Disclaimer: I don't own Watchmen, it's Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons property for the comics version and Zack Snyder for the movie version, and I don't own Discworld, Terry Pratchett does. Do you seriously think after all I've said that I get paid on it ?
A new masked-hero in this chapter !
Sorry if I hadn't post it earlier but I had a lot of corrections to do in the following chapters that should arrive more quickly, these corrections obliged me to rewrite some parts of this chapter.
Enjoy !
Chapter 9 : Of trolls and dealers
Gaspode had been living with this funny human who wore a mask at night for a few days now, the human en question had been rather nice with him, maybe he could consider talking to him, after all he was hanging around with humans weird enough, especially the older one who smelled just a little less than Foul Ole Ron, to not be surprised by a talking dog. And this night, he would come with him instead of sleeping, otherwise he would become as soft as a pet dog, he didn't want to be a pet dog, and he wasn't one since he was only living with this biped, who was certainly not his master, absolutely not, proof of it ? He hadn't a bowl with his name on or a basket full of soft cushions, he only had a old plain bowl and a pile of old papers;
The human for the moment was sleeping under a blanket from which a red mop of hair and a nose were sticking out.
He get closer to the human and put his nose against the human's cheek: the cold contact with this last one was enough to wake up anyone, his mast... roommate sat up, groaning, eyes half closed, and looked at him.
"What do you want doggie ? I gave you water an hour ago. Leave me alone, would like to sleep a little before the night."
He let himself fall down. Gaspode decided to make it quicker by nibbling at his hand.
"OW ! What's wrong with you ?"
Then he grumbled to himself something about an ingrate who bite the hand that feed him and another thing about bad teeth that could cause diseases while he was pushing away the blanket.
"You're awoken biped ? Relax, it was just a nibble, no risk it gets infected. I'm glad to tell you that you have as a companion Gaspode the wonder dog, the only talking dog in Ankh-Morpork. I'm telling you all this because I trust you."
The human stared at him, eyes wide-open.
"Stupid dream, talking dog, what next ?"
He fell asleep, Gaspode jumped on his chest and lick his face.
"You're not dreaming, got it ? I'm talking, see ?"
The one called Fredson at night took the dog away from his chest after he wiped the slaver away from his face.
"Holy shit ! You can talk for real !"
"You finally admit it, great. Now put me down !"
"If you shut your mouth. Now, I really have to go, stay here."
He slammed the door as he left the room, making fly thus a piece of paper from the Times on which could be read...
·][·
THE OGRE OF THE SHADES KILLED BY MASKED HEROES !
That's what could be read on the first page of the Times, there was also an article about the heroes' interview, in which we learn that Grey Wolf was a werewolf, but the reporter insisted on the fact he had been violent only towards a malevolent being, proof of the werewolves good integration, and that Rorschach came from another world, a round world !
And the Dean, who was reading the newspaper, couldn't even blame Rorschach since Rincewind was with him, like the iconography showed it. After all, it proved he was right from the very beginning. When he'll tell about it to Ridcully who didn't suspect a thing...
·][·
The young man, as he was rushing downstairs, collided with a man.
"Hey ! Look where you're going, you little... Oh, that's you kid. Hi !"
"Er... 'Evening Burned Face;"
He had just collided with his floor-neighbor, a major burn-victim who looked like if he had been dragged from a nightmare, even after three years living in the same floor, the teenager remained a little disturbed by his face, especially when he appeared suddenly from the dark.
"Where are you going like that every night ? Got yourself a girl, hey ? With your face you still have your chances you at least."
"No, I'm just seeing friends in a pub."
"Every night ?"
He nodded.
"You can hold your liquor pretty well for your age then, kiddo. Never seen you looking drunk when you come back."
"Yep, sorry but got to go."
"Have fun kiddo. Hope your dog will pass the night by the way."
The young man looked down and noticed the little dog had followed him.
"Dork !"
His neighbor grabbed the dog by the neck's skin and, looking embarrassed and upset, ran even faster and before disappearing said one last thing to his neighbor:
"Sorry, gotta go, late !" and he added on a lower tone to the dog once outside. "Don't ever do that again !"
Strange, thought Burned Face going upstairs, it didn't sound like the voice of his young neighbor. Maybe he should not have drink all that scumble.
·][·
"Fucking stupid Omnians ! I've already told you I will put your fucking Book of Om where the sun doesn't shine if you ever come back ! Maybe you need a demonstration to finally understand... Oh, that's you Sam, come in," said the man lowering his crossbow, the only thing sticking out from the half-opened door in case it would be the agent Visit or another of these bloody stubborn Omnians who didn't seem to understand the meaning of "get lost !"
Besides, he didn't understood why they were losing their time with him in the first place, he was an alchemist and Om in some passages of his bloody book (3) ordered rather gross horrible things to be done to the alchemists, classified as heretics like many others, and the didn't want this kind of after-death. Why the heck would he worship a god who obviously hated him ?
"Hello Fred," said the young man as he entered into the building, followed by a little dragon, the man in his eternal dirty red and green stripped sweat locked the door.
"I come for the D-food."
"Here you go. You're satisfied with it ?" asked the alchemist as he gave Sam a little bag containing what looked little pieces of coal.
"Very much. It worked perfectly this time."
"Great, I can still make it better you know."
"I f you want, but it's really good as it is."
