Chapter 04
Quistis couldn't go anywhere in Garden without people staring at her, or pointing and laughing. It seemed like only the Trepies that were still in Garden bothered to argue with people making catty remarks about her, but even their protests were starting to sound feeble. Normally, Squall was the person she spent the most time with, but now he was the only one she even talked to at all. She'd even shied away from Zell, Rinoa, Selphie, Irvine and Xu. She'd locked herself in her room for days, too humiliated to show her face. When Seifer had called her in concern, she'd started sobbing so hard that she had to hang up on him.
"Why did you sleep with him?" Squall had asked her one day, sitting on the floor beside her bed.
Quistis was curled up on the bed in a baggy pair of flannel pyjamas, her hair lank around her shoulders, clinging to a stuffed Mr. Ultros - a cartoon purple octopus from a children's program popular when they'd been kids. She could smell alcohol on him like an aura.
"What do you mean, why?" She'd snapped, voice shaking tearfully. "Because I was lonely!"
All she'd wanted was some companionship, someone to show her some desire instead of thinking of her as big-sister Quisty. What was so wrong with that? And, why had Evan done that to her?! Had he planned it right from the start? She felt so dirty and used. People she'd thought of as casual friends were now looking at her like she was some whore, and it was hard to not follow suit and start thinking it about herself.
Today was the first day she'd actually left her room in a while, and with each step, she just wanted to turn tail and hide back under her covers with Mr. Ultros. The hushed laughter from some of the people she passed sounded like bombs, and aggravated the migraine that had been growing behind her eyes since she'd first laid eyes on the Dollet Enquirer.
"Hey, Quistis!"
"WHAT?" She snarled, whirling around. She didn't want to fucking hear how she was a big, cum-hungry slut. She didn't want to have someone make lewd propositions to her. She didn't want to have anyone else ask her if she was fucking Squall, too. "Oh, Nida..." She flushed. "Uh... sorry," she mumbled into her chest, finding it hard to meet his eyes.
"How... how are you... feeling?" He asked. "I guess that's a stupid question," he added under his breath.
"Awful," she admitted, still looking down at her shoes. "See you later." She started to walk past him, but Nida reached out and gently gripped her arm.
"Quistis, wait..."
"Better be careful," she muttered, still not looking up. "If you touch me, you might get a venereal disease."
Nida made a pained face. "Don't tell me you're listening to that bullshit."
"It's hard not to, especially even when your friends look like they're starting to believe it."
"They don't believe it. I don't. That guy probably planned it from the start, or he realized how much money he could make if he sold to the right place."
"What does it matter? The end result is still the same. Everyone thinks I'm just some whore now."
"You aren't." Nida gripped her shoulders and shook them. The fierceness in his tone made her finally look up into his eyes. "And, you shouldn't ever say that." He pulled her a little closer. "And, I don't think that."
Quistis had to purse her lips to hide that they were starting to tremble. "Please don't." She tore her arms out of his grip. "What about Xu?"
Nida groaned. "Quistis... I don't care about her. Not like that, anyway."
"But, she cares about you." Her face crumpled when Nida's hand reached up and brushed a lock of hair off her cheek. It was still damp from the first shower she'd had in days. "Please, don't."
"Quisty..." He murmured. "I really care about you." He released her arms, but still kept standing close to her. "I just want you to know that." He gave her a small smile that was very tight and sad. He ran a hand down her arm, and then parted from her, leaving Quistis standing in the hall, feeling more alone than if she'd just stayed in her room with her stuffed animal.
She started shuffling back the way she came. This had been such a bad idea. She should have just stayed in her room. Some male student whistled at her and shouted a derogatory comment, which made her eyes sting and burn. She couldn't help but look up for the source, and saw Xu standing in the archway of a bisecting hall, holding a folder in her hands, her face like a statue. She was flanked by her assistants - one male SeeD by the name of Astor who'd graduated the same year as she and Quistis. He was very tall and thin as a rail, and was a magic specialist. His dagger weapons were mostly just for show. The other was a female SeeD named Luchia who'd graduated three years before them. She had coppery red hair and an angular face that made her look very stern. Her cobalt blue eyes were cold like ice. She used an electrified staff as a weapon, and was quite good with explosives.
"Quistis," she called, a business-like bark. "I wanted to talk with you about the Berrhaven case." She gestured for Astor and Luchia to stay where they were.
"Oh..." She trailed off. Xu's demeanour was pure winter. Quistis realized that Xu must have seen her and Nida talking. "Xu, listen... about me and Nida, it wasn't..."
"The autopsy reports came back," Xu said sharply, as if Quistis hadn't spoken at all. "The bullet that killed him was a standard military issue. There are no fibres on him, aside from the girl's. He'd been dead for possibly an hour before you and Squall found him."
"Is the girl okay?" Quistis asked, Xu a blurry mass of colour because of all the tears in her eyes. "Cathie?"
Xu cocked her head and looked at Quistis. She truly looked awful, and Xu's coldness melted. "She'll be fine," she said more gently. "She's been released from the hospital, and she'd be back to normal after some therapy. Look, I... Quisty, I'm sorry. I saw you with Nida..."
"And, you thought I was trying to seduce him because I'm a big slut." There was no sarcasm in her voice. The way Quistis said it... she was really starting to believe it about herself.
"I guess I'm just upset, you know... since he said no to a date with me."
"I'm sorry." The apology was addressed to Quistis's boots. "I'm I'm going to go back to my room. Thanks for letting me know about Cathie, Xu."
"Oh, Quisty, wait...!" Xu called, but her friend paid no attention.
---
"Are you sure that won't be too heavy?" Seifer asked as he checked a list of supplies he and Raijin were going to need. They'd decided to team up for term projects. Seifer was going to Centra to study the behaviour of indigenous reptiles in their natural habitats - particularly tonberrys, while Raijin was going to film the process, documentary-style. "Especially if you're trying to haul ass away from a nesting Ruby Dragon?"
"Huh?" Raijin murmured, distracted by the newspaper. "Stupid cops," he muttered under his breath.
"Are you sure it won't be too heavy?" Seifer repeated, tapping his pen on the paper in growing annoyance.
"What are we paying for?" Raijin questioned from behind the paper.
"Our... coffee and muffins...?" Seifer answered, really not sure what Raijin was asking exactly.
"I mean the police, ya know?!" The big man snapped the paper. "Can't they do anything right? No wonder crime around here is so brutal. They can't catch a serial rapist, ya know?! They can't stop all those counterfeit gil from circulating. The meth-heads are worse than ever! They can't even find a giant satchel of diamonds, even though it's obviously that Zimmer guy who's behind the whole thing! Ooh, PuPu!" He started reading the PuPu the alien comic strip that was featured in the paper daily.
"Oh, right..." Seifer trailed off. He didn't have to bother hiding any guilt on his face because Raijin was still very immersed in the newspaper. It wasn't guilt over killing some diamond smuggler that ate away at Seifer. It was that he was lying to Raijin and Fujin about his life, and the whole truth behind it. There was no way he could ever tell them that the Solar System was in fact, real, and that he was Jupiter. They probably wouldn't even believe him, and if they didn't know anything, nobody could try to get information out of them.
