Thank you Lil Miss Golden Eyes - my fantabulous Beta
Go check out "Crooked Halo's and Ink Junkies" by ecandme...this woman is amazing and her story is so wonderful. I love her to no end!
I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed
Time flew by, one day seemingly melting into the next, and by the end of my fourth week in Forks, I had settled into a comfortable routine. Not being one who usually did well with the 'same shit, different day' mentality, I surprisingly found that the monotony of it didn't bother me in the least. A few times a week, Alice would come over after school and we would hang out for a few hours before Jasper would come to pick her up. On a few occasions, he even joined us and the three of us would watch movies or sit out back and bullshit.
Charlie seemed to have found his own routine as well. He would come home from work, eat, and then settle in front of the TV until he went to bed. On the weekends, he headed down to the Rez to fish or watch a game with Billy.
I hadn't seen or heard from Jake since we came home with the bikes, and I made a mental note to check on him. I figured with me back in town he would be up my ass, but he seemed to have just…disappeared.
Even things with Edward had settled down a bit. Though we still weren't on official speaking terms, we did talk occasionally. Mostly it involved him preaching to me about the dangers associated with motorcycles; dangers I was all too familiar with, and had the scars to prove. It didn't escape my notice that it was always my safety he was concerned with and not his sisters, though she continued to climb on the back, sans helmet.
I entered the cafeteria and quickly made my way through the line, grabbing a soda and a bagel, before heading to the long table filled with Jessica and her friends. I said my hellos and grabbed a book from my bag. Over the past few weeks, reading through lunch had become part of my new found 'routine', and the others at the table left me alone, only occasionally interrupting me to ask my opinion on something or to fill me in on the latest gossip.
Halfway through the period, a tingling sensation rolled up my spine and an uncomfortable heat settled at the base of my neck. It was a feeling I had been experiencing quite often lately; the feeling of being watched. I tried to ignore the awareness and continue reading, but when I realized that I had read and re-read the same sentence three times, I exhaled slowly, closed my book and turned around in my chair, quickly scanning the cafeteria for a source .
Across the lunchroom, at a table tucked into the farthest corner, the Cullens sat staring off into various directions. None of them seemed focused on anything in particular, except one. Rosalie. Her eyes were narrowed into thin slits as she openly glared in my direction. Her lips, painted cherry red, were drawn into a line as her pristinely manicured nails drummed against the table.
I narrowed my eyes and returned her glare. We sat like that, each trying to convey our own disdain for the other, for a few moments before Alice's head snapped up and she hit Rose's arm, then glanced at me and smiled apologetically. I rolled my eyes, turned back around in my chair, and returned to my book.
"Well it would seem that not all of the Cullens are your new BFFs huh?" Jessica remarked, not even attempting to hide the jealousy tainting her words.
"I swear, one of these days I'll slap her so fucking hard, it'll feel like she kissed a freight train," I answered, not bothering to look up from my book. Behind me, the sound of a tray slamming resounded through the cafeteria, and I could have sworn it had come from the direction of the Cullen's table, but I had no desire to turn around and confirm that. If anyone at that table would have made such a production, it would have been Rosalie, and there was no way the bitch could have heard my little threat.
"Oh, I would pay to see that!" Mike said, high fiving Tyler as he nodded his head in agreement. I tuned out the rest of their conversation and waited for the period to end.
Once in class, I settled into my seat next to Edward, giving him only a polite smile, which he returned. Banner waltzed into the room just as the bell rang, towing behind him an antiquated television set. He set it up, turned out the lights and settled behind his desk.
As soon as the lights went out, I became immediately aware of Edward's presence beside me. I could feel him. Literally feel him. Every cell in my body awoke and I clenched and unclenched my fists repeatedly as I battled the urge to reach out and touch him. The current pulling me towards him became so strong I could have sworn it would become tangible.
In an effort to control my rebelling body, I folded my arms across my chest and dug my fingernails into my palms. I heard Edward hiss next to me, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him mimic my position. Though all my brain seemed to focus on was the way the tendons of his forearms bulged from under the skin, causing the hard, taught lines of his biceps to become more defined.
The hour passed excruciatingly slow, and finally the film ended and the lights were switched back on. As soon as the darkness receded, so did the overwhelming electricity running between Edward and I.
I let out a shaky sigh of relief and unclenched my fists to inspect the damage.
"You drew blood," Edward said softly; so softly I had almost missed it.
"No shit. Besides the obvious…" I held out my palms to show him the small half moon shaped cuts. "I can smell it."
"Humans can't smell blood, Isabella."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Maybe you can't, but I can. It smells like rust…and salt." I grabbed a tissue from my bag and started cleaning the cuts. I saw Edward staring at me with a curious expression. Finally the bell rang, and without saying another word, he grabbed his books and disappeared out the door.
I made it through last period with only minor injuries and headed home, picking up my cell and dialing Jake. I tried his cell phone but it went straight to voicemail. Then I called the house, but Billy told me that he was out. Finally, when I got home, I sat down and wrote Jake an email, asking him to call me soon. I closed the laptop and headed downstairs to start on Charlie's dinner.