Sam was indeed very satisfied with Fred's work. When he was looking for an alchemist to help him in the research for his dragon's food, most of them had asked exorbitant prices to work out of the guild, but people had advised him a guy called Burned-Face, who wasn't the sharpest knife of the drawer but wasn't a spoon either they said, a burn-victim known for selling, like others alchemists did, various medicines out of the guild but who sold them at very reasonable prices unlike his colleagues or the apothecaries. His patients were for most of them cured and alive, which was enough to prove his skills for Sam (4).
"Could you leave now, please ? Not that I don't enjoy your company but I'm doing an experiment and I don't want a dragon around. If the temperature raises even just a little because of this stupid lizard there might be a big explosion."
"Everything ends up blowing up with you anyway," Sam retorted
"Hey ! It happens less and less !" replied the burn-victim as he was looking for ingredients into a cupboard crammed with jars which content was, for the better, difficult to identify.
"What about your landlady and the other tenants ? They've never complained about your experiments ?"
"Nope, they know nothing about it."
"They don't hear the explosions ? You're kidding me ?
"Nope, I've soundproofed everything, why do you think there're mattress on the walls ? For decoration ? Hey ! Stop it, you stupid beast !"
He was talking to Phoenix which was on the back of a big bright red sleepy salamander which were laid down near the fireplace.
"Don't want some hybrid between a dragon and a salamander !" ha said grabbing the salamander, after putting on big and very resistant leather gloves since the beast was always burning after having slept in the fire, and put it on the table. He would soon use the lizard for an experiment anyway, Fred saw indeed the creature more like some work tool than a pet: he used it to heat the various mixtures he prepared after she had absorbed the heat of the fire in the fireplace, an ability owned by the species: salamanders could absorb heat. A rather nice pet, always sleeping in the fire, didn't cost a lot in food since it ate fire, stood for heating during winter and didn't risk to explode contrary to a dragon.
"You know it's technically impossible ? Swamp dragons and salamander can't blend. It's a female ? What's her name ?" asked Sam while Phoenix was climbing on his shoulder
"Don't know, don't care. The beast could be called "boiler" for the use I have of it."
He then put a leather apron, thick-glasses goggles and a foulard on the lower part of his face while the liquid he had obtained by blending the different ingredients was beginning to boil.
"Thanks for the D-food... I'm leaving, bye," said Sam stepping back quickly
Great, he had enough special D-food to start this night, in addition he was just near the Shades...
·][·
"Fredson. You're late," noticed Rorschach
"Not that much."
"What is this awful little dog doing with you ?" asked the Phantasm
"Awful ? Stupid bitch !"
"What did you just said ?"
"Nothing !"
"Remember what I told about fighting each other last time ?" asked Rorschach
"Yes, save it for criminals, we will do that, don't worry. Right Fredson ?" answered the Phantasm, who was in fact thinking like Fredson to how painful it could be to have the ear tweaked. "And you didn't answer about the dog."
"He's mine," answered the young vigilante, who kept talking despite the dog's growling. "But he's not gonna bother us any longer, I promise. Now go home, Gaspode."
The little dog didn't move.
"Excuse me," said Fredson as he grabbed the dog by the scruff of the neck and walked towards an alleyway, from where the others couldn't see him. "Won't take long."
Once in the alleyway, he released Gaspode who complained immediately.
"Stop grabbing me like that, it hurts you know ! I'm a quite old dog, you know ? You could be nice with me."
"Then try to be nice with me by stopping following me first ! Now Gaspode, you stay here or go home !"
"Hey, what gives you the right to give me orders ? Gaspode do this, Gaspode do that. You think you're my master or what ? I don't have any master ! I live under the same roof as you and we share the food but you're not my master, got it ? A roommate at best." He paused, looking at something behind the young mask and just said: "Oh crap."
Fredson looked behind him to see Rorschach, the Phantasm and Rincewind, it seemed that only Grey Wolf had respected his private life and stayed away, just looking at them.
"So, you called me bitch, flea bag ?" said the Phantasm, giving a bad look at the dog
"For your information young lady I've had no fleas for two week, but I have ticks now."
"A talking dog," said Rorschach, sounding more surprised than when he learned about the existence of vampires, he asked to the wizard. "Is that why there's a Dogs' Guild ?"
"Probably," said the wizard who just wished to be in the University at the moment rather than there and was cursing mentally both the Patrician and Ridcully.
"Let me tell you you're wrong", said the dog. "The other dogs can't talk, I' m the one and only talking dog."
"Why are you with Fredson ?"
He was questioning a dog, sick how it didn't surprise him as much as it should.
"To be sure nothing happens to him, after all he's the one who brings the food and owns the room."
"I'm just a tenant. I think I'll throw you out when I'm back home, you stupid dog !"
"I don't think so."
"What makes you so sure ?"
"I've seen your face and I know where you live."
"That's unfair !" exclaimed Fredson while the stains on his mask were moving faster than usual. "I thought you were a normal dog back then !"
"A dog blackmails you, you're really unlucky !" chuckled the Phantasm. "So Gaspode, can you tell us of his secrets ? What does he look like under ?"
"You would be surprised..." answered laconically the dog.
"You little..."
Rorschach was ready to move the Phantasm away from the young one, even if he thought she asked for it, but he was tired of the quarrels between these two. But unexpectedly, Fredson didn't attack his colleague, he bent over Gaspode and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck.
"Let me go !"
"My pleasure."
He put right in front of Grey Wolf.
"Let me introduce to you, my colleague, Grey Wolf, he's a werewolf and tonight it's full moon. He could eat you as an appetizer if I asked him. So keep your mouth shut ! We can go now."
·][·
While the humans were talking about drug-dealers: the smelly one had a tip from a guy after he broke his arm the other night, Gaspode decided to talk with the werewolf.