Seifer had been approached a few months after leaving Garden, piss broke and getting desperate. A man he only knew as Pluto had given him a card with a telephone number on it, and that was the first time he'd ever talked to Sol. Part of Seifer couldn't believe that he would get involved in this whole thing, that he would actually agree to make money from killing people. But, he also felt that it was the only thing he could do with his life. He felt trapped by his time with Ultimecia, and that she had tarnished him forever, so this was a natural career choice for someone like him. Later, he'd come to also meet Eris, women who served the same purpose at Pluto - the dwarf planets, Sol's messengers. His whole zoology career was just a ruse to hide what he was really doing. Studying animals gave him a good excuse to travel around if the need should arise, and schooling was something he could ditch for a few days if he got a job from Sol, and nobody would really notice his absence.
As soon as Squall and Quistis mentioned that Berrhaven had been assassinated, he knew it had been the Solar System, though he'd personally had nothing to do with it. But, there were seven other assassins under Sol's command. Assassins who went by codenames like Saturn, Mercury or Gaia. Assassins he would never meet. Uranus could be sitting in this coffee shop right now, right beside Jupiter, and neither would ever know.
Raijin looked up from the paper, and saw that Seifer had gotten noticeably quiet and thoughtful. "You're thinking about Squall, aren't you?" He asked, sighing.
"Huh?" Seifer re-focused his peridot green eyes and looked at his friend. "Oh, yeah... I guess..." He lied. But, now that Raijin mentioned Squall's name, it was impossible for Seifer not to think about him. He knew it was wrong to flirt with Squall over the phone, and to accept his none-too-subtle advances, but he just didn't have that much willpower. Maybe if it were any other man, Seifer could have tried a little harder to resist. But, Squall... well, it was Squall. The only person who ever really understood him. Even though neither of them could understand themselves.
"I'm sure you were too busy imagining him undressed, but did you notice how much he drank, ya know?"
Seifer cocked his head. "I did."
"Seems kinda weird, ya know?! The gossip magazines said he made a big fool out of himself at the SeeD graduation ball."
Seifer leaned back in his chair and pursed his lips. "Squall isn't the kind of person who can handle fame very well."
"You should just leave well enough alone."
"I know, I know," Seifer muttered into his coffee.
"You should stop thinking with your dick, ya know?!" Raijin chided gently.
"More like I should stop thinking with my heart," the tall blonde sulked.
"You're too fucking romantic for your own good."
"Shut up."
"It's one of your best qualities, ya know?!"
"And worst, too?" Seifer asked rhetorically, sipping his coffee. It was starting to get cold, and Raijin was becoming a total lost cause, now absorbed in reading the comic strips.
"Psst, Seifer!" A classmate hissed from a nearby table to get his attention. He started pointing to the door. Seifer's scarred brow contracted in confusion and he turned to look what the guy was pointing at. His whole body froze when he saw Evan Phaighn standing near the doorway, chatting with some people. Since the article about him and Quistis got published, he hadn't shown his face in class. Seifer had gone actively looking for him a couple of times, but he'd gone into hiding. He most certainly got some kind of handsome reward for the photographs, so didn't really need school. Seifer hadn't expected to see him in a place so close to campus, but perhaps the desire to brag was just too great.
Someone near Evan elbowed him, and everyone in the café went still when Seifer rose from his chair. The sound of it clattering to the floor was deafening since nobody was even daring to breathe. Many of the faces looking between Seifer and Evan were full of eagerness. They wanted to see Ultimecia's Knight unleash the temper that had made him so notorious.
"Oh, hi Seifer..." Evan trailed off as the blonde weaved through people, shoving them out of the way as necessary. Even immediately bolted out the door, and Seifer started running after him, nearly knocking down an onlooker in the process. Evan was quite tall and had a long stride, but Seifer was trained for this kind of thing, and was a very fast runner. It didn't take long for him to catch up to Evan, and he tackled him to the grassy surface of a nearby hill. His fists immediately started making contact with any part of Evan's body he could find. People were milling around them in a loose semi-circle and chanting, while others gasped in dismay at the sound of two of Evan's ribs snapping.
"Stop!" Raijin shouted, getting his burly arms around Seifer from behind, using all his considerable strength to drag his friend off Evan, who was sobbing in pain from the broken ribs, and what also looked like a dislocated wrist. "STOP IT!" Raijin yelled when Seifer lunged at Evan again. He got between the two men, and grabbed the front of Seifer's shirt, shaking him hard enough to nearly give him whiplash. "You want to get arrested, ya know?!"
Seifer yanked himself out of Raijin's grasp, huffing loudly through his nose, glaring daggers at Evan, who'd curled up into a ball, cradling his wrist against his chest. There was blood smeared all across his face from a nosebleed, and one of his eyes was already puffing shut. He stormed off, being careful to kick Evan as he walked past, a perfect image of towering, cold fury. Quite a few of Seifer's classmates would often forget what he'd done during his period under Ultimecia's influence, but in a moment like this, it was easy to remember the young man who'd commanded the Galbadian army to destroy his former home and kill anyone in their path.
Raijin looked down at Evan as if to help him, but just threw his hands up and went after Seifer, some people making disappointed noises that the fight was over so quickly. "What the fuck were you thinking?" Raijin asked once he'd caught up with Seifer. He gripped his friend's shoulders and forced him to stop walking.
Seifer slapped Raijin's hands away, still livid. "What do you mean 'what was I thinking'?" He hissed. "I was thinking about Quistis!"
"I care about her too, but she would not approve of this. Especially not after you've worked so hard to start your life over."
Seifer barked out a humourless laugh. If only Raijin knew the hilarity of what he'd just said. "That fucker ruined her reputation."
"And, this isn't going to help fix it, ya know?!"
Seifer could only mutter angry obscenities under his breath. "I don't need a fucking voice of reason right now, all right?" He ran shaking fingers through his closely buzzed hair and stormed off, leaving Raijin standing alone, shaking his head.
---
Squall's heart leapt in his throat when Seifer actually answered the phone, rather than letting it go to his voice mail.
"This really is bordering on stalking, Squall."
"So, you have been avoiding me." Squall glared at a noisy seagull nearby. Of course, this did nothing to quiet the bird as its pals squawked along with it. He was sitting in a quiet café on Balamb's harbour with Zell and Irvine. They were there for a late lunch, so it was mostly deserted. Zell was across the patio, chatting with someone he knew from town who was commenting on his new, rather dramatic mohawk, and Irvine was on his phone, standing near the edge of the dock, as engrossed in his conversation as Squall was in his own.
"Most people would take the hint and stop calling," Seifer muttered waspishly.
"I just wanted to make sure you... were... okay..." Squall trailed off awkwardly.
"What did I say about you saying couple-y things to me?"
"Well, are you?" Squall asked, ignoring Seifer's venom. "Where are you, anyway?" The background sounded a lot windier than an apartment or library should have been.
"Galbadian desert. Just been driving around on my bike for the last couple of days," Seifer admitted. He was on a lonely road not far from the old Galbadian missile base, leaning against his motorcycle. "There's lots of interesting reptiles around here, so it's a good distraction." That was partly true. There were lots of snakes in the desert, and they were all equally fascinating, but he'd also gotten a visit from Eris for a job in Deling City to kill some woman. Seifer didn't know the details. It would have made it harder to kill her. He could only make the educated guess that her husband had wanted her out of the way for some reason or another.
"Are you being thrown out of school?"
"No. Evan's not pressing charges, surprisingly. But, people are starting to treat me like a pariah again. Nothing out here cares that I used to work for Ultimecia. But, at least it kicked Quistis out of the papers, eh? She should be pleased."
Seifer was being crucified in the media. Even the reputable papers had editorials wondering if he was safe to be around his fellow University of Dollet students. They brought up his past disciplinary record within Garden, and the things he'd done while under the Sorceress's command. They stopped just short of calling him a war criminal. And, the tabloids were much worse. Printing vicious and vile stories, attacking everything from his expulsion from Garden, to his orphan status and homosexuality.
