Reito was quickly going away to his car 'How I understand you' I smiled and turned around to see Shizuru who didn't seem to be so eager to go back to her car 'Don't tell me she is thinking about me once again! Why?' But before I could ask any more questions I saw something that made my eyes go wide. The big truck was moving down the road and straight on Shizuru who seemed not to notice it. The driver was already signaling and all people turned around to see what is wrong. Finally the sounds caught Shizuru's attention and she turned around to see her death. She was too shocked that she didn't even think about moving away…
"SHIZURU!!!" I cried out and threw myself towards her just in time to push her away.
My breath stopped as horrible feeling ran through my body as truck drove through me before stopping. My whole body tensed but soon it was able to relax. Taking some air I turned around and saw Shizuru lying on road with horrific expression on her face.
"Shizuru! Are you alright?! Damn! She can't hear me!" I shouted in anger while grabbing my hair and shaking.
"Natsuki?"
"Huh?" I released my grip.
"Is it you?"
Now I was scared even more "D-do you…h-hear me?" she nodded weakly what made my legs bent and fall on the ground "How? Why?"
But before she could say anything hard footsteps were heard and accomplished by Reito's loud and scared to death voice.
"Shizuru!" he jumped on her and hugged as tight as possible…as if he wouldn't let her go anymore "A-are you fine? What happened?"
"I-I was just lost i-in thoughts" she answered weakly…
"Shizuru what is bothering you? Please answer me!" he demanded while looking into her red orbs which just wanted to cry right now.
"Hey lady! Are you okay?!" shouted the driver jumping out of the car.
"Yeah…"
"Damn! You scared me to death! What the hell were you doing there?!"
"I-I'm sorry…"
"Damn!"
"R-Reito… could you please take me home? And sir… I'm very sorry, I promise it won't repeat anymore…"
"You better do!"
"She won't" answered Reito while he helped Shizuru to get up "From now on I will be by her side all the time" and not saying a word, he led Shizuru towards his car.
I sat there, on the road still not understanding what is going on here 'Why does it always have to happen? Why Shizuru always gets in trouble? What just happened right now? Why did she hear me?! Was it because I saved her this time? Like back then during camping? Maybe now everything will be fine? Damn! It won't be fine! She almost got killed because of me right now! Shizuru why? Why do you want me to talk to you? You don't remember me…you don't love me anymore…but you still care…What kind of game are you playing with us God?!' But no answer came 'Why are you quiet?! Why don't you answer me?! Didn't you say that she will forget everything? Then why does she still care?!' but He still was quiet. I clenched my fits and slowly rose from the ground 'Don't want to answer? FINE!!!' and went after Shizuru despite the fact that I was still trembling, but this time from anger which boiled inside of me and ran through all my nerves, straight into my invisible heart. But before I could get near car, it started to move 'Damn!' I cursed before running after it and before it would gain more speed I jumped into it. I sighed heavily, before lying on the back seat.
The ride was silent. Shizuru was very quiet because of the shock which she had experienced some time ago. The only one who was talking was Reito who had called to his men and asked them to take Shizuru's car back to her house. After some time we finally drove into the yard where he parked his car. Reito turned off the engine, but didn't leave the car.
"Shizuru… what is bothering you? Please tell me! I'm your future husband after all and I want to help you"
"Tell me Reito…have you ever had a feeling that you know someone for ages although met him/her only few times?"
"Yes, it's you… When I first talked to you…I already had feeling that I know you for a very long time…"
"And if it was the first and the last time when you talked to me…would you miss me? Or you wouldn't pay attention?" she faced him.
"Don't know….but I think yes…" he smiled at her gently.
"Then I think everything is fine now…" she smiled him back.
"But why are you asking that? Have you met someone?"
"I don't know how to explain it… to be true I never spoke to this person, she didn't say anything…just showed…but she is gone now and I have such weird feeling that I have known her for a long time and that she is somehow important for me. But now when she is gone, I just can't figure out why I have such feeling and it is confusing me… Do you understand me?"
"I think yes…. But you don't have to worry about it, I think something like this has happened to a lot of people" he answered while caressing her cheek.
"Are you sure?"