"Hello, we've already met days ago, remember ? You're related to Angua ? You look a lot like her."
"She's my mother. You know her ?"
"Yep, a little. What's your name, your real name I mean."
"Gavin."
"Funny she gave you that name."
"Why ?"
"It was the name of a wolf who saved her life in Uberwald years ago, a very intelligent and brave wolf." (1)
"Glad she gave me his name then."
"By the way, your friend Fredson is not what you think."
"What... Don't tell me anything about him !"
"No need, you can find out yourself with your nose. I wonder why you haven't found out yourself, since you've been hanging out with this biped for quite some time. Unless your sense of smell is very weak."
"I was under my human form most of the time, under this form I can smell just a little better than the humans. And my sense of smell is less developed than my mother's," he admitted
For the sake of curiosity he decided to check what Gaspode told him, anyway, if he discovered anything there was no way he would tell the others what his comrade was keeping secret. Fortunately Fredson didn't smell as much as Rorschach did, because when one doesn't wash at all the stench covered his true smell, which allowed it to find the true smell of his partner after some efforts though. And he was surprised by what he discovered, he had expected anything but this.
·][·
They arrived not far from an old building from where two men had just left, looking on drugs with their little bags, unfortunately for them, they encountered Rorschach and the others, hidden in the shadows, the first was caught by Rorschach, the second by Fredson.
"The dealers. How many are there ?"
Instead of insulting them, fighting, begging for mercy or crying out of fear like the criminals usually did when they confronted them, the two junkies had a rather unexpected reaction: they burst out laughing;
"Wow, your face is melting, dude!" said the one Rorschach was grabbing by the collar;
"What beautiful colors !" exclaimed the one Fredson kept prisoner, staring at his mask. "Oh, a red one !"
The teen was so surprised that he released the junkie who, instead of running away, kept looking at him laughing in a silly way.
"What's wrong with them ? They're not supposed to react that way, dammit !"
"That must be the drugs," proposed Rincewind, who, because he opened his mouth, reminding to the heroes that the wizard was with them: they tended to forget his presence since he didn't talk much ant acted even less, the only one they didn't forget was the Luggage. "They must think you are hallucinations."
Rorschach broke a finger to the junkie in front of him, he finally had a normal reaction: crying.
"Gods ! Why did you do that ?" exclaimed the Phantasm
"Prove him I'm real."
"There were other ways," protested the young girl
The other junkie suddenly charged Rincewind yelling: "Die fucking scarecrow ! Die !" (2) but he never reached him since the Luggage swallowed it before the vigilantes could have done anything.
"Shit. I should not have released the guy..."
"Quit it ! Shouldn't have attacked Rincewind," protested the eldest vigilante, who noticed that Fredson was still too soft, much less soft than Daniel, the Phantasm or Grey Wolf but still soft on some criminals. He then turned towards the remaining junkie, who was looking, a terrified look on his face, at the Luggage: "You'll be next if you don't tell me how many dealers there are."
"There... there are four inside... don't let it eat me, please, let me go !"
"No way. Consuming drugs is a crime, you must be punished. The Watch or the Luggage, your choice."
"The... the Watch."
"Good. You'll wait them with the wizard. Rincewind, you'll stay here."
"As you wish Rorschach," answered the wizard with relief
The hero turned then towards the homicidal walking chest:
"Eat him if he tries to escape."
The chest stuck a big mahogany tongue out and licked its teeth, making the prisoner gulping.
The masked-heroes had found a better way than tying criminals up or beat them until they lost consciousness to keep the criminals from running away since Rincewind was with them: let the Luggage with them.
He headed towards the hide-out of the drug dealers, when Fredson said:
"Wait, Grey Wolf isn't following."
"And there's another wolf," added his partner
Grey Wolf was indeed behind them, facing a wolf with a fur as white-golden as his, which barked at him firmly, he whined but the other groaned, baring its teeth, Grey Wolf bowed and followed the wolf.
"What ? Come back !" ordered Rorschach
"No need biped, he won't obey to you," said Gaspode as the two wolves were going farther.
"Why ?"
"She has more authority on him than you, she's his mother."
"Then we'll do without the werewolf."
·][·
Four drug-dealers came out, when they saw the heroes they immediately tried to run away but they were caught easily and brought under the guard of Rincewind, or more exactly the Luggage.
"Rorschach, I think you forgot one. I've seen a face at the window," said the wizard
They looked at the window and saw a face that quickly disappeared, they rushed inside the building and Fredson ran towards the cases from where came a suspicious noise.
"Gotcha !" he said as he caught the dealer, then he walked towards the exit with his prisoner. "Can we go now ?"
"Not so fast," said Rorschach who grabbed the drug-dealer by the collar to pin him against the wall. "Are there others with you ? Speak !"
"Not the fingers ! Not the fingers !" begged the man
"Answer then !"
"Yes... yes, there're others... behind this door," he said showing them an impressive door locked by a padlock. "They asked me to lock them in when they saw you arrive, but if I hand them over to you, you'll let me go free, hey ?"
Rorschach released him rudely.
"You'll be lucky already if you keep you fingers unbroken. Got the key ?"
He nodded.
Then he dragged him towards the door followed by the teens and the dog.
"Open it."
Shaking, he opened the padlock, then tried to escape but Fredson and the Phantasm caught him up.
"Not fast enough," said Rorschach opening the door. He wondered briefly why the man looked so terrorized, after all he didn't harm him in anyway, doesn't matter he thought.
"Liar ! Nothing but a pile of bricks behind this door !"