"She's pretty angry with you, actually. She thinks it was stupid of you to ruin your reputation when hers was already ruined beyond repair."
"Yeah, that sounds like a Quisty pity party." Seifer watched a lizard sunning himself on a big, flat rock, forked tongue coming out to taste the air for the scent of prey.
"She has a right to feel sorry for herself. Things aren't great here."
"She should get angry."
"Yes, because that's worked out so well for you so far."
"It always fails when you try to be funny. Besides, my reputation was already shit anyway, so tell her she shouldn't worry. I'm used to ruining my life. What about her, though? I know Garden would think of this whole mess as a black eye on their reputation." His tone became rather scathing, as it often did when he talked about Garden.
"So far, Cid hasn't mentioned anything. To either of us."
"Yeah... you can't stay out of the tabloids yourself, there."
"...Whatever. Though, I guess you really beat the shit out of him."
"Are you turned on?" Seifer asked incredulously.
"I dunno," Squall mumbled. "As long as it's not me, maybe"
"Stop," Seifer said, voice no longer playful. "Just. Stop. I can't fucking deal with this, Squall. I don't need you teasing me on top of all my other problems. I'm the one that's being treated like a criminal, and Evan's some kind of fucking martyr victim. But, that doesn't matter because I'm Ultimecia's Knight. I'm a raving psychopath, and I don't deserve a second chance. Yeah, I know I fucked up. I fucked up royal, but I am sorry. And, I am trying."
"I don't mean to tease you," Squall answered. "It's just..."
"Yeah. Whatever, Squall," interrupted the other man. "I wish I had your problems. You try to make yourself more complex than you actually are. At least you don't get spit on just for walking into a class you're taking."
"You don't need to lash out at me."
Squall's tone was pretty emotionless, but Seifer knew him well enough to hear the irritated undercurrent.
"Gee, I wonder why I could ever want to do that?" Seifer drawled sarcastically. "Since you give me more headaches than I really need right now."
"I'm just trying to be your friend."
"No, you aren't. Do you flirt with Zell or Irvine more than you talk to them? Have you ever made out with them? Are you stringing them along, giving them hope that there could be something between you?"
"I'm not--"
"Have you told Rinoa yet?" Seifer angrily interrupted.
Squall didn't answer.
"Fuck you."
"You're acting like an ass."
"Yeah, that's pretty typical for me, isn't it? I'm going to be in Centra for a couple of months, so don't bother trying to call me. And, even if you did, I wouldn't answer."
Squall opened his mouth to give some sort of angry response, but the line clicked, leaving him listening to dead air. He clenched his jaw and closed his phone, staring off into space and getting angrier and angrier. He'd been trying to reach out to Seifer because he knew what it felt like to have your name dragged through the mud on the cover of pretty much every paper in the world. And, what did he get? Loads of typical Seifer Almasy attitude and arrogance. Why did he ever think he could be attracted to him? He hadn't changed at all.
"Whoa, who were you talking to?" Irvine asked, coming back to the table, noting Squall's furious expression. His jaw was clenched so tight that Irvine thought all Squall's teeth would shatter at any moment.
"Who were you talking to?" Squall asked with a cocked eyebrow, his pouty mouth drawn in a thin, angry line. He was quite certain the other man hadn't been talking to Selphie.
"Touché." Irvine said no more on the subject. "How's Quisty doing?" He asked instead. "She won't let me see her, and I don't want to push, but I am worried."
"She's not great," Squall replied, still fuming.
"The guy got what was coming to him, though." Irvine chuckled, and checked out the waitress's ass as she came near their table. "I would have loved to have been there when Seifer kicked the shit out of him. I'm glad I've never been on the receiving end of that. Right, Zell?"
"Huh?" Zell asked when he came back to the table. "I make a point of never agreeing with someone off the bat."
"Oh, just talking about Seifer beating up that asshole that hurt Quistis, and I'm glad he never beat me up."
"I wish I could say the same," Zell muttered darkly, opening his menu.
"Can we not talk about him?" Squall snapped.
"Gladly!" Zell exclaimed cheerfully as the waitress came to take their drink order, which took longer than it should have with Irvine flirting with her the entire time. "I'm surprised you haven't been slapped with a sexual harassment suit," Zell muttered with an eye roll. But, his amusement was only half-hearted. Squall had ordered double scotch, and was already pulling a flask from within his jacket, a habit that was sadly becoming reflex.
"Squall..." Irvine began gently. "Don't you think you should get some help?"
He just glared at them in response.
"Garden will pay for any rehabilitation, Squall."
He just continued to glare at them with an iciness that would have made Shiva herself proud.
"We just want to help," Zell uttered quickly.
"Well, I don't need help," Squall replied, putting his flask away. "Because I don't have a problem."
"Squall..." Irvine began.
"Is this why you asked me to lunch?" Squall interrupted, his voice warming. It wasn't taking much for him to get angry at his friends, since he was already there from his conversation about Seifer. "To blindside me?" He just shook his head and rose from his chair.
"Wait!" Zell reached out and grabbed Squall's wrist in his strong grip. "Wait, okay? We're sorry. Just... stay."
It took a few moments, but Squall eventually slumped back down in his chair.
"So... how's Quisty doing...?" Zell wondered.
"I already asked that," Irvine murmured.
"Well, how was I supposed to know?"
"How do you think?" Squall asked tartly.
"Oh." Zell frowned deeply. "Do you think Cid is going to do anything...?"
"Who knows," Irvine murmured. "But, now that NORG's gone, they're a lot more relaxed about some of those conduct rules."
"He says authoritatively," Squall muttered.
Irvine and Zell blinked, frozen for a moment in the face of Squall being humorous. Even though they'd heard him crack jokes before, every time it seemed really strange and shocking. "Anyway..." Irvine continued. "Cid better not suspend Quistis for something like this. It wasn't her fault. Besides, she's allowed to have sex once in her life."
"Is that who you were talking to?" Zell asked conversationally to Squall, waving at someone. "Quisty?"
Squall grunted in response, Irvine's periwinkle eyes narrowing in deep thought as he studied Squall's face.
"So, I think it's over with Valeria," Zell muttered as the waitress brought their drinks over. He was referring to the girl who worked in the library.
"How come?" Irvine asked.
"Well, our first few dates were really awesome, but as we got to know each other, we just don't have any of the same interests. We only ever really talk about the library."
"So, you're breaking up?" Irvine asked.
"I think so."
"Can I ask her out?"
"What?!" Zell asked, brow contracting. "What about Selphie?"
Irvine just shrugged.
"You're a pig."
"You sound like Nida," said Irvine with a wink.
Squall watched them talked, but his mind was wrestling between thinking about Seifer, and thinking about Quistis. Quistis was so hard on herself that in this situation, she was her own worst enemy. Squall wondered if she would ever be able to get over. Maybe she would remain alone now, not letting anyone close for fear of something like this happening again. And, she was also denying herself happiness by not being with Nida because of her loyalty to Xu.
What about you? A tiny voice inside him asked.
Shut up, Squall replied internally. Okay, so we shared a couple of kisses, and they were incredible, and sex with him would probably be amazing, but he's a complete asshole. He's selfish and arrogant and doesn't care about anyone other than himself. And you came close to ruining your relationship with Rinoa because of it. Because of him?! Are you fucking serious? He's such a prick, and she's so sweet and kind and beautiful. You really are a moron, huh?
