I Remember

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of Sonny With A Chance.

Couple: Sonny/Tawni

Rating: T

Authors Note: Used another Kelly song, making it a trend. :) I think that her songs were perfectly for this story :) But I may be biased haha.

After The Love

She had spent the last five hours trying to explain to Chad why she needed a divorce and it still was not registering, more than likely that was because she was too afraid to tell him the exact reason. All that she could seem to muster the courage to say was that she did not love him anymore, which he countered with are you seeing someone else, why, and who do you love now? None of which she knew how to answer.

"Sonny, you cannot tell me that you just went to see Tawni and came back knowing you don't love me anymore." His voice raised and cracked as tears rolled down his cheeks, he did not want to lose the woman he loved for so long. The woman that made his life have meaning and the woman who actually stood by him no matter how selfish he was at times.

Glancing down at her hands brown eyes seemed to search her fingers for the answers to his questions, for a way to tell him without hurting him. Nothing seemed to be the right thing to say. "Actually it wasn't just the trip; I have been feeling this way for a long time."

"How long?" His voice shook as tears rolled over his lips.

"Too long." Was her soft response as she continued to stare at her fingers trying to ignore the way that he took in a breath and held onto his chest as if his heart were shattering like a bowling ball through glass. She tried to ignore it but she couldn't and tears rolled down from her tired brown eyes, it hurt her knowing how badly she had broken him. Knowing that she had lead him on for all of these years for her image and what people would think of her, knowing that she had made him believe she was always in love with him when she was in love with Tawni Hart the entire time.

"How long?" He repeated obviously not happy with the response that he got in return for his question, he wanted an exact date.

Taking in a breath she held it for a moment before letting it out. Sonny knew that she had to be honest with him, she had to tell him the truth about everything, that in order for her to be happy she would have to be selfish and hurt one of the closest people to her. "Since the day that me and Tawni got in that fight."

"But Sonny that was before we even got married how could you—" Blue eyes filled with sudden realization as he practically screamed. "You weren't in love with me when you married me? You have never been in love with me!" Tears now freefalling from his eyes.

"I'm sorry Chad." She whispered softly.

"Sorry isn't going to bring all of these wasted years back Sonny! Sorry isn't going to un-break my fucking heart! Sorry isn't going to do anything! Sorry is just a word, just a pathetic little word! How could you do this to me?" He screeched out, wheezing hysterically as she sat down on their bed. The bed in which they had made love on multiple occasions. The bed in which she had told him a hundred times or more that she truly loved him more than anything, the bed that was apparently made of lies that he would have to forever sleep in.

"Who is it Sonny? All these years who have you been in love with?" He asked his tone suddenly turning from frantic and upset to calm and monotone, angry.

My Tired eyes are begging for release, For Sleep,

I always seem to want the one who's just a little Out of Reach…

My Love, you are,

The best friend that I'll ever have.

"Wh-what do you mean?" She stuttered out through her sobs and tears. Knowing exactly what he had meant by the question.

"I mean if all of these years you have been married to me you haven't loved me, then who have you loved Sonny? Who have you loved that you have been so ashamed to tell everyone about? Who have you loved for all of these years that you suddenly realized after visiting Tawni—" Chad suddenly understood everything as his blue eyes widened in shock. All of these years, since the fight with Tawni, she had never loved him. She had loved Tawni.

"Tawni?" He asked with a shake in his voice as he dared her to tell him otherwise.

All that Sonny could do was cast her brown eyes downward in shame as her tears continued to fall, she knew that she was being selfish hurting him like this. But she had been hurting so long without the woman that she loved in her life that she had no other choice. It was cruel, evil maybe, and she would never forgive herself but she could not hide it anymore. "I'm sorry Chad." Pausing she glanced up to meet his eyes with brown before saying in a raspy and squeaky strained voice. "I'm in love with her. I will always be in love with her."

"All these years?"

"Yes…"

The sun will come up, Cover my eyes,

Over my head afraid of the light,

What can you say to not hurt someone?

After the love is gone.

No longer able to control his anger he stood to his feet and started toward his wife who cringed in fear of what he would do. Though Sonny never thought that Chad was capable of actually physically harming her, she wouldn't blame him if he did or if he wanted to. She had been a horrible person and she deserved to be hated by everyone for it, her mother, her friends, and most definitely her husband who was now glaring into her eyes with cold blues.