"Er... is the pile of bricks moving ?" asked the Phantasm in a worried voice.
The pile of bricks had risen and looked at them angrily through hazy eyes.
"That's not bricks... that's a troll !" shouted Fredson
The dealer took advantage of the terror and stupefaction that paralyzed the vigilantes at the sight of the troll to escape after punching Fredson, who was holding him, in the stomach he quickly locked himself in a nearby room, the heroes heard a key locking the door.
"Try to escape this, heroes !" were the last word uttered by the thug
"Rorschach... Sorry for...," began Fredson
"Not now. Just run !"
He grabbed each of them by one arm and ran towards the closest hiding-place while the troll was running after after them, fortunately not very quickly. The door was too far, there was no way they could reached it: they would get smashed by the troll if he saw them, but maybe something little wouldn't be noticed...
"Gaspode," whispered Fredson while his colleagues were watching the troll from their hiding-place: a pile of drugs' boxes.
"Y... yes ?"
"Go and get help, tell there's a troll. Quick !"
And Gaspode ran as quickly as his little legs allowed while the boxes behind the ones the vigilantes were hidden had just been pulverized by the troll.
·][·
"So, you know for the Ogre ?"
"Yes."
"I see. I'll left the group and stop going out when full moon, or I'll go out just with you."
"Gavin, when did I ask you that ?"
"It means I can stay in the group ?"
"I just wanted to warn you about your temper when you're in wolf-form, last time you were lucky your aggressiveness fell upon a child-killer, by the way I'm proud of you for saving that kid."
"Yes, but I lost control because of the blood, I've almost bitten Rorschach and I didn't remembered what I had done, I had no control, I could have killed one of my colleagues or the little girl. Perhaps I shouldn't come with them at full moon."
"It's your choice. As for the one you had almost bitten, you didn't try to attack him after ?"
"No. From what I remember at least."
"So you can control yourself at least a little, that's impressing already. You'll need to work harder on it, especially on keeping yourself calm when there's blood. It's still difficult for me, you know."
"Gavin ! Gavin !"
Gaspode stopped between the two werewolves to catch his breath.
"Pfff... The bipeds need help... pfff... They're fighting a troll..."
"A troll ! Mum, I must go, they need me !"
"Gavin, it's a troll. You're not going alone. Gaspode, go and find Carrot, tell him to bring as many men he can get !"
"But mum, they need me, and I'm afraid you'll have to look for Dad yourself, just look at Gaspode." The little dog was indeed laying down, his tongue hanging, breathing loudly and unable to move.
"Fine, I'll bring your father and the others, but please don't take inconsiderate risks."
"I promise."
The two werewolves separated each other and were about to go, when Gavin looked back.
"Mum, can you please don't say anything to Dad ? He would be worry."
"Alright," answered Angua, acknowledging his son was right about it: despite all he was saying about letting the boy some independence and privacy at his age, Carrot was still caring a lot, sometimes too much, for his son, even if he tried to hide it to not bother Gavin. Anyway, she thought, she would still keep an eye on the boy during her patrol, when she wasn't with Elsa of course.
Two golden figures ran in opposite direction there and a little exhausted dog managed to stand up after three tries, and followed very slowly the young werewolf, thinking to himself that he was too old for this crap.
·][·
"Anyone know how to beat a troll ?" asked Rorschach
"Unless you're a troll, a dwarf or a barbarian hero I don't think there's any chance. The only way is hiding and wait until he gets tired, and prey any gods you know," answered the Phantasm
"Great, that's the last box he didn't break," said Fredson. "Worst, looks like he's suffering from withdrawal symptoms. If he was clean, we could negotiate, but in this state, no way. Now if someone has any idea..."
"Got one. You and the Phantasm, run towards the exit."
"What about you ?"
"Will distract the troll."
"We can't let you !" protested Fredson
"Go now," ordered the mask
"No way ! Listen I have a..." answered the younger mask
The Phantasm, ready to run, grabbed the stubborn vigilante to compel him to go and interrupted him:
"Fredson, we must do as he say. Don't be... OW !"
The troll had hardly touched her, yet it was enough for her to fall unconscious, fortunately, her head didn't hit the wall or the ground since Fredson managed to catch her in time.
"Just obey. Don't discuss. Bring her outside, hurry !"
Fredson, carrying her partner on his shoulder, ran as fast as he could towards the exit, while Rorschach ran in the opposed direction to distract the troll from the young heroes and was trying to avoid the blows.
·][·
The two werewolves arrived just when Fredson exited with the Phantasm from the building.
"Grey Wolf ? Good to see you !" said Fredson putting the young girl down. "Bring her to the wizard, got a plan to help him."
And the mask re entered into the place despite the protesting barks of his colleague.
"Don't worry werewolf," said Gaspode who had just arrived. "Bring the female biped to the wizard. I'm sure he'll be okay. You're heroes, right ? You're supposed to be lucky bastards who survive anything, aren't you ?"
At this moment, he hoped sincerely it was the case: it was nice to have a regular and rather abundant food, a cozy place away from cold, which was important for an old dog like him, and someone who scratched him behind the ears without being disgusted by his scabs.
·][·
It was the fourth time Rorschach hadn't been able to avoid the blows of the rabid troll, worse: he had been touched on the leg this time, so strong it made him fall. The troll caught him by a leg with the intention of squashing him against the wall until death. While he was upside down, he saw a familiar figure going near the boxes of drugs.
"Fredson ? Why are you here ? Go out !"
But the young man wasn't willing to obey and the troll just turned his head towards him. Stupid ! Why did he cry out ? Stupid, stupid !