But, he does have a reason to be mad at you...
Shut up! He argued.
Squall just ignored his inner voices, and came back to the outside world to find both Zell and Irvine staring at him.
"What?"
"You've been staring off into space for, like... fifteen minutes," Zell answered. He gestured to the table, where Squall's pasta had already been placed, cooling rapidly.
"...oh." He started eating, only half-heartedly joining in on Zell and Irvine's conversation, which was mostly about women.
"You going to come back to Garden?" Zell asked when they'd finished their lunch and the cheque came. The waitress had undercharged them, thanks to Irvine's determined flirting.
"No, you go on ahead." Squall reached into his coat, and Zell was going to protest him drinking even more, but instead he was pulling out his cell phone. He gave an over-the-shoulder wave as Zell left. Irvine was still hanging around, talking the waitress, standing quite close to her and flirtatiously playing with the pendant she wore around her neck.
"Squall!" Rinoa greeted when she picked up the phone. "What's up?" She was sitting in Squall's dorm room on his bed, or rather their bed, reading some books about Sorcery that Edea let her borrow.
"Are you busy?"
"Not really." She tucked some highlighted hair behind her ears. "Why?"
"I was just wondering if you wanted to come into town. We could go to that historical costume exhibit you wanted to see at the museum."
"Really?" Rinoa asked eagerly, sitting up. "Why?" She asked, suddenly serious. "Are you sick?" She stopped short of asking how drunk he was, though she was kind of tempted.
"I just wanted to spend time with you. But, if you don't want to, that's okay. I'll see you later."
"Wait, wait!" She exclaimed. "You're teasing me, aren't you?"
"Maybe. But, you can accuse me all day until the museum closes, or you can come down here. I'm at the Tidal Café."
"I'll be there in half an hour!" She promised, hanging up the phone. "Angelo!" She called to her sleeping dog, who lazily opened an eye and glared at her mistress for waking her. "Angelo, come on. You have to go to the bathroom now." She urged Angelo outside to do her business, all atwitter. It wasn't often that Squall wanted to go on a date. And, it was even rarer that he would instigate one. "Hurry, hurry!" She bossed, Angelo barking in growing annoyance.
"Oh, now... Squall actually asked me on a date, so don't be like that. I'll bring you back some treats, okay?"
Angelo flopped down on her dog bed, looking up at Rinoa in a way that said if Rinoa didn't keep her promise, she'd be angry.
Squall sat at the café, waiting for his girlfriend and watching the ocean. Fishermen were out in their boats, hauling in their catches. He was still angry with Seifer and chastising himself for ever thinking that there might have been something beyond lustful curiosity. Like what? Love? Yeah, right. He was willing to ruin what he had with Rinoa for one fuck? He could only roll his eyes at himself.
He looked over to the small parking lot when he heard the squeal of tires. A cute little bright blue convertible pulled to a quick stop, a gift from Rinoa's father for her recent birthday. She came sailing out of the car, ran over to Squall, and threw herself in his arms.
"And, ten minutes to spare!" She chimed, holding out her wristwatch so Squall could see.
"Hyne, you weren't kidding." He gave her a small smile which melted her right into her sandals. He then leaned in and gave her a soft, lingering kiss on the lips. It further turned her into goo, but it also surprised her. Squall rarely kissed her in public.
"A date and a kiss in public?" Rinoa asked with a cocked eyebrow. "What's the catch?"
"I just wanted to spend some time with you," Squall answered, brushing away his internal feelings of guilt. He kissed her again, and took her hand as they started walking further into town.
She smiled widely and bit her lip from sheer happiness, briefly resting her chin on his shoulder so she could kiss his cheek and breathe in the smell of his cologne, which was sadly mingled with the undercurrent of alcohol. "I'm glad! I wish we had more time to do this stuff, what with you always on missions with Quistis..."
"It's my job," he murmured, picking up on a change of inflection in Rinoa's voice, even though it was minute. He leaned over and kissed her again.
"I'm still half-wondering if your body has been possessed by an alien or something. Oh, can we stop by the pet store, please? I promised Angelo I would get her some treats, since I kind of had to harass her out of a nap before I could leave."
"Fine." He watched Rinoa talk some more about her beloved dog, her words mingling with the ocean breeze. This was nice, spending time with her. She looked very pretty in a scoop-neck tee that was such a pale green it was almost white, and a tailored pair of black linen slacks. Her smile and laugh were infectious, and his hand felt warm where it was touching her skin. Not just because of her body heat or even her magic, but also because of her loving, kindly aura. He wished that he could be as content in his own body as she was in hers. The world wasn't some frightful place to her, and she wasn't shy about anything. And, if she was afraid, she took it in stride. She faced everything bravely, even when she was terrified. It was one of the many things he greatly admired about her, and also envied.
Rinoa looked over casually at Squall, and saw such a complex expression on his beautiful face that it made her story about Angelo die on her lips. "Squall?"
"Hmm?"
"You look so distant."
"...oh. Just thinking."
"About what?"
He shrugged. "Nothing, really."
Rinoa's brows contracted. "Honey tell me what you're thinking."
"I'm not thinking anything," he answered, more coolly than he'd intended.
"Squall..."
"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, stopping their slow walk to the museum so he could look into her warm eyes. "Really. Just... it wasn't anything profound, okay?"
"Even if it wasn't, I still would like to know what's on your mind. I want to know everything about you. Even the stupid, boring, everyday stuff!"
Squall just shrugged and kissed her again, though he wouldn't answer her question. Rinoa didn't want to start yet another argument, especially when things were so heavenly between them, so she kept quiet. She pursed her lips together so she could keep the ghostly memory of Squall's touch on them. One thing she was starting to realize, that someone like Seifer or Quistis already knew, was that Squall was a lot more sensitive than he made himself out to be. While she always wanted to get her feelings out in the open, Squall felt so deeply that he wanted to keep a lot of things to himself to avoid getting hurt. So, instead she leaned in close to him, and let some of her Sorcery flow up his arm in a gesture of love. Edea had been teaching her that a Sorceress's magic wasn't always about flashy spells and defeating evil-doers. It was about being magical in every aspect of your life, and that letting some of it flow out as emotional extensions was as natural as a smile or a laugh, or even a kiss. Rinoa hoped that Squall could feel her love for him in that buzz of magic, and that someday he would start to open up to her.
---
"Quistis? Please, may I come in?"
Quistis looked up, surprised to hear Cid's voice coming through the closed door to her office. She'd been hiding out in there, since everyone kept coming to her room, asking if she was okay. She was slumped at her desk with the lights out, trying not to think of the ruin her life had become.
"Quistis? I know you're in there."
"Come in," she called, voice cracking from misuse.
"Were you sitting here in the dark?" Cid asked, turning on the light.
Quistis blinked and squinted until her eyes adjusted.
"You weren't at any of the SeeD meetings..." Cid placed a folder on the desk between them. "Neither was Squall. I've picked out your new assignment personally."
"Assignment?" Quistis echoed as Cid sat down.
"You're still an active SeeD, and with a few retirements this year, we're short-handed, so even though I feel for your emotional situation, we need you."
"You're giving me a mission?" She asked, unable to wrap her brain around it. "But... aren't I suspended?"
"Suspended?" It was Cid's turn to be confused. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Why would you think that?"
"Because my conduct is against Garden regulations regarding the public reputation of SeeD and this school," she recited. She'd had to give that little speech to many a student during her short tenure as an Instructor.
