I Remember

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of Sonny With A Chance.

Couple: Sonny/Tawni

Rating: T

Authors Note: Decided to add at least a second part and probably a third or fourth as well. :) Stuck with the same theme as the first; another Kelly Clarkson song because I love her and I hate writing song fics with only one chapter having a song. Plus she is Kelly Clarkson and honestly has songs perfect for EVERYTHING! Haha. Hope y'all like!

For All I Know

For all I know, you could be near,

And every breath I take, you could feel.

For all I know, you're just a thought that crossed my mind,

What I wouldn't give to live that thought of mine…

It had not been as difficult as she would have thought to find the blonde's household. She had assumed that it would have been hidden from the public due to her fame, which it was, yet it seemed that all of their other friends from the show had been informed of where she lived. Did it hurt Sonny to know that she was the only one left out in the dark? Of course it did but it honestly did not surprise her.

The brunette was more than grateful that they had shared the address with her when she told them she wanted to fix things between her ex-best-friend. They all seemed hesitant and warned her over and over that the diva had changed a lot with fame and she should not get her hopes up. Still, she felt the need to patch up old wounds and maybe fix her own broken heart in the process.

Chad had told her that it was a stupid idea. This decision partially fueled by his own selfishness because she would be missing the premier for his new movie in order to fly to New York City and partially genuine concern. She had lied to her husband and over the years it had practically eaten her alive.

Sonny Munroe was not a liar but she could not tell him the truth, she refused to admit the truth to anyone even herself. The story she had told him was close to the truth and kept in the vaguest of details. Simply the brunette had told the young man that they had gotten in an argument and she left never to talk to her again, so of course he assumed it was more on Tawni's shoulders to fix than his wife's.

Now after the battle with her husband and interrogation of her friends for information she stood at her destination. The porch of a beautiful building in New York City, the building in which the blonde lived.

For nearly a half an hour she had been pacing on the porch debating if she should turn around and head back to the airport or if she should actually follow through with this. Years of doubting and thinking and missing the blonde had brought her to the realization that it had been love. That she had been in love with Tawni.

Now here she stood. Ready to prove her love for the blonde. Heart pounding against her ribs, breathing heavy and uneven, she forced herself to reach out and press the call button beside the door to request entrance.

For all I know nothing's changed,

Nothing ever will if I don't leave this place.

For all I know, you're waiting for me to whisper your name,

What I wouldn't give to kiss your sweet face…

"Tawni Hart please?" She questioned hesitantly.

"This is her." The blonde stated from the other end of the intercom. Her voice definitely had not changed, and just hearing it made Sonny's stomach churn and the urge to vomit to arise.

Swallowing the saliva building in her mouth she let out a loud breath and tried to calm her nerves and shaking body as she forced herself to speak. "It's Sonny."

"Sonny?" She questioned with obvious spite on her tongue.

"Yes, Sonny Munroe. I was your best friend and I know that you remember me Tawni." The diva had to remember her right? They had been on the same show for over a year and had grown to be so close, hell they had even slept together. This was definitely a blow to her pride as she was starting to realize that maybe she was not as special to Tawni as the blonde was to her. Maybe she was not worth remembering while for her it had been difficult to even go an hour without memories resurfacing.

"I know who you are Sonny; I just don't know that I want to see you…" Now her voice shook a little. Was it nervousness? Was she scared of what could happen? This gave the brunette hope and her large brown eyes lit up. She was going to fix this.

"Please Tawn, please. I need to see you. I've spent far too many nights without you in my life. Please let me apologize and fix this?" Her voice was practically pleading and tears were surfacing in her eyes as she begged for the chance to make things better.

Silence on both ends seemed to last for far longer than she could handle before finally the blonde responded. "Fine. I'm unlocking the gate, see you in a few."

Cause all I know is I need you here…

And all I have, I would give away so I could say this dear.

When her eyes landed on the blonde her jaw practically dropped. She looked amazing, straight out of a magazine, everything about her screamed New York City. She wore a beautiful dress, very tall and gorgeous heels, and her blonde hair was even longer than it had been before flowing over her shoulders.

"Are you coming?" Tawni questioned from the door of her place obvious agitation and impatience in her voice, that beautiful voice that Sonny had missed more than anything.

Shaking her head to clear the impure thoughts that had run through her mind at seeing a very mature looking version of the friend that she had once held dear to her she responded. "Yeah, sorry." The brunette apologized quickly a large grin spreading across her face, one that she had not shown in so many years. Even if the blonde was being inconsiderate it made her happy to be in her presence.

As she ran toward the door she could not help but realize just how childish she still dressed. She had not grown up like Tawni had. Currently she was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a long shirt with a belt wrapped around her waist much like she had used to dress. She looked for the most part exactly the same. The only thing that had really changed over the years was her personality. Since she lost the woman she loved and decided it was best to settle for the young man who was simple to love she had lost her optimism.

The diva held the door open for Sonny which was not something the young woman was accustomed too; she rarely did nice things for anyone when they were on the set. "Uh thanks." She blushed a bit then glanced away as she entered the beautiful building. Tawni merely shrugged in response still wearing a scowl.

All I feel, Oh I tried so hard to not feel…

It's killing me.

For all I know, you forgot me…

For all I know, you're different, completely…

And everything we had was never what I thought it was,

But for all I know, oh it was love.

"What are you doing here?" Tawni asked, she did not offer for the brunette to sit down, she did not offer any pleasantries simply got straight to the point.

Startled by the abrupt question brown eyes widened and Sonny glanced down to her feet blushing a bit and biting nervously on her bottom lip. She had thought this over every night for the last few years, she had it all planned out exactly what she would say if she ever got the chance to talk to the blonde again and now she could not find her voice. "Um, is it bad? That I uh came I mean?" She questioned.