"Hey, you the troll, come here !" shouted Fredson at the top of his voice and waving his arms.
The kid had suicidal tendencies or what ? And what was that thing he was waving now ?
"See what I got here ?" he said taking off a little bag a handful of white powder. "That's what you want, hey ? So come and get it !"
Suddenly, the troll dropped Rorschach and, driven by greed, ran towards the young vigilante who ran away: it looked like a good idea, he had tried to talk about it to Rorschach earlier but he didn't listen, and there was a few chances he would have accepted an escape-plan involving drugs even in that situation, Rorschach was safe, now time to care about his own safety.
He picked himself but walked slower than usual because of his still painful leg. Bloody troll !
·][·
Rincewind was waiting with the girl who was still unconscious, the prisoners terrorized by the luggage.
"He's still inside..." said Grey Wolf sounding anxious
"Two minutes ago only. Gavin, he said he had a plan, just let him time," told him Gaspode
"I will not wait."
The young werewolf moved towards the building from which bumped out Fredson with a bag.
The sight of the young vigilante coming out alive would have normally made Rincewind happy, which impeached him to react so was the troll running after the young one.
The young one stopped running, a suicidal attitude second Rincewind, and brandished the bag to wave it at the troll. The kid must have definitely lost his mind. He then threw the bag as far away as he could from him and the others and the troll ran after the bag.
"Hey, Rorschach ! Did you see that ?" asked Fredson as he came back near the building
"Yes. What was in the bag ?"
"Slice, it's troll's drug. Hey ! What are you doing ?"
Rorschach looked indeed like he wanted to get back into the building.
"Still one drug-dealer inside, the bastard who let us with the troll. Must be punished."
"I'm coming with you then."
"No. You got the troll, you can leave me the junkie."
"Okay," said the young vigilante as the other re entered into the place. He left, almost feeling sorry for the dealer, even if he deserved what was about to happen.
·][·
"Hmmm... my head... I'm not into the building anymore ?" moaned the Phantasm who had just regained consciousness.
"Welcome back, Miss," said Rincewind extending his hand to help her to pick herself up.
"Where's Fredson ? Did the troll..."
"No he's fine, he dragged you out of here and took care of the troll," answered the wizzard. "He's now talking with commissioner Vimes."
The troll was indeed surrounded by troll-agents of the city Watch commanded by sergeant Detritus.
"What ? You want me to believe that this skinny guy beat up a troll ?"
"I did, and don't thank me for dragging you out of there !"
"Thank you ? If you had obeyed Rorschach immediately I would not have been unconscious... By the way where is he ?
"Well, he's..."
The building suddenly fallen apart.
"... inside..." finished Fredson, watching the ruins left of the building like the others
·][·
Just before the building fall apart, Detritus had taken the bag after the little human left it behind and looked inside as the troll agents impeached the junkie to touch his drug, he clenched his fist: this bloody thing turned young healthy trolls into trollian derelicts as weak as limestone. He aimed the Piecemaker at the building and fired.
·][·
"Sergeant Detritus !" shouted Vimes. "What did I tell you about this thing ?"
"Use the Piecemaker only when really necessary and only when you order it," answered the troll, who added for his defense. "But there was no one inside, commissioner."
"Wrong. Rorschach was inside," said Fredson. "Does anybody see him going out ?"
The only answer he got was an embarrassed an worry silence.
"I guess it means no."
·][·
Grey Wolf and the Watch's werewolf ran towards the ruins, nose on the ground. Vigilantes, watchmen, wizard and dog followed them: a werewolf's nose was always to be trust.
The two werewolves stopped near a pile and barked to the humans.
"What did they said ?" asked Fredson, on a lower tone so that no one could hear him talking to a dog, to Gaspode
"They said he's right under that pile."
"Well, he's dead for sure," stated the young girl
"Don't say that before we find the body," said Fredson. "There's a hole here..."
Saying so he took off his coat and hat, then knelt in front of a hole not much bigger than a rabbit-hole.
"What are you doing ?"
"See if I can reach him," answered the teen as his head disappeared inside
"Er Fredson, it's too little, you'll never... well, I was wrong, you've passed through," said Rincewind
Now only his feet sticking out of the hole proved the presence of the slim, not to say rather skinny, teen who was searching any sign of the masked hero, and he found one...
"Hey ! Got his hat !"
"You got the head with it ?" asked the Phantasm
"Funny really."
He had the hat, good, but that didn't prove he was alive, going a little deeper, his feet disappearing too, he found something more tangible: a gloved hand, Vimes was holding now him by his feet, so that they don't end up with another trapped mask. After hesitating, he reached his hand towards the gloved one, to check if he was still...
"Hey !" yelled Fredson before being suddenly pulled out of the hole by the watchmen
"What happened down here ? Are you hurt ?" asked Vimes
"No, no I'm okay. And I've found him."
"Is he...," began Rincewind, sounding worry.
"No, still living. He grabbed my hand when I touched it, that's why I've yelled, but not for long if we don't get a move on."
The dust-covered vigilante began to clear away the crumbs helped by the others.
"At this rate, he'll be dead when you finish," said Vimes
"You have a better idea ?" asked Fredson
"Much better. SERGEANT DETRITUS !"
The troll, who was lifting sections of wall and had almost smashed others watchmen by throwing them away behind his shoulder, looked back.
"Rorschach is under this pile and only you can lift all this."
Eager to repair his mistake, he bent towards the mound and lift it, the masked heroes, Rincewind and Vimes moved away as rocks and other stuff were falling.