"Those were NORG's guidelines more than they were mine." He cocked his head, his demeanour totally fatherly, and not that of Headmaster at all. "How could I suspend you when you're already suffering so much? Besides, I'm not completely old fashioned. I know you're an adult and have sexual urges..."
"Headmaster..." Quistis interrupted miserably.
"And, I'm going to stand up for you. Not only because I care about you, Quistis, but because I feel I should. I... I didn't stand up for you against NORG and his faculty when they fired you. Consider this my apology. Even though I'm not doing it just to apologize. I really believe you did nothing wrong, and I want everyone to know that."
"Headmaster..."
"Yes, I know. I'm rambling." Cid pushed his glasses up again. "Forgive me. Anyway, I couldn't get a hold of Squall, but Rinoa isn't around either, so I assume they're off together somewhere." His eyes twinkled, and Quistis tried to smile, but it came off as a pained grimace. "So, once you get in touch with him, I'd like the two of you to get going on this mission." He tapped the folder. "And, I still really want to talk to you both."
"About, Sir...?"
"You and Squall are the future faces of this Garden. I know I've said that many times, but I think you'd be perfect for Headmaster someday."
"Sir, I couldn't even last as an Instructor. I lacked leadership qualities. I'm a failure, remember?"
"That was NORG talking." Cid got up and started pacing. "I should have stood up to him! He wanted Instructors that would be towing his line, which is something you wouldn't do for anyone. And, you and Squall are what this Garden needs to remain strong for what the future brings..."
The room was filled with a heavy silence as both thought of Ultimecia. Quistis could often forget about her, or think of her that was something in the past, that they'd gotten through. But, that past was also the future, and Garden had to be ready for her, even generations ahead of time.
"So, take a look at the mission - it's in the Kashkabald Desert, by the way, and you and Squall can ship out in the morning." Cid pushed his glasses up his nose again. "Edea sends her love," he murmured before leaving her office. He shook his head sadly and made his way back to his office, stopping to chat with people along the way.
"Headmaster!"
He turned when he heard his name being called. "Oh, Xu. Hello."
She jogged up to him, carrying some paperwork in her arms, Luchia with her and carrying even more paperwork. "Sir, I need you to sign off on a few of these mission reports and contracts."
"Oh, can't that wait?" He asked, eyeing the large stack in her hands warily.
"Headmaster, you've been putting it off for days now," she chided gently. "It really needs to be done."
"Oh, all right."
"My office is closer, Sir." She gestured for Cid to follow her, Luchia walking slowly behind them.
"How does all this paperwork pile up?" Cid asked once in the office, reading over forms more quickly than he maybe should have, scribbling his signature on each of them.
"If you kept up on it, it wouldn't pile up," Xu pointed out.
"I suppose not." He sighed. "Xu, do you think Quistis is going to be okay? She looked awfully pale."
"She takes everything very personally, Sir."
"And, I worry about that. But, I think starting her down the administrative road will give her a much needed self-confidence boost."
"Administrative, Sir?"
"I still think Quistis and Squall need to be at the top of Garden's chain of command for us to be ready and strong enough for things to come."
"You... you're still thinking of making Quistis or Squall Headmaster? I thought that maybe I... would..." Xu asked quietly as Cid gave her pen back to her.
"Xu, you're good at the job you have now, and you're too invaluable to move. I'm thinking Quistis as Headmistress, and Squall acting as a tactical chief. He has great leadership skills, and is the most recognizable face Garden has. Not to mention the son of the President of Esthar."
"You think that's wise? Squall's got problems, and Quistis"
"Are you arguing against my idea, Xu?" Cid asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. "I thought you'd be... happy for Quistis?" His eyes narrowed as he looked into her dark brown eyes.
"I am!" Xu said quickly. "I am. I just wonder if the timing is right, what with all she's dealing with right now, and you can't argue that Squall hasn't done damage to his reputation with his alcohol abuse..."
"That's something I'm hoping to help him with, and now is the perfect time," Cid interrupted. "Oh, Xu... can you put together a list of the clients we're still looking for payment from? I have a benefactors meeting at the end of next week."
Xu nodded slowly as Cid exited her office, booming cheerfully to someone in the hallway, his voice still audible as a muffle after he closed the door. Her muscles were held so tensely that she was starting to tremble, and the plastic pen in her hand cracked in her tight fist.
"Xu!" Luchia exclaimed in her deadpan voice, pulling some tissues from the box on her boss's desk. "Your pen."
Xu blinked and looked down at her hand, which was now covered in black ink. It was dripping all over the forms that Cid just signed, and onto the carpet. "Damn!" She hissed as Luchia started to quickly mop at the mess.
"What now?" Luchia asked, her hands now also stained with ink.
"For now, go find Astor. I'll need you to help me redo all these contracts. I could barely get him to sign them the first time around, so the second should be as fun as a root canal," she muttered, tossing the ruined documents into the rubbish bin as Luchia simply nodded and made an exit.
Xu slumped behind her desk, looking at her blackened palms. It would take days for the ink to come out. There was a thin line of red welling up amongst the ink from where the rigid plastic of the pen's casing had cut her. Xu balled her hands and looked to the wall of her office where she'd hung her framed butterflies, and let out a long, defeated sigh.
---
Quistis squinted behind her goggles. Even though they were tinted to protect her eyes, the desert sun was still like a supernova. She could see a brief twinkle of light from across the dunes, Squall tilting his small mirror to signal her. She was laying on her stomach, half-buried in sand, propping her weight on her elbows and watching for any members of the Hrudalu tribe, the reason they'd been sent to this remote part of land between the Centran and Estharian continents. They were hired by the Ioam tribe, who were in a small yet vicious and fierce civil war with the Hrudalu. The Ioam had hired SeeD after the Hrudalu hired some ex-Galbadian and Estharian army mercenaries. There was no way for Quistis or Squall to know which side was the correct one, and they weren't being paid to wonder about it.
Quistis's vision was being obscured by the sand storm that had been blowing all morning. Her body was completely covered by cloth. She was hot, but at least she wasn't being exposed to the harsh sun or the pounding, stinging sand. Her hair was damp under the scarves and turban, but at night, she'd be glad for all the covering, because it was worse than a night in Trabia. She flashed her own mirror, signalling to Squall that there were no sightings. This was their sixth day fighting alongside the Ioam, and each day had brought gunfights and all-out magic battles. Technology in this part of the world was nil, so at least Quistis didn't have to worry about being spotted by any kind of aerial surveillance, thermal sensors or night vision. The contract with the Ioam was one of Cid's patented vague ones, where they were there until the war over this section of land had settled. But, at least it took Quistis's mind off her problems, which she was pretty sure was Cid's major design in giving this particular contract to her and Squall, and not another pair of SeeD.
She became distracted by a cactuar speeding along across the sand in its usual 'dance' pose, as Quistis liked to think of it. They were really interesting creatures to watch, except for when they spotted you. She and Squall spent time every night picking quills out of each other's skin. There were also many types of venomous snakes around that made Quistis wish Seifer were there to deal with them. She'd mentioned this to Squall, and he'd gone very quiet. She knew that Squall was spending most of his time thinking about the other man. After much prodding, Squall had told her about his argument with Seifer. After more prodding, and the fact that he was drunker than usual, he told her he felt guilty. Not only about his argument with Seifer, but about Rinoa. He felt guilty for lying to her, and guilty that the best times between them seemed to be born of his guilt, but he was afraid to tell her the truth because he didn't want to disappoint her, and everyone else.
