For Lucy.
This is Charlie's point of view for Christmas Eve – some missing bits of part of chapter 15. I hope you enjoy. :)
It's been a long day. The snow might be pretty to look at, but when you have a city full of folks who aren't used to driving in it, it can turn into a problem. I've spent most of my day tending to fender benders and helping people who slid off the road. None of that matters though because it's Christmas Eve, and for the first time in too long, I have a full house waiting for me at home. I'm not sure what I thought I'd come home to, but when I walk in the back door I can't help but smile. The kids are all holed up in the kitchen, baking cookies together. I stomp the snow off my boots, which makes Bella laugh. She laughs a lot these days, and I think I owe most of that to the boy who's smiling at her right now. He's good for her.
I steal two cookies before Bella slaps my hands away, and then I sit down at the table with them while she starts putting dinner together. Seeing her in the kitchen like this is bittersweet, especially around the holidays. She smiles while she works, and every now and then she stops to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She looks so much like her mother. She has that same look of concentration where her eyes narrow and she gets a little pinch in her brow. It's hard to watch, but I can't look away. I miss my wife. I miss her so much that sometimes it's all I can think about. But I'd rather see her this way – in our daughter – than go back to when it was just the two of us. Renee was the love of my life, but Bella is my whole world. Seeing her happy and healthy is worth everything.
We sit down to dinner – tamales with rice and beans. It's been a tradition in my family for generations, and Bella loves it. She uses my grandmother's recipes for everything down to the pecan cookies that she knows are my favorite. I'm pretty sure she puts extra powdered sugar on them just for me. They make a hell of a mess this way, and Bella laughs when Jasper gets some on his nose. She brushes it off for him, and God, it's so hard to see stuff like this. She's my baby girl. My twenty-two year old baby girl. But she smiles at this boy like she loves him, and he looks at her like he'd go out and conquer the world for her. I'm a lot of things, but I'm no fool. I know where this is going; I just don't know how I'm supposed to watch my little girl grow up and start needing some other man instead of me. She's always needed me. I want her to be happy, but this might just kill me.
Bella seems to realize we're all watching her and gets uncomfortable. Jasper keeps right on smiling at her until I clear my throat. I give him my best stern look, and he has the good sense to look sheepish. I might like him, but I've got to keep him on his toes.
After dinner, Jasper asks Bella if she'll go for a walk with him. I open my mouth to argue – it is Christmas Eve, and it's damn cold outside and still snowing – but Rosie elbows me in the ribs. Traitor.
"What was that for?" I ask, rubbing my side.
"Oh don't be such a baby, Charlie. You were going to tell them not to go, and they need some time alone."
I don't know how it's possible, but this sixteen-year-old girl manages to scold me better than my own mother did. She rolls her eyes and tosses her hair to the side, and I just gape at her like a fool.
"They have plenty of time alone," I argue. Now I'm just trying to be stubborn. I admit it.
"But he has to tell her something," she says. "Now quit pouting."
She tries to poke the furrow in my brow, but I bat her hand away.
"Tell her what?"
"You'll see," she says, practically singing. She knows something.
"I don't like secrets in my house, Rosalie." I'm doing my best to be stern, but it's not going to work with her.
"It's not a secret, Charles. Now quit being such a grump and help me with the dishes."
She turns away, and I take the opportunity to laugh silently while she can't see me. I love this kid and her attitude. I bet she keeps Jasper on his toes.
"If it's not a secret then spill it, little sister."
"He loves her," she says, shrugging like it's the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe it is.
"Well no shit. Tell me something I don't know."
"I told you it wasn't a secret," she grumbles.
They're gone for a long time – too long – but Rosie won't let me do anything about it. We finish the dishes and then sit down to start a movie. I'm not even sure what we're watching. When they finally come in, they're both pleased as punch about something. I don't think they could stop smiling if I paid them. Rosie elbows me again, and dammit, that hurts.
"That was quite a walk you guys had," Rosie teases.