They could see an unconscious Rorschach covered with dust and, most alarming, red stains, his right arm trapped under a beam that the troll took away from him quickly, under the beam was the vigilante's arm, clutching someone else's arm, well, more precisely let's say the arm was the only part of the other body that remained intact, the rest of the body was now little red pieces.
"Shit, it's the dealer who trapped us with the troll !" exclaimed Fredson
"He already had this face when you saw him ?" asked Vimes
"No, it wasn't that... flat. Idiot, I told him to go out when I made the troll leave, I told him, but no, he had to get in again and catch this guy !"
"And he didn't released him when everything fell on him," observed. "Impressive, even if it's a sign of madness. Detritus, the wounded are not to be moved, it's too dangerous, go and bring Igor with you, now !"
"And hurry, his pulse is weak, really weak," added the Phantasm who had just bent over Rorschach with the others and was taking his pulse.
Vimes joined them after Detritus left.
"He's quite strong, normally he shouldn't have survived this."
"The mask, the scarf... Look !" exclaimed Fredson
The normally white scarf was indeed getting redder and redder, the same for the lower part of the mask.
Igor arrived with Detritus with Detritus right at this moment.
"So, here ith the wounded ? Mothe away from him pleathe."
Igor knelt besides the mask and looked at him attentively.
"I thee, internal bleeding, vhy didn't you take off thif thing before he suffocate ?" said Igor as he took off the mask, revealing the face covered with blood and bruises of a red-head. The young heroes and Rincewind had briefly thought about telling him that Rorschach would be furious if his mask was taken off, but it appeared that the only option to not make him furious would be let the mask on a corpse.
"He'f quite a mess, right arm broken, lots of brokers ribs, facial bones broken too. And a lot of bruises, the liver has been pierced, he'll need a new one, luckily for him I got a good one from my great grand-dad, good as new ! Could have been much worse, a miracle he's still alive and has nothing else broken."
"He lives in the Univerfity, right ? So let'f get him at their infirmary. And I'll need my fpare organf and infstruments there."
"How long will he stay there ?" asked Fredson
"For a while, but don't worry he will recover."
"I don't want to tell him that," said Rincewind
"I beg your pardon ?"
"I don't want to tell him he's going to stay into the University for quite some time," repeated the wizard. "I say that now because I know my colleagues will say something like why not send Rincewind to announce him that ? They get on pretty well after all."
Igor shrugged, which was a rather strange thing to see since his shoulders weren't exactly at the same level, then he ordered two agents to put the wounded on a stretcher, after he put a piece of fabric to hide his face on the advice of the wizard and the vigilantes, and they bring him to the University, followed by Rincewind.
·][·
Fredson was going back home crossing the Shades, like the others he was worry about Rorschach but was mostly stunned to discover there was actually a face under that mask. This may seem stupid but the young vigilantes got used to the idea that the mask was his face and could hardly imagine there were eyes, nose, mouth and everything a face is made of under.
He noticed two men talking with a third who gave them money for a little bag he quickly hid in his coat before disappearing. Goddammit, dealers again ! He knew crime never sleeps but couldn't he at least take a nap sometimes ? He decided to go on as if he hadn't seen anything, he had been fed up with dealers for a while that night and he will have to work soon. But he had not even walked one meter when he heard a little annoying voice under his head: "that's not what Rorschach would do." After a little think, Fredson decided to arrest this guy, which didn't keep him from wondering why the hell he was doing that , He was alone, Rorschach will not even know, that was stupid, but for some reason he didn't want to disappoint him in any way, and well It was Octeday today, that's not as if he had to work.
He overcame easily the two dealers and after tying them up and put his card, he suddenly felt something warm behind him, heard a cry, he looked back: there was a man with a hand slightly burnt and a dagger at his feet: the bastard had almost stab him in the back and he didn't see it coming ? He really needed to sleep.
"Stop whining ! They'll take care of you in prison ! By the way, who did that to you ?"
"I did it."
Fredson looked at the one who talked: he was a teen in a dirty yellow leather suit with a little smiling face drawn on the chest, a dark violet hood and a mask of he same color, he had in his arms a little swamp dragon, which had still smoke coming out of his nose, still pointed on the dealer like a crossbow.
"You're Fredson, right ? Nice to meet you. Why are you alone ? I thought you masks were working in group."
"We just get separated since the night has ended. It's still smoking, you're not afraid it could explode ?" said the young mask stepping back
"Don't worry, with the food I give him he can't. I would be honored to join you, but I guess I have to ask Rorschach, is your leader, right ?"
He had never claimed any title like that but since he was the eldest and gave the orders Fredson decided it could be said that way.
"Yes, but you will ask him later. He had an accident this night and will not be with us for quite some time."
"Ah."
"But I'm sure he wouldn't mind to see you in the group. What's your name by the way ?"
"Dragon."
"Obvious," said Fredson looking at the little swamp dragon. "You can join us tomorrow night if you want, the meeting-point is..."
And he muttered it to him.
"Thank you Fredson, see you tomorrow."
·][·
A red-head man looking almost like the kings of Djelibeybi with all his bandages was in the infirmary and his right arm was plastered, on the plaster could be read: "get well soon" (5) woke up and the first thing he saw was... a rock !
It reminded him of the building when everything fell apart as he finally caught the scum. Where was he by the way ? He looked down and noticed he was in a bed.
"What the..."
"Good morning Mr Rorschach," said the rock
He sat up with difficulty and saw a troll, he thought for a minute it was the junkie troll that almost beat him so hard until he noticed the troll in question wore a breast-plate which must had been made for an elephant judging from the size: the troll from the City Watch, what was his name again ? He knew the name reminded him of New-York. Oh yes, Detritus.