She wondered if 'everyone else' actually meant Laguna. Squall didn't talk much about his father, at least not about how he felt about Laguna, and the whole situation in general. But, she liked to think that she knew Squall well, and that he really cared what Laguna thought of him.
She saw the flash of Squall's mirror again, and responded in kind that she didn't see anything. She stayed very still as that cactuar slid by again, its perpetually surprised face looking right at her. It stopped and hopped a little on one leg. "Oh, shit..." She trailed off, rolling out of the way as the cactuar shot a bunch of needles at her and then ran off, its squeaking noise sounding like laughter. She didn't quite make it, and had a bunch of needles embedded in her shoulder.
"Goddamn... little... bastard..." She hissed, yanking the needles out, biting her lip so she wouldn't yell loudly from the pain. She gasped when the air was suddenly filled with the sound of gunfire and magic. She saw a smoke cloud from fire magic to the west, and the glittering response of an ice spell. Quistis ran through the sand, calling forth her junctioned GF, Diablos. Bats swarmed around her, forming the black and red scaled body of the demon, who batted his wings and waited for her commands with complete familiarity.
Since they'd discovered that the GF really did cause memory loss, Garden, Dr. Odine, and the militaries of Esthar and Galbadia had been doing research into the matter, and had put forth guidelines for summoning the powerful creatures. Only one GF was allowed to be junctioned at a time, unless the circumstances were very extreme, and if at all possible, it should always be the same GF, to lessen the impact on the brain. There were also guidelines about how long the user could be junctioned to their GF, and breaks had to be taken after long periods of time. Garden had been working with all their SeeD in finding good, permanent matches between person and Guardian Force, and Quistis had settled on Diablos, whom she seemed to have a good rapport with. Squall had chosen Shiva rather quickly, which people kind of snickered at, both affectionately and not so much. No wonder the Ice Queen chose the Ice Queen, they'd murmur.
"This way," she told Diablos. "Towards the magic."
Diablos nodded once and took to the air, the beating of his great leathery wings displacing the sands. She started running, and felt the temperature of the air drop as Squall called Shiva.
"Squall!" She cried over the sound of wind and magic. "Squall?!"
He ran towards her, gunblade out. "It must be coming from the gully!" He shouted back, gesturing for Shiva to follow Diablos. She elegantly glided along the surface of the sand dunes, leaving trails of ice in her wake. She started running after the ice goddess, careful not to step on the icy patches. She could hear Squall running behind her, and checked over her shoulder a couple times for his position. She noticed, with a measure of worry, that he wasn't exactly stable on his feet. A member of the Hrudalu fired a thunder spell at her, and she threw herself to the side to avoid getting it full-force in the chest. She hit a patch of Shiva's ice, and slid. Squall fired a round from his gunblade, but his aim was off and missed. But, he followed up with a fire spell. Once he cast it, he started running towards the Hrudalu man, and sliced through him with his blade.
Quistis started moving ahead, watching Squall more carefully now. Was he drunk again? When they arrived at the gully, the fight was in full-swing. They both jumped right into the fray, Shiva and Diablos following their masters' examples. The Hrudalu didn't possess Guardian Forces, so they quickly became overmatched, though they were strong magically, and had a large cache of explosives, so the Ioam were suffering heavy losses. Quistis found herself surrounded by half a dozen of the opposing tribe, Diablos's heavy gravitational magic making it hard to breathe. She called upon her blue magic skills, and let electricity run from her body, contacting with all the Hrudalu circling her. She could feel bats flying all around her like a cylinder as Diablos came to help protect her. The ugly smell of burning flesh from the lightning filled her nostrils, and when the bats cleared, she saw Diablos before her, looking at her as if to make sure she wasn't hurt.
Quistis turned to see Squall and a number of the Ioam in fierce combat with the Hrudalu. Squall was doing most of the work, slicing through opponents and deflecting blows and spells with ease and grace, though she could see his feet stumbling, and the slowness of his motions since she knew him so well. Squall let loose with a fire spell, and hit two Hrudalu, but his aim was off, so he also hit one of their own men. She started to move towards them, cracking her whip, but Diablos suddenly exploded into bats, the bevy moving at lightning speed towards a dune ridge far ahead of them. "Shit," she cursed, seeing a wave of Hrudalu coming towards them in armoured vehicles. Even with their GF, this suddenly turned the tables. She ran to Squall, who was just finishing off the last enemy within their reach. She gestured to the trucks driving towards them, and mentally told Diablos to start laying down some magic to slow their progress.
"Ice up the sands around them," Squall commanded his GF.
"Looks like they've got gatling and machine guns mounted on each of them."
"We have to get in one," Squall said.
Quistis nodded. "Shiva and Diablos can cover us."
He nodded, adjusting his goggles as they started to run towards the trucks. Quistis had to roll out of the way to avoid getting filled with bullets from one of the machine guns, and she flung out some more electrical blue magic. The fork of lightning hit the armoured side of the truck, burning a giant crater in it. When more rounds were fired at her, she flung up a protect spell, and combated with Ultra Waves. The gunman grabbed the sides of his head, the sound frequency causing pain in his inner ears. In desperation to make it stop, he threw a grenade in Quistis's direction. She jumped out of the way when it exploded, feeling some bits of shrapnel digging into her legs. She kept casting magic at the truck so the gunman would continue to target her, giving Squall the chance to move to the other side. As she traded magical blows with the gunman, she also mentally commanded Diablos to use his Dark Messenger attack against the other vehicles, the rumbling of his magic felt through the ground like an earthquake.
Squall got around the back of the truck, but the driver knew he was there, so started spinning the vehicle around. But, the sand was hard to drive in, so the truck was sluggish. The gunman was distracted by Quistis, so Squall got a clear shot with the gun part of his weapon, and shot him in the back of the head. His body slumped against the machine gun, and Squall vaulted himself up, grabbing onto the frame of the back cage tight as the truck spun. He swung his leg up and pushed the gunman off the vehicle, grabbing the machine gun and spinning it towards the others. One was heavily encased in ice from Shiva's attacks, and he mentally commanded her to get out of the way. "QUISTIS!" He shouted over the noises of the battle. "Tell Diablos to get out of the way!"
She did so, limping towards the truck. Squall fired a few rounds through the back glass and killed the driver, sending the vehicle out of control. He crawled through the broken window, the shards of glass tearing at his layers of clothing, and he slammed his boot on the brakes. "Quisty, get the gun," he told her.
She cracked her whip and got it around the base of the gun, and used it to vault herself into the cage. Squall started driving, and she depressed the gun's triggers, feeling the vibration all through her body, spent shell casings raining down on her boots. She could feel blood dripping into them from where the shrapnel had injured her. She stumbled a few times, and her shots also went wide more than she wanted because of all the jostling. The sands made for highly difficult driving conditions, and because of Squall's probable intoxication. Quistis aimed at the other gunmen to get them out of the picture. She started aiming for the gas tank on the frozen truck, and when she hit it, the vehicle exploded into a giant cloud of fire and smoke. It knocked her back on her ass, and Squall had to duck within the cab as fire swept over them. She could feel the coolness of ice as Shiva floated over and put out the flames on their truck.
With the gunmen sniped out, it didn't take long for the Hrudalu to all be defeated. Quistis slumped against the gun's base, the lower parts of her robes now stained with blood. She heard the truck's door open as Squall got out. He jumped into the cab beside her. "Go help put out the rest of the fires, please," he told Shiva.
"You're injured," the ice queen pointed out to him, a long frozen finger pointing to his side.
Squall touched his hip, and his glove came back with blood. There was a piece of glass from the truck's back window embedded in his skin. "I'm fine," he told her.