Bella blushes like I've never seen, and Jasper stutters through his answer. "We... well I mean, I fell and she... she fell too and then, you know, we were talking and stuff and… shut up, Rose. Snow's pretty, you know."
I narrow my eyes at him, because it sounds like he's lucky I wasn't running surveillance on this little "walk" they went on.
"Oh relax, Jasper." Rosie's laughing now, and I can't help but join her. "It's not like we were spying. We just thought you might've gotten lost or something. You were gone forever."
"I almost grabbed my gun and formed a search party," I say. I chuckle when Jasper's eyes go wide. He's too easy.
"Daddy, stop it." Bella tries to scold me, but I can tell she's trying even harder not to laugh.
"What? It's true… right, Rosie? I mean it's already loaded and everything. I was just about to put on my boots and head out."
Now Jasper starts looking from Bella to Rosie and back again. Rose shakes her head, and he visibly relaxes. Poor kid. I should go easy on him, but this is too much fun.
"Now, now… you know I'm only messing with you, son." I stand to clap him on the shoulder and then lean in closer, so only he can hear me. "It's a little too cold for you to get up to too much trouble out there. But you watch yourself while you're inside my house."
He stiffens, laughing nervously as I go back to my seat on the couch.
"Yes, sir. Of course, sir."
"Oh leave him alone, Charlie." Bella's losing her patience now. "Jasper, why don't you go get your present? The one for Charlie. Let's all open one tonight."
He nods and runs up the stairs, but not before looking over his shoulder at me. I really should go easy on him.
"I don't believe you," Bella grumbles. She sits on the ottoman across from me, just like she used to when she was little and she wanted to tell me something important. Only now she's not so little, and her knees bump into mine. It's a little uncomfortable but I don't let on. "He's trying so hard to earn your respect, and you're just playing around with him."
"Calm down, honey. If I didn't already respect him I wouldn't have invited him here, and I definitely wouldn't be wasting my time messing around with him. He's a big boy. He can handle it."
She tries not to smile but she can't help it. Rosie just rolls her eyes at me from her spot on the couch.
When Jasper comes back downstairs, he still looks nervous. Bella takes his hand, leading him to sit next to her by the fireplace, and he seems to calm down. She sits him in her favorite overstuffed chair while she perches on the arm. I don't miss the way his hand seems so comfortable resting on her hip, and Rosie elbows me again. I must be glaring.
To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect when I invited Jasper and Rosie to spend Christmas with us. But I knew it would make Bella happy, and Jasper sure seemed like he could use a little family time. They both could. I still don't know everything their fool of a mother did to them, but I know enough. I know enough to hate her for it. They're good kids, and they don't deserve the damage she's caused them. They both need a little kindness. I intend to give it to them.
Rosie passes out a present for each of us. Bella insists that we go in order from youngest to oldest, so Rosie's up first.
This one is from me, and as she carefully opens it, I'm suddenly grateful that I got Bella to help me wrap it. Rosie looks confused when she first sees it. I'm nervous; maybe it was a bad idea. But then she's laughing and Bella's rolling her eyes at me. Jasper wants to see so she passes it to him, and then he's laughing, too.
"Really, Dad?" Bella asks. She's trying her best to look disapproving, but I can tell she's really pleased. It's a can of pepper spray and a gift certificate for a self-defense class up at the station. I intended for Rosie to go before they head back to Austin. Bella will really roll her eyes at me when she sees I got her a new can, too. And she'll be joining Rosie at the class even though she's been before. You can never be too careful.
"What?" I ask. "It's something every girl should have."
Rosie jumps up to hug me, still laughing. "Thanks, Charlie. I've never had my very own pepper spray."
"Just in case," I say. "Never know when you might need to defend yourself."
It's Bella's turn next, and I watch her shy smile as she unwraps her gift from Rosie. It's a pretty, deep blue scarf and hat. Rosie blushes when she admits she made them herself, and Bella tries them on immediately. They laugh and hug, and Bella tells her over and over how perfect they are. Jasper just smiles, watching the girls like I am.