"Detritus ? What are you doing here ?"
"Come to apologize."
"For the smack ? Too late," snapped the wounded as the troll was reaching down for something. "What are you doing with this rock ? Hey, put it down !"
The troll held a big rick above Rorschach's head, the vigilante, who didn't want to go again through what he lived in the warehouse, tried to get up, but instead of running has he expected he fell on the roof, the blanket fell on him accidentally as he tried to cling to it, as the rock fell on the bed as Vimes rushed into the room.
"Detritus ! Stop !"
He looked at the broken bed with the big rock on, noticing there were fortunately nothing looking like a splashed human body.
Then he saw a hand wrapped up in bandages grabbing a corner, Vimes headed towards the hand and quickly grabbed it to help the mummified man to pick himself up, which visibly didn't pleased him.
"Could have done that myself."
"Are you alright ? I know it's a stupid question but that's the tradition."
"I'm fine," he grumbled while all his body was saying "I'm in pain, just sit, don't stood like that you idiot !", he mentally ordered it to shut up: if he had listen to his body's complaining he wouldn't have last long in the hero business.
"What did I do to the troll ? That's the second time one tries to kill me," asked the red-head looking daggers at Detritus
"Cultural misunderstanding, the trolls apologize by hitting the insulted one on the head with a big rock, they just forget we're not as strong as they are."
"He's strong for a human, commissioner. After all he received on the head because of me I don't think it would have killed him."
"Hang on. The building fell on me because of him ? How ? Thought it was an earthquake !"
"It wasn't, it was the Piecemaker."
"The what ?"
Vimes showed him the monstrous reconverted siege crossbow feared in all Ankh-Morpork.
"So, he really wanted to shoot me ?"
"No, he just wanted to destroy the building, it's the slab, the sergeant really hates drugs, and he didn't know you were still inside. By the way, he got you out of there."
"Hurm. Apologies accepted, not the rock," said Rorschach to the troll, who had suddenly gone higher in his estimation: someone who hated drug so much that he was willing to destroy an entire dealers' building couldn't be a bad person.
"The dealer, what happened to him ?"
"Dead. You were still holding him when discovered, it's been hard to make you lose your grip."
"Good," then he didn't spoke for a second, realizing something important: "my face !"
Why did it take him so long to realize he hadn't his face on ? The shock on the head probably.
"Only I, the kids, and Detritus of course, saw it. No one else know or will know about it, I swear. We had to take it off, you were bleeding under that thing."
"Where it is ?" he asked nervously
"I don't know, we gave it the wizards."
Just as Vimes was speaking, Ridcully entered into the room, saying in his usual soft and melodious voice:
"Finally awoken ? You're really unlucky with trolls from what I see my friend ! Hello commander Vimes !"
"Well, I think we'll leave you. Get well soon, Rorschach."
Then Vimes and the troll exited, leaving Rorschach alone with the Archchancelor.
"My face ? My clothes ?" repeated the mummified vigilante wearing just an undershirt and underpants. "And who undressed me ? Don't tell me it's this Mrs Whitlow," he added
"No, you've been undressed by the Igor of the Watch, he's been the one who mummified you when they brought you here with the bag on your head. Oh, he also gave you a new liver."
Igor ? Still unpleasant having been undressed and brought in the infirmary a second time, but this time he had not been completely undressed and a man did it, or at least a creature of the male gender since he was in Ankh-Morpork. Wait, a new liver ?
A nurse entered and yelled almost as loud as Ridcully did, pointing at Rorschach, since she looked a lot like his former landlady, Mrs Shairp, he was waiting her to say "You're late on the rent, Kovacs !", but instead she screamed:
"What is the patient doing out of his bed ?" she ran closer to him. "You must keep bed ! You hear me ?"
"You mean this bed ?" said Rorschach pointing at the broken bed whit the big rock still on it.
"How did this happen ?" gasped the nurse
"Just a troll Mrs Sharp," said Ridcully
The nurse grumbled and opened a camp-bed, then turned towards the wounded to say authoritatively:
"Get in ! You must keep bed, and for a good while !"
"No."
"Listen, you're in pain, so you must keep bed."
"I'm fine."
"Oh, you mean it doesn't hurt if I do this ?" said the nurse putting a finger on the man's bandaged right leg
"OW ! No..." he answered, cursing himself for letting her know how it hurt.
"Amazing you've stood on your legs all that time, the Igor told me they were both covered with a lot of bruises and flesh-wounds, but not a single broken bone, quite a miracle. Now sit down."
"Fine like this," grumbled the red-head
"You'll sit anyway, you won't stood like it that long," shrugged the nurse
"You'll see. Don't want to stay here any longer anyway. Scums outside who need to be punished."
"No way you leave the University before you've fully recovered,"said the lady
"You're a wizard, Archchancelor, can't you just heal me by magic ? Would be out soon."
"Sorry my friend, but I strongly advise you not to rely on magic for that, besides our last healing-spells' specialist died a long time ago, trying to heal himself."
"Hurm. You're telling me you can teleport a man from an universe to another but can't cure injuries ?"
"It's not the same."
He sighed then turned towards the nurse.
"My clothes and mask ? Where are they ?"
"You mean these awfully dirty rags ? I gave them to Mrs Whitlow so that she clean it. You don't seem happy with it, do you ?"
"Not happy with it" was an euphemism to describe the face Rorschach when he heard that now that. She gave his belongings to this whore ? He decided that Mrs Shairp's double was definitely worse than the original.