"Positively" he answered and kissed her gently on lips.
"Ookini, Reito" she answered in a hush voice "I won't be concerned about it anymore"
"Promise?"
"Yes"
"Good, now let's go…"
Nodding, Shizuru and Reito exited the car. Holding hands they moved toward doors where were greeted by maids. I thought day couldn't get any worse, but when they got to Shizuru's room…
"Ookini Reito for taking me home"
"Hey, it was my pleasure, besides it also is my duty as your husband" he smiled while hugging her.
"Still Ookini…"
She looked up into his purple eyes and like under spell, slowly moved forward until their lips met. At first it was slow and tender kiss, but soon their lips started to move faster and kiss has deepened. It looked like they were going to eat each other, trying to taste every inch of each others lips… Shizuru's hands raised and encircled around his neck, pushing his head forward to take more of him, on what Reito responded by hugging her tighter. Pushing her, they slowly made their way towards her bed and soon Shizuru's back found its surface.
My eyes wide opened looked at them as they slowly started to undress each other, while Reito placed hundreds of kisses upon Shizuru's body on which she responded with deep moans. I clenched my fists, body started to shake as eyes started to tear 'Do ghosts cry? Who cares!' I tried to wipe them, but nothing… they still ran down my face and slowly dripped on floor where they immediately disappeared 'Why am I crying? Don't I have to be happy for her right now? But the thing which could happen to her because of me wore me out…I can't concentrate anymore…It's not fair…I want to be there with her, I want to make all this sounds to come out of her mouth! Why God?! Why did I have to die? That's unfair!' no response… I clenched my teeth before shouting…
"SHIZURU!!!" while tears spread in all directions.
Shizuru's eyes widened and she quickly pushed Reito away who looked at her confused…
"Shi…zuru?"
"I-I c-can't… not now…" she said while buttoning her blouse. Now my eyes became even wider…
"Gomen…I"
"No Reito, it's not you…" answered she quickly before hugging him tightly "It's just… I don't even know how to explain it… Did you hear something right now?"
"No…"
"I see…"
'Sh-she heard me again?! Why? What is going on here?!'
"Sh-Shizuru Do you still h-hear me?" I asked weakly on what received her uncertain nod.
'It isn't happening…Why does she still hear me? I did so many offers to be not in contact with her…But now things are even worse…She hears me…WHY?! WHY THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!"
Mini feed.
Natsuki: Author!
Bad one: Yaiks! -tries to hide-
Natsuki: Come back here! -grabs author- Tell me what the hell is it? -shows last scene from chapter-
Bad one: Well... Shizuru and Reito are having love session...
Natsuki: I can see it! That is why I ask WHY?!
Bad one: But you are ghost! And she is living being who needs attention!
Natsuki: Oh you little! -wants to hit author-
Shizuru: Oh yes Reito! -was heard behind the door-
Natsuki: WHAT THE???!!! -wide eyese-
Bad one: Hmm it seems Shizuru is trying everything in reality -thinking pose-
Shizuru: Faster Reito! Faster!
Natsuki and Bad one: 0.0
-Natsuki breaks the door- GET AWAY FROM MY SHIZURU YOU PER... -0.0-
Bad one looks into the room.
Shizuru: Ara, what happened Natsuki? -asked Shizuru while holding her empty cup-
Natsuki: Eeee...what are you doing?
Shizuru: Oh! I was just out of tea and Reito decided to make one for me, but it took him so long to do it... -sigh-
Reito: Hai hai, Shizuru! I'm coming -comes with kettle-
Natsuki faints.
Shizuru: Ara, Natsuki! What happened?!
Bad one: I think she got wrong idea after reading my new chapter.
Shizuru: What chapter?
Bad one: This...-Shizuru is already reading it-...one...
Shizuru: 0.0
Bad one -nervouse laugh- it seems you liked last part too...
Shizuru: Kiyohime!
Bad one: 0.0
I hope you had enough of handkerchiefs and I hope that mini feed made your mood better now XD Anyway I'm waiting for reviews :) Even if they are bad XD
And Baka-moy please save me from Shizuru and otheres if they will want to do the same to me T.T