Shiva took him at his word, jumping down from the truck, the ice that had formed around her stationary feet cracking. Bats screeched and formed a funnel, becoming Diablos as he perched on the roof of the truck, looking down at Quistis.
"Grenade shrapnel," she hissed through clenched teeth as Squall raised her robes to look at her legs. The fabric of her pants underneath was torn. He cast cure magic and flowed it into her skin to dull the pain. "How does it look?" She asked. She couldn't read Squall's face because it was completely covered by his scarves and goggles.
"It could have been worse," he answered. "You'll be fine."
She narrowed her eyes behind her goggles. "You're drunk, aren't you?" She asked, voice barely a whisper.
He didn't answer.
"I saw you accidentally hit one of the Ioam, Squall." Her whisper was now like iron.
"Collateral damage."
"Collateral damage?!" She hissed angrily. "That's what you call this level of unprofessionalism? Being drunk on such a serious mission? You could have killed more people! You could have died yourself!"
"I'm not..."
"Don't try to deny it," she muttered angrily, keeping her voice very low so the Ioam milling around and checking the condition of the vehicles wouldn't overhear. "You know..." She trailed off in bitter amusement. "Even when drunk, you're still the best SeeD I've ever seen."
"Quistis..."
The Ioam were talking to each other in their own language, one that neither SeeD could understand. One that spoke accented Estharian called to them. "Are you injured?" She asked.
"I got hit by some shrapnel," Quistis called back.
The Ioam started calling to some of her comrades, and a pair of them jumped into the truck's cage to help Quistis get back to camp.
"We should keep this truck," Quistis told the woman who spoke Estharian. "We can use it to get to the Hrudalu base. Maybe we can even get in, or close enough that we could fire a bomb into there."
"We can have it fixed up," the Ioam woman replied, grabbing Quistis under the arms.
"If something like this ever happens again, Squall," she murmured to him in Balambish as she was carried past. "I will report you."
---
"Look, I think we should just cut our losses," Selphie murmured. She and Irvine were sitting in Selphie's office, which was cluttered with paperwork and model trains. Her hands were folded in her lap, and her emerald green eyes were unusually serious. "It just won't work out, and I really don't want to lose you as a friend." She reached out and put her small hand around his wrist. "You just can't stay faithful."
Irvine opened his mouth to protest.
"At least, not at this point in your life."
He frowned. "I guess you're right. It's not that I don't..."
"You don't have to say it," Selphie interrupted. "I know you love me, and I love you, too. That's why this is best. I think you wanted to break it off before it got too serious too, but you were afraid of hurting me, right?"
Irvine gave her one, slow nod. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize," she argued sincerely. "Actually, I'm not mad at all. Maybe a little disappointed, but I'll get over it. Maybe faster than I should." She shrugged. "So, now you can feel free to be a sexual compulsive to your heart's content, and you don't have to pretend you're talking to nobody when you're having all those deep phone calls."
"Yeah..." He echoed hollowly. "You're incredible, you know that?"
"I do know that!" They smiled at each other, a mixture of friendship and sad disappointment on both their faces. Selphie looked away when there was a knock on her door. "Come in!"
"Hey, Selphie, what's up?" Zell asked, waving as he came in. "Oh, hey Irvine."
"Irvine and I just broke up."
"What?!" He exclaimed in typical Zell Dincht fashion. "Oh, holy Hyne! I'm so sorry, guys! I'll leave you two alone..."
"No, stay. It's fine," Irvine assured. "It was a mutual decision."
"Really?" Zell asked, still horrified. "God, seems like everyone is breaking up lately. Me and Valeria, you guys... I guess Squall and Rinoa are the only ones still together..." He trailed off, and they all sat in awkward silence for a moment. It was hard to ignore how much the two of them argued. "Do you think they will break up?" Zell asked, fidgeting as he always did.
"I dunno," Selphie replied. "Rinoa's really worried about Squall's drinking. I mean, we all are, obviously. But, she doesn't know if she can stay with him, and she thinks he's hiding something from her."
"You don't mean... Quisty, do you?" Zell asked.
"Come off it," Irvine scoffed, giving Zell a dark look. "Please, please don't tell me you're starting to believe that nonsense, Zell!"
"I didn't mean it like that," Zell mumbled into his chest.
"What else could he be hiding, though?" Selphie asked, picking up a model of Doomtrain that was on her desk. She smiled affectionately at it and started driving it up and down her legs like they were train tracks. Doomtrain was her permanent Guardian Force, and it was a running joke, even with Selphie herself, that she was secretly in love with it/him, and vice versa.
"He's not having an affair with Quistis, you guys." Irvine shook his head angrily. Because Irvine had a good eye for these sorts of things, he had an educated guess as to what Squall could be hiding, if anything, but he kept his theories silent.
Selphie looked up from her model train, which she was giving sound effects now, when there was another knock at the door. "Man, I'm popular today... It's open!" She shouted.
Xu's assistant Astor gently kicked the door open, his arms full with folders and inter-Garden envelopes. "Good, you guys are in here, too. Saves me a trip." With impressive dexterity, the thin man was able to extract the proper files from his teetering pile, and give each person one with their name on it. "Your next assignments," he informed.
"Oh, thanks man." Irvine tore open his envelope and started reading as Astor shuffled out of the room to make more deliveries.
"What the...?" Zell opened his folder and found it to be quite empty. He picked up the two lone papers and flipped them over, then shook them to see if the rest of the report was stuck to them. Then he shook the folder, as if the other sheets that should have been there would miraculously fall out.
Selphie crossed her fingers before she opened her folder. "Come on, blowing stuff up..." she pleaded.
"I'm going to go find the rest of my report," Zell announced as Selphie let out a big, loud, disappointed groan. He knocked on Xu's office door, and heard a faint "come in" from the other side.
"Hi, Xu!" He casually saluted her. "I'm kinda missing most of my mission report." He held up the folder. "Maybe you forgot to put the sheets in?"
"Oh!" She exclaimed, sniffling. "Hyne, I'm sorry, Zell." She started rifling through some papers on her desk, sniffing again. Zell noticed that her cheeks were wet, and her nose was red.
"Xu, are you okay?" He asked, full of concern. This was the first time he'd ever seen Xu show this kind of emotion. Normally, she was always quite professional.
"Yes," she answered, voice shaking. A few papers fluttered to the ground from her trembling hands.
"No, you're not." He crouched beside her desk and picked them up for her. "Did something happen?" He asked, staying crouched.
"Oh, Zell..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry to let you see me like this."
"Don't apologize!" He insisted quietly, looking into her almond-shaped brown eyes. "Is there... is there anything I can do? I'm a pretty good listener."
"I'm... oh, it's nothing."
"You can tell me," he urged, putting a friendly hand on her arm.
"It's Quistis."
"Did something happen to her?" He knew about her and Squall's mission in the Kashkabald.
"No, no!" She exclaimed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, but tears still came down. "Not that. I'm just so worried about her. It's like I don't even know her anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"She never talks to me anymore," Xu mumbled, her voice cracking. She nervously ran her fingers through her deep chocolate brown hair. "She only ever wants to talk to Squall, and they spend so much time together..."
"They are partners," Zell countered.
"I know, and I know they're good friends. I just wonder... is she mad at me because I like Nida? I know she likes him, but then I wonder if her feelings for Squall have come back? She keeps saying that she feels like his big sister, but I've seen the way they look at each other."
"What way?" Zell asked, worry gnawing inside him.