"Just great. I'm stuck in there, my face and uniform have been taken again, the kids are alone fighting crime..."
"Talking about the kids, they came to see you while you were still unconscious. Oh yes, they told you not to worry, they 'll keep fighting crime and come to see you."
"... Oh, good. I hardly see how it could be worst !"
Stibbons just opened the door...
"Hello Rorschach, glad to see you awake. Since you're going to stay with us for quite some time I would like to ask you a few questions, mind if we began now... Hey !"
"Leave my patient alone ! He need some rest !" boomed the bossy nurse pushing Stibbons out of the room.
Maybe he had misjudged her, she wasn't that bad.
·][·
Rorschach's Journal, Century of the Anchovy
Good news: drug-dealers arrested, survived a troll-attack and confirmation that the youngsters are quite competent for their age, especially Fredson.
Bad news: got many broken bones and a plastered arm, stuck into the University until healed, stupid wizards refused to heal me by magic, said it's too risky, what's the use of their magic then ? Mask and clothes washed by Mrs Whitlow again. Good point: this time she didn't undress me, nor touched me at all, and they left me wife-beater and underpants, not some stupid dress.
Tried to leave the room, but fell off. Stupid wounded leg.
Heard the youngsters have decided to keep fighting crime, hope they're doing well.
·][·
The day after, he was sat in a new bed, reading The Times, more especially a new invention in it: the stories-made of little-pictures-with texts-in-a-bubble (6), better known as "comics" in his world.
It was the first time he saw something
"Rorschach and friends extraordinary adventures issue 1: The Ogre of the Shades" he could read. Who had invented such a dumb title ? And the rest was as terrible as the title.
First, the drawing: since when was he as tall and strong as Grey Wolf ? And the cartoonist had done the same with the other masks, as for the Phantasm, well let's say that in the real she would fall with the... female assets the cartoonist had made her. He also drew them in ridiculous fight scenes with a lot of BANG ! POUM ! SMACK !
And if only the drawing was bad, but the story was crap too with stupid dialogs: they even had him say things he would never say like "Surrender evildoer !"
How humiliating, looking at these pictures he almost missed the unjustified reputation of psychopathic and criminal serial-killer that most of the newspapers gave him in New York.
These, he read the name of the scenarist and cartoonist, Moorton and Gibbs will pay for it when he's out.
"Hey !"
He lowered the newspaper: nobody, he looked around him but still saw no one.
"Lower, biped !"
"Gaspode ? What are you doing here ?"
"Just hanging around while Fredson is working, day-job you know and I've decided to come here, keep company with you."
"Don't need company. Go away."
"You know how hard it's been for me with my age, my arthritis and my little legs to come here ? No to mention the shrub with tentacle that almost caught
"What do you complain about ? You didn't have to come in the first place."
"You're really an insensitive bastard, ain't you ?"
Gaspode was about to leave when he smelled something delicious on a table near the door, he raised his head and had a vision of heaven.
"Wow ! Are you gonna eat all that ? I can help you, you know ? Can I ?"
"After that, you'll leave ?"
"Yes."
"Then eat all you want."
There was indeed too much to eat for Rorschach, but too little for a wizard, indeed the meals served on the infirmary were prepared for wizards, which means it one meal could have fed a whole family in the Shades for a week.
"Hmm... steak, it's been so long since the last time I ate one. I had almost forgotten how it tastes. Oh, stuffed chicken !"
"You have news from the kids ?"
"They're fine and keep patrolling. Don't worry," answered the dog after eating half a chicken
"Hello Rorschach."
Oh no, thought the vigilante as he recognized Stibbons who had just entered.
"Can I ask you a few questions about... AOW ! My foot !"
He left the room running quite fast for a man who had just been bitten by Gaspode.
"Next time you'll think a little before walking on my tail, you idiot ! When I was eating on top of it. I am stuffed yes, but that's not a reason. You'll be happy now biped, I'm leaving."
"Gaspode ?"
"What ?"
"Come back anytime you want."
Then he left, wondering if the weird human was serious, maybe the shock on his head drove him crazy. He wasn't that nice usually.
(1) Gaspode alludes here to the events of the Fifth Elephant, a Discworld novel about the Watch adventures in Uberwald. For those who haven't read it yet I advise you to do it, it's one of the best Discworld novel second me
(2) A childhood fear reactivated by the drug: he was very afraid of a scarecrow when he was young and a part of him still want to settle a score with the object of his fear, and Rincewind looked a little like the scarecrow in question.
(3) He had read once a umpteenth copy that the Omnians had left in front of his door, he began to use it, as usual, as toilet tissue. One night, he leaf through it, just cause he couldn't sleep and had not enough ingredients to do experiments, it was incredibly incoherent and repetitive, however it turned out to be better than any sleeping pills to sleep.
(4) Alchemists indeed to earn more money to pay the bills and stuff, because if they rely on the philosopher's stone for that they could whistle for it, used their skills in others fields, especially medicine, where they were better than those who officially did it, and their prices were lower. It's true that the apothecaries of the guild asked very high rate but they had a recovery rate of 100%, they indeed consider their dead patients as cured since the evil died with them.
(5) It's a cosmic law: everywhere in the multiverse, if anyone gets plastered, there will always be "get well soon" or other crap written on the plaster.
(6) The one who named this stuff had as much imagination at naming things as Leonard of Quirm
Sorry for the Uberwaldian accent of Igor, I don't how it sounds in English, only in French, so I did my best.
Please tell me if you liked it or not and sorry again for posting that late.