"When you looked into my eyes did you see her in them?" He screamed in her face, spit flying from his lips and landing on her face. The brunette woman twitched but she did not pull away.

"Every single time." She said honestly. Her voice only coming out a whisper.

Tears started to fall from his eyes again as his anger dissolved and his body felt as if it were made out of jelly, reaching out he held himself up by placing hands on Sonny's shoulders moving to rest his forehead against hers. He didn't want to hurt her; he didn't want to say anything to hurt the sensitive and sweet woman. She had probably given up everything just to make everyone else happy, still, he could not help but be angry with her and he absolutely hated Tawni.

"When you kissed me did you wish it was her? Her and those stupid coco-moco-coco stained lips?" He growled out, his lips only inches away from hers.

"Chad I—"

"Answer the question!" He shouted in a shaky voice as tears rolled down his eyes and into his open mouth, he tasted their bitter saltiness and it was almost fitting considering how bitter he was. How much he hated everything right now. Everything except for Sonny, he would always love her. Always.

"Everytime." She squeaked out. Her breath hot against his ear and lips.

As much as Chad wanted nothing more than to pull the woman he loved against him kissing her passionately he knew that he would have to let her go. She would only be imagining it was Tawni when he kissed her, she had just admitted that every single time they had kissed that was the case. Yet he still wanted her, he still loved her. "So if I kissed you right now then." He paused letting his words linger along with his lips which were hovering above her lips.

"Yes, I would wish it was her."

"Then you're right we do need a divorce."

"Chad I—" She started reaching out trying to pull him in for a hug. Trying to pull him closer for any kind of contact. All Sonny wanted was to show the young man that she truly did care and love him, but quickly he slapped her hands away and turned toward the door starting out it.

"The time for talking's over Sonny." He quoted himself. One of the lines from Mackenzie Falls, one of the lines that she had interrupted on multiple occasions when she stormed onto the set upset with the selfish dramatic actor. Sonny had not even known he remembered that day, how important it had been to their friendship and their relationship. "Goodbye Sonny, I'll have my lawyers call you." With this he smiled that charming smile, tears glistening in shining blue eyes before closing the door behind her.

Once he was gone she found herself curling up on the bed in a ball crying furiously. She had expected this to be difficult, tragic even, but it had completely broken her heart and she knew that there was only one redeeming factor. With that thought she lifted her phone and started to dial the number she had memorized.

His lips try not to tremble when he speaks,

My tired breath falls so heavy on his cheek.

But I'll never know just what I have, Unless I leave.

Here in the end, I hope that I'm not just running again.

Feel this pain, it's really possible.

"I told him." She whispered into the phone in a deep and husky voice as her tired brown eyes started to close. Hearing the smile in Tawni's voice actually brought a small one to her own lips as she thought over what she had done guiltily.

"I know Tawni, I will head out there first thing tomorrow." She smiled snuggling against the pillow wishing it were the blonde. After hearing the woman on the other end of the phone tell her she wished she was there tonight, she knew that she was doing the right thing. Yes, she had hurt Chad and it tore her apart knowing that, but she smiled genuinely knowing that she would get to hold the woman that she loved in her arms soon. "I wish I was coming tonight too. I know.." Laughing she added "The pillow will just have to keep me company tonight."

Then the blonde said the words she had been hoping to hear again for so many years, she said that she loved her. A bright smile spread across Sonny's face as her heart leapt and everything was worth it, every single tear and shout, because she had the one person that she had always loved. And that person loved her back. Truly loved her back. "I love you too." She nearly choked out through the tears.

"Yeah, I'm crying." Laughing she added. "Good tears, no scratch that great tears!"

"Well, I should probably let you go." Hearing the whining from the blonde on the other side she smiled gently. "I know I want to hear your voice too, but the faster we get to sleep the faster we get to see each other."

"I know right."

"I love you too Tawni."

What can you say to not hurt someone,

After the love is gone?

S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C

Authors Note: Hope y'all like it! I love when you guys review! I know that this story isn't my most popular… but I enjoy writing it a lot so I am adding another chapter!

-Tracy Cook