Xu stifled a sob. "I'm sorry."
"Don't..." He squeezed her arm, and stroked it in a comforting manner.
"I feel like such a bad friend for even saying this stuff out loud."
"You're worried about her. That's being a good friend, Xu."
She smiled through her tears, biting her lip because it was shaking. She put her hand over top of Zell's. It was very warm and strong. "Thanks," she whispered. "That's really sweet of you to say." The smile disappeared. "You know, I'm sorry about you and Valeria. I heard about your break-up."
Zell shrugged a powerful shoulder. "Don't worry about that now."
"There's something else..." Xu admitted after a few moments of silence, where Zell squeezed her hand and looked up at her with deep concern in his pale blue eyes. "I wonder if... maybe she's mad at me because of Cid?"
"Why, what did the Headmaster do?"
"He's been talking about retiring soon." She stood up and started pacing, folding her arms protectively across her chest.
"Yeah, to spend more time with Matron. I mean Edea," he corrected.
"Right." She took the tissue that Zell offered and wiped her nose and cheeks, but her body was still trembling as she held back sobs. "He's thinking of grooming me to take over."
"That's wonderful, Xu."
"Quisty doesn't think so. I think... she wants to take Cid's place. I know it's one of her ambitions in life, and I know that she wants to put Squall as some sort of commander. I heard her and Cid arguing about it. I just I don't know what's happened to her." She turned to face Zell, collapsing in tears. "I just don't know who she is anymore!"
"Shh, it's okay!" Zell exclaimed, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Please don't cry, Xu."
"I'm so sorry!" She warbled through her tears. She felt Zell's arms come around her in a hug, and rested her wet cheek against his shoulder for a few moments. "Oh! Oh, no! I got your shirt all wet." She pulled back and started wiping at the stain from her tears.
"It's okay. It's just salty water."
"Has she... said anything to you?"
Zell bit his lower lip. "She hasn't really talked to us much since that story came out in the Deling Enquirer."
"Me, either..."
"I think you should really talk to her about all this."
Xu nodded. "You're right. I know you are. I guess I just let all my emotions get bottled up until I couldn't handle it anymore." She wiped her eyes and nose, and straightened her shoulders. "It was really sweet of you to let me go insane on you like that."
"It's not insane," he assured, patting her arm. "Besides, I know a thing or two about flying off the handle. Believe me, you have a long way to go before you're in the stratosphere as me."
Xu couldn't help but laugh. "You're right. And, maybe I'm getting all worked up over nothing. Maybe she and Cid were arguing about something else. I mean, this Kashkabald mission isn't exactly an easy one. And, I guess I'm just disappointed about Nida."
"Quistis would never go out with him. She cares about your feelings too much."
Xu just nodded, and it seemed to Zell like she wasn't completely convinced. "Here's your papers," she muttered, handing them to him. "I guess my head just wasn't in paperwork-mode today."
"Don't worry about it. Hey, maybe you shouldn't be alone tonight. Do you want to have dinner with me, Selphie and Irvine?"
"Seems kind of like a double-date." She gasped in surprise when her phone started ringing from within one of the pockets of her SeeD uniform skirt. The caller ID said it was Luchia. "Oh, excuse me."
"Sure."
Xu cleared her throat before answering with a steady "yes?" She narrowed her eyes at what Luchia was telling her. "Okay. Yes. Take care of it." She snapped the phone shut and put it away again. "Sorry about that."
"Is everything okay?" He asked, curious.
"Oh, no... everything's fine. It was just Luchia. Anyway, you sure it wouldn't be too weird, tagging along on a double-date kinda thing with them?"
"It's not a date," assured Zell. "They just broke up."
"That's too bad. " She pursed her mouth. "Sure, why not? Better than just sitting in here all alone, feeling sorry for myself."
"Great!" He patted her shoulder. "I'll come get you around five, all right?"
She nodded as he took his papers and shoved them into the folder. He waved and left her standing in the middle of her office, her tears quickly drying on her cheeks.
---
Evan slumped in his chair, grimacing. Every breath was agony. He was currently in Deling City in a crummy diner, waiting for his lunch companion. His face was still bruised - the marks having settled into an ugly greenish yellow healing hue, and the swelling around his eye had only just begun to go down from where Seifer's fists had heavily contacted. He had a baseball cap pulled down low so people wouldn't notice him quite so much. But, in Deling City, one would have to be bleeding out on the sidewalk to really cause a second glance.
He looked up when the woman he was meeting sat down across from him at the small table, the surface gritty with the remnants of spilt sugar. She wore a white pantsuit with a black blouse underneath, pearl jewellery subtle yet elegant. She wore a white fedora with black trim, half-covering her face, much in the same way Evan was doing. Though, the effect for her was stunning, while Evan was sure he looked sketchy.
"Coffee," she told the waitress, who poured it into a chipped ceramic mug. She picked up a packet of sugar from the basket on the table, and poured some into the cup, nails manicured and painted white. She stared at Evan coldly, not speaking.
"I want more money."
"Oh?" She asked, electric blue eyes glittering in the shadow her fedora's brim cast. "The sum that was paid to you was quite generous, Mr. Phaighn. Especially for so enjoyable a task. There are plenty of men who would have sex with Ms. Trepe for free, let alone for substantial gil."
"I have medical bills now." He gestured to his face, wincing as he took in a large breath. It felt like a knife slipping between his still-healing ribs. "Look what that maniac did to me!" He hissed quietly.
"Didn't you think something like this would happen if you remained in the University area? Especially so near someone with Seifer Almasy's reputation?" She asked, taking another sip of coffee, leaving rosy lipstick impressions on the mug. "If you hadn't stayed around to boast about your conquest" She trailed off meaningfully.
"Well, if you won't pay for my medical bills, how about I go to the Enquirer with another story?" Evan asked rhetorically.
"Hmm, threats. You aren't scary enough to make them work."
"Quistis Trepe, set up by one of her own," Evan mused. "Garden backstabbing!" He gestured with his hands as he quoted possible headlines. "Don't think I don't know who you are, and who you work for. All SeeD are in the papers, no matter how second-class."
"How much more?" She asked, leaning in.
Evan grinned, also leaning in. His breath rustled her coppery hair. "One million gil. And, if it's not transferred to my account by the end of the day, I'll go to every newspaper in Galbadia."
"Fine," she answered, sitting back in her chair, picking up her chipped coffee mug once more. "By the end of the day." She raised her cup in a mock toast as Evan got up from the table. She didn't watch him leave, but continued to enjoy her mediocre cup of coffee.
Evan walked past the dirty picture window, and her eyes slid over to him. He saw her lips turn up in a smile, the first of their brief meeting. Then, he was hit with a flash of searing-hot magic, powerful enough that it incinerated him on the spot. Pedestrians nearby started screaming, the flash gone as quickly as it had come, leaving charred blackness behind in the shape of Evan's remains. Her icy face schooled into a mask of shock, mirroring the other diner patrons. She put a couple gil on the table for her coffee, and went out into the street, pretending to be horrified by the scene. Sirens were already beginning to fill the air as she crossed the street towards the subway station. She casually walked underground, her horrified mask now replaced by cold remoteness again.
"A bullet would have sufficed," she chided to a man who was standing at a newsstand, reading the sports section of that day's paper, a man as thin as a rail. If she'd touched his hand, she would have still felt the heat of fire.
"You need to be able to take a few pleasures out of your job, Luchia." Astor folded the paper under his arm and put two coins down on the counter. They walked together towards the platform, being swallowed into the crowd.