I used to wonder if I made a mistake in not getting married again. Sometimes I wondered if I should've, for Bella, because maybe she deserved better than to grow up an only child. Maybe she should've grown up like this. Maybe she should've had sisters to talk about boys and other girl stuff with. Maybe she should've had a brother or two, someone to defend her honor and make sure she was always looked after. Maybe a father who was trying his best wasn't enough. Maybe she needed a mother to teach her about life and love and everything I'm not so good at.
But then I see things like the scene in front of me. I see these girls together, laughing like they were always meant to be friends. I see this boy who loves my daughter, and I know she doesn't need a brother because he's going to watch out for her. Somehow I think this was how it was meant to be. Families aren't always perfect, but it seems like we've made a pretty good little family for ourselves here. Maybe I didn't need to worry so much about what I thought Bella was missing out on.
Jasper's up next and he tears the paper off his present with a little more enthusiasm than the girls. It makes everyone laugh. He stops dead when he sees the photo she gave him, though, and if I'm not mistaken, he's blushing. I'm not sure what that's about. It's a nice view of the Capitol building in Austin, taken from somewhere on South Congress. In fact, from what it looks like, Bella must have been standing in the middle of the street when she took it. I try not to scowl at her, but I'll definitely be checking on that later. There's an old airstream trailer blocking part of the view, and I wonder why she didn't get a little closer so it wasn't in the picture.
"Thank you," he whispers.
"Good memory?" she asks.
"The best."
He kisses her cheek, and she smiles.
It's my turn now, and the pressure is on. Judging by the way they're all watching me, everyone has seen whatever this is but me.
I make a show of tearing the paper off carefully – and incidentally, as slowly as I can manage – while they all sit and fidget. Jasper is looking anywhere but at me. I'm dying of curiosity and doing my best not to show it.
Then it's all over, and I'm holding at the prettiest photograph I've ever seen. I look down at it, and... god. I just don't know how it's possible that something fifty percent me could ever be so beautiful. But my baby girl is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I know it, and I'm pretty sure the lovesick fool sitting across from me knows it, too.
I don't know how he got the picture to look old, but it does. She looks like something out of another era. She's flying high on a swing, her head tipped back toward the sky. I don't think I've ever seen her look so happy. She's laughing, carefree, and it brings her to life.
"Jasper..." I start, but I don't know what else to say. My voice is rough, my eyes sting, and I have to clear my throat and blink a few times to pull myself together.
"Yeah?" he asks.
"Yeah. I... thank you. It's perfect."
He smiles at me for a moment, but then he's smiling at her. Her eyes light up and her cheeks turn pink, and I may as well be looking at her mother again. I've seen that look. I saw it in the way Renee used to look at me, every day we were together. I see it in the way Bella looks at Jasper. That smile he's wearing for her makes me smile even though inside my heart is breaking. It makes me happy even though this hurts.
That's when I know. I know I don't have to worry about my little girl anymore. I don't have to worry that she'll be taken care of when I'm gone. It doesn't matter that she grew up without a mother or a good example of what marriage should be. It doesn't matter that she was an only child and I was a single dad without a clue. None of that matters anymore because somehow she's found just what she needs. She's found what I always wanted for her. It just so happens that it's the exact same thing I've always been terrified she would find.
Well, shit. This boy's gonna marry my daughter.
Thank you so so much to Lucette212 for bidding on me during Fandom Gives Back and winning this outtake. She told me she'd like to see either this scene of Charlie opening his present from Jasper or a Garrett outtake, and when I sat down to write, this was what came out. She's stuck by me through so much while I wrote this story and been so supportive. I as you wish her like no other.
Thank you to TheHeartOfLife1 for looking this over and making things better.
Thank you for reading. :) There are at least two more outtakes in the works, so I'll see you all again.