After the kitchen was cleaned up, I kissed Charlie goodnight and retreated to my room. Turning on my iPod, I relaxed back on the bed and got lost, yet again, in thoughts of Edward.
Teetering on the line between consciousness and unconsciousness, I felt a cool breeze blow across my neck. I rolled over towards the window. It was open just a crack, allowing the offending cold air to filter into the room. Refusing to get out of bed, I burrowed down deeper in the covers. Just as I started drifting towards the border again, a melodic humming sliced through the silence. I slowly opened my eyes and turned my body towards the sweet sound. In the corner of the room, cloaked in darkness, I made out a figure sitting on the rocking chair.
"Edward?" I whispered
"Bella."
"What are you doing?"
"Watching you sleep."
"How did you get in here?"
"The window," he answered softly.
"Oh… Why?" I asked, leaning up on my elbows.
A small sigh escaped his delicious mouth. "Because I find it peaceful….and because I can't force myself to stay away from you any longer."
He stood up from the rocking chair and walked to the side of the bed. He sat down on the edge smiling down at me. His scent mixed with the cold air, and I inhaled deeply allowing his heavenly smell to fill my lungs.
"What were you humming?"
"A lullaby." He reached out and gently began stroking my hair as my eyes fought to close. "Sleep my Bella," he whispered.
"Edward?"
"Yes, my love?"
"Will you hum to me until I fall asleep?"
"Of course."
I shifted to one side of the bed, allowing room for Edward to lie next to me. He positioned himself on the bed, leaned against the headboard and wrapped an arm around me. I snuggled in close to his body, draping one arm across his chest and laying my head in the crook of his arm. His body was cold and hard; like marble. A memory tugged at the corners of my subconscious but I ignored it.
He began humming softly and I felt sleep begin to overtake me. Before being pulled into unconsciousness, I leaned my face upwards and gently kissed the curve of his neck. "I love you, Edward," I whispered, just before the blackness claimed me.
I awoke the next morning with a start. I didn't even remember falling asleep. I sat up in bed and looked around. I was alone. I looked towards the window and sudden wave of disappointment flooded through me when I saw that it was securely shut. It was just a dream, Swan. I sighed, threw the covers off and headed for the bathroom.
As the hot water rolled off my skin I thought about the confession I had made to my dream Edward. I told him I loved him. I scoffed as I let the idea roll around my mind. How could I possibly fall in love with a man that I've barely spoken to, let alone who seemed to completely uninterested in me? Sure, he seemed to be finally coming around, but it was way too soon to be feeling this. No one could fall in love that quickly. Internally I chalked it up to my minds infatuation with his amazing good looks. Who was I kidding anyway? Every girl at Forks High probably had the same type crush on Edward Cullen. The thought of that disgusted me. I wasn't like them.
Pushing my thoughts aside, I turned off the water and headed back to my room. Thanks to the new found infatuation my subconscious had so nicely forced upon me, my nerves were shot before I even made it to Biology. He was all I had been able to think about all morning.
Slipping through the Biology door, I saw Edward sitting at our table, face set, eyes hard, idly drawing in his notebook. As I entered the classroom, his head shot up and his face softened. His mouth, which had been set in a tight line, curled up into a smile. I felt my stomach flip at the sight of him.
I sat down on the stool and pulled out my book, biting my lower lip to keep from smiling like a fucking idiot. Banner started class right away, and about twenty minutes in, I was startled as a piece of paper slid across the table and into my line of sight.
I snapped my head towards Edward who sat staring at me with a shy, crooked smile dancing on his lips. I turned my head back to the note and sat for a few moments trying to decide what to do. Finally, I gave in. Damn him and that beautiful smile. And damn me for being such a sucker for him.
Bella. Would you kindly consider forgiving me for being so rude over the past few weeks?
I stared at the note, trying to think of a response. Honestly, there was nothing to forgive. We were never friends, and the only thing that linked us was Alice. I felt there was no need to forgive someone, whom you don't know, for not liking you. But why not make him sweat a little. I internally smirked as I bent over to write my response.
I'll think about it.
I passed the paper back and watched as a small smile played on his lips when he read it. A few seconds later, the paper was sliding once again across the table.
I'd like to be friends.
What has gotten into him all of a sudden?
Honestly, Edward, I don't think that is such a great idea.
I watched as he ran his hand through his already messy hair. That action alone made my heart skip a beat and my breath catch in my throat. A small frown had formed on his perfectly pouty lips, causing my traitorous heart to start thudding erratically. His golden eyes shot up and locked on mine. I bit my lip and turned away. The paper slid in front of me. I took a deep breath and opened it.
Why not?
Well shit. How do I even begin to explain to him all the reasons that us being friends was not a good idea? I thought for a moment and decided simple was best. He didn't need to know the physical effect being near him had on me. He didn't need to know how his voice, his face, his smell, his hair - oh God, that sex hair! – occupy my mind constantly. And he definitely didn't need to know that I was quickly falling for him. Yep, simple and deflective was best.
Truthfully, you're kind of an asshole. I mean, you have spent the past 4 weeks ignoring me. Between the death glares, the cold shoulder, and the silent treatment – I just don't want to deal with the moodiness or the drama. I am more than happy to be civil with you considering Alice is my best friend, but that has to be it.