Letting out a loud frustrated grown the blonde diva threw her hands into the air and started to pace in front of the very awkward and uncomfortable looking woman. "Yes! No! I don't know! Gah! Sonny I never thought I was going to see you again, but some stupid part of me thought you would chase me and find me, then I found out you married that self-serving ass Chad and I figured you were happy! I never thought you would show up here." Finally her voice died out and tears filled her blue eyes. Something that was very rare to see, a tear, rolled down her perfect tanned cheek.

"I'm sorry! Okay! I was stupid Tawni, so stupid! I made the worst mistake ever letting you leave but you made me decide so quickly and I didn't feel ready for people to see me that way."

"What way Sonny? As a lesbian? Well don't worry they all see you as far from that now that you have "Channy" to hide behind." The blonde practically spat these words angrily as she turned away to hide her tears crossing her arms across her chest.

"I know I was hiding! I was scared to feel what I felt for you, I was so scared that I ran away! But this entire time I have not gone a night without thinking about you…" Walking over to Tawni she gently reached around her back wrapping her in an awkward embrace due to the taller of the two being in the front. Still Sonny rested her head on the blondes back in hopes to stop her from crying, tears falling from her own eyes.

"Sonny, I'm not the same girl I used to be. You can't just waltz into my life and expect me to be that girl." She practically choked on her shame as she spoke the words.

"I don't expect you to be Tawni it has been so long, but maybe we can be better…" She stated quietly only hearing sobs in return from the blonde. "Turn around and look at me please? We can talk about this…"

Now everyone has a name,

And every face always somehow looks the same.

I always feel so alone, especially when it rains,

For all I know, you feel the same….

Now both girls were sitting on the couch in an uncomfortable silence, Sonny tapping her foot nervously as Tawni picked away at her perfect nails. Neither knew what to say, it was as if there was too much for them to say that nothing sounded right in their heads. After all of these years they had so much to catch up on that it seemed impossible to actually catch up at all.

"So…"

"So… how are you and your husband?" The blonde mumbled bitterly.

Brown eyes widened and Sonny chewed on the inside of her cheek, she did not know how to answer the question. Deciding to stick with honesty she shrugged her shoulders and let out a sigh falling back into the cushions of the couch. "Honestly… not very good Tawni. I think about you all of the time, I cannot be physical with him, I can hardly stand to kiss him. I cry myself to sleep every night."

"Oh." Was the simple response it actually made the brunette grow anger, how could she admit all of that and only receive that?

"Oh?" Her voice shook with agitation.

"Well what do you want me to say Sonny? That I have been thinking about you constantly? That I still love you? That I haven't moved on or had sex with any other girls?"

Tears again started to well up in her eyes as she stared at the blonde she had been thinking about nonstop for years. For whatever reason she had been hoping to hear any of those things, all of those things, and it seemed that would not be happening. For all of these years she had not moved on she loved Tawni and she wanted to be with her more than anything, she would give up her husband do anything. Now the tears were falling freely. "Yeah I want to hear you say any of those things!"

"Well, I can't Sonny… Maybe I do think of you from time to time, and maybe I am not in a relationship. Maybe I sleep with girls in order to forget you and I put myself into business in order not to think of you, but I have moved on. I don't want to hurt you or Chad, I am not who I was." Tawni again whispered toward the end obviously ashamed of who she had become.

"I don't care who you are Tawni, I love you! I want to be with you!" Tears continued to fall as she moved closer to the blonde and looked deep into her eyes. The diva's breath caught in her throat at the closeness and blue blurry eyes stared back into brown.

"I love you too… I always will… but Sonny—" She started but was cut off when lips pressed against her own.

The kiss was intense, passionate, and full of so many emotions that both girls started to cry even harder as they kissed each other. It was perfect and all of those feelings that were there years prior were still there. Just as the blonde reached up to run manicured nails against Sonny's cheek there was a creek of the door and then the voice of a woman.

"Um… I heard you work fast, but damn."

Glancing up Sonny noticed that there was a woman standing beside the couch dressed in only her panties, chest bare. Blushing brightly she looked away and quickly stood to her feet.

Yeah, I didn't know that I need you here…

All I had, I gave away cause I was still afraid to feel…

Tawni's eyes filled with fear when her sexcapade of the night before had made her way into the living room disrupting the kiss between her first and only love. She had certainly had sex since Sonny a lot of sex actually, but it was mostly in some desperate search for someone to fill that emptiness. Just like how she used her work. She never really felt alone, just empty, she was happy in life and with what she had built.

"Sonny…" She mumbled out as she moved from the couch to place a hand on the brunette's shaking arm.

Staring up from beneath dark bangs eyes full of tears. "No! Tawni! No I was so stupid to think that you would just wait around for me to come find you…" Her voice was shaking but it was not angry. "I am such an idiot…"

"Sonny, I am so sorry…"

"No" She actually laughed. "Don't apologize Tawni, none of this is your fault, I had my chance with you and I threw it away like it was nothing… But Tawni I never stopped loving you." She whispered her voice shaking as she turned and headed for the door no longer feeling that she had made the right decision. She felt like a moron for trying to do this after all of these years while she had a husband.

"Sonny, wait!"

For all I know.

S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C

Authors Note: Hope y'all like it. Well my only reviewer at least haha. Please review! Love you guys and your support! Sorry I have been missing in action for my SWAC fics, but I should be adding to a few today so yay! I think this song was perfect for this chapter... oh added an additional bath scene to 8:45 so "Check it out" hehe.

-Tracy Cook