The cold air stung my tear stained face as I paced swiftly down the Manhattan street. How could this have happened? What am I saying, of course this happened! I was an idiot to think that flying spontaneously across the country was going to change anything. The signs had all been there, I'd just chosen to ignore them. He had become so distant towards the end, his mind always somewhere else.

I couldn't stop my mind from replaying the moment over and over like a film reel in my head. Henry, in his pristine grey suit, his white shirt accentuating his permanent, light tan, dark brown hair carefully sculpted with gel, his deep brown eyes staring into her blue ones. Her, Arizona. It surprised me how hurt I felt about this aspect in particular. Henry at least was understandable. I had had a relationship with him, of some sort. I loved him. Or at least I thought I did. But her, I could not explain. She was a stranger. I was straight. But the sight of smiling happily under his arm cut into me deeper than I would have ever expected. I cringed at the memory of his subtle sign of affection.

What was it about her? That she could hurt me more by being with him than he could hurt me by being with her. It made no sense. Then again, not much made sense these days.

I didn't want to go back to Addison's. If I was forced to torture myself with my thoughts, I'd rather not do so trapped by the confines of the indoors. I stopped walking upon reaching my subconscious destination, one of my favourite places in the world. The usually green trees had lost their leaves but they still stood, in all their glory, adding to the beauty of the picturesque Autumn scene. I let out a frustrated sigh, feeling instantly a little relief. Central Park. So beautiful.

I didn't walk far, sitting on a bench close to the entrance, staring aimlessly in front of me, I allowed the tears to finally escape and flow freely. I knew these tears were not so much for Henry, nor were they for Arizona, but for me. I had always been so sure of myself. Always thought I knew exactly who I was, where I was going and what to do. But she had changed it all. In two days she had taken my world and shaken it into a confused mess.

I had been briefly attracted to a girl in college. Her name was Erica. She wasn't the obvious kind of attractive, but she was strong and in control of her life and I found it hot. We made out a couple of times, went on one date, but there was no future there. She transferred shortly after and that was that. I put the whole experience down to the curiosity of youth and, until now, have not looked a girl in that way since.

But Arizona, there was just something about her, no, it wasn't just something, it was everything. She was perfect. I could see why Henry would want her. But right now, it's not Henry I'm hurting for. It's her.

As if on cue my phone buzzed loudly in my pocket, disturbing me from my thoughts of revelation. I removed it cautiously, almost afraid to see the sender.

[1 new message: Addison]

Mark wants to have some people over, welcome you to the city and whatnot. Tried telling him I thought it was a bad idea, but he's insisting. Could do you some good. Bring tequila. X

I smiled at my phone. I had stormed out of Macy's leaving Addison with no explanation and she just let me. She was perceptive, not a bad friend. She knew I needed to be alone and so did not follow. Although she knew I wasn't in the partying mood, she also knew that tonight was not the time to talk things through, so allowed Mark to go ahead with his shindig, refusing to let me wallow in self pity but still allowing me to drink myself into oblivion without any questioning eyes. I smiled to myself once again before removing myself from the bench in search of a liquor store.

The impromptu party was already in full swing when I arrived. Not a huge gathering, but a lot of unfamiliar faces. I moved deeper into the large room in search of Mark and Addison.

Spotted. Mark, with who was presumably his girlfriend, whispering sweet nothings on the large armchair in the corner. It was nice to see him so happy, and so not-manwhore-ish, I didn't want to intrude.

I continued making my way through the array of strangers until I stumbled upon Addison, sucking face with some random guy against the kitchen counter. I cleared my throat, catching their attention. Addison looked at me, a subtle shade of red invading her cheeks as she attempted to fix her hair.

"Hey." She greeted. "This is Alex Karev. Alex, this is Callie." She gestured between the two of us, taking a large gulp of her glass of wine.

"Nice to meet you." He said courteously, but without any enthusiasm, trying to regain Addison's attention. She dodged his advance, turning her attention back to me.

"Nice walk?" She enquired casually, pouring me a glass of red.

I accepted the glass graciously, mirroring her large gulp. "It was… insightful." I responded with a relaxed smile as the affects of the alcohol began to run through me.

Alex creeped up behind Addison again, encasing her in his arms and whispering something into her ear that made her cheeks blush to the colour of her hair.

"Alex!" she slapped him teasingly on the hand as Mark and his girlfriend entered the room.

"Oh great!" Mark's face lit up at the sight of me, pulling me by the arm. "Callie, I want you to meet Lexie."

She was small and very pretty with dark brown hair and eyes to match, a pleasantness about her. She smiled broadly.

"It is… so nice to finally meet you." She gushed.

"And you." I smiled politely back.

We engaged in brief small talk before Alex whispered, once again, into Addison's ear, this time she took the bait.

"If you'll excuse us." She apologised, leading him from the room by the hand.

"You girls wanna dance?" Mark nodded his head towards the make shift dance floor.

Lexie nodded enthusiastically, but I was no where near drunk enough to be in the mood for festivities just yet.

"You guys go." And they headed off.

"Oh! Callie?" Lexie shouted over the sound of the music. "Could you buzz April and Avery in please?"

"Who?" I called back.

"Just some friends of mine." She replied loudly.

I nodded in understanding and proceeded to let them in.

"Come on up." I spoke into the speaker then escaped to the quiet of the balcony.

I leaned against the cold metal of the railing that ran around the spacious terrace. The air was icy cold but the alcohol that was now beginning to take full effect and prevented me from feeling the blunt of it. I took another gulp of wine, savouring the flavour of this mouthful as I stared out over the city in wonder, suddenly everything didn't seem so bad. Fuck Henry. Fuck Arizona. Who needs um? I hope they're very happy together.

"Hi." Came a low husky voice from behind me.

I froze.

"Arizona?"

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