I slid the paper back over to him and watched his mouth fall open as he read it. I bit my bottom lip and looked at him apologetically. I mouthed a silent "sorry" before looking back at the front of the classroom. A few minutes later, the paper reappeared.
Bella, I understand your concerns about "drama", but I assure you…I had my reasons for the way I acted. I'm not saying they were the right reasons…but they were necessary at the time nonetheless. I will happily keep trying to gain your friendship…even if it takes an eternity to do so. You are worth it.
I sat staring at the words he had written for what seemed like hours. Suddenly I felt cool lips gently graze my ear. I inhaled sharply and held my breath.
"Class is over, Bella," Edwards velvet voice whispered in my ear. As his breath washed over my neck, I felt a shiver roll down my spine. I slowly turned my head over my shoulder and found myself millimeters from his perfect face.
"Thanks," I breathed out as I exhaled the air I had been holding. Suddenly I was assaulted by the smell of him. As it filled my nose and my lungs, desire burned within me. He smelled exactly like he had in my dream. How is that possible? I've never been this close to him. It was succulent and sweet, intoxicating and exquisite. He winked as his mouth turned up into the most seductive and gorgeous crooked smile and then he was gone. I sat for a few moments letting the fog clear my head and the desire nestled deep inside die down. Holy shit. What the hell was that? You can't really be that hormonal can you?
I walked in a daze towards the gym. Alice was leaning against the wall next to the gym doors, visibly trembling with excitement. As I approached, she leapt off the wall and ran to my side faster than I thought humanly possible. She opened her mouth to say something but abruptly stopped. Cocking her head to the side, she gave me a quizzical look.
"What happened to you?" she asked, her ocher eyes narrowing.
"I'm not really sure. But it's nothing either way. What's up?" She studied me for a few more moments before resuming her excited trembling.
"So listen. My parents are going away this weekend, and Rose and Em are going to Seattle, and it's just going to be Jasper, Edward and myself and I really don't want to be stuck alone with the boys so I was wondering if you would like to spend the weekend at my house?" She was bouncing up and down like a 5 year old in a candy store. How the fuck did she manage to spit all that out without breathing? I hesitated for a moment, trying to put it all together in my mind. Alice was asking me to spend the weekend with her…at her house…where Edward would be…and her parents wouldn't be. My hormones quickly overruled my brain and I reluctantly agreed.
I broached the subject of Alice's sleepover over dinner. After some arguing back and forth, Charlie finally agreed to allow me to stay over. It seemed the Chief had a soft spot for the Cullens, which worked to my advantage. Of course I left out the small details…like Dr. & Mrs. Cullen being away…and my new infatuation with Alice's brother, Edward.
I was nervous as I made my way to Biology the next morning. As I entered the door and spotted Edward smiling at me, my face threatened to break into another one of those fucking love sick puppy dog smiles. I bit my lip, preventing it from spreading, and slid in next to Edward.
"Hello, Bella," Edward purred once I was settled. "So I hear you will be spending the weekend at our house."
"Yeah…well…Alice can be quite a persistent pixie," I answered, resuming my lip biting. That idiotic smile was still threatening to break loose. I could feel my heart rate accelerate and pound in my ears. Edward looked down at his lap and chuckled softly. Oh God, please tell me it isn't that obvious. Please, please, please tell me he is laughing at Alice, I begged silently.
"That she can be. So…I was wondering if you would like a ride," he asked, looking up at me from under his lashes. And I'm fucking done for…putty in this boy's hands.
"Umm…what?" I asked, trying unsuccessfully to focus my mind on his question and not his face.
"A ride…to our house. It can be tricky to find," he answered, smiling lazily.
"Oh….thanks but I think I'd rather drive. I mean I appreciate the offer and all, but..." Edward cut in before I could finish.
"Well I could ride with you. If that's okay of course," he offered.
"Ok. Umm…but I have to stop home first. I didn't pack yet."
"No problem. I'll meet you at your car after school?" I nodded and he smiled before turning back toward the front of the classroom.
As promised, Edward was waiting for me by my car. He looked breathtakingly beautiful as he stood leaning against the side of my car, his thumbs casually hooked in his belt loops. The wind blew through his hair and sent it flying in all different directions. He looked up as I neared him and flashed my favorite crooked grin. I stopped dead in my tracks as my breath hitched and I felt my knees weaken. Before I could compose myself, he pushed off the car and ran to my side.
"Bella, are you alright?" he asked, reaching out to steady me as his sweet breath washed over my face, causing his scent to flood my senses. He was standing directly in front of me, one hand on my hip, the other on my shoulder.
"I'm..f...fine," I gasped, trying to reset my breathing. Between the smell of him and the feel of his hands on me, my heart started beating erratically. Edward bent down to look directly into my eyes. His golden eyes danced with a mixture of worry and amusement.
"You don't look fine," he countered. Jesus Christ! Shadows crept into the corner of my eyes and a tingling sensation overcame my body. Suddenly, everything went black.
Chapter lyrics by Flyleaf, song titled "